Texting than disappeared?

[Clamslammer]

When you guys make concrete plans to meet friends do you need to contact them the day of or keep in contact with them throughout the week to ensure your friend does not lose interest or forget your plans...I know I don't. If i make concrete plans with my friends they will show up otherwise they will let me know if anything changes out of respect for my time and me.

Same thing goes with women, make plans and get off the damn phone, she isnt your girlfriend. While making plans tell her if anything changes let you know otherwise you look forward to seeing her.

If a girl flakes on you then you need to raise your standards on the qaulity of women you are dating. OLD is a waste of time and does not have quality attractive women on it.

 

[R.U.G.]

She can hit you up. You're making excuses for the woman.

Women need to measure up. I don't confirm dates ever. If she wants to confirm, she will contact me before the date. Most of the time, this is exactly what happens. A woman who won't be where she says she will be is either irresponsible, low integrity, or never intended on going out with me to begin with. No amount of "confirmation" on my part will change that. In fact, I strongly argue that confirming makes you less likely to get the date. As explained above, you give her another chance to officially back out. I dare women to break the date. I won't help them do it.

For those who worry about being stood up, you're doing it wrong. If a date is a large inconvenience, you need to be double and triple booking your first dates (this entire debate is a non-issue after you've been out with a chick more than once). Best believe women are doing this to you.

Agreed. All the women always reach out to me to confirm. Shows interest. If they do not reach out and confirm, their interest is quite low. Also, shows hesitancy on the man's part looking for validation. I know it is hard, but try and NOT validate women at all.

The way I look at it is if she is not having fun while in the company of my extremely witty self, then I'm not having fun, and thus she is the wrong girl for me.

I do meet girls where her emotion/social intelligence is not quite there, and they don't get me fully. I don't desire to see them again. A girl needs to prove she can "hang" to keep my interest. Hence, just another reason to double- and triple-book with time slots.

In the last two weeks, I've been on dates where the woman just sat there and was silent. I used to try to make up things to talk about. Now, I just stare back and she'll usually smile and break the silence saying what are you looking at? I say your eyes. They remind me of the sky (if they are blue/green/hazel). Harder if they are brown or black. The other one was a second date and she was already asking about kids and how to decorate rooms for babies (next).

It's hard to find a woman who's emotional IQ is higher than a 4 year old. I say that's due to pop culture and an absentee parent. My ex-wife was the same way. Until separation, I didn't know her parents separated for two years when she was 6. The first woman, also was from a divorced home. I certainly see a difference between women who are from a divorced/broken home and a home where the parents stayed together.

You'd be surprised, but it makes a BIG difference on a person's emotional IQ.

 

[R.U.G.]

I’d say most women are conditioned to have the guy confirm the date. And if a man doesn’t confirm the date, he’s essentially not leading, in their mind. And she ends up confused. And for her as a woman whether she’s hot or not, it’s not a big deal for her to confirm or simply flake because of the vast amounts of options she has.

I can agree with many points you've made. However it all seems like it has to be very idyllic circumstances to have the woman dancing for the mans attention and it does add potential complications. I think women want to be lead at the end of the day, and confirming is doing exactly that, to a degree. And it lessens the confusion all around. Where is the issue with that? Why make a mountain out of a mole hill in regards to confirming?

If a woman is going to flake or be a head case, she’s going to do that with date confirmation or not. Confirming a date won’t break your image in her mind or deflate ones own self-image. And if it does; there’s so many more things wrong within that.

To me, whether I receive a confirmation or give just shows due diligence and clear communication and nothing else.

Sorry flow control, outside of TV and movies, I rarely hear of men confirming dates. Men's job is to plan for the date and set it up. Women's job is to show up and pretend to be interested.

When you guys make concrete plans to meet friends do you need to contact them the day of or keep in contact with them throughout the week to ensure your friend does not lose interest or forget your plans...I know I don't. If i make concrete plans with my friends they will show up otherwise they will let me know if anything changes out of respect for my time and me.

Same thing goes with women, make plans and get off the damn phone, she isnt your girlfriend. While making plans tell her if anything changes let you know otherwise you look forward to seeing her.

This dude speaks the truth.

 

[RickTheToad]

@flowtheory hijacked my thread.

 

[flowtheory]

@flowtheory hijacked my thread.

I thought that earlier.
However! it turned in to a solid discussion. The answers were already obtained to your predicament. So I felt it okay to pivot from your situation. But know this! Your situation was a knowledge generating catalyst which many more people here, including you and I are able to learn from. And I hope you can see that.

A lot of times in life someone poses something - in this case a question - and then someone can relate or brings about a relatable subject and greater knowledge can transpire to take place.
The point is: learning is going on and we both received answers to posed ‘puzzles’ and the greater good of the community shares even more wealth of knowledge because of what both you and I put forth.
Some veterans of the community chimed in and have posted within here; which deepens the learning curve even further. Whereas if left alone this thread may have drifted to page three already without their insight.

Most threads don’t end with the subject matter in which the question posed. They take on a life of their own; such is life. Let go of control, Toadman. It’s all positive, brother!

 

[flowtheory]

Sorry flow control, outside of TV and movies, I rarely hear of men confirming dates. Men's job is to plan for the date and set it up. Women's job is to show up and pretend to be interested.



This dude speaks the truth.

Okay well I have 4 dates this week. I’m not confirming any the day of. I’ll tell repost back and let everyone know how many walks I did, or did not go on alone haha!

 

[marmel75]

Okay well I have 4 dates this week. I’m not confirming any the day of. I’ll tell repost back and let everyone know how many walks I did, or did not go on alone haha!

If you are going ghost on them up til the date you won't be going on 4...maybe 2.

 

[flowtheory]

If you are going ghost on them up til the date you won't be going on 4...maybe 2.

Well we will see whose strategy is best.. I’ve never been stood up with confirming a date. But maybe their interest hasn’t been as strong because I did that?
We shall see what happens. Worst case scenario I go on 4 sunny walks by myself; Which I already do anyways.

 

[Clamslammer]

You guys contacting a girl to confirm a date subconsciously tells a girl this guy must get flaked on regularly and is not confident in himself. If you set a proper date with a girl and she is concerned that you will not show or does not know if the date is still on but really wants to see she will usually send a feeler text out to see if you respond because she is uncertain not you; for example, "hey I am running a little late as I have to feed my goat is it okay if we push back our meetup 30 min."

You guys need to get off online dating and ask women out in real life. Do you guys know how many women have never been asked out in person. When you confidently ask a women out in person that sh*t is powerful. You may get blown out and rejected but your confidence level will go through the roof and I guarantee the girl will be flattered and will look at you differently.

 

[flowtheory]

You guys contacting a girl to confirm a date subconsciously tells a girl this guy must get flaked on regularly and is not confident in himself. If you set a proper date with a girl and she is concerned that you will not show or does not know if the date is still on but really wants to see she will usually send a feeler text out to see if you respond because she is uncertain not you; for example, "hey I am running a little late as I have to feed my goat is it okay if we push back our meetup 30 min."

You guys need to get off online dating and ask women out in real life. Do you guys know how many women have never been asked out in person. When you confidently ask a women out in person that sh*t is powerful. You may get blown out and rejected but your confidence level will go through the roof and I guarantee the girl will be flattered and will look at you differently.

Yea I can agree with this

 

[RickTheToad]

You guys need to get off online dating and ask women out in real life. Do you guys know how many women have never been asked out in person. When you confidently ask a women out in person that sh*t is powerful. You may get blown out and rejected but your confidence level will go through the roof and I guarantee the girl will be flattered and will look at you differently.

I just cannot see walking up to a woman standing in line and say, let's get a drink. I'm in Hartford, you do that to the wrong woman, you can get beatdown or even shot if talking to a woman who's already with a man. The very jealous men can really be a problem. Cops will just arrest both these days and let us cool off in the cooler for a day. If it's the weekend, til Monday. Too hard to do nowadays.

 

[skinnyguy]

Confusion is good. Confusion is what makes women intrigued. They don't operate logically my friend.



You already led by making the date. It's not leading to "re-confirm" what you said. If anything, it's the opposite. Men do what they say. That's the number one leadership quality people look for in a man. "Is he a man of his word?"



Actually it does. You gave her an out. Why are you reconfirming what you already said you will do?

Picture this analogy. You break up with a woman and tell her you are done. Then after you don't hear from her, do you send another text to say, "I'm confirming we are done. We are done right?" There is no need for a man to ever re-affirm his own words. If you feel the need to, you aren't in your masculine. Women can sense this like a shark smells blood.



This whole discussion is about you initiating a text to re-confirm a date. There is nothing wrong with women reaching out to you. In fact, when you stay silent between setting the date and showing up, 90% of the dates that actually happen will have her sending you the "are we still on?" text. My only point was, you should get in the habit of doing exactly what you planned on doing regardless of if a woman shows up or not. Texting her to confirm your own date is weak. There's no other way to put it.

Women are dumb. If I confirm the date she will think I’m weak. If I don’t confirm and flake, she will think I’m a boss.

 

[Clamslammer]

I just cannot see walking up to a woman standing in line and say, let's get a drink. I'm in Hartford, you do that to the wrong woman, you can get beatdown or even shot if talking to a woman who's already with a man. The very jealous men can really be a problem. Cops will just arrest both these days and let us cool off in the cooler for a day. If it's the weekend, til Monday. Too hard to do nowadays.

Your mind set needs to be different, when you see that cute girl in line you arent just going to ask her out right away just because she is cute...a man with option will think yeah she is cute and I am attracted to her but what else does she offer. So the man with options will start a conversation about random bs that is going on at that time with the girl in line and probe her to see if she has the qualities he looks for in a women with qualifying questions to see if she has those qualities. If she wants to chat with you in line cool if not thats okay as well and you continue doing what you were doing and move forward. If your conversation with her goes well ask her out for a drink or coffee.

 

[marmel75]

I just cannot see walking up to a woman standing in line and say, let's get a drink. I'm in Hartford, you do that to the wrong woman, you can get beatdown or even shot if talking to a woman who's already with a man. The very jealous men can really be a problem. Cops will just arrest both these days and let us cool off in the cooler for a day. If it's the weekend, til Monday. Too hard to do nowadays.

You've got every excuse in the book. The only thing excuses help you do is build monuments of nothingness.

 

[RickTheToad]

You've got every excuse in the book. The only thing excuses help you do is build monuments of nothingness.

Doubtful, just logical. I do not see how this can work successfully at Walmart or grocery store. It's not practical.

 

[marmel75]

Doubtful, just logical. I do not see how this can work successfully at Walmart or grocery store. It's not practical.

Well, since you've got all the answers I have no idea why you need anyones help.

 

[MrWood]

I certainly see a difference between women who are from a divorced/broken home and a home where the parents stayed together.

huge

 

[flowtheory]

Doubtful, just logical. I do not see how this can work successfully at Walmart or grocery store. It's not practical.

To approach a woman? There’s so many opportunities to do this it will make your head spin the day you actually see it. Women are in abundance at the grocery store and it’s almost too easy to start a conversation.

Get it out of your head you’re going to get shot or beat up for approaching a woman because her man might be lurking around a corner.. like what?

 

[R.U.G.]

huge

Regretfully, it's becoming the norm. They do not know the way a normal relationship should work where BOTH people work together. A relationship cannot have two lone wolves forging their own path. This was covered recently by Dr. Jordan Peterson backed by research.

In other news, 20th century's original feminist, Jane Fonda, has given up on relationships and sex at 80 (https://www.aol.com/amp/2018/05/09/jane-fonda-80-is-done-with-sex-ive-closed-up-shop-down-there/).

 

[guru1000]

@flowtheory Make sure you report back in this thread for those dates you didn't confirm, went to the venue, and nobody showed. This way the men here can learn via empirical evidence in lieu of blog sites soliciting 'cartoon tactics.'