Squirrely behavior

[ItsFate451]

I’ve been dating this girl for a few weeks. Everything has been perfect so far. We would meet 1-2 times a week, go out and have fun and then hook up later.

Just recently she’s been acting a little squirrely. I responded to one of her text and she never answered. So I waited another week to contact her again asking how her weekend was.

This time she responded rather quickly telling me about her weekend and asking me about mine. I responded a couple hours later and used this opportunity to ask her out.

It took her 3 days to respond. But she told me she was free Saturday night and all day Sunday. I said let’s meet up on Sunday at 6. It has been a day and she hasn’t responded.

My question is how long should I wait? I’m giving her until Saturday morning to give me an answer and if she doesn’t, I’ll just cancel meeting up Sunday altogether. I’m don’t wanna pass something else up on Sunday waiting for her answer.

 

[lizardking82]

Squirrely behaviour -> take this b1tche's rank away.

She is acting unsure about whether she wants to give you *****, so you act unsure if you want to meet her. I would say just don't write to her anymore until she writes and asks you out on a date.

I am dealing with a similar situation, if you wanna call it that. Girl, 19 years old, 8+, a perfectly hot body and one of the prettiest possies I have ever seen, comes to my place, playfully resists sex and ends up almost "falling in love", she started resting on my chest and telling me things like "I feel this comfortable only on my brother's chest", and acting all sweet and sex was hot and all. Next day, meaning last night, talking with her at around lunch time, I tell her I will be at my place for about two hours before I head for a work meeting at around 5, she tell's me she can't got a work interview. OK, I say. Later on, at around 9 PM, I give her a call and she tells me she's heading home, but would like to stop by at my place. Fine, I tell her. One hour later she tells me she can't come cause bla bla bla some friend is leaving the country and they are getting together with the girls for a goodbye dinner. Alright, I tell her. Today morning she writes to me, I tell her I will be alone all day and during the night cause my roommate is off to his hometown. Two nights ago she told me "I can't wait to sleep with you the whole night, but tonight that I am available, she's got other things to do. At that moment, I layed off of it completely, she said "Meet you later in the afternoon", but here;s how and why I will treat her: I am not going to ask her once again at all to meet or come sleep or come at my place. She has continued her plans without thinking much about meeting me since the first night we met and I will be doing the same. I got another hot and sweet 35 year old woman coming to my place tonight, there be some dinner and some sex and music going on and that's cool.

This girl is hot and sex with her is good, but when they act uninterested, show 'em who's boss.

 

[ItsFate451]

Yea she’s testing you man! Trying to see how much you are willing to chase. Personally I would just go no contact until she reaches out again.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Sounds like she's spinning some plates and you are starting to become secondary, or she's using a system.

There's 99% no reason for lack of response over 24 hours other than game-playing or lack of interest.

Based on overall flakiness and lack of response to you, I would do the take-away right now (it's been a day since you invited her). Send her note today saying, "Hey seems like you're really busy this week so let's plan another time when things settle down on your end." Then don't ever reach out to her again. If she responds to you and says blah blah blah let's do Sunday night, I'd respond back with, "Hey, I made other plans for Sunday when I didn't hear from you but I'm free next _________ at 7pm." If she doesn't accept THAT day and time, I'd just next her. I will accept counter-offers from women who are interested in me but I won't accept them from women who are flaking.

She has you playing in her frame right now. Time to withdraw, return to your frame, and see if she's really interested or not.

 

[ItsFate451]

Sounds like she's spinning some plates and you are starting to become secondary, or she's using a system.

There's 99% no reason for lack of response over 24 hours other than game-playing or lack of interest.

Based on overall flakiness and lack of response to you, I would do the take-away right now (it's been a day since you invited her). Send her note today saying, "Hey seems like you're really busy this week so let's plan another time when things settle down on your end." Then don't ever reach out to her again. If she responds to you and says blah blah blah let's do Sunday night, I'd respond back with, "Hey, I made other plans for Sunday when I didn't hear from you but I'm free next _________ at 7pm." If she doesn't accept THAT day and time, I'd just next her. I will accept counter-offers from women who are interested in me but I won't accept them from women who are flaking.

She has you playing in her frame right now. Time to withdraw, return to your frame, and see if she's really interested or not.

I agree! I’m going to withdraw completely. If she reaches out before Sunday I’ll just tell her you took your time to answer so I made other plans. If she gets mad I’ll just say I’m not gonna put my life on hold waiting for you to answer. Let me know what other days work for you and we’ll figure something out.

 

[Spidah]

Once these bitches pick up on your patterns they start trying to f*ck with your head to get more power.

Don't reward this shyt. Bitches who won't get with your program get dropped.

I would ignore her ass and get more plates. Then maybe hit her up in a month to have sex.

You want to keep stress levels to a minimum with these hoes. They're not worth any heavy thinking.

 

[guru1000]

It took her 3 days to respond. But she told me she was free Saturday night and all day Sunday. I said let’s meet up on Sunday at 6. It has been a day and she hasn’t responded.

The medium is the message.

No response within a reasonable time frame, which, I agree with oldmanofthesea, is 24 hours, Silence and Distance.

No counter-offer with a specific day, Silence and Distance.

Any response other than a yes to your date offer, Silence and Distance.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

If she reaches out before Sunday I’ll just tell her you took your time to answer so I made other plans. If she gets mad I’ll just say I’m not gonna put my life on hold waiting for you to answer. Let me know what other days work for you and we’ll figure something out.

If you tell her, "you took your time to answer so I....." you are admitting that she upset you and you are admitting that you are playing in her frame: YOU did X so I did Y. Never do that. You do what you do because you want to do it, not because she did or didn't do something (even if it's not fully true - yet, but you can aspire to be that way and one day you will). You have multiple offers from friends and other girls to hang out and without giving it a lot of thought, you accept what comes your way because you wanted to. For all she knows, you had 4 lines out in the water and something nice bit on one of them so you turned your attention there without even thinking or remembering the other lines. You have so many options on things to do that you don't even have time to notice or remember the people who didn't get back to you or took too long to respond.

Same goes for saying you aren't putting your life on hold waiting for her to answer. You don't have to SAY that, and saying it will make you sound butt-hurt. You are too busy, successful, and popular to even be thinking about it like that. You say it through silence and distance.

Also wouldn't put the offer out there for her to let you know what other days work because you are once again putting it in her frame and covertly saying (without realizing it) that you are quite open and will adjust your schedule around hers. Again, for a girl that's been good and is interested, I'm happy to be flexible. But for a girl who is flaking, absolutely not. I give her a date and it has to be that date. I'm a busy guy.

If she gets bitchy and whines/complains/criticizes - respond with silence and distance.

 

[ItsFate451]

If you tell her, "you took your time to answer so I....." you are admitting that she upset you and you are admitting that you are playing in her frame: YOU did X so I did Y. Never do that. You do what you do because you want to do it, not because she did or didn't do something (even if it's not fully true - yet, but you can aspire to be that way and one day you will). You have multiple offers from friends and other girls to hang out and without giving it a lot of thought, you accept what comes your way because you wanted to. For all she knows, you had 4 lines out in the water and something nice bit on one of them so you turned your attention there without even thinking or remembering the other lines. You have so many options on things to do that you don't even have time to notice or remember the people who didn't get back to you or took too long to respond.

Same goes for saying you aren't putting your life on hold waiting for her to answer. You don't have to SAY that, and saying it will make you sound butt-hurt. You are too busy, successful, and popular to even be thinking about it like that. You say it through silence and distance.

Also wouldn't put the offer out there for her to let you know what other days work because you are once again putting it in her frame and covertly saying (without realizing it) that you are quite open and will adjust your schedule around hers. Again, for a girl that's been good and is interested, I'm happy to be flexible. But for a girl who is flaking, absolutely not. I give her a date and it has to be that date. I'm a busy guy.

If she gets bitchy and whines/complains/criticizes - respond with silence and distance.

So if she responds before Sunday agreeing to meet, tell her other plans came up or strictly ignore?

 

[BeExcellent]

I agree with Silence & Distance. You withdraw your attention so as not to reward bad behavior. If you say anything at all you are investing in her opinion and giving her emotional bandwidth. Right now she warrants neither.

Let her reach out to you at this point. If you decide to wait until say next week sometime and contact her again, that's up to you (you are still the man and it's the man's job to reach out if he is interested) then you go by her response at that time. But if you were to do that and you get anything less than a prompt and receptive response, then she isn't interested enough for you to give her your time.

That does you the favor of showing you that you are better off moving on to someone else.

 

[BeExcellent]

So if she responds before Sunday agreeing to meet, tell her other plans came up or strictly ignore?

If she reaches out say something like "I'm going to Joe's Dive Bar on Saturday to see a band. Join me around 8" or something like that (insert whatever you are doing). In other words you include her (if you choose) in whatever you were already planning to do regardless of whether she is there. You let her confirm her interest by showing up to meet you.

That's how you handle someone who hasn't bothered to respond. You give them the opportunity to come to you, and then you see whether or not they do.

Pay attention to actions. Actions always tell the story.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

So if she responds before Sunday agreeing to meet, tell her other plans came up or strictly ignore?

At this point it's probably best to just ignore. If you don't hear anything by the end of next week, hard next. If she responds between now and Sunday, ignore, then if are still interested in seeing her, message her late next week, don't bring up the weekend or who sent or didn't send what etc, and just ask her out on a specific date/time like, "Hey how's it going? Let's go out next Tuesday night at 7pm." etc. She accepts it or she doesn't and if she doesn't, hard next.

 

[guru1000]

A lot of guys misunderstand that the goal is not to get the girl on a date. What good is a date if the girl is operating outside of your frame and does not respect you?

Maybe she will get in touch with you as her other plans fell through or flaked on her, and you are her last choice, and so she texts you back four days later. Is this the type of date you desire, respect you command, and frame you wish to operate in?

The goal is to Govern the Frame in any interaction or distance yourself from it. Your Silence and Distance will either bring her back to your frame--or--remove you from an undesired frame.

Frame > Date

Whenever in doubt remember this syllogism.

 

[marmel75]

It means other guys are in the picture that she is more interested in and is likely seeing if one of them offers to make plans before accepting or declining your offer.

You can either accept this and basically be the dude who sees her when she has nothing better to do or you can start finding women with higher interest levels to spend time with and then let her come to you.

You arent going to "teach her any lessons" by acting a certain way or "make her chase you" most likely...she just doesnt care about seeing you enough to do that. It would be like telling someone who has 5 better job offers in their mind that pay more and that they think they will like better that they are going to lose this job if they dont start acting better...they'd be like "Who cares? I'm leaving anyway."

As an aside the first thing you should be doing after going on a first date is setting up at least 2 other dates with different women.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It means other guys are in the picture that she is more interested in and is likely seeing if one of them offers to make plans before accepting or declining your offer.

You can either accept this and basically be the dude who sees her when she has nothing better to do or you can start finding women with higher interest levels to spend time with and then let her come to you.

You arent going to "teach her any lessons" by acting a certain way or "make her chase you" most likely...she just doesnt care about seeing you enough to do that. It would be like telling someone who has 5 better job offers in their mind that pay more and that they think they will like better that they are going to lose this job if they dont start acting better...they'd be like "Who cares? I'm leaving anyway."

As an aside the first thing you should be doing after going on a first date is setting up at least 2 other dates with different women.

Very "wise" . The guys aren't necessarily "better" on paper but she desires them much more . It's not always other guys it could be hanging with her GFS . The point is it doesn't matter. We shouldn't waste time on a lady who doesn't bring value into our life and is not enthusiastic about being around us. There is nothing to figure out .