Do you think women who are victims of domestic abuse deserve it because they went for bad boys?

[MatureDJ]

I was reading about this baseball player that beat up his woman, and it got me thinking:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entr...eating-girlfriend_us_5aaa8826e4b0d28151d2911d

I don't have much sympathy for these women. I'm sure that they had their opportunities with "nice men", but they chose the "bad boy" instead. Heck, even after getting beaten, they probably get sexually excited as they have gotten proof that they have a bad boy.

 

[Spaz]

No one should beat women up.

However I do "punish" women by whacking their sexy @ss.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

No one should beat women up

Why not?

Other than not wanting to go to jail.

 

[Spaz]

Why not?

Other than not wanting to go to jail.

It's because women cant compete with me physically and obviously I'd win.

Basically I don't fight anyone weaker then me. The more stronger they are physically the better.

 

[zekko]

I've always said that women who date bad boys deserve what they get.
Not that I'm in favor of them getting beat up, but some just insist on putting themselves in that position.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Do men who get stabbed or beaten by their partners deserve it because they went for a "bad girl"? No...you can't extrapolate blame to the victim because their partner is a horrible human being. The blame is squarely on the abuser, at least up until the partner gets the chance to leave safely.

If you told any woman that her partner was going to beat the s*** out of her before they went out, I can pretty much guarantee that 99.9% wouldn't go out with the guy.

Domestic abuse is particularly insidious and complex because abusers are normally psychopaths or possess a profound lack of empathy. This makes them very good at manipulating others because they have spent their whole lives faking emotion themselves and know how to control it in others. They'll start off as a confident, fun "bad" boy who actually seems pretty cool and then slowly morph into a sadistic pr*ck once they've established a warped trust and a dependency.

In prolonged abusive relationships, it can be extremely frustrating when the victim doesn't leave the relationship, though. This is more common with women, because they are more dependent on their partner normally.

I've had discussions with a girl who would argue with me that her BF was amazing, loved her etc. even though one month back she was telling me he's a sociopath and has done everything except violence to her (including borderline sexual abuse). Eventually I got fed up with hearing her flip-flop back and forth impotently because the guy was an outright piece of s**t.

At the same time though, I still feel sorry for her because he's f*cked her head up to the extent she can't make rational decisions about him anymore.

It's like torture: you torture anyone long enough and they'll break, no matter how tough they are. Domestic abuse is basically a slow, subtle process of breaking someone's self esteem and breaking them down that's very similar...you can't really blame the victim for being tricked into that situation.

 

[AJ84]

I was reading about this baseball player that beat up his woman, and it got me thinking:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entr...eating-girlfriend_us_5aaa8826e4b0d28151d2911d

I don't have much sympathy for these women. I'm sure that they had their opportunities with "nice men", but they chose the "bad boy" instead. Heck, even after getting beaten, they probably get sexually excited as they have gotten proof that they have a bad boy.

Yes, women get sexually excited with these abusers and stay with them, so much so that there are millions of women's shelters sitting empty.

The nice man act is how many of them get these women to begin with.

Do you think a woman would date a guy who openly states how he will beat the crap out of her?

Would you date a women who right away says she will cheat on you? If she pretends to be faithful and isn't, is it your fault?

Some women stay, true, but usually for reasons like economic dependency and broken spirit and self esteem as that is what these abusers try to do, get them dependant and feeling like they have no other option.

I worked a women's shelter. These women were not pinning for their sexy 'bad boys'.

 

[sosousage]

I was reading about this baseball player that beat up his woman, and it got me thinking:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entr...eating-girlfriend_us_5aaa8826e4b0d28151d2911d

I don't have much sympathy for these women. I'm sure that they had their opportunities with "nice men", but they chose the "bad boy" instead. Heck, even after getting beaten, they probably get sexually excited as they have gotten proof that they have a bad boy.

i think half of these situations with a man beating his woman is where woman is stressing the **** out of him. but no you shouldnt beat any female, unless she hit you, then you can reciprocate

 

[Bible_Belt]

From a scientific perspective, I think abusive relationships are usually a symbiotic pair. We can see the abuser as the bad guy, but the victim has likely unknowingly selected him for his abusive traits, and she will also goad that abuse out of him when she needs it. Women who need to be beaten will do and say anything to get their man to give them what they want. If they fail, then they will go somewhere else to get what they need. That's not saying they "deserve" the abuse, just that they often subconsciously seek it out. Conflicts always have two sides, and even in an abusive relationship, neither side has completely clean hands.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I was reading about this baseball player that beat up his woman, and it got me thinking:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entr...eating-girlfriend_us_5aaa8826e4b0d28151d2911d

I don't have much sympathy for these women. I'm sure that they had their opportunities with "nice men", but they chose the "bad boy" instead. Heck, even after getting beaten, they probably get sexually excited as they have gotten proof that they have a bad boy.

The topic beacons nuanced points. if doxed, it wont end well for you. I'll just leave you with an old saying. If you play with fire, you're going to get burned.

 

[devilkingx2]

I think there are definitely some girls that fetishize bad boys and end up getting turned on or in jail as accessories

See: every girl who saw suicide squad, saw that the joker convinced harley to leave her six figure legitimate job and become a clown themed gangster, leaving her in jail and waiting for him to jail break her and thought to themselves "omg what a perfect relationship" (we've all seen those posts lol)

And there's also girls like rihanna who will piss off and try to fight a guy with a temper issue and then play the victim when it goes the way it'll obviously go.

For me, i know a woman who was in an abusive relationship, and when you know her as well as i do, she's the kind of person who'll do something she knows will piss you off, over and over, with no care to whether or not it gets on your nerves, but when you get mad she'll play the victim. Now try to imagine what would happen if she did this to a psychopath, and you figure out how she got into the mess she was in

 

[skinnyguy]

Reasons women stay in a relationship with their abuser:

1) it’s a sign he is alpha
2) it’s a sign he doesn’t pedestalize her and can get her to do what he wants
3) she’d rather get beaten by an alpha than treated well by a nice guy
4) she enjoys telling people she’s getting abused because she gets attention
5) the sex with the dude is mind blowing because he is dominant

 

[AJ84]

Reasons women stay in a relationship with their abuser:

1) it’s a sign he is alpha
2) it’s a sign he doesn’t pedestalize her and can get her to do what he wants
3) she’d rather get beaten by an alpha than treated well by a nice guy
4) she enjoys telling people she’s getting abused because she gets attention
5) the sex with the dude is mind blowing because he is dominant

A guy here just got arrested for killing his gf and her two children. Total badboy alpha. He showed her didn't he?

I bet the sex and attention was totally worth it.

All men should aspire to be this bad ass eh?

Why don't you spend real time with abusers and see how 'alpha' they really are.

 

[logicallefty]

I worked a women's shelter. These women were not pinning for their sexy 'bad boys'.

Not at that time they weren’t. Probably because they just had their ass beaten by a bad boy and were in a temporary altered state of mind in which the biggest nice guy prolly could have got an easy tap. But I bet after a few weeks of getting out of the shelter and back on their feet they were probably right back with the same bad boy who put them there or off on the carousel with a different bad boy with bigger muscles and meaner looking tattoos.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

They don't deserve it, but I don't feel sorry for them either. For every battered woman there are numerous nice guys that would have treated her like a queen, but she rejected them all for the abuser, drug dealer, gang member, inmate, etc.

 

[Roober]

Nobody deserves to be the victim of any form of abuse. Why is this even a question?

 

[Spaz]

From a scientific perspective, I think abusive relationships are usually a symbiotic pair. We can see the abuser as the bad guy, but the victim has likely unknowingly selected him for his abusive traits, and she will also goad that abuse out of him when she needs it. Women who need to be beaten will do and say anything to get their man to give them what they want. If they fail, then they will go somewhere else to get what they need. That's not saying they "deserve" the abuse, just that they often subconsciously seek it out. Conflicts always have two sides, and even in an abusive relationship, neither side has completely clean hands.

I've had my suspicion that this is so.

 

[Spaz]

Reasons women stay in a relationship with their abuser:

1) it’s a sign he is alpha
2) it’s a sign he doesn’t pedestalize her and can get her to do what he wants
3) she’d rather get beaten by an alpha than treated well by a nice guy
4) she enjoys telling people she’s getting abused because she gets attention
5) the sex with the dude is mind blowing because he is dominant

A dominant and strong man does not need to do this.

A man that does this is usually a weakling who preys on those weaker then him. It's a form of bullying.

 

[Murk]

Nobody deserves to be abused, people take advantage of others, it's in our inherent nature to be bad, to take advantage. Half the battle is keeping your integrity. SiIly thread.

 

[AJ84]

I think some of you are coming at this from your own prespectives of being rejected by a girl who went for the 'bad boy.'

Domestic violence is much more complicated than that.

How many of you have spent real time with abused women, met their kids? Read the police report detailing the abuse, read the hospital report detailing the abuse, listen to small children tell you about the abuse they witnessed. Ever hear a three year old explain how his mom lost her left eye? It didn't start with '***** was stressing him out'.

How many of you spent real time with abusers? Helped them get off drugs? Met with their probation officers? Referred them to counselling? Sat in on men's groups?

I'm a social worker, and I've done all that.

Let me tell you something, a man who beats his wife is seen as sh*t by other men in the lock up. These guys are not considered 'bad boys', by actual bad boys, so it's funny that some of you think that way.

I get that this is a men's site, but I never thought it would involve a horrible thread about how women who get beat up deserve it because they rejected the good guy to be with the bad guy.

And, considering how many guys here preach about not being the good guy, but, rather, being the bad guy, what the f**k does that even say???