GF went behind my back

[CMNILS87]

GF’s parent were in town and had suggested that our parents meet up for the first time. We’ve been dating for a little over a year. I was hesitant and declined and said I wasn’t ready for them to meet, because I really didn’t want them to meet. Loe and behold I get a text from my mom of them all hanging out. The principle of going behind my back and the power play has been made by her. How do I react?

 

[wifehunter]

I'd drop her. Nobody runs my life.

 

[sosousage]

HAHAHAHA. WTF LOL. How old is your gf.

If you said "I am not ready" and then your families hang out together then surely they talked about you a lot and you came across as "shy" or whatever

what is your girl trying to do? secure LTR/marriage? lol

 

[user43770]

Drop her. Spin more plates.


Just kidding.

That's a tough one. Sneaky girl. Anything you say will inevitably turn into a relationship talk. She'll want to know how committed you are. Such convos have blown up in my face multiple times.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Ask her what she's playing at. If your mum's texting you about them hanging out it can't have gone badly, the issue is more of your GF's disrespect in just ignoring your wishes. It undermines fundamental trust.

If she does stuff you don't want her to do without talking to you, it's hard to trust her with more important stuff (not cheating etc)

So I'd have a serious talk about this, even if it means "the relationship talk".

 

[devilkingx2]

Lol i don't think you can do anything, you just gotta take this L

Be prepared for something like this happening in the future.

The reason i say you can't do anything is that this is minor enough/not a bad thing enough that you'll look like a committment phobic control freak if you try to punish her for something this benign, so if you win this battle you'd only create more problems down the line

 

[CMNILS87]

Ask her what she's playing at. If your mum's texting you about them hanging out it can't have gone badly, the issue is more of your GF's disrespect in just ignoring your wishes. It undermines fundamental trust.

If she does stuff you don't want her to do without talking to you, it's hard to trust her with more important stuff (not cheating etc)

So I'd have a serious talk about this, even if it means "the relationship talk".

My mom texted her about a custom table I made and they stopped over to measure it for my sisters new house apparently. GF didn’t say no and said, “what was I suppose to do say no you can’t come cause my parents here?”

I guess she couldn’t say wait till 12 when they leave then come over. I don’t want it to sound petty, I just didn’t want them to meet or without me there.

 

[user43770]

Soft next. Hang with another girl. Anything else won’t work or matter and she’s won’t be sorry about it. These chicks only respond to one
thing and that’s attention withdrawal and competition.

Don’t make it obvious you’re out with other women to get back at her. It has to be natural. You’re not happy with her right now and considering dropping her by weighing your options is the message you should be sending.

“Oh crap, maybe he’s gonn bang that girl next time you hang and realize he likes her? better say sorry to him like right now and let him do anal”

Most times I'd agree with you, but they've been together for a year, and if anal was ever an option, that transaction has been sealed.

He's 30 - and I'm assuming she's around 30 - and they've been together for a year, which is prime time for "the talk", or in this case a maneuver which leads up to it.

 

[wifehunter]

 

[CMNILS87]

Most times I'd agree with you, but they've been together for a year, and if anal was ever an option, that transaction has been sealed.

He's 30 - and I'm assuming she's around 30 - and they've been together for a year, which is prime time for "the talk", or in this case a maneuver which leads up to it.

We do anal every once in awhile, but it’s def not at the level where we were when first dating. Now it’s oh my butts sore when I stick a small toy in. Before mega slutty for me

 

[Von]

We do anal every once in awhile, but it’s def not at the level where we were when first dating. Now it’s oh my butts sore when I stick a small toy in. Before mega slutty for me

Definitely trying to seal you in a LTR mode and have peer pressure on you.

She mega frame tested you.

She probably is a great girl/LTR potential etc... what she did was quite innocence in her head: "why would I prevent my BF parents from coming over and meeting my parents at the same time" ? "He said he didn't want them to " hang out" but she coming over is not a "hangout" .

She frame pushed you hard and it's disrespectful and yes you could feel a little break of trust.

Remember, she did it... she will rationize that she did not wrong and she didn't "make them hangout.. They just passed"

She's trying to LTR you hard.

BTW: she won't be able to find any reasons why she should have made your parents wait that her parents leave before coming... she's in love? She wants the LTR? Parents have to meet even for 5minutes.

At least the good news: your parents seems to enjoy her parents.

Bad news: your honeymoon is over, time to stepup what you want with her... she started the timer

 

[wifehunter]

Problems now, problems down the road.

Get out, while you still can.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

We do anal every once in awhile, but it’s def not at the level where we were when first dating. Now it’s oh my butts sore when I stick a small toy in. Before mega slutty for me

You’re shifting to provider territory now. Not lover anymore. What do you think I’d the best means of operation now knowing this?

 

[Murk]

Oh man, the benefit of not having parents is sh1t like this, it’s literally the only benefit and a very small one.

I agree you need to get the story from your mother, she will always have your back and break it down what actually happened. If they pushed to come over, fine, not much you can do as GF said. If they were invited, it’s a hard next, no trust.

 

[wifehunter]

Oh man, the benefit of not having parents is sh1t like this, it’s literally the only benefit and a very small one.

I agree you need to get the story from your mother, she will always have your back and break it down what actually happened. If they pushed to come over, fine, not much you can do as GF said. If they were invited, it’s a hard next, no trust.

A women when refuses to acknowledge you as a man, is no woman.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

A women when refuses to acknowledge you as a man, is no woman.

Sometimes their men

 

[wifehunter]

Sometimes their men

Or "its" lolz!!!

 

[marmel75]

At some point you either have to sh!t or get off the pot. That's pretty much her way of letting you know that time is here.

So either sh!t or get off the pot.

 

[devilkingx2]

We do anal every once in awhile, but it’s def not at the level where we were when first dating. Now it’s oh my butts sore when I stick a small toy in. Before mega slutty for me

Sounds like you should be losing interest and feeling for replacements.

I can't even conceive of a situation where your girl getting less kinky and less sexual is a good thing for you.

 

[sazc]

GF’s parent were in town and had suggested that our parents meet up for the first time. We’ve been dating for a little over a year. I was hesitant and declined and said I wasn’t ready for them to meet, because I really didn’t want them to meet. Loe and behold I get a text from my mom of them all hanging out. The principle of going behind my back and the power play has been made by her. How do I react?

All I'm going to say is that this move was so disrespectful and, apparently, she thinks she can disrespect you like this and things WILL end up peachy.

Contemplate having a wife like that...the mother of your children behaving like that... Ugh