I don't understand the Attraction phase of Mystery Method

[nicksaiz65]

So Attract->Comfort->Seduce. That makes sense.

Comfort and Seduction are self explanatory.

But what exactly am I doing in the attraction stage? Just being a confident DJ/PUA, holding a really strong frame, and flirting? Or is there more to it?

 

[lizardking82]

You are trying to make conversation. You are representing the male energy = you go for it, you reach out, you try to get it, just like the penis reaches out of itself and goes inside the vagina, you go for the girl, for the hunt, for the prey, you go for the win.

The attraction is created in the woman as a perception of you, what you are, what your value is, what she wants at the point of her life the most, it's a mixture of things. I would say go for the hunt anytime you feel like it. Yes, use your skills to construct the hunt as good as you can, but understand that you will not always catch the prey, not even the best hunters do not always catch the prey.

What you work on, you get better for sure.

And remember: their confidence mainly comes from the fact they know we want them = their confidence is in your self control and behaviour. We're better than them so own it.

 

[Spaz]

So Attract->Comfort->Seduce. That makes sense.

Comfort and Seduction are self explanatory.

But what exactly am I doing in the attraction stage? Just being a confident DJ/PUA, holding a really strong frame, and flirting? Or is there more to it?

Honestly I've no idea and I honestly don't think there's a step by step instruction manual towards attraction. All I notice is women's reaction towards me and those silent communication they send out, that's when I make a decision to pursue it further or just ignore and dismiss.

 

[marmel75]

Stop using this PUA stuff and just act normal and experiment with what works for you. You'll thank me later.

 

[marmel75]

The patterns that work for YOU are far more important than learning patterns that work for someone else. Stop learning what works for somone else and start learning what works for YOU. Thats my point.

In the amount of time you can waste trying what works for someone else, you could have spent that time experimenting with what would work for you...

 

[nicksaiz65]

The patterns that work for YOU are far more important than learning patterns that work for someone else. Stop learning what works for somone else and start learning what works for YOU. Thats my point.

In the amount of time you can waste trying what works for someone else, you could have spent that time experimenting with what would work for you...

As in find my own style of game? I just hate it in interactions where I feel like I’m shooting blindly. I’m thinking I’m just gonna be myself and focus on building rapport, attraction by flirting, and holding frame. As opposed to a flow chart.

 

[Reykhel]

The patterns that work for YOU are far more important than learning patterns that work for someone else. Stop learning what works for somone else and start learning what works for YOU. Thats my point.

In the amount of time you can waste trying what works for someone else, you could have spent that time experimenting with what would work for you...

Yeah but the problem there is that many never find what quite works for them. A lot spend so much time "being themselves" and not having
any success and then blame it on those "scrupulous bytches"

An example: a man might try to approach women during the day (daygame) and find that no matter what he's doing he's having no success.....

Now if you take that man and show him how to look for the hook point in a conversation/show him how to get her to hook.........that may be classed
as "pua technique" but that simple change might also completely revolutionize his approach......and his success.

"pua techniques" can also be seen as improving and being aware of the conversation flow.

 

[marmel75]

As in find my own style of game? I just hate it in interactions where I feel like I’m shooting blindly. I’m thinking I’m just gonna be myself and focus on building rapport, attraction by flirting, and holding frame. As opposed to a flow chart.

You are going to have to accept that it will take you a lot of dates and a lot of different things to try before you will piece things together. There is no real quick fix other than going on lots of dates with different women, discarding behaviors and actions that repeatedly dont work and keeping those that do.

 

[Visionist]

Find your frame. Some guys are all about day game for instance, letting the women come across them in their day to day activities.

Basically have a life, as cheesy as that sounds. Have interests and hobbies. Chances are some of these will be sexier than others. I love rollercoasters, and plan lengthy trips around visits to various parks to ride them. There are loads of single girls in that situation, but even if there aren't, I still have a blast. I'm there to ride, and if I end up being ridden, all the better, if I don't, that's great too.

 

[claudolfgeorgini]

In real life there is nothing to do in the attraction phase except for looking your best. MOST women already make up their mind about you before you open your mouth. However, it is possible for her to end up losing attraction for you and that's where comfort comes in.

 

[ohrein]

In real life there is nothing to do in the attraction phase except for looking your best. MOST women already make up their mind about you before you open your mouth. However, it is possible for her to end up losing attraction for you and that's where comfort comes in.

Wrong, attraction is multi-variate. Yes, looks are important but you can be really good looking and after five minutes of conversation kill all the attraction with a woman. You should make yourself as good looking as possible, dress well and be stylish. But that's really just the beginning. Confidence, humor, social skills, building rapport, body language, correct eye contact, personality, etc etc etc. There's no simple guide to attraction and women are attracted to different things in some ways, and universal things in other ways. That's why @marmel75 said you should build a game that works for you. Are you funny? Use that. Are you a bit quieter? Be aloof and mysterious. Think of the difference between Hank Moody from Californication and James Dean. Both attractive, but very different. But you need to figure out confidence and a social game that is congruent with who you are.

 

[CrashOverRide]

i'll often say LET HER SEE YOU WITH ANOTHER GIRL

women are sheep. they go where they are led or think they should be

This is true but how are you able to generate this kind of pre selection when meeting a stranger? Do you just need a lot of female friends who will do you favor. If you have an example of when you used this that would be awesome!

 

[Dash Riprock]

The patterns that work for YOU are far more important than learning patterns that work for someone else. Stop learning what works for somone else and start learning what works for YOU. Thats my point.

In the amount of time you can waste trying what works for someone else, you could have spent that time experimenting with what would work for you...

Yes and No.

There are certain steadfast Rules of Attraction, if you will, for women in general. They have been discussed ad nauseam here on SS.

But, I do agree that some guys just can't pull off some of the Laws of Attraction based on their personality. For example teasing and ****y funny can be very powerful attraction techniques. But can the 21 year old introverted computer geek pull it off? Probably not. Confidence, Story Telling, Humor, Leadership, Fashion Sense, Commanding Presence, Passion for Goals, IDGAF Attitude, Body Language--all things that the vast majority of women find attractive that men can control. But, most guys can maybe pull off one or two of these criteria, tops, which leaves huge holes in their game.

If I could give young DJs one piece of advice, it's develop an unshakable confidence in yourself. Everything else I mentioned falls under this umbrella. You lack confidence, you'll get no where with women, or in life.

 

[Mike32ct]

It works if you are a 6’5” goth looking magician with a full head of long hair.

Otherwise, good luck “attracting” her with negs, exciting stories, and fake DHV spikes.

 

[RangerMIke]

You can't hack attraction. It's there or it is not. Attraction is how you show up, mostly looks, dress, and how you hold yourself. If you look good and act like a man women will be attracted to you. You can drive up a chick's interest with behavior, but attraction is or it is not.

Having said that you can certainly screw up initial attraction if you do not behave properly. What works for me is that when I first meet a woman that I am interested in is try to be playful and fun. Then build an emotional connection with rapport by asking questions about her, then ask her out or get her number. If she won't talk... even about herself, then she is not interested and you should move on. It's not a good idea to share too much information about yourself when you first meet a chick because that kills curiosity, which hurts attraction. You should have the mentality that you really do not care what she thinks of you... the only thing that matters is if she is right for you.

Don't be so serious... be playful. Don't agree with everything she says, unless you HONESTLY agree with her. If she says something stupid... then don't be rude and call her out, unless you can make it a joke and be funny... But don't agree with stupid sh!t. It's okay if you just stand there smiling. But if she says something that you honestly agree with or something you can honestly build rapport with then agree. To do otherwise means you come off as a pvssy staved jack@ss that will say anything to get in her pants.

 

[nicksaiz65]

The point is being missed entirely

There is a combination of things that need to happen to succeed with a romantic interest

It’s a completely natural process that has nothing to do with tailoring your game to fit your personality. These are separate ideas

Whether you are the quiet brooding type, a shy nerd, an extroverted party animal, an average joe or whatever doesn’t change the way courtship process normally unfolds

People see each other, they decide if they’re attracted to each other, they get to know each other better and then they fvck. Your own personal style of game is besides the point

Attraction > rapport > comfort > seduction

This process doesn’t change

What CAN change is the degree in execution of each of these phases.

What’s jerk and assh0le alpha game? Usually all attraction, too little rapport

Betas and afcs try to go the snipe rout and go all rapport with almost no attraction

These things are not mutually exclusive and they’re FLUID. For example, you can opt to freeze out a girl during the rapport phase when things are going good to build more attraction or if you have rock solid social proof and status you can easily jump into rapport and comfort.

but of the 2, I would err towards more attraction than rapport as we are not celebrities or famous people

I like this. It sounds a lot like an emotional progressional model that I read. It said that chemistry is a mix of emotional rapport, intellectual engagement, and sexual attraction. You can build them up in any order, and when you think the level of chemistry is high enough, you escalate. You build the sexual attraction by holding a strong frame, kino, flirting, looking your best, and so on. Sounds like we've got about the exact same thing going here.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Most puas build off of the mystery method and call it whatever they want. It’s a solid base to build from but it’s not the end all.

I don’t agree that attraction is there or it’s not.

Men confuse this the same way we worry about our looks because it’s what we focus on when we look at women. It’s projection to think that a womn will know right away if she’s attracted to you or not. That’s men. Not women.

Women are used to seeing tons of good looking guys. Are all good loooking guys alphas just because they’re good looking? How do you think they differentiate? Through BEHAVIOR. Something that most certainly can be tweaked and played with

And if you don’t believe me, talk to the guys that are good looking that couldn’t get laid to save their lives

I agree. As long as you hold a strong frame, I think you’ll be good for the most part. For the behavior aspect.

These days, I’m using the Dr. Nerdlove Emotional Progression Model in my day to day Approach. I think Mystery Method is great, but in my experimentation it kinda falls apart if you’re not at a bar or party. In the real world, I prefer the other one cause it’s extremely flexible and fluid like you said.