Making Progress2

[Scuba Steve]

Gentlemen,

First let me say that I appreciate all of you who have offered up advice on my previous posts. It seems many of the same people reviewed and commented on my previous posts "Making progress" and "Getting over an ex."

Not to be redundant, but briefly, for those who have never read these posts, my situation is this. I am a 45 year old man who is in the process of a divorce from a woman that I was married to for 21 years. Two kids, 20 (girl) & 16 (boy). Separated since December 2017. Major problems with two prior separations last 4 years.

Met with soon to be ex-wife yesterday. She confirmed face-to-face no love there anymore. No chance of reconciliation. Knew it, but needed to hear it directly. Don't ask me why. Hurt like hell, but it is what it is.

My progress thus far:

December 1st, 2017: I weighed 248 lbs. I now weigh 203. I have cut all carbs. East healthy (Almost Keto). Work out Monday thru Saturday. Take Sundays off for rest. Went from size 42 pants (snug) to size 38 (loose) Starting to look good and feel even better. Roughly 25 more lbs to go, depending on muscle gains. Going more with how clothes fit and appearance then actual weight.

Buy roughly 50 - 75 dollars worth of new clothes every pay period. Throwing out the majority of old sh*t.

Picked up contact lenses today. Never had before. No more glasses in public. Look and feel better about myself already.

Not ready for a new girl, BUT starting to practice. So;

Made one cold approach last week on 25 year old (See prior post). Lots of flirting, couldn't close. (1st approach in 21 years, so I was happy just making the approach). Plenty of advice from you guys. Again appreciate it.

Last night at gym, saw this same girl. She approached me after a I smiled and kinda blew her off. Wasn't gonna chase. She remembered my name and initiated conversation. Small talk was made. Stated that the guy she is "talking to" isn't "all that." I asked for her number, she didn't say no but kind of hesitated. So I said, "You know what, take my number and if you want to go out shoot me a text or call me." I watched her put my number in her phone under my name.

??? Any opinions on that approach to number exchange ???

Any other advice for moving on would be appreciated also.

Be well everyone...

 

[Serenity]

I asked for her number, she didn't say no but kind of hesitated.

You are old enough to be her father, that's probably why she's hesitant.

??? Any opinions on that approach to number exchange ???

Well, it's better than no number exchange. Might work sometimes, but in this instance she was hesitant to hand her number to you, I don't think the bar is lower to send you a text. Nothing will probably come from this, but as I said it will work once in a while if the better option is unavailable.

You might take her statement about that other guy to indicate she's interested in you just because she mentioned that about him. Don't overlook the negative signs and get your hopes up though. Paying attention to both what you want to see and what you don't want to see gives you more balanced expectations, could save you some time.

 

[Scuba Steve]

You are old enough to be her father, that's probably why she's hesitant.


Well, it's better than no number exchange. Might work sometimes, but in this instance she was hesitant to hand her number to you, I don't think the bar is lower to send you a text. Nothing will probably come from this, but as I said it will work once in a while if the better option is unavailable.

You might take her statement about that other guy to indicate she's interested in you just because she mentioned that about him. Don't overlook the negative signs and get your hopes up though. Paying attention to both what you want to see and what you don't want to see gives you more balanced expectations, could save you some time.

Yea, I'm basically practicing... Not to say I wouldn't f her, but no hopes aren't up... I am not going to pursue further, unless she initiates again...

 

[wifehunter]

Fukk that!!! Let THEM ask YOU for YOUR number! Till then, keep making progress, keep moving forward!!!

 

[oldmanofthesea]

First of all, congrats on the progress you are making!

I never give a girl my number. It puts them in the driver's seat and has you waiting around wondering. Girls can't say no, so taking your number is their way of saying no. You have to look at their actions, not listen to their words. Anything other than her giving you her number is a no. If she was TRULY interested in you, at a level that is high enough that it could actually turn into something, then she will give you her number. Otherwise, if you give her your number and she actually does call you at some point, there is a high chance she is just bored and looking to be entertained and admired - it will never go anywhere despite you investing your time and money on her.

As for advice moving on, I divorced two years ago and still have somewhat of a soft spot for my ex, but after reading the red pill, the DJ bible, Doc Love and other stuff like that, I'm realizing just how sh*tty my ex was which is making it a lot easier to be over her. I had s*x with a number of girls after my divorce, some of them quite cute, but none of them I developed feelings for because they didn't have anything other than beauty to admire. Unfortunately, that didn't work to help me forget about my ex. It wasn't until I started dating and sleeping with a cute girl who I admired and developed feelings for that I got over my ex. Took me a year and a half to find her after my divorce, but then she dumped me after two months. So now I'm over my ex, but heartbroken over this other girl. Pick your poison! Bottom line: Once you meet a girl you actually have feelings for and sleep with, you'll get over your ex. The problem is, your feelings may be so powerful because it's such an amazing experience to find someone who is everything your ex wasn't, and to feel all the emotions that go along with it, that you start getting needy and clingy and pay her too much attention. She loses interest and dumps you because you aren't a challenge. This is why guys here say to always spin a few plates - it helps you avoid focusing too much on one girl, and it also helps protect you from getting hurt. Don't get emotionally invested in a girl until you've been dating 6 months. You can drop the other plates at that time if you really want to, but just be really sure.

 

[Red Legg]

Last night at gym, saw this same girl. She approached me after a I smiled and kinda blew her off. Wasn't gonna chase. She remembered my name and initiated conversation. Small talk was made. Stated that the guy she is "talking to" isn't "all that." I asked for her number, she didn't say no but kind of hesitated. So I said, "You know what, take my number and if you want to go out shoot me a text or call me." I watched her put my number in her phone under my name.

I am close to your age (46) so I will opine.Whenever I am cold approaching younger women I always play the" daddy card".When you saw she was hesitant about giving you her number you should have said "give it to daddy or I will spank your azz lil girl" she just needs a daddy..don't blow it next time.

 

[Spaz]

On top of what u r doing now, you'll need a full social calender, actively seek invites to weddings, parties, any sort of gatherings.

Let younger women approach you in those settings, they will, they always do. In those settings you must always remain popular with other men 1st, then women will follow through. And once you have social prove, the rest is easy.

 

[MrWood]

MrWoods random tip #657
If in making a point with a woman, and she says "your right", she is yours.

 

[Masculinity]

Gentlemen,

First let me say that I appreciate all of you who have offered up advice on my previous posts. It seems many of the same people reviewed and commented on my previous posts "Making progress" and "Getting over an ex."

Not to be redundant, but briefly, for those who have never read these posts, my situation is this. I am a 45 year old man who is in the process of a divorce from a woman that I was married to for 21 years. Two kids, 20 (girl) & 16 (boy). Separated since December 2017. Major problems with two prior separations last 4 years.

Met with soon to be ex-wife yesterday. She confirmed face-to-face no love there anymore. No chance of reconciliation. Knew it, but needed to hear it directly. Don't ask me why. Hurt like hell, but it is what it is.

My progress thus far:

December 1st, 2017: I weighed 248 lbs. I now weigh 203. I have cut all carbs. East healthy (Almost Keto). Work out Monday thru Saturday. Take Sundays off for rest. Went from size 42 pants (snug) to size 38 (loose) Starting to look good and feel even better. Roughly 25 more lbs to go, depending on muscle gains. Going more with how clothes fit and appearance then actual weight.

Buy roughly 50 - 75 dollars worth of new clothes every pay period. Throwing out the majority of old sh*t.

Picked up contact lenses today. Never had before. No more glasses in public. Look and feel better about myself already.

Not ready for a new girl, BUT starting to practice. So;

Made one cold approach last week on 25 year old (See prior post). Lots of flirting, couldn't close. (1st approach in 21 years, so I was happy just making the approach). Plenty of advice from you guys. Again appreciate it.

Last night at gym, saw this same girl. She approached me after a I smiled and kinda blew her off. Wasn't gonna chase. She remembered my name and initiated conversation. Small talk was made. Stated that the guy she is "talking to" isn't "all that." I asked for her number, she didn't say no but kind of hesitated. So I said, "You know what, take my number and if you want to go out shoot me a text or call me." I watched her put my number in her phone under my name.

??? Any opinions on that approach to number exchange ???

Any other advice for moving on would be appreciated also.

Be well everyone...

Why didn't you just call yourself from her phone? Why the hesitation in getting this girl's number?