Trying to improve my text game.....please critique PART1

[Ryan]

Hi there,

So I am committed to making a concerted effort in improving my chances in getting laid.

Focussing on my text game, I took the time to upload my conversation (will upload conversations with girls where I failed - not got a date etc), please review and examine for mistakes, and provide general pointers on how to improve.




Please keep replies intelligent, and provide specific advice

Do not reply to my threads if you havent been laid in the past three months.

Thank You.


@ImTheDoubleGreatest! @Igetit! @3agle3yes @MrWood @dude99 @RangerMIke @marmel75
@logicallefty @VladPatton @sph21 @Alvafe @Mauser96@Julian @JohnChops @Mazer @Desdinova @sph21 @MidnightCity @deesade @guru1000 @Dash Riprock @ubercat @Murkserious @Poonani Maker @NSX-R @bradd80

 

[Ryan]

Conversation continued

 

[Ryan]

Dumb how I can only post 3 images per a post, here is the last part of the conversation.


Sorry details about the girl:

• 19yo, about a 7 met off tinder,
• she sorta ghosted me , and took like a day to respond to texts (like I said I will be posting conversations where I was not successful)

So her is my approach:

1. Get an excuse to start texting outside tinder
2. then ask those "whats your treasured memory" --->> determine more about her... (from that thread marmel posted with the questions that help build rapport, I need to revisit that)
3. then find out what she sees in her ex ( or more specifically what she looks for in a partner)
4. Make her laugh
5. Whats your favourite thing to do in the city --->> find out what kind of person she is
6. then "what you doing tommorrow"----->> want to get xyz

Thats my rough approach--->> need to fine tune it. .........thats where you guys come in

 

[MrWood]

where to begin... there is nothing to fine tune, your cylinder head is cracked

this chic has no options and would fvck a coke bottle if it talked.
why do i say this?, she is responding to your horrible lines and made up stories
your innuendoes are so cliche.... treasured memory... then you reply with some extremely needy lame lie (16:21) that does not reflect what she just told you
why do you care about her last bf?

sexy nurse, tuck you into bed?? wtf are you 11yo?
nursing is a sick disgusting job, but you want her to think of you as a patient she needs to wipe shvt off your ass

hint: try to actually talk to the girl

 

[hitmanwalking]

As a guy who has a harem of women, I will tell you that your number 1 fault is coming from the stranger vibe. A vibe where you want to have the "honey moon vibe." You are both validating each other. As as if you are already her lover.

I know this sounds corny but every woman wants unconditional love. Or in 2018, it's unconditional validation. The guy who gives value away freely is the guy who has it. The guy who withholds his validations lacks it. He only has a nugget and has to save it for his "special girl."

Have you ever wondered why when you have one beautiful girlfriend, it seems like you can have 10 more? And when you have nothing, all you get is de-validation?

It's the principle of abundance. When you have an HB 10, you don't give a fvck. You give away your validation freely. You don't even care if you come across as corny or needy.

Neediness is a vibe, not an ACTION!

There is no action that can make a guy with abundance look needy or beta! He can write a 10,000 word love poem and throw rocks at her window at 3 am and still come across as "cool."

At the same time, there is no such "cool" move or text that can make a needy guy seem cool. He can be as mysterious as James Bond and still come across and afraid to take risks and overly self protective.

The million dollar question is, if you are needy (and OP, you come across as needy/self protective to me), what can you do????

The answer is show vulnerability. Be straight forward. Don't hide, front, or play games. And just show your intentions, banter with her and have fun (that's what women are for right?) and take rejection like a man. In the long run, you will develop a vibe of integrity about yourself and women will pick it up.

You cannot fool women! You can only come across as an authentic guy. Needy or not.

Ask her questions that you care about. Qualify her for her unique qualities. And express your interest based on her qualities. And if you get rejected, move on. There is nothing else you can do. Don't listen to these armchair seducers online. They have no idea what they are talking about. You cannot fake value.

But being authentic is valuable in and of itself, regardless of how needy you are.

If you want a technique on how to achieve the authentic vibe, just ask her "What do you like to do on your spare time?"

And if she answers to your liking, you just reply with "That's cool. I like a woman who is adventurous/active/whatever she likes to do." Let's do that together sometime.

That's all you can do as a man. Show interest in her unique qualities and take rejection (I rarely get rejected when I am being authentic). In the long run, it's the best thing you can do. You will weed out all women who are not interesting/interested and will find one on your wavelength.

 

[Ryan]

where to begin... there is nothing to fine tune, your cylinder head is cracked

this chic has no options and would fvck a coke bottle if it talked.
why do i say this?, she is responding to your horrible lines and made up stories
your innuendoes are so cliche.... treasured memory... then you reply with some extremely needy lame lie (16:21) that does not reflect what she just told you
why do you care about her last bf?

sexy nurse, tuck you into bed?? wtf are you 11yo?
nursing is a sick disgusting job, but you want her to think of you as a patient she needs to wipe shvt off your ass

hint: try to actually talk to the girl

Its hard to tell if you are giving sincere advice, or just running your mouth.

Give me specific examples from the conversation, and how you would do better.

I asked about her exbf, to find out what she likes in a guy, and then later I could re echo it.

"Try to actually talk to a the girl" what does that even mean?

I dare you to post a screen shot of a conversation where actually even did better.

and yes as I already mentioned, I am only posting conversations where I failed...

 

[17 shots]

Don't text her the very next day after she leaves your conversation hanging. That's rewarding bad behavior

 

[Serenity]

Its hard to tell if you are giving sincere advice, or just running your mouth.

He's right.

Give me specific examples from the conversation, and how you would do better.

I would have just kept texting to asking her out. It's difficult to control the frame with such a limited form of communication as text. Your last text made me cringe, talking about an ex is not attractive and is better to just avoid. Most of the rest of the conversation is meaningless chatter.

I asked about her exbf, to find out what she likes in a guy, and then later I could re echo it.

Again, don't talk about exes. You don't find out through texts anyways, dates is where this happens.

Try to actually talk to a the girl" what does that even mean?

You're not having a normal conversation, you're doing a routine.

 

[ubercat]

Firstly bro props for working on your weak points. Most guys don't even admit them so they miss out on many chances to improve.

Yep. Too dancing monkey. You just have to relax a bit. Main rule is to build a bit of comfort and get them investing in the convo. So start with a bit of small talk yes you heard that right. You can try a bit of teasing and sexy time talk but not before the small talk. Destraction and deflection are good.

So let's take your sexy nurse because I know nurses a bit. If she's had a tough shift she's going to want to relax and cheer herself up. So ask her about her shift if it was good ask her what made it good. If it was crap say hey this always cheers me up and send her a cat video or whatever.

And trying not to make the obvious plays. A lot of guys would go on about her sexy pyjamas. Where is you could ask her what her favourite to PJs ever were and maybe she says something as a kid and then you can take her back into her childhood. Basically you're looking for emotional responses and to associate yourself with good emotions.


But keep it real short and definitely next day hit her up for a date. No text marathons. You want to spark her interest and then get her out on a date if she's getting all the attention via text there's no mystery and drive to see you.

The other rule is always keep them wanting more. So basically same rule as in person try and leave on a Highpoint when she s showing interest in the conversation

Text game is definitely not my strong point so hopefully @fastlife or @deesade will drop by.

 

[Glassguy]

Why are you saying "please" all the time and why would you ask when her last relationship was? You never bring up relationships.

Why are you telling her everything you do during the day? She doesnt fvcking care.

Then you go on to tell her about a story of you and your ex fvcking?

Bro.....its no wonder your results with women arent there. As I told you all along, you're too needy and clingy. Do you realize that you are writing novels and she is only giving you short responses? Because any interest that could have been there on her end.....you already killed it. You dont send novels and you dont tell chicks what your doing all the time. And you double text. This series of texting should be put on display here on SS as exactly what it to do. You've been here for a while yet you havent learned anything although you have been given great info during that time. You just keep making the same mistakes and wondering why they ghost you a month into it and still havent fvcked them yet.

Then you think there must be something wrong with them......

It's you dude.

You want to stay mysterious and interesting. Cant do that blowing their phones up and pushing a girl towards a relationship.....your job is to set the date and show up, being chill and having s good time. Then escalate.

You dont need dating advice....you need a therapist.

 

[ZaCool]

As a guy who has a harem of women, I will tell you that your number 1 fault is coming from the stranger vibe. A vibe where you want to have the "honey moon vibe." You are both validating each other. As as if you are already her lover.

I know this sounds corny but every woman wants unconditional love. Or in 2018, it's unconditional validation. The guy who gives value away freely is the guy who has it. The guy who withholds his validations lacks it. He only has a nugget and has to save it for his "special girl."

Have you ever wondered why when you have one beautiful girlfriend, it seems like you can have 10 more? And when you have nothing, all you get is de-validation?

It's the principle of abundance. When you have an HB 10, you don't give a fvck. You give away your validation freely. You don't even care if you come across as corny or needy.

Neediness is a vibe, not an ACTION!

There is no action that can make a guy with abundance look needy or beta! He can write a 10,000 word love poem and throw rocks at her window at 3 am and still come across as "cool."

At the same time, there is no such "cool" move or text that can make a needy guy seem cool. He can be as mysterious as James Bond and still come across and afraid to take risks and overly self protective.

The million dollar question is, if you are needy (and OP, you come across as needy/self protective to me), what can you do????

The answer is show vulnerability. Be straight forward. Don't hide, front, or play games. And just show your intentions, banter with her and have fun (that's what women are for right?) and take rejection like a man. In the long run, you will develop a vibe of integrity about yourself and women will pick it up.

You cannot fool women! You can only come across as an authentic guy. Needy or not.

Ask her questions that you care about. Qualify her for her unique qualities. And express your interest based on her qualities. And if you get rejected, move on. There is nothing else you can do. Don't listen to these armchair seducers online. They have no idea what they are talking about. You cannot fake value.

But being authentic is valuable in and of itself, regardless of how needy you are.

If you want a technique on how to achieve the authentic vibe, just ask her "What do you like to do on your spare time?"

And if she answers to your liking, you just reply with "That's cool. I like a woman who is adventurous/active/whatever she likes to do." Let's do that together sometime.

That's all you can do as a man. Show interest in her unique qualities and take rejection (I rarely get rejected when I am being authentic). In the long run, it's the best thing you can do. You will weed out all women who are not interesting/interested and will find one on your wavelength.

Despite not getting what you meant in the first few sentences 100% , still strongly agree with you, iam no casanova, women find me attractive and a lot have made it clear either by telling me or being super responsive to my approaches it shocked me how easy it was to get a number , go on a date and get a kiss, sh*t even when i did f*Ck up and said the wrong thing it was still cool .... i am kind, not nice, iam naturaly respectful and have no need to be an ashole for no reason, and when i was being true to myself with women i was having a lot of success, then i met a bunch of guy who became my friends at college and advised me to "up" my game and start being super sexual and more ... aggressive in my pursuit .

So i tried it with a lot of girls and guess what happened ? nothing, yep nothing happend, women were losing interest fast or just not feeling it ( in all fairness some had bfs and still hit on me ) , but a while ago i decided to revert back to my old habits " if it ain't broken , dont fix it" , basically iam genuine now, i say whatever i want, whenever i want, and if it works it works if not then i guess the girl rejected me , being authentic and genuine trumps games anyday, if you have something that women want and they make it obvious they're into you then dont play games, dont attempt to be someone else, just be yourself and most of the time that in itself is enough since if she likes your looks she will let some things slide plus stuff that you think are a weakness , to her they make you look vulnerable and more of a human which if anything makes her trust you more .

 

[Von]

Despite not getting what you meant in the first few sentences 100% , still strongly agree with you, iam no casanova, women find me attractive and a lot have made it clear either by telling me or being super responsive to my approaches it shocked me how easy it was to get a number , go on a date and get a kiss, sh*t even when i did f*Ck up and said the wrong thing it was still cool .... i am kind, not nice, iam naturaly respectful and have no need to be an ashole for no reason, and when i was being true to myself with women i was having a lot of success, then i met a bunch of guy who became my friends at college and advised me to "up" my game and start being super sexual and more ... aggressive in my pursuit .

So i tried it with a lot of girls and guess what happened ? nothing, yep nothing happend, women were losing interest fast or just not feeling it ( in all fairness some had bfs and still hit on me ) , but a while ago i decided to revert back to my old habits " if it ain't broken , dont fix it" , basically iam genuine now, i say whatever i want, whenever i want, and if it works it works if not then i guess the girl rejected me , being authentic and genuine trumps games anyday, if you have something that women want and they make it obvious they're into you then dont play games, dont attempt to be someone else, just be yourself and most of the time that in itself is enough since if she likes your looks she will let some things slide plus stuff that you think are a weakness , to her they make you look vulnerable and more of a human which if anything makes her trust you more .

You cant force it.

However: "just be yourself" i find lack quite substance.

You want to be "the better version of just yourself" and that's improved by expérience, technique, learning, desire.

Why i say that? Simple: think about all the time you were "right" but nobody listened to you because you "communicated it wrong"

Dating is like sales, sales is a profession where you are your own personal corporation.

People who are good in sales: have confidence, love themselves, love their products/services, but they also have key understanding of clients point of interest (striking at the right time) and have "méthods" to explain in short, simple, impactful ways.. The things they sell.

The way the game is played.. Even a beginner if "natural" can win in the short term. However, on a marathon, the beginner might crash while the master remains.

You can also see it has "the beginner vs the master"

You need to do a bit better than the competition while always be "yourself"

Text game a great example of "being yourself but your better selves might get more result" .. (Remember, when you ask people how you would frame your thoughts and some people find better ways to explain yourself.. Its like that).

OP sounds he plays on the fence, show a lack emotional irresponsiveness.

My quick advice to OP: Drop the please, Drop the work references (it's quick friendzone), never excuse yourself "i am worry was with the mate" (you giving her a etranger more importance than you and your mate), dont mention dating material (kayak) to than ask social Media (instagram).. cause you going from serious to off topic. Every line you had.. you shooted at 2 subject, it make you seems not serious/goofy/not leading or alpha.. while giving her all the space to friendzone/next you.

is she from ottawa? give me her number. i'll hit on her when i go there

 

[Ryan]

Don't do this. Ever.

Although a lot of women do have their types, women will also have a tendency to look for opposite traits in the next man after getting fed up with the previous one. Echoing traits of an ex carries with it a good chance of killing your chances with her in the spot.

Never use an ex as a guideline to how you do things. Always do you.

I am trying to determine what it was originally about her ex that attracted her to him .

Therefore she should be attracted to the same qualities ..... "Kind , compassionate, "

• we just need to figure out these qualities indirectly, without bringing up the ex

@Amante Silvestre

 

[Ryan]

You're trying to logic your way through this. It doesn't work.

Many women will be turned off if you display many of the initial qualities of their ex's. Even in the best case scenario, even if they are attracted to you because you might display many of the same qualities, you will always then be compared to her ex, and he's got a lot more emotional investment out her than you do. You're just going to be a knock-off replacement who isn't quite the same.

How do you see either one of those as a winning strategy?

Who knows? 80% of the advice on this forum is speculation.

 

[MrWood]

Who knows? 80% of the advice on this forum is speculation.

and 100% that you dont get laid

 

[Glassguy]

Who knows? 80% of the advice on this forum is speculation.

Just keep doing what you're doing since its paying off so well for you.

 

[Ryan]

and 100% that you dont get laid

Say what you want, we all know it's true.

 

[ubercat]

Nah. There's plenty of guys on this forum who are better than me and I ve had more arse than a public toilet seat. I just set up a mate with a verifiable nine out of ten yoga teacher for god sake imagine the fun you could have with that. And then he never even sent a text. You wouldn't believe the levels of soft c0ckedness that are out there.

Get back with the program Ryan. Your text game is worse than mine and mine sux which is why I don't do it. You made this thread for a reason try out some of the suggestions.

 

[Epicurus]

I just read the first screen shot and I cringed pretty badly. Sexy nurse uniform? Have you ever seen a nurse, outside of maybe a Halloween party.

Your problem basically stems from trying way too hard. Also say more by saying less

 

[Ryan]

much better then before but still far from ideal

the main reason your failing with this chick is low interest. shes not into you. when thats the case it doesnt even matter if youre running smooth game. you might entertain them for a bit but thats it. if they dont like they dont like you.

your main mistakes as others have pointed out is talking about your ex, asking about hers and being up her butt and genreally, youre just trying to force attraction when it isnt there

i dont understand how youve been here longer than most guys and things still havent clicked for you

If she has low interest.... then how did she match with me on Tinder?