Tinder date in the works

[RichardTheFrog]

Now I know she hasn't shown up yet, but I already have a match that is interested enough to text me upon request.

My concerns: My vehicle is a POS. Old pickup with no a/c. I'm not a successful house flipper yet. I don't make an impressive amount per year at the moment.

I doubt she will Google the cyberstalking thing, and there's nothing I can do if she does.

But more importantly, I kind of already know that this will result in boring small talk. That's what happened on the last date I went on. I don't know how to break out of this. Call it a "sticking point" if you want. I even went to a strip club a few nights ago, and this happened with all the strippers that came and talked to me.

Maybe I should give her a lot of compliments?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/kb3o33xgr21d4jb/Screenshot_2018-04-01-23-49-55.png?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/5ldjyjpmwf1c1n7/Screenshot_2018-04-01-23-53-42.png?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/42kx0bqegio2qgf/XCamera-20180401_234921.jpg?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/c4iol923gbe0eiy/XCamera-20180401_235429.jpg?dl=0

I know my profile could definitely use some updating. But not sure what to put quite yet.

^
@guru1000

 

[CBear]

Now I know she hasn't shown up yet, but I already have a match that is interested enough to text me upon request.

My concerns: My vehicle is a POS. Old pickup with no a/c. I'm not a successful house flipper yet. I don't make an impressive amount per year at the moment.

I doubt she will Google the cyberstalking thing, and there's nothing I can do if she does.

But more importantly, I kind of already know that this will result in boring small talk. That's what happened on the last date I went on. I don't know how to break out of this. Call it a "sticking point" if you want. I even went to a strip club a few nights ago, and this happened with all the strippers that came and talked to me.

Maybe I should give her a lot of compliments?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/kb3o33xgr21d4jb/Screenshot_2018-04-01-23-49-55.png?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/5ldjyjpmwf1c1n7/Screenshot_2018-04-01-23-53-42.png?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/42kx0bqegio2qgf/XCamera-20180401_234921.jpg?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/c4iol923gbe0eiy/XCamera-20180401_235429.jpg?dl=0

I know my profile could definitely use some updating. But not sure what to put quite yet.

^
@guru1000

My only advice is don't worry about the concerns you highlighted, there's a lot of guys way worse off than you... + if you do worry, it'll show.

I think, it was the book "Models" where the author said that you shouldn't focus on impressing a chick on a date, rather, your mindset should be "I hope she's a cool and interesting person". If all goes, well, good. If not, her loss. That's how I see it anyways.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

My only advice is don't worry about the concerns you highlighted, there's a lot of guys way worse off than you... + if you do worry, it'll show.

I think, it was the book "Models" where the author said that you shouldn't focus on impressing a chick on a date, rather, your mindset should be "I hope she's a cool and interesting person". If all goes, well, good. If not, her loss. That's how I see it anyways.

I see your point, but the "boring conversation" thing has been a sticking point of mine ever since I learned how to talk 3 weeks ago.

 

[CBear]

I see your point, but the "boring conversation" thing has been a sticking point of mine ever since I learned how to talk 3 weeks ago.

Idk how you normally maintain conversations but you have to display an easygoing personality. Many girls are afraid to talk to you when they first meet you, so you have to make them COMFORTABLE around you. Eventually, they'll be less and less quiet and make it easier. Focus on them, I believe you must do 20-30% of the talking and they do 70% or 80%, meaning you ask them questions about themselves and they do most of the talking.

 

[user43770]

Don't compliment her too much. I'd probably tell her "well, don't you look sexy" as soon as we meet, but after that, keep the compliments to a minimum.

Ask her questions and keep her talking. Ideally, you'll come up with funny ways to bust on her as she blabbers on and on. Touch her knee playfully. Lightly grab her wrist when you're saying something with substance. If she responds in a good way, let your manhood take over.

 

[Mike32ct]

At a bare minimum, try to enjoy the conversation. Maybe have the mindset that, “I just finished working for today, and I want to enjoy my beer and unwind. You seem like a cool person to talk to and unwind with.”

Most people talk about pointless BS stuff when doing small talk. But that’s ok. It’s just about connecting with people, not analyzing an electrical circuit. (I’m still getting used to this “small talk” thing myself.)

I totally get that you are more serious guy in person. But it’s actually possible (though not necessarily ideal) to “game” in a serious or even dry manner. But you have to be really chill and try to enjoy the back and forth of the interaction.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

At a bare minimum, try to enjoy the conversation. Maybe have the mindset that, “I just finished working for today, and I want to enjoy my beer and unwind. You seem like a cool person to talk to and unwind with.”

Most people talk about pointless BS stuff when doing small talk. But that’s ok. It’s just about connecting with people, not analyzing an electrical circuit. (I’m still getting used to this “small talk” thing myself.)

I totally get that you are more serious guy in person. But it’s actually possible (though not necessarily ideal) to “game” in a serious or even dry manner. But you have to be really chill and try to enjoy the back and forth of the interaction.

I wonder if I should take her somewhere upscale. I'm thinking I should.

 

[ohrein]

You're way too available. "I'm free any night this week"? You may as well have said I have no life and I know we just met but you're the only interesting thing happening to me this week. Also, opening with "Hey wanna go out?" is in a similar vein. You didn't even try to screen her before giving your number out. Thirsty indeed. You gotta make women earn your time from the get go. Not overtly, but you should be thinking "Is this woman worthy of my number or my precious night out for a date." from the very start. Make her qualify herself a little, not because it's "game" (although it is) but because you should actually care!

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, I am trying to be constructive.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

You're way too available. "I'm free any night this week"? You may as well have said I have no life and I know we just met but you're the only interesting thing happening to me this week. Also, opening with "Hey wanna go out?" is in a similar vein. You didn't even try to screen her before giving your number out. Thirsty indeed. You gotta make women earn your time from the get go. Not overtly, but you should be thinking "Is this woman worthy of my number or my precious night out for a date." from the very start. Make her qualify herself a little, not because it's "game" (although it is) but because you should actually care!

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, I am trying to be constructive.

Isn't that just needless games? I do have other interesting things going on, but that doesn't mean I don't have time for this.

Do you have any picture proof that I should take your advice seriously?

 

[ohrein]

Isn't that just needless games? I do have other interesting things going on, but that doesn't mean I don't have time for this.

Do you have any picture proof that I should take your advice seriously?

No, it's not games. You should actually care who you go on a date with. It's also important you understand all the things you are communicating to a woman during an interaction. In this case it's what she's reading between the lines, sometimes consciously. I don't know how you're free any night in a week if you have other stuff going on. I mean I work during the day but I always have at least one night booked with the boys or my best mate each week. Usually more than that. I'm not available "any night" for my girlfriend of six months!

Picture proof? Like what? I'm describing fairly high level subconscious concepts, not simple tricks. Have you read the bible? It's not a way out there concept I've pulled from thin air. But if you doubt my advice that's fine. Test things yourself and see if it works out. Update us with how the date went if she doesn't flake....

 

[RichardTheFrog]

No, it's not games. You should actually care who you go on a date with. It's also important you understand all the things you are communicating to a woman during an interaction. In this case it's what she's reading between the lines, sometimes consciously. I don't know how you're free any night in a week if you have other stuff going on. I mean I work during the day but I always have at least one night booked with the boys or my best mate each week. Usually more than that. I'm not available "any night" for my girlfriend of six months!

Picture proof? Like what? I'm describing fairly high level subconscious concepts, not simple tricks. Have you read the bible? It's not a way out there concept I've pulled from thin air. But if you doubt my advice that's fine. Test things yourself and see if it works out. Update us with how the date went if she doesn't flake....

I meant picture proof of girls obviously.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

You're way too available. "I'm free any night this week"? You may as well have said I have no life and I know we just met but you're the only interesting thing happening to me this week. Also, opening with "Hey wanna go out?" is in a similar vein. You didn't even try to screen her before giving your number out. Thirsty indeed. You gotta make women earn your time from the get go. Not overtly, but you should be thinking "Is this woman worthy of my number or my precious night out for a date." from the very start. Make her qualify herself a little, not because it's "game" (although it is) but because you should actually care!

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, I am trying to be constructive.

So can you suggest a better opening line?

 

[RichardTheFrog]

No, it's not games. You should actually care who you go on a date with. It's also important you understand all the things you are communicating to a woman during an interaction. In this case it's what she's reading between the lines, sometimes consciously. I don't know how you're free any night in a week if you have other stuff going on. I mean I work during the day but I always have at least one night booked with the boys or my best mate each week. Usually more than that. I'm not available "any night" for my girlfriend of six months!

Picture proof? Like what? I'm describing fairly high level subconscious concepts, not simple tricks. Have you read the bible? It's not a way out there concept I've pulled from thin air. But if you doubt my advice that's fine. Test things yourself and see if it works out. Update us with how the date went if she doesn't flake....

Because I work during the day. And go out at night? Idk. I don't have time for best buds and all that. I'd rather hang out with a girl, even if it's a prostitute.

 

[ohrein]

I meant picture proof of girls obviously.

Definitely not doxxing my gf. But no, I'm not gonna post pictures. I don't see how they're even remotely hard to fake either.

So can you suggest a better opening line?

I did a couple of years of online dating without any advice and learned for myself. I really wish I'd just read advice because I basically came to the same conclusion as most guys. The best opening is a question or statement about something interesting in a photo or their bio. As an addition, the best first date is a casual drink at a quiet bar you can talk at.

Because I work during the day. And go out at night? Idk. I don't have time for best buds and all that. I'd rather hang out with a girl, even if it's a prostitute.

Fair enough, no judgement man. I mean you should be your most honest self. If you really want her to know that you're free every night or don't think you should care about telling her that then keep doing it. I think it sends a message and it's not like you're revamping your personality by avoiding that statement. Asking her when she's free for example side steps that topic.

 

[sosousage]

Now I know she hasn't shown up yet, but I already have a match that is interested enough to text me upon request.

My concerns: My vehicle is a POS. Old pickup with no a/c. I'm not a successful house flipper yet. I don't make an impressive amount per year at the moment.

I doubt she will Google the cyberstalking thing, and there's nothing I can do if she does.

But more importantly, I kind of already know that this will result in boring small talk. That's what happened on the last date I went on. I don't know how to break out of this. Call it a "sticking point" if you want. I even went to a strip club a few nights ago, and this happened with all the strippers that came and talked to me.

Maybe I should give her a lot of compliments?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/kb3o33xgr21d4jb/Screenshot_2018-04-01-23-49-55.png?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/5ldjyjpmwf1c1n7/Screenshot_2018-04-01-23-53-42.png?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/42kx0bqegio2qgf/XCamera-20180401_234921.jpg?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/c4iol923gbe0eiy/XCamera-20180401_235429.jpg?dl=0

I know my profile could definitely use some updating. But not sure what to put quite yet.

^
@guru1000

lol you said girls i pasted pics of are ugly and you date some fat ass

 

[RichardTheFrog]

lol you said girls i pasted pics of are ugly and you date some fat ass

I've gotten better looking matches since then. I just did it because I was challenged to meet with someone within 3 weeks.

 

[sosousage]

I've gotten better looking matches since then. I just did it because I was challenged to meet with someone within 3 weeks.

I think you will get crushed mentally by your tinder dates simply because you will look worse than on pics.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I think you will get crushed mentally by your tinder dates simply because you will look worse than on pics.

But I got a lot even with the original pics.

Plus, I think adding muscle would help more than touching up a face.

 

[djthiago1]

"Maybe I should give her a lot of compliments?"

I literally gave you one of the best materials on dating via PM and then you post here saying those words.

Sorry to say, you're UNFIXABLE.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

"Maybe I should give her a lot of compliments?"

I literally gave you one of the best materials on dating via PM and then you post here saying those words.

Sorry to say, you're UNFIXABLE.

I have never received a PM from you. I just checked.