Opinions on "friends first" in this situation

[Packers2010]

as I've been reading this thread I have come to the conclusion that:

women will do and say ANYTHING to keep you in the orbiter zone. they will say and do NOTHING when they want you to **** them. they know the guy will just " handle it"

 

[mrgoodstuff]

OP: what is the longest length of time you have gone without talking/messaging ?

Probably 4 hours lol. Being gone and unavailable over a whole weekend can create some distance and curiousity.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

yeah heard this line plenty of times. The last time I did we fücked on the 2nd date. So there's that.....

Wake up dude you are in a fantasy land & you are dealing with an alpha widow.

 

[Jack Burton]

Yeah I would either walk away or initiate some sexual advances if its still possible????... I hate to tell you, but she is probably already looking at you like CMNILS87 just state as "her emotional tampon". At this point it maybe better for your well-being to bow out.

 

[DrStranglove]

Ok interesting update.

We have a few mutual friends in the social circle. Heard and saw she was asking advice about our situation. Some of her complaints were she couldn't read me and is exhausted trying to psychoanalyze everything. Thinks I tell her what she wants to hear. Wants to move super slow. Was afraid of getting emotionally attached. Seemed indecisive and flip flopping day to day -- doubts one day, thinks I'm a great guy the next. Said if it works out good but it's ok if it doesn't. She definitely appeared to be hung up on the situation, for example appeared to be worried when I didn't return her text Friday. Admits she over-analyzes everything to death and has complexes. Doesn't want to be my girlfriend but wants to open up and give me the chance to date her and show her what kind of guy I am. She was asking for advice on how to drop hints to do that. Sounds like there might be another guy she likes more but he is emotionally unavailable. She said a bunch more stuff but that's what I remember..

So I called her last night knowing this. We talked for about 20 minutes. Seemed very excited to hear from me and said she was glad I called. Excellent conversation with her being upbeat and enthusiastic. Told her I found someplace fun to take her but it was going to be a surprise. She said okay it's a DATE. She has never said that before and I assume that was the hint she talked about. I told her to let me know when she was free this week. She said she had family coming in and this week probably wouldn't work, but told me to not be a stranger. Not sure if I believe the family excuse.

So she's interested but has 10000 things going on in her mind. Other guys maybe. Can't decide. This is going to turn into an emotional train wreck for me. I do like her but am starting to think it may be best to remove myself from the situation..

 

[Billtx49]

The date convo was designed to keep stringing you along and in her orbit.
She says it’s a DATE, but then she’s busy.… If that’s not clear enough for you, then take a wild guess about what she doesn’t want to do.
Move on guy, you’ve developed feelings for a girl you can’t date and haven’t even banged …

 

[marmel75]

Ok interesting update.

We have a few mutual friends in the social circle. Heard and saw she was asking advice about our situation. Some of her complaints were she couldn't read me and is exhausted trying to psychoanalyze everything. Thinks I tell her what she wants to hear. Wants to move super slow. Was afraid of getting emotionally attached. Seemed indecisive and flip flopping day to day -- doubts one day, thinks I'm a great guy the next. Said if it works out good but it's ok if it doesn't. She definitely appeared to be hung up on the situation, for example appeared to be worried when I didn't return her text Friday. Admits she over-analyzes everything to death and has complexes. Doesn't want to be my girlfriend but wants to open up and give me the chance to date her and show her what kind of guy I am. She was asking for advice on how to drop hints to do that. Sounds like there might be another guy she likes more but he is emotionally unavailable. She said a bunch more stuff but that's what I remember..

So I called her last night knowing this. We talked for about 20 minutes. Seemed very excited to hear from me and said she was glad I called. Excellent conversation with her being upbeat and enthusiastic. Told her I found someplace fun to take her but it was going to be a surprise. She said okay it's a DATE. She has never said that before and I assume that was the hint she talked about. I told her to let me know when she was free this week. She said she had family coming in and this week probably wouldn't work, but told me to not be a stranger. Not sure if I believe the family excuse.

So she's interested but has 10000 things going on in her mind. Other guys maybe. Can't decide. This is going to turn into an emotional train wreck for me. I do like her but am starting to think it may be best to remove myself from the situation..

Dude you are clueless and believing a womans word over her actions. We have told you what the hard cold truth is, you turn a blind eye to it and continue to play this stupid game with her. There is nothing interesting about this update, simply you not wanting to face reality and continuing with this Disney fantasy land bullsh!t.

Have fun, you deserve whatever you get at this point which most assuredly wont be getting her naked.

Your saying "She will let me show her what type of guy I am" shows how ass backwards you have this...she should be showing YOU what type of woman SHE is.

 

[MrWood]

sniff... i smell flake date

 

[DrStranglove]

Alright point taken. Moving on and if she wants to reach out and put herself on a silver platter, she knows how to reach me.

 

[The Diver]

Doesn't want to be my girlfriend ,but wants to open up and give me the chance to date her and show her what kind of guy I am.

So basically you're expected to "prove her" you are deserve her ,,,,,and to that I'll say: FU*CK HER.

 

[sph21]

I told her to let me know when she was free this week.

Don't do this next time. You told her indirectly that you didn't want to lead her and let her lead instead. The last thing you want to do is being led by a girl. Girls are often indecisive and this is why they want men to lead at everything.

 

[flowtheory]

You’re seeing what you want to see and it’s not the truth.

She’s stated she has complexes, overanalyzes, is unstable, etc etc..

Why the heck would you even want to date someone with all these instabilities. Because even if you get her naked and start dating.. she’s now going to run a muck of your equilibrium. Go find a healthy minded woman who doesn’t have issues.

 

[Tilex]

Bro, you're making me sick to my stomach.
She's leading you on again and again. This is an endless cycle.
Forget being friends with her. Just completely drop her!
You need people that bring value to your life, not take it away.
She's not valuable at all. Let her go.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Have you gotten any sexual actions out of this babe?

 

[MrAddiction]

Bro, you're making me sick to my stomach.
She's leading you on again and again. This is an endless cycle.
Forget being friends with her. Just completely drop her!
You need people that bring value to your life, not take it away.
She's not valuable at all. Let her go.

I have Not Read any of that thread not even the ops. But aaccording to women and friendship the said is always true.

 

[DrStranglove]

She strikes again.

Texts me Wednesday saying she has been thinking and wants to meet to talk. Seems to go really well. Says she wants to open up and give things a chance. Says I'm everything she is looking for in a guy and it scares her. We talk about ways to build trust and get to know each other better because that was something important to her. There was more but that was the jist of it, she has never been that forward so I walked away feeling pretty good.

We didn't talk over the weekend so I call tonight and we spoke for 40 minutes. She sweeps the rug out and pulls a 180 on me. Says she processed that conversation and it feels "too fast" and "too much pressure" and "doesn't want a relationship" now. I was nonreactive but did ask if she was putting up a wall to protect herself because of the "your everything I'm looking for and it scares me" comment. She says she doesn't remember saying that and asks if I was sure she did?! Told her yeah I remember crystal clear because I was absolutely shocked it came out of your mouth.

She wants to meet this weekend "as friends to talk". Told her lets hold off texting this week and I'll call her next weekend about maybe meeting up. This girl literally changes her mind by the day. I've pretty well emotionally detached and am talking to other girls but part of me still wants to go next weekend just to see WTF she comes up with next.

 

[RedScorpion]

The dynamic seems way too serious between you guys. It seems too forceful. I'd listen to what she's said about "too fast, too much pressure, doesn't want a relationship". Actions > words - but you have to listen to the words as well.

I'll repeat that - she's saying too much too soon. 40 minute phone call is too long as well. She's not your girlfriend. You're not her boyfriend.

I'd flake on calling her myself.

 

[sph21]

She wants to meet this weekend "as friends to talk".

We told you over and over again that going in friends first will result in just friends. There's nothing shocking about this update.

This girl literally changes her mind by the day.

This is typically a girl who has a low interest in you. It's not unusual.

I've pretty well emotionally detached and am talking to other girls but part of me still wants to go next weekend just to see WTF she comes up with next.

Why? To prove whether she really means what she meant by saying "as friends to talk"? If a girl brings up LJBF, then she really means it.

 

[Spaz]

She strikes again.

Texts me Wednesday saying she has been thinking and wants to meet to talk. Seems to go really well. Says she wants to open up and give things a chance. Says I'm everything she is looking for in a guy and it scares her. We talk about ways to build trust and get to know each other better because that was something important to her. There was more but that was the jist of it, she has never been that forward so I walked away feeling pretty good.

We didn't talk over the weekend so I call tonight and we spoke for 40 minutes. She sweeps the rug out and pulls a 180 on me. Says she processed that conversation and it feels "too fast" and "too much pressure" and "doesn't want a relationship" now. I was nonreactive but did ask if she was putting up a wall to protect herself because of the "your everything I'm looking for and it scares me" comment. She says she doesn't remember saying that and asks if I was sure she did?! Told her yeah I remember crystal clear because I was absolutely shocked it came out of your mouth.

She wants to meet this weekend "as friends to talk". Told her lets hold off texting this week and I'll call her next weekend about maybe meeting up. This girl literally changes her mind by the day. I've pretty well emotionally detached and am talking to other girls but part of me still wants to go next weekend just to see WTF she comes up with next.

You should change your forum name from DrStranglove to Mr.Kotex

You r just like a Kotex soaking up all her monthly emotional bloodletting. And when she's done, guess where the Kotex ends up? That's right - In the rubbish bin.

And each time she needs some emotional bloodletting she's gonna find her Kotex. That's right, that's you Mr. Kotex.

Plenty on the thread here have explained it and you seem stuck. So here's my attempt to get you thinking.

Do you wish to further ur current role as Mr. Kotex ?

Or

Do you wish to progress as a Don Juan ?

 

[Igetit!]

She strikes again.

Texts me Wednesday saying she has been thinking and wants to meet to talk. Seems to go really well. Says she wants to open up and give things a chance. Says I'm everything she is looking for in a guy and it scares her. We talk about ways to build trust and get to know each other better because that was something important to her. There was more but that was the jist of it, she has never been that forward so I walked away feeling pretty good.

We didn't talk over the weekend so I call tonight and we spoke for 40 minutes. She sweeps the rug out and pulls a 180 on me. Says she processed that conversation and it feels "too fast" and "too much pressure" and "doesn't want a relationship" now. I was nonreactive but did ask if she was putting up a wall to protect herself because of the "your everything I'm looking for and it scares me" comment. She says she doesn't remember saying that and asks if I was sure she did?! Told her yeah I remember crystal clear because I was absolutely shocked it came out of your mouth.

She wants to meet this weekend "as friends to talk". Told her lets hold off texting this week and I'll call her next weekend about maybe meeting up. This girl literally changes her mind by the day. I've pretty well emotionally detached and am talking to other girls but part of me still wants to go next weekend just to see WTF she comes up with next.

So....you still running around in circles with this horsesh1t,huh? Ok.

It's obviously pretty pointless to try to explain or talk any sense into you.....so..I won't bother. Go ahead and keep chasing that red dot from the laser pointer she's got you mezmorised by....I just wanna add this thread to a list of others I've compiled...if you don't mind.


I didn't want to do this.....cause when you said you'd moved on,I thought,well....that you moved on. But maybe this will help other guys in the future. Ok.....

You remember my first post,where when you said maybe this situation was different,but I said it was pretty typical? Well join me on a little road trip. Let's go back in time here on Sosuave......I'll show you first hand what I meant by "typical". Ok,here we go......


August 25,2008...."In love with my best friend" http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/in-love-with-my-bestfriend.150015/

He spent a year and a half chasing after his "friend". This BY FAR ended the worse out of all these type of threads I've seen.

March 17,2009..."How to change her from a friend to a girlfriend" http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/how-to-change-her-from-a-friend-to-a-girlfriend.158452/ Dude spent 10 years trying to make "the switch". Uhh.....didn't work out too well.

December 22,2009... "A real challenge for you experts" http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/a-real-challenge-for-you-experts.169434/ This guy spent SIX YEARS trying to date his "friend". Feel free to see how it turned out.


May 14,2011..."Just tried getting out of the friendzone-manning up-at your own risk" http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...riendzone-manning-up-at-your-own-risk.184358/ This guy...he spent 10 years chasing his friend. (That's right.....10 years) The similiarities between this guy and what he did,and what you did here with this girl are AMAZINGLY alike.


September 29,2016..."Friend zone fun" http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/friend-zone-fun.236648/ This poor dude got played like a fiddle. And the sad part was,he was 32.....while the girl was only 21. But you won't have that issue,cause your situation is "different"...right?


Dude.....I can go on and on. But since you already have your mind made up that you're gonna keep chasing after her,that's cool......I just wanna add this thread to list I have compiled here. Maybe guys in the future will see it,realize how pointless and how much of a waste of time it is,and save themselves some heartache and anguish.