I broke NC after 2 months and a messy break up

[cedricz]

well, i did it



I decided after 2 months to reinitiate contact with her

I was with her almost 2 years; separated 5/6 months ago on some kind of mutual agreement; she sort of initiated but i didn’t say anything back then;

she jumped into a new relationship almost right after the breakup

I tried to come back to rekindle 2/3 months later the first breakup but got rejected in a nasty way



After i came back to her bargaining, things got messy and we separated on a very bad note. I pursued, was too clingy, pushy and sort of insisted / forced her to meet up to talk, she was extremely obnoxious and disrepectful and i couldn't handle it. Too much stress. We ended up clashing and having an heated argument. We left the restaurant and and parted ways in the middle of the street

We didn't talk after that for 2 months



As the dumpee, I wouldn’t have contacted her if we had a peaceful breakup but i thought it would be not a bad idea to test the water and reopen communication to see how it goes

The goal was to leave the communication open and leave things on a friendly note in case she changes her mind



I was driving today by a place we stopped by while on holidays by the seaside and sent her a picture and wrote her:



« I just stopped by « seaside place » and it made me smile to think about the last time we were there;

Just wanted to say hi and hope you and « her dog’s name » are doing well »





she instantly answered « Hi, yes i’m good and the dog too »



That was a few hours ago



She didn’t ask me anything about me and her reponse was polite but i didn’t feel like answering anything

Goal was just to see if she would even respond to me, and just send a nice text to get over the argument we had last time, not necessarily to have a chat



Do you think i should pursue the conversation or just leave it like this for now and go back to NC?

 

[MrWood]

go back to NC... she got validated and you feel like shvt

 

[marmel75]

What was the point of this? You got dumped, then rejected when you acted desperate ans tried to get her back, and now you come back for more??

Dude get some options so you can stop with this silliness.

 

[cedricz]

This was painful to read

She couldn’t care less about you or your past relationship

Don’t you get it? You this disrespectful bltch dumped you to get with another dude and here you are begging her and still stuck in the past

Have some self respect man. Move on and forget about this chick

Well, you don't have the whole story;
but basically i screwed up big time with her. This is why she left and why i tried to fix things, and also why she still probably hates my guts
If i had been the perfect bf i would have never done any of this. I didn't cheat but i treated her like sht as i was sucked into business problems and depression

Second reason is that she is an extremely high value girl ; i'd objectively say a 9 with an exceptionally good connection with me and everything in order in her life. Replacing her with a similar or superior quality woman will be a real challenge

But yeah she doesn't care anymore obviously
My point was to test the water and see if she'd still respond
Now i'm back to NC

yeah i'm stuck in the past like a little btch; i hate it but the guilt is strong for that one

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Well, you don't have the whole story;
but basically i screwed up big time with her. This is why she left and why i tried to fix things, and also why she still probably hates my guts
If i had been the perfect bf i would have never done any of this. I didn't cheat but i treated her like sht as i was sucked into business problems and depression

Second reason is that she is an extremely high value girl ; i'd objectively say a 9 with an exceptionally good connection with me and everything in order in her life. Replacing her with a similar or superior quality woman will be a real challenge

But yeah she doesn't care anymore obviously
My point was to test the water and see if she'd still respond
Now i'm back to NC

yeah i'm stuck in the past like a little btch; i hate it but the guilt is strong for that one

Who cares what she has if she's not giving it to you. If she isn't choosing you she doesn't exist.

 

[CBear]

Do you think i should pursue the conversation or just leave it like this for now and go back to NC?

Lol no! you need to get over it dude. You didn't screw up. Everyone goes through tough times but she replaced you as soon as she found a replacement. Also, there is no perfect boyfriend. People go through horrible times in life and whether they try to work things out or leave tells you how much they cared in the first place.

It's over & there is no reason to end on a high note because you won't, it'll just validate her that you think about her which means you still have feelings for her which will make her think that she made the right decision. It's like her thinking that you can't do any better and are still struggling in life because why else would you contact her out of the blue? Going NC is to help YOU become stronger and work on yourself, it's not for her.
The thought of her is making you emotional and that should never happen because it means you're dependent on her.

Her response was basically a nice "K" aka she doesn't give a s#*t. Time for you to do the same. Ik it's easier said than done but most guys on here have to go through it and become stronger after getting over it. As long as you get over it, this whole thing will be a joke to you.

Don't you want this to be her loss? don't ever focus on her again. One day in a year or a couple, she will reach out to you but you will care less and ignore her because you're too busy with your awesome life and your new hotter (and higher quality) lady.

Life is all about experiences. Use this experience to help you live a better life and have better relationships in the future.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Yo you said she got in a relationship RIGHT after she left you. That means that she did not give a single **** about you. Who cares about trying to fix things? What’s done is done. Don’t go trying to tie up any loose ends because all that does is keep you wanting more. Best to just cut it off now than later, because your addiction isn’t as strong since it isn’t habitual. But if you keep this up, you will be cognitively impaired for a long ass time. Want a solution? **** some other women. Even an ugly chick. Just to get you going. But you can’t be so hung up on this. She definitely isn’t.

 

[skinnyguy]

Who gives a fukkkkkk about her

Go get fuked up, bang new bishes and realize how dumb she is.

Once you meet hotter women you’ll forget about this h0

 

[cedricz]

Lol no! you need to get over it dude. You didn't screw up. Everyone goes through tough times but she replaced you as soon as she found a replacement. Also, there is no perfect boyfriend. People go through horrible times in life and whether they try to work things out or leave tells you how much they cared in the first place.

It's over & there is no reason to end on a high note because you won't, it'll just validate her that you think about her which means you still have feelings for her which will make her think that she made the right decision. It's like her thinking that you can't do any better and are still struggling in life because why else would you contact her out of the blue? Going NC is to help YOU become stronger and work on yourself, it's not for her.
The thought of her is making you emotional and that should never happen because it means you're dependent on her.

Her response was basically a nice "K" aka she doesn't give a s#*t. Time for you to do the same. Ik it's easier said than done but most guys on here have to go through it and become stronger after getting over it. As long as you get over it, this whole thing will be a joke to you.

Don't you want this to be her loss? don't ever focus on her again. One day in a year or a couple, she will reach out to you but you will care less and ignore her because you're too busy with your awesome life and your new hotter (and higher quality) lady.

Life is all about experiences. Use this experience to help you live a better life and have better relationships in the future.

1.5 month later she was into a new relationship, but we were long distance on the last months so i guess she probably fcked this guy before, who knows


Girls in the 8-10 range do not stay long on the market; they have dozen of males orbiters

don't fool yourself, they ALL have replacement lined up when they decide to dump your a**

Almost all the girls who broke up with me were hooking up or in rebound relationships almost right after the separation, even though they were at some point madly in love with me.

They always try to hide it to not look like sl*ts, but that's how it is

They won't dump their LTR boyfriend unless they have someone tried and tested lined up as replacement

Now when you dump someone that's another story, because she/he will be broken hearted and will pine for the next months like i do now


Guys do not behave very differently anyway


i’m pining but not pursuing

The goal here was only to reset communication and leave the door open

I may have slightly devalued myself reaching out but at least we’re in touch on a neutral basis now

When you end up on a huge fight, that's not garanteed one will reach you even if they want to because they think they are the victim, pride and fear that you reject/hate them

and she’s a hard ass, extremely stubborn woman


I already hooked up with other girls; not as much as i would like because of my rock bottom energy level but i try to keep circulating

high end women are hard to get over guys and even harder to replace when your confidence is blown up

 

[Igetit!]

I may have slightly devalued myself reaching out but at least we’re in touch on a neutral basis now

"I may have slightly devalued myself".......dude,that's the understatement of the year,lol.

You do realize.....that.....the behavior you've shown AFTER the breakup....it's worse than the original behavior that caused the breakup in the first place....don't you?

All you've done was re-affirm in her mind that the decision she made to end things was THE RIGHT THING to do.

high end women are hard to get over guys and even harder to replace when your confidence is blown up

And why is your confidence blown? Hers wasn't. She didn't miss a beat,she's off to the next relationship. You think she's "pining" over you? Look...

I've been dumped before,it SUCKS.....I know. It's ok to feel bad and/or miss the girl,specially after her being with you for 2+years,but your confidence shouldn't be tied to her. It's called self-confidence cause it comes from your-SELF. If you can get one hot chick,you can get another.

You need to move on. And whatever you have to go through,just go through......

If you gotta mourn a bit,then mourn. If you gotta feel bad,then feel bad.....if you gotta miss her,then miss her......just start it so you can get through it......you "reaching out" to her to try to tie up loose ends so you can "LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN" is a a BAD THING to do. All you're doing is keeping the breakup wounds open,while she's off getting rammed by the next guy.

Try to move on,dude. I know it's rough,but you're only dragging out and extending the pain by reaching out to her.

 

[Spaz]

i’m pining but not pursuing

The goal here was only to reset communication and leave the door open

^This is;

The delusions.

The lies.

The stupidity.

The spineless.

The signs and struggles of the ultimate AFC.

 

[cedricz]

I always manage to stay on top of relationships and get the girl chasing after me
but i went through some very rough times with business and debt this winter and fell into a bad depression
We parted ways at the same moment as i couldn't take it anymore, but yet it really ****ed me up because i already was at rock bottom. I lost it after that; I wouldn't have pursued or done anything in normal circumstances; i would just have said ok i understand and walked away

now i managed to get back on track with my business and am financially out of trouble; i already banged a couple of fine women since then but it didn't really help. It will take a few months to fully get over it


"You do realize.....that.....the behavior you've shown AFTER the breakup....it's worse than the original behavior that caused the breakup in the first place....don't you?

All you've done was re-affirm in her mind that the decision she made to end things was THE RIGHT THING to do."


i totally do; this really sucks, but i guess you gotta learn
this is really tricky to handle when you already are in extreme distress because of your financial situation
i totally blew up this one; i won't screw up next time

 

[Dingo]

Cedricz...

What everybody is trying to tell you is that while you wish... hope ... pine for her she has moved on and is happily sucking, ****ing her new boyfriend.

Sorry to be blunt... Tough love bro. You will survive.... MOVE ON !!

 

[QuadDeuces]

Some lessons can only be learned by experiencing them instead of listening to advice from others.

 

[Stallionstud]

"
All you're doing is keeping the breakup wounds open,while she's off getting rammed by the next guy.

Try to move on,dude. I know it's rough

Funny story I met a girl with baggage and banged her for awhile. She told me some beta thing her ex said trying to get her back about “ I think it would be good for our relationship”

From then on when I was tee’ing off on her ass trying to make myself finish i would keep thinking to myself “ YEAH?!, how’s this for your fvcking relationship?! “

. . . I probably have some problems lol

Anyway she dumped me and stonewalled me, probably went and got back with him

 

[cedricz]

Cedricz...

What everybody is trying to tell you is that while you wish... hope ... pine for her she has moved on and is happily sucking, ****ing her new boyfriend.

Sorry to be blunt... Tough love bro. You will survive.... MOVE ON !!

true that; but unfortunately it's not like you can just push a "moving on" button and move on instantly
that drug is hard to get rid off

I know she is happily banging that new guy but i get laid too so i don't really care about that
you gotta relax with that and not take it personaly because obviously all the girls you'll meet ****ed, are ****ing and will **** dozens of other guys

My mindset is always that it is not your girl it is just your turn
But well, after a while you get attached and that drug gets under your skin regardless of what you think

 

[Dingo]

Cedricz....

Tell me about it...Your not alone.

Most of us here are because of complicated relationships and broken hearts. Take your time to heal.... Read pages and pages of the No Contact Thread on top....

The Red Pill is a terribly painful and bitter to swallow but it won't kill you. It will make you stronger.... Good luck.