Quick thoughts

[lizardking82]

Talked with her on Instagram shortly, she has been a fan since a couple of months, likes my pics, bla bla. Invited her out for Friday, but did not make a specific hour. She said yes and was looking forward to it. Last night asked her "Is 6 OK with you?", she sees the message, doesn't answer, answers back today at around 9 AM "Can't at 6, maybe lunch time".

First impression is -> low interest, tryin to string me along, no need to answer to a "maybe" since everything other than a yes is a no, to me.

Your thoughts?

 

[spred]

Go for the lunch date, at least we add another verified fact to the stats
I mean for what means rescheduling from night date to lunch date

 

[lizardking82]

Go for the lunch date, at least we add another verified fact to the stats
I mean for what means rescheduling from night date to lunch date

Nah, fack it. I ain't writing to her anymore.

 

[marmel75]

Yeah is basically tell her nah, I'm good and make her reach out again if she wants something. Although circling back in a week and trying again has always worked well for me.

 

[Reykhel]

"Is 6 OK with you?"

6pm on a Friday evening is possibly a strange time to ask someone out. Some are only finishing work around this
hour etc It would be quite early for anyone who is thinking of going out on a Friday night....

"Can't at 6, maybe lunch time".

First when I saw this I thought it sounded like a bit of a frame grab (do it her way.) and not necessarily low interest.
However, if she was initially looking forward to it until you gave the time of 6pm.....it looks like you could have gave an inconvenient time.
Granted you know your own country and culture.

First impression is -> low interest,

I used to think like that....everything must be a demonstration of interest level. But how can we expect their interest level to be high from the get go when they don't know us at all neither have they had the opportunity to hook/become invested.

Get them out at least once before considering such things as interest level.

a "maybe" since everything other than a yes is a no, to me.

yeah but in this case it wasn't a "maybe we will go out"......the maybe seems more like a suggestion "maybe lunch time? (how does that suit?)

Nah, fack it. I ain't writing to her anymore

To cool for school

Now that you "don't care", you are free to do as you please even for experimental purposes....

You could invite her to yours and tell her to bring the wine

 

[lizardking82]

Thing is, on Wednesday I asked her if she wants to do Thursday 6 PM since I had no idea how her days run, or Friday. She said she'd rather do Friday. OK, I thought we go Friday afternoon. She is a student and she does not work as far as I know. Communication throughout yesterday was kept low-key and it sounded like she was up for it, but the games last night...make me doubt that. What is the point of leaving messages on seen? Useless games, no good. Then suggesting lunch time on the same day just 2-3 hours before the meeting? Like, I got other stuff to do as well and cannot make my whole afternoon conform to your request especially when it comes hours before the meeting LOL

Maybe I let the weekend pass and see if she reaches out, meanwhile I go on with my usual schedule.

 

[Reykhel]

Invited her out for Friday, but did not make a specific hour

You say in the op that you didn't make a specific hour

I asked her if she wants to do Thursday 6 PM since I had no idea how her days run, or Friday.

Now your implying that you gave a specific hour for Thursday or "Friday" (the implication your making is that it's the same time)

I thought we go Friday afternoon

you thought, but didn't give a time there and then

Listen, you're way of setting up a meet comes across as very passive and unconfident. You're asking her all the time "is this ok with you?" you're asking her which days are ok with her, rather than telling confidently what day, place and time. You give her the choice of days....then
you ask her "is 6pm ok with you?" you are very casual with your arrangements yet you're expecting her to jump to your tune? if you expect her to jump, better to have a firmer hand.

Then suggesting lunch time on the same day just 2-3 hours before the meeting?

So she responded at 9am. you have lunch in your country at 11am?

You are exaggerating here and probably changing your story a little.

 

[lizardking82]

Again: she wanted Friday and I did not set up a fixed time for Friday since Wednesday since my day is not fixed with deadlines, am a freelancer and I arrange my days as they come, at least for now.

She responded at 9 AM, I woke up at 10 AM, was working late. I didn't even wanna go out for lunch, was planning for a walk instead, everyone goes out for a drink so I go for a walk sometimes, for a change.

I do not know exactly what you mean by "your way of asking out comes as unconfident". I gave her a choice for the day and you can't tell someone "we meet at this place, at this time". Maybe they can't at that time. I don't see the time of the date as an opportunity to show my firm hand, there's plenty of chances to do that, no need to be anxious to set it in minor details like this. This is what people do, in general, they ask "when are you available? Is this time OK for you?".

You said above "I don't care", it's not that I don't care, she seems like a nice chick, just the dragging along of this whole thing comes off as doubtful interest to me. Women who wanna go out don't play these little games, not answering, answering late, sh1t like this.

 

[Spidah]

Listen up, you got two kind of bitches you'll deal with. The kind who will show you respect from the start and the kind who will shyt test you until you check her or drop her.

You obviously got the second kind. What you do now is put the bytch on ice for two weeks. Then hit her up and invite her to your place. If she says no to that, you drop her. If she suggests another location that's more convenient for her, then you agree and wait for her to show up for the date, then flake out last minute. You stand the bytch up. Because no woman should ever be calling the shots. She needs to get checked until she gets it.

Guys you need to start checking these bitches. I'm tellin' you.

 

[RangerMIke]

Just worry about what you want and do not worry so much about why chicks do what they do. You gave her a date/time... she countered with lunch. No problem... if you want to do lunch, and you are free... go ahead and do it. Otherwise, just tell her you can't make it, and tell her to let you know if she wants to re-schedule and leave it at that.

If at some point in the future, you want to make another go at her and try setting up another date... go ahead and do it, if that is what you want to do.

Don't be so worried about 'losing frame' or wonder what her motivations might be, if you want to do something then do it. It is only when you start modifying your behavior against your desires that you run into trouble.

If you don't do lunch because you just don't want to or you are busy, then great... say no. But if you don't do lunch because you are playing some kind of frame control game... well that will just fvck you up... and you will start acting like a chick. Get your mind right... the key to that is to stay focused on what YOU WANT.

 

[Reykhel]

the kind who will shyt test you until you check her or drop her.

You obviously got the second kind

If this kid is seeing "shyte tests" here he must have a very weak beta azz paper thin frame.

Very sensitive and over emotional.

This is nothing.

If she suggests another location that's more convenient for her, then you agree and wait for her to show up for the date, then flake out last minute.

No secure "alpha" would have time for that messing about. This would be something a spiteful woman would do.

Or an angry over emotional insecure beta.

 

[Spidah]

If this kid is seeing "shyte tests" here he must have a very weak beta azz paper thin frame.

Very sensitive and over emotional.

This is nothing.


No secure "alpha" would have time for that messing about. This would be something a spiteful woman would do.

Or an angry over emotional insecure beta.

This butthurt beta male wants my attention so bad. Like a damn female. Chasing me all over the forum like he's pregnant with my damn baby.

I finally acknowledging his weak ass existence cuz I'm feeling generous today.

 

[lizardking82]

Just worry about what you want and do not worry so much about why chicks do what they do. You gave her a date/time... she countered with lunch. No problem... if you want to do lunch, and you are free... go ahead and do it. Otherwise, just tell her you can't make it, and tell her to let you know if she wants to re-schedule and leave it at that.

If at some point in the future, you want to make another go at her and try setting up another date... go ahead and do it, if that is what you want to do.

Don't be so worried about 'losing frame' or wonder what her motivations might be, if you want to do something then do it. It is only when you start modifying your behavior against your desires that you run into trouble.

If you don't do lunch because you just don't want to or you are busy, then great... say no. But if you don't do lunch because you are playing some kind of frame control game... well that will just fvck you up... and you will start acting like a chick. Get your mind right... the key to that is to stay focused on what YOU WANT.

I didn;t answer her message until now since I woke up at around 10/10:30 AM, was working late last night. After that, had other stuff to do. I am thinking of sending her a message in the lines of "Couldn't make lunch time today since I was dealing with work, but you let me know when you available in the weekend and we can set sth up". That solid?

And no, I wasn't really acting indifferent because I was afraid of losing frame, just had stuff to do, like I have everyday.

 

[Reykhel]

This butthurt beta male wants my attention so bad. Like a damn female. Chasing me all over the forum like he's pregnant with my damn baby.

I finally acknowledging his weak ass existence cuz I'm feeling generous today.

Golly gosh, he paints quite the picture doesn't he.

Why do you reckon the spidhaman kid is so angry and hostile? We does he feel the need to be so combative and somewhat childish in dealing with the opposite sex?

Has he been hurt? taken advantage of? He sounds like he's suffering.

His beta male anger reveals his beta male status.

Anyway, back to the thread. I reckon it's an overreaction to see "games" and "shyte tests" here.

 

[guru1000]

Talked with her on Instagram shortly, she has been a fan since a couple of months, likes my pics, bla bla. Invited her out for Friday, but did not make a specific hour. She said yes and was looking forward to it. Last night asked her "Is 6 OK with you?", she sees the message, doesn't answer, answers back today at around 9 AM "Can't at 6, maybe lunch time".

First impression is -> low interest, tryin to string me along, no need to answer to a "maybe" since everything other than a yes is a no, to me.

Your thoughts?

"Can't do lunch. How about we meet at XYZ place, __day at X:XX?"

If she declines without a counteroffer, S & D.

 

[lizardking82]

Already sent her the message saying "Couldn't make lunch today cause I was busy doing some work, but let me know when you available during the weekend so we can set something up". If she doesn't answer or the answer is flakey, won't chase her one single message more LOL

 

[guru1000]

Already sent her the message saying "Couldn't make lunch today cause I was busy doing some work, but let me know when you available during the weekend so we can set something up". If she doesn't answer or the answer is flakey, won't chase her one single message more LOL

You see LK, a little tough love I give now and then, but it's all with good intent

 

[lizardking82]

You see LK, a little tough love I give now and then, but it's all with good intent

No hard feelings, I can dislike your attitude in one moment, doesn't mean I will throw away everything you might have to say in other situations. Appreciate the advice.

 

[lizardking82]

And to my message she answers "I got it. It's OK."

 

[Reykhel]

I do not know exactly what you mean by "your way of asking out comes as unconfident". I gave her a choice for the day and you can't tell someone "we meet at this place, at this time". Maybe they can't at that time. I don't see the time of the date as an opportunity to show my firm hand, there's plenty of chances to do that, no need to be anxious to set it in minor details like this. This is what people do, in general, they ask "when are you available? Is this time OK for you?".

It means that you don't come across as very assertive. It seems like you're in the "anti dump" mode and are making pre-emptive strikes in case she rejects or flakes....it seems like your actions are a buffer to rejection.

If you give them a specific time and place and they are not available to can counter offer with a specific time and place. I mean what's the point in someone saying to you let's go for a drink sometime. It never happens. When is sometime? before armagedeon?

Anxious to set in minor details?????? If I want to meet up with someone, the time, place and hour are minor details??? What, our energy will
just find each other?

but let me know when you available during the weekend so we can set something up".

Again, this sounds so vague and is if you have no plans the weekend. In fact it sounds very Corey Wayne. You're leaving it in her hands and she senses the vagueness from you. She thinks you're unsure and probably thinks you have zero interest level. This gives the impression that you're available all weekend. "you tell me when you're free babe, and I'll come running"

Sometimes the woman is a mirror.