How many dates without action before you eject?

[ohrein]

To me, it's similar to massages. They just aren't worth very much.

I've had girls who were licensed massage therapists give me a massage and it did nothing for me.

Fair enough. That stuff is like the entree and sides to me.

 

[newtothis92]

No kiss on first date is never a good sign. You are not escalating properly or she isnt attracted to you. I usually eject if there is no kiss after the second date and it has to be a kiss thats passionate and she has to be amazing. There are plenty of other women I could be spending my time with that want to kiss me. How passionate are your kisses? Is it full blown make out where she cant keep her hands off you or just a peck? Have you touched her in different areas of the body?

You guys have been friends for two years?! Most women would jump at the chance to "finally" bang him out if she was sexually interested. Sounds like she is using you until Chad comes along. I would pull back, dont ask her out on anymore dates, let her chase you, eventually fit her into your calendar one more time and escalate, grab a drink, go for sex, no dinner bs. If it doesnt happen, its never going to. Put her right back into friendzone and let the bish chase.

This is the deal. I did this. I pulled back completely after she messed me about before (lot of history like I said). She practically begged to go on a date with me. So I finally obliged. After the no kiss thing, I didn't contact her at all. Basically told her friend I'm not going on a 2nd date with her (after she nagged **** out of me in work). After some more upset begging on her part I went on second date. At end of the night she was teasing me and giving big signs so I pulled her in for deep passionate kiss, her eyes lit up the whole time during date she was really into me.3rd date was basically hand holding, lame good night kiss (not that passionate).. 4th date was at a wedding so not a full on date, she annoyed the hell out of me that day with her actions, she acted cold at the end of night. She apologised to me for being a nightmare as soon as she got home and blamed the alcohol. I told her at this point I'm not interested if she acts like that again. 5th date her birthday, she was very receptive, deep passionate kissing, rubbed her ***** through jeans, bit her neck.. She stopped me and wouldn't do anymore. I did push -pull. I do have sensory acuity, didn't just try and grab her *****, I talked to her then would go back to it. I didn't acted pissed off that she wouldn't go further. All she said was 'not now'. 6th date we went out for a drink and I was expecting her to ask me in, again lame kiss and that was that. She was already trying to make me commit to going out with her the following week with her friend and her boyfriend, said she wanted me to put my name down on a card she bought for her. I just said 'i'll let you know this weekend'. After the lame date I didn't agree to it and left it at that. She tried raising the issue again and I basically told her, you're holding back on me and this doesn't work for me. That's when she brought up the whole ' I was going to invite you over on x day'.

The thing is, I don't think she's trying with any other guys at the moment, I could be DEAD wrong. and she always talks about future plans with me in them. Wanted to take picture of the two of us and put it on Facebook. It's like she's treating me like a boyfriend MINUS the sex. Another thing that annoys me though, she's not hugely affectionate.

But trust me guys, she does 100% of contacting. I'm not being a total chump here. I guess question is, A) does she like me? I still feel she does, B) If so, why is she acting this way?

I admit I made a lot of mistakes in the past and she is probably still **** testing the hell out of me.

 

[Billtx49]

This is the deal. I did this. I pulled back completely after she messed me about before (lot of history like I said). She practically begged to go on a date with me. So I finally obliged. After the no kiss thing, I didn't contact her at all. Basically told her friend I'm not going on a 2nd date with her (after he nagged **** out of me in work). After some more upset begging on her part I went on second date. At end of the night she was teasing me and giving big signs so I pulled her in for deep passionate kiss, her eyes lit up the whole time during date she was really into me.3rd date was basically hand holding, lame good night kiss (not that passionate).. 4th date was at a wedding so not a full on date, she annoyed the hell out of me that day with her actions, she acted cold at the end of night. She apologised to me for being a nightmare as soon as she got home and blamed the alcohol. I told her at this point I'm not interested if she acts like that again. 5th date her birthday, she was very receptive, deep passionate kissing, rubbed her ***** through jeans, bit her neck.. She stopped me and wouldn't do anymore. I did push -pull. I do have sensory acuity, didn't just try and grab her *****, I talked to her then would go back to it. I didn't acted pissed off that she wouldn't go further. All she said was 'not now'. 6th date we went out for a drink and I was expecting her to ask me in, again lame kiss and that was that. She was already trying to make me commit to going out with her the following week with her friend and her boyfriend, said she wanted me to put my name down on a card she bought for her. I just said 'i'll let you know this weekend'. After the lame date I didn't agree to it and left it at that. She tried raising the issue again and I basically told her, you're holding back on me and this doesn't work for me. That's when she brought up the whole ' I was going to invite you over on x day'.

The thing is, I don't think she's trying with any other guys at the moment, I could be DEAD wrong. and she always talks about future plans with me in them. It's like she's treating me like a boyfriend MINUS the sex. Another thing that annoys me though, she's not hugely affectionate.

But trust me guys, she does 100% of contacting. I'm not being a total chump here. I guess question is, A) does she like me? I still feel she does, B) If so, why is she acting this way?

I admit I made a lot of mistakes in the past and she is probably still **** testing the hell out of me.

Bottom line here - everytime you try to escalate she rejects it or slightly complies or future fakes on you…
You’re being catfished.

 

[ohrein]

But trust me guys, she does 100% of contacting. I'm not being a total chump here. I guess question is, A) does she like me? I still feel she does, B) If so, why is she acting this way?

I admit I made a lot of mistakes in the past and she is probably still **** testing the hell out of me.

It could be one of those exceptions where she has some hangup about sex. Bad experiences in the past, or lack of experience. Hard ASD. The question isn't does she like me and why is she acting this way. The question is can you be bothered to keep going? Do you want to sleep with her that badly? Do you think she's worth this trouble? The answer most of the time should be no, but only you can make that call. Keep asking her out and escalating and it will probably happen.

 

[newtothis92]

It could be one of those exceptions where she has some hangup about sex. Bad experiences in the past, or lack of experience. Hard ASD. The question isn't does she like me and why is she acting this way. The question is can you be bothered to keep going? Do you want to sleep with her that badly? Do you think she's worth this trouble? The answer most of the time should be no, but only you can make that call. Keep asking her out and escalating and it will probably happen.

I think you're bang on.

I'm pretty sure I can sleep with her soon-ish. But I think you're right, should I keep going or not? Some guys from work I talk to (I don't like talking to other people about it as it's weak and could get back to her) think I should leave it. and they know her too.

 

[ohrein]

I think you're bang on.

I'm pretty sure I can sleep with her soon-ish. But I think you're right, should I keep going or not? Some guys from work I talk to (I don't like talking to other people about it as it's weak and could get back to her) think I should leave it. and they know her too.

Is she high quality outside of this problem? Once you break down the sex barrier and she opens up, maybe she'll be a great catch. You don't speak very highly of her so my impression is she's not a great catch and is just flighty and dramatic.

 

[newtothis92]

Is she high quality outside of this problem? Once you break down the sex barrier and she opens up, maybe she'll be a great catch. You don't speak very highly of her so my impression is she's not a great catch and is just flighty and dramatic.

She's got a great body and personality wise I feel she's on my wave length now, developed a kind of connection in that sense, humor wise. But this whole sex thing is so ****ing annoying, maybe she will completely change once she's opened up, I don't know. She does seem more of a colder type, I've always been dating girls who were all over me, touching heavily, engaging with kisses etc. Last girl I was seeing grabbed my d on the first date and when we was in her bed watching netflix just said 'can I suck your **** now'. I don't mind doing most of the engaging , guys should lead mostly. But I'm not sure she'll ever be the type to lead much.

I must say, first time we kissed I got rock hard. and that's rare for me. Other day when she bent over, I got rock hard. I got rock hard just holding her hand too once. So obviously my body is responding. Most girls don't elicit that response anymore. (I'm not a teenager)

 

[Billtx49]

Some guys from work I talk to (I don't like talking to other people about it as it's weak and could get back to her) think I should leave it. and they know her too.

Trust their advice. They are not emotionally involved like you currently are, know you both, and should have a rational viewpoint.

 

[newtothis92]

Trust their advice. They are not emotionally involved like you currently are, know you both, and should have a rational viewpoint.

They are just going from what I've said and the arbitrary 6 dates with no action I think. How about this? I organise 1 more date for when we're both free the next day. Go out, and invite her back to mine at end of night. If she says no, leave it for good? She sends me her work time table to do dates.

I think she thinks we are exclusive btw, just another thing to add. I've slept with someone since we've been dating.

 

[Billtx49]

Go out, and invite her back to mine at end of night. If she says no, leave it for good?

Yes, no matter what her personal issues are or agenda is, her time with you could well be up.
Your choice, weigh what you want vs. what she’s giving.

 

[Tilex]

Last girl I was seeing grabbed my d on the first date and when we was in her bed watching netflix just said 'can I suck your **** now'.

Damn.......
That's hot!

How was the sex with that chick?

 

[ohrein]

She's got a great body and personality wise I feel she's on my wave length now, developed a kind of connection in that sense, humor wise.

Despite what many guys think, getting along with a woman does not make her high quality. I made this mistake with my ex girlfriend a couple of years ago. We had an amazing connection with humor, personality and sex. But I ignored or wasn't looking for a whole bunch of red flags that came back to bite me. High quality refers more to empathy, impulse control, family bonds, femininity, communication, mental health, ego, etc.

She does seem more of a colder type

This to me screams avoidant issues. Impossible to tell from your posts how severe, but coldness, aka emotional distance, is usually a sign of someone who has trouble/fear with stable attachments. This was the biggest red flag I ignored with my ex so tread with caution.

I must say, first time we kissed I got rock hard. and that's rare for me. Other day when she bent over, I got rock hard. I got rock hard just holding her hand too once. So obviously my body is responding. Most girls don't elicit that response anymore. (I'm not a teenager)

So definitely thinking with the other brain.

 

[devilkingx2]

I would say, 2 dates without a kiss = eject

5 dates without sex = eject

This is assuming that sex is possible and you're escalating for it but she just won't let you without legitimate reason (neither of you having a free house is a legit reason, her having food poisoning is a good reason, her having a headache or some dumb **** like that is not, unless she suffers from severe chronic migraines or something)

Most likely as soon as you make it clear that you're not just going to be her puppy that survives on belly rubs while being her obedient pet, THAT is when the sex will happen. In which case you should bang her until it slows down again then drop her for good.

You don't want a woman who isn't really into you, who is only using sex to manipulate you or who has no sex drive.

 

[ubercat]

Thing is if she looks like she s trying gets me to date 4. I think 6 is too many. And by trying I mean you ve played with the pink bits.

 

[logicallefty]

I need a kiss on date #1 and a lay by #3 or they are ejected no ifs, ands, or buts.

 

[guru1000]

Again, context. Some women have been:

• Pumped and dumped;
• Religious or extra-traditional;
• Really like you and don't want you to view them as a wh0re; or
  
• Unsure about you or their attraction for you.

Don't put all women into the same box. Men don't want a wh0re, but then next women who are not wh0res. As long you are sexually progressing with each date, keep going.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I date a girl for many days and got a kiss only on date 3, despite that she was warm and passionate in our meeting, she shown respect for me and my time and never rejected physical (non sexual contact).

Not a problem in scheduling and not a problem from her to reach me where I asked, she was 19 from a small town and virgin and became my gf for about a year.

While I strongly agree with the kiss on date 1 rule, I believe other signs are important universally, those signs are her joy to be with you, rapport and availability in getting physically closer.

It's very unlikely that an uninterested girl will come sit next to you without you even asking while having drinks instead of sitting opposite at the table.

 

[devilkingx2]

Again, context. Some women have been:

• Pumped and dumped;
• Religious or extra-traditional;
• Really like you and don't want you to view them as a wh0re; or
  
• Unsure about you or their attraction for you.

Don't put all women into the same box. Men don't want a wh0re, but then next women who are not wh0res. As long you are sexually progressing with each date, keep going.

I think the problem is that most guys here have realized that 99% of the time, a girl who likes you wants you to bend her over a parked car while you wait for the uber to come. And when a girl doesn't want you that bad, it's because she's not very into you/beta bux/provider

So once you realize this, it's all too easy to next every girl like this, without realizing that some of them are legit, but the legit ones are hard to spot from the hordes of "just as slvtty as the others but low interest" you'll run into

 

[The Duke]

If this girl is super conservative and progresses very slowly in a relationship because she is "cautious", then she better be that guarded with the rest of her life. There needs to be congruency. Her current words need to match her previous actions.

The litmus test she needs to pass is:
-No faKebook/instagram attention whoring.
-Been this way with previous guys.
-Has no orbiters.
-Shuns male attention.
-Doesn't flirt with guys.
-Lacks charm.
-Been with very few guys.

If she can pass these 7 things then maybe keep her around, but definitely pull away some.

BTW, I've never known a girl like this. I really don't think they exist. The more "rational" ones take longer to warm up, but they are still women at the end of the day that act on emotion. And the more rational ones act like men anyways.

 

[dude99]

I reiterated to her I'm not trying to be her friend and backed off after no action on 6th. Her 'I was going to invite you over my house x day'. bla bla

Any "i was going to blah blah blah," is BS designed to keep you on her string. She was going to invite you.

Well did she? Did she invite you or not? Talk is cheep.

If a girl knows by yanking your chain this will cause you to lose interest she will change her behaviour. If she knows her action are blowing her chances, and you will walk and not look back, she will change her behaviour.