What happened to me, man? Life Story Reflections

[nicksaiz65]

Sorry for another one of these, guys, but I've gotta keep doing this self reflection. It'll help me get my inner game to the point where it needs to be.

So looking back over my high school years, I was your classic nerd. I managed to develop some degree of social skills, but I was still lacking.

My first semester of college, I wanted to do everything that I possibly could to change this nerd identity. So I went nuts on everything. Alcohol, weed, girls, you name it. What motivated me in my academics was a desire to prove those who told me I'd never make it in Computer Science wrong. I worked extremely hard, and I busted out a 3.6 GPA.

But after that, I became incredibly lazy. My grades since then just have not been good after that. Like at all. Failing courses multiple times. Lost all my ethos as a smart kid, especially with the teachers and my parents. Just being plain unreliable and irresponsible. What happened?

I'm thinking the issue is that I lacked a core identity and I didn't know what I wanted to do in life so I became really lazy. I was trying to change my personality so much, that I had no idea who I was. I say that because after I rediscovered the Don Juan website, everything just kinda clicked in life for me. I was able to start getting with girls that I had wanted for a long time, and I've been extremely motivated school wise. I've got a purpose in life, I'm like "I have to do this stuff like studying or I won't be a Don Juan." A Don Juan is successful in his world AND with women right? Rereading the DJ Bible is probably one of the best things I could've done. Kinda like Pook said, I was looking for love but I found life.

So I still ain't shyt yet. I'm working hard on both my inner and outer game, especially with just getting my life together in general. Actually giving myself video game breaks instead of trying to go hard 24/7. And I feel like I'm doing way better. I'm trying to treat life like a job. I feel like I'm finally mature and I see the world for what it really is, from the nerdy stuff to the truth of hypergamy. Especially with what I've been doing wrong all these years. I only hope my grades can be halfway decent this semester because I didn't have this realization until halfway through the semester. I want to be a mix of the social capabilities of Don Juan, the ambition and work ethic of a nerd, and not have to act super hood or ghetto just because I'm black. I miss making 4.0s, man. I love video games, playing my violin, programming for fun, and listening to classical music or EDM while I'm doing some challenging work. I gotta get back to that, and I've got to be successful in my career too. I actually like being a nerd! I just wanna be the type of nerd that women love.

But yeah, I'm moving forward with the identity of 'Don Juan', trying to fix my life and become the ultimate at what I do. I feel like I'm finally able to do what I need to do now. Send me replies, let me know what you all think. I'd definitely appreciate it.

 

[Spaz]

Stop fixating over women.

There's already a long list of women in your life; you mother, sisters, aunts, female friends. So adding a lover into that list is not a problem nor is it a special occasion.

All those women in the list is merely there to enhance your life. They are not your life.

Your life belongs to you and it's best served when you do your utmost to improve every aspects of it.

 

[logicallefty]

Stop fixating over women.

There's already a long list of women in your life; you mother, sisters, aunts, female friends. So adding a lover into that list is not a problem nor is it a special occasion.

All those women in the list is merely there to enhance your life. They are not your life.

Your life belongs to you and it's best served when you do your utmost to improve every aspects of it.

And to add to this^, don't automatically give ANY woman automatic trust just because she is a mother, sister, aunt, female friend, grandma, etc. In most cases than not women such as this DO enhance your life, but do not automatically assume they have your best interest at heart and if your gut does say something is wrong, do not ignore it.

I have had my mother feed my head with blue pill propaganda and caught her in some serious lies in the past year or two. I have had one sister completely disrespect me so bad that I don't even want to start talking about it or by blood will start to boil. I have had the other sister who is a social worker give me advice that completely made me wonder how the he|| she ever got licensed to sell her services to anyone and why any human being with a drop of common sense would pay for such advice that is so screwed up.

I find that on any given day the fewer women I have to interact with for ANYTHING, the better day it is. I still love my mother and one of my sisters (the social worker) and still talk to them. It's just minimal. The other sister is already dead to me.

 

[Papa_smu]

@nicksaiz65 This is quite normal when you're at this stage in your life. You're making some big changes in areas of your life that are very much different to your old self. Of course, you're going to have some conflicts with your identity.

Putting yourself out there socially and being outside your comfort zone is challenging and most guys aren't willing to do it. This is because it doesn't get any easier.

You'll hit some pretty bogus, long losing streaks as you keep going out to cold approach women. Those chicks who you thought were digging you at the coffeehouse or during homecoming will hand you fake numbers, and it'd be like the 30th one too. It will get so bad, that you'll get kicked out of the club because some girl you approached thought you were a creep, and there's no reason to even think so.

However, all it takes is that one success with that awesome chick. That's when you figure out what works and all the sudden those thoughts and feelings of not pulling off the impossible are completely killed off.

Everything else in life is pretty much the same:

Programming will get harder but the money will be awesome
Frustration will set in because you can't pull off some particular piece of music with a violin to save your life, but people will still clap for scores you could do in your sleep
You'll bash your fist on the table because you've been on twenty interviews and all them for whatever reason, you didn't get selected. Yet, you'll know how to do better on the twenty-first interview.

To summarize, one can say "I'm not there yet" however, they can also fall into the trap of getting comfortable. Things get harder as the months go by, especially game. Be prepared for the deep valleys on the s-curve of mastery.

 

[nicksaiz65]

@nicksaiz65 This is quite normal when you're at this stage in your life. You're making some big changes in areas of your life that are very much different to your old self. Of course, you're going to have some conflicts with your identity.

Putting yourself out there socially and being outside your comfort zone is challenging and most guys aren't willing to do it. This is because it doesn't get any easier.

You'll hit some pretty bogus, long losing streaks as you keep going out to cold approach women. Those chicks who you thought were digging you at the coffeehouse or during homecoming will hand you fake numbers, and it'd be like the 30th one too. It will get so bad, that you'll get kicked out of the club because some girl you approached thought you were a creep, and there's no reason to even think so.

However, all it takes is that one success with that awesome chick. That's when you figure out what works and all the sudden those thoughts and feelings of not pulling off the impossible are completely killed off.

Everything else in life is pretty much the same:

Programming will get harder but the money will be awesome
Frustration will set in because you can't pull off some particular piece of music with a violin to save your life, but people will still clap for scores you could do in your sleep
You'll bash your fist on the table because you've been on twenty interviews and all them for whatever reason, you didn't get selected. Yet, you'll know how to do better on the twenty-first interview.

To summarize, one can say "I'm not there yet" however, they can also fall into the trap of getting comfortable. Things get harder as the months go by, especially game. Be prepared for the deep valleys on the s-curve of mastery.

For sure. Thanks for the reply!