flake flake flake

[Mosc]

I met this girl a few months back i was driving she was crossing the road leaving work i was coming to the area to take care of something, i pulled up gave her a hello got the phone number and kept it moving, but what i came to do fell through so i text her asking if she wanted to meet for a quick drink if she hadn't caught her train already she hadn't.

i picked her up we went to a bar all went well we had a few drinks danced, got a late night bite to eat sat and spoke for a few hours and i dropped her home.

i made no contact the day after but did the next, we spoke a few times and arranged to meet again the following weekend however she ended up flaking on me 4 times in the space of 7 days a few times she didn't even contact me to flake she would just message the next day how she got caught up at work or just couldn't be asked.

but she was the one that was re arranging the meet ups, anyway i left her and she contacted me but i was kind of pissed and i hadn't really said anything to her before about the flakes accept for is everything alright? because i found the behaviour kind of weird, so when she contacted me i told her she was disrespectful we had a little exchange of words nothing serious or rude and she kind of ****ed me off by saying ok then 'ciao was nice meeting up that one time, bye' kind of thing.

we didn't speak for a few weeks but i still had her number in my phone and she would upload video statuses on this messenger app which sparked my interest again and she could see i was watching them i tried to message her about twice in the space of 3 weeks she replied but the replies were too weak i didn't reply to them.

i said **** it not worth my time and deleted her number.

about a month down the line she pops up saying she thought she saw me the other day to which i didn't reply.

i actually didn't reply because of advice from this website that stated its probably just for attention she's not trying to re kindle anything I had been looking on this site since after the whole flaking 4 times thing because it baffled me.

the main reason I'm even in this situation is because i didn't escalate sexually when we first met we had a little kiss when i dropped her home but i know i could have smashed easily that night but i was a ***** about it.

so this is the reason I'm writing here i decided to message her about a month after she messaged me about she thought she saw me which was bs she definitely didn't see me.

and we've been speaking for about two days & she asked me if i was around to meet up i told her i wasn't. because i didn't want her to flake again.

i really dig her sexually she's just my type and she had a good personality when we first met however her attitude changed after that.

i want to meet up but i want to be sure she won't flake again whats the best way to go about it?

 

[sph21]

You're wasting your time. And you've already put her on the pedestal. Move on from this chick.

Lesson Three

A guy called a woman and asked her out. The guy was nervous, was scared; he was shy.

“So we’re set for tomorrow night?”

“Umm, yeah,” she replied.

Then, tomorrow night came. The guy agonized over the date the entire day. How should he act? What shall he wear? Did he have enough money? Would he be fun enough?”

But the poor guy realized he was wasting his time worrying for there was no date. He got stood up.

Obviously, there HAD to be a reason. Perhaps something awful happened. Perhaps her car didn’t start. Perhaps some incredible thing occurred in her life AT THAT TIME that kept apart the two star crossed lovers!

So he tried again. “Did we miscommunicate?”

“Oh, umm…Yeah.”

“You still want to go out?”

“Sure.”

“Let’s go out on this and this day. OK?”

“OK!”

That day comes. The guy gets stood up yet again.

But he rationalized it away. She did say she had things going on in her life. She did say that she wanted to go out with him. She did say that she wouldn’t mind spending time with him. Obviously, something had to have come up. After all, she SAID she wanted to go!

So the guy calls again and sets up another date. Likewise, he got stood up AGAIN.

“Argh!” he screams to himself. “It is my fault. For I should…

“Judge by actions, not by words.”

Pook then took the young man to a wall with a majestic painting on it. The painting showed a young man, much like the young man in person, standing before a feminine monster, a sphinx!

“What is that monster?” cried the young man.

“Why,” said the Pook, “it is All Women, Mother Nature herself! This nasty sphinx devours all hearts and lives of those who cannot answer her riddle. That man, in the picture, he figured out the riddle to Woman. Thus, he became known as Don Juan.”

“And the answer to the riddle?”

“Is that there is no riddle. Woman is a sphinx with no secret. It is only our minds that we assign her secrets, mysteries, pedestals, and goddess-like status.”

Pook noticed that the young man was confused so he elaborated. “Look at the above example! Look at how the lad got stood up over and over and, yet, over and over he rationalized the standing up! How often is it that a lad rationalizes ‘signals’ to his liking? How often is it that a lad offers gifts and treasures as sacrifices to her goddess-likeness for in his mind she is a goddess? How often is it that a lad’s overactive imagination converts her disrespect, her shallowness, her flaws, into love?”

“So we paint the image we want to see?”

“Exactly! Judge by her actions and not by her words. Judge by what she does than by what your mind wants to see. Our vanity will convert the image of every disinterested girl into secretly loving us (for women tell us what we want to hear). This is why we must judge by her actions and not by her words.”

 

[marmel75]

I met this girl a few months back i was driving she was crossing the road leaving work i was coming to the area to take care of something, i pulled up gave her a hello got the phone number and kept it moving, but what i came to do fell through so i text her asking if she wanted to meet for a quick drink if she hadn't caught her train already she hadn't.

i picked her up we went to a bar all went well we had a few drinks danced, got a late night bite to eat sat and spoke for a few hours and i dropped her home.

i made no contact the day after but did the next, we spoke a few times and arranged to meet again the following weekend however she ended up flaking on me 4 times in the space of 7 days a few times she didn't even contact me to flake she would just message the next day how she got caught up at work or just couldn't be asked.

but she was the one that was re arranging the meet ups, anyway i left her and she contacted me but i was kind of pissed and i hadn't really said anything to her before about the flakes accept for is everything alright? because i found the behaviour kind of weird, so when she contacted me i told her she was disrespectful we had a little exchange of words nothing serious or rude and she kind of ****ed me off by saying ok then 'ciao was nice meeting up that one time, bye' kind of thing.

we didn't speak for a few weeks but i still had her number in my phone and she would upload video statuses on this messenger app which sparked my interest again and she could see i was watching them i tried to message her about twice in the space of 3 weeks she replied but the replies were too weak i didn't reply to them.

i said **** it not worth my time and deleted her number.

about a month down the line she pops up saying she thought she saw me the other day to which i didn't reply.

i actually didn't reply because of advice from this website that stated its probably just for attention she's not trying to re kindle anything I had been looking on this site since after the whole flaking 4 times thing because it baffled me.

the main reason I'm even in this situation is because i didn't escalate sexually when we first met we had a little kiss when i dropped her home but i know i could have smashed easily that night but i was a ***** about it.

so this is the reason I'm writing here i decided to message her about a month after she messaged me about she thought she saw me which was bs she definitely didn't see me.

and we've been speaking for about two days & she asked me if i was around to meet up i told her i wasn't. because i didn't want her to flake again.

i really dig her sexually she's just my type and she had a good personality when we first met however her attitude changed after that.

i want to meet up but i want to be sure she won't flake again whats the best way to go about it?

By finding other women to date who are more interested than her. Stop wasting time on uninterested women and start finding interested women. Your life will become so much easier in the women department.

 

[Glassguy]

Chase her. She sound perfect. Flowers, chocolates.....a sweet card. You know the drill. Dont take no for an answer and be very persistent.

Better not let this one get away.....she is definitely marriage material. Your goal should be to have her wifed up in 5 months or less.

Set that as your goal and go gettem tiger!

 

[Mazer]

We have all been in your position. I suggest you read through these forums, where you will see that you are really just wasting your time with this chick.
Start dating other women. Most women will waste your time. Get used to it. Only through experience and reading these forums will you understand.

 

[flowtheory]

Sounds like you haven’t been on a date since her and you’re living off the emotion off ONE DATE. Go out and create more interactions like you did with her initially, number close some cuties, and go on dates with other women. And learn from the circumstances of this past woman. But leave her there. In your past.

There’s so many women out there it’s insane.

 

[Glassguy]

While we are talking about flakes.......

I matched (for the second time) with a 28 year old, 5'9 skinny blonde, fake tits, I would give her face a 9. She messaged me first and I said "Didnt we try this before and no luck?". Matched with her 2nd time last Monday.

So this was the actual convo"
Her: Yeah we matched before and now so there must be some mutual attraction, right?
Me: Maybe. I normally dont do second chances. You are sexy but there are lots of fish in the sea.
Her: What if I want to meet up?
Me: We will see. I guess it might not hurt to meet up for a quick drink and see how we click and go from there.
Her: I am free Thursday
Me: I will meet you at ____ 8pm.
Her: Sounds great. See you then.

I didnt message her back. On Tuesday she messages me:
Her: Thursday is still good for me, but I am also free tomorrow night as well (Wednesday)
Me: I have a lot going on this week so lets stick with Thursday
Her: Ok sounds good.

No messaging by me.

Thursday rolls around and she says:
Her: I am looking forward to seeing you this evening
Me: Yeah same here. There is construction near this place we are meeting so if I am a few minutes late you will know why.
Her: Not a problem.
Me: Sounds good. Looking forward to it and see you this evening.

Then 4 hours later, which would have been 2 hours before we were supposed to meet:
Her: I hate to do this but I cant make it tonight. I would like raincheck if thats ok with you.
Me: No worries at all. I will go to plan B. Have a good evening and let me know tomorrow when you can break free.
Her: Thank you for being understanding. Talk to you tomorrow.

At that point I gave her the next day, didnt hear from her and unmatched her. No fvcks given. I had a date Friday night (that sucked in a bad way) and another date Saturday night (very hot 28 yr old blonde, had a blast and meeting up again tomorrow night). The point is, no matter how hot the chick is, when they flake you cant let it get to you. Play it off as cool, be smooth and give them a time frame to get back to you if they dont give you an immediate counter offer and move on.

Low and behold the flake sent me a friend's request on fb earlier today. I didnt except it and I might not. If she messages me on there (she cant on Tinder again because I unmatched her) and really charges at me for another shot I might consider it. But it will be "hang out" and not "I am buying you a drink". That ship has sailed.

Flakes are part of dating. I think they can be reduced by a large margin if you know what to look for but they cannot be eliminated.

 

[flowtheory]

While we are talking about flakes.......

I matched (for the second time) with a 28 year old, 5'9 skinny blonde, fake tits, I would give her face a 9. She messaged me first and I said "Didnt we try this before and no luck?". Matched with her 2nd time last Monday.

So this was the actual convo"
Her: Yeah we matched before and now so there must be some mutual attraction, right?
Me: Maybe. I normally dont do second chances. You are sexy but there are lots of fish in the sea.
Her: What if I want to meet up?
Me: We will see. I guess it might not hurt to meet up for a quick drink and see how we click and go from there.
Her: I am free Thursday
Me: I will meet you at ____ 8pm.
Her: Sounds great. See you then.

I didnt message her back. On Tuesday she messages me:
Her: Thursday is still good for me, but I am also free tomorrow night as well (Wednesday)
Me: I have a lot going on this week so lets stick with Thursday
Her: Ok sounds good.

No messaging by me.

Thursday rolls around and she says:
Her: I am looking forward to seeing you this evening
Me: Yeah same here. There is construction near this place we are meeting so if I am a few minutes late you will know why.
Her: Not a problem.
Me: Sounds good. Looking forward to it and see you this evening.

Then 4 hours later, which would have been 2 hours before we were supposed to meet:
Her: I hate to do this but I cant make it tonight. I would like raincheck if thats ok with you.
Me: No worries at all. I will go to plan B. Have a good evening and let me know tomorrow when you can break free.
Her: Thank you for being understanding. Talk to you tomorrow.

At that point I gave her the next day, didnt hear from her and unmatched her. No fvcks given. I had a date Friday night (that sucked in a bad way) and another date Saturday night (very hot 28 yr old blonde, had a blast and meeting up again tomorrow night). The point is, no matter how hot the chick is, when they flake you cant let it get to you. Play it off as cool, be smooth and give them a time frame to get back to you if they dont give you an immediate counter offer and move on.

Low and behold the flake sent me a friend's request on fb earlier today. I didnt except it and I might not. If she messages me on there (she cant on Tinder again because I unmatched her) and really charges at me for another shot I might consider it. But it will be "hang out" and not "I am buying you a drink". That ship has sailed.

Flakes are part of dating. I think they can be reduced by a large margin if you know what to look for but they cannot be eliminated.

Why did the date on Friday suck in a bad way?

 

[Glassguy]

Why did the date on Friday suck in a bad way?

She was kinda boring. Decent looks, not as outgoing and talkative and outgoing as I would like. Just a weaker personality that I look for. Possible plate but not sure about that either. 30 yrs old and just not that fun tbh.

The one Saturday night was great. She was very talkative, outgoing, lots of laughing, keno, etc. At one point at the first place we met for drinks we played a little profiling game where we each picked a person out and had to come up with a name, what they did (job), why they were there, etc. We both had a great time with it. She was also better looking. Nice body, perfect teeth and smile and her eyes were full of life.

Normally I like drink dates to be an hour to an hour and a half. We stayed at the first place for 2 hours and then she recommended we go check out a second place. Stayed at place #2 for an hour, then a goodbye hug turned into some heavy kissing/keno in the parking lot and I headed home. She texted me when she made it home safely, continued texting me for another 30 minutes. Told me that I was a great kisser and she couldnt wait to do it again. I waited until yesterday evening and as she was texting me I set up date #2 for tomorrow night. She has been initiating texts all day but I have been busy at my business so I have been a little slower to respond. She sent me a text last night telling me that she thought I was super cute and she had a great time with me and couldnt wait for more drinks and more kissing. So she has high interest.

The first one texted me to let me know she got home safely from our date Friday night and I just responded with "Ok thanks for letting me know". She went on to say she had fun and would like to do it again, to which I never responded back.

 

[Glassguy]

The scary part is, this is what some dudes want to hear.

Ehhh.....too bad we can watch them try and enjoy some cold beverages and laugh at it lol

 

[flowtheory]

She was kinda boring. Decent looks, not as outgoing and talkative and outgoing as I would like. Just a weaker personality that I look for. Possible plate but not sure about that either. 30 yrs old and just not that fun tbh.

The one Saturday night was great. She was very talkative, outgoing, lots of laughing, keno, etc. At one point at the first place we met for drinks we played a little profiling game where we each picked a person out and had to come up with a name, what they did (job), why they were there, etc. We both had a great time with it. She was also better looking. Nice body, perfect teeth and smile and her eyes were full of life.

Normally I like drink dates to be an hour to an hour and a half. We stayed at the first place for 2 hours and then she recommended we go check out a second place. Stayed at place #2 for an hour, then a goodbye hug turned into some heavy kissing/keno in the parking lot and I headed home. She texted me when she made it home safely, continued texting me for another 30 minutes. Told me that I was a great kisser and she couldnt wait to do it again. I waited until yesterday evening and as she was texting me I set up date #2 for tomorrow night. She has been initiating texts all day but I have been busy at my business so I have been a little slower to respond. She sent me a text last night telling me that she thought I was super cute and she had a great time with me and couldnt wait for more drinks and more kissing. So she has high interest.

The first one texted me to let me know she got home safely from our date Friday night and I just responded with "Ok thanks for letting me know". She went on to say she had fun and would like to do it again, to which I never responded back.

“Cute”

I hate when women use that word towards me. Always feels like a slight kiss of death

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

i want to meet up but i want to be sure she won't flake again whats the best way to go about it?

This is something you can't control. So don't try to control it, just forget it and move on.

Always think this when a woman flakes out: "Why?" If she flakes once and apologises profusely afterwards in a sincere manner, it's something that she probably didn't mean to do.

If she's constantly flaking with waning attention and keeps cancelling on you, the answer to "why" is "Because she enjoys jerking you about."

Girls really do get a perverse sense of power when they can get a man dancing to their tune. It's very odd, but I've experienced it myself and learned a lot from it.

A girl should be raring to hang out with you if she's quality and worth your time. If she's playing games and missing dates she's probably got you on her "males to be p*ssed about for my amusement" list, and she's just keeping you around so she can brag to her friends that she's got 10 guys she's jerking around. I've seen girls do that with their friends with my own two eyes.

“Cute”

I hate when women use that word towards me. Always feels like a slight kiss of death

"Super cute" is strangely enough usually more promising.

The one I get is "You're a really decent guy." As soon as a girl calls me a "decent guy" I know that I can delete the number and imagine her getting pounded by Chad two hours later, lol.

 

[ohrein]

“Cute”

I hate when women use that word towards me. Always feels like a slight kiss of death

My girlfriend calls me cute a good five minutes before she's ripping my pants off dripping wet. Wouldn't think too much of it.