Think I screwed myself (socially) by moving to where I am

[StrayCat]

You're not far from me. I would suggest changing your location in your profile to the Bergen county area and shrinking your match radius to 10 or 15 miles.

Ive seen lots of cuties from nice neighborhoods around there, it would be a more manageable commute for you than anything towards the city and it'll stop matching you up with the beasts out in the sticks.

Yea, I've been reaching out to them as well. Seems little interest back as I seldom get a response. Was working on one from Ramsay last week, she told me to call or text. I did, no response. I followed up a few days later, again no response. The two women from yesterday, nothing yet after the first couple of messages. I've reached all the way down to Nutley, NJ, so far not doing very well.

 

[StrayCat]

Perhaps my messages are bad? What are some tips on what to send? I was using some of the openers listed here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/pof-okcupid-match-tinder-openers.226194/

So far, no luck.

 

[StrayCat]

Will do.

I've asked questions about pics or their profile, but many do not post much info. For my profile, I am using a variation of Corey Wayne's.

https://understandingrelationships....reate-the-ultimate-online-dating-profile/2227

 

[Macaframalama]

Perhaps my messages are bad? What are some tips on what to send? I was using some of the openers listed here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/pof-okcupid-match-tinder-openers.226194/

So far, no luck.

Bahaha! No wonder that guy is banned. Horrible!

 

[StrayCat]

That's way too much. Less is more. You're not going to be mysterious writing a novella.

I don't describe the woman I'm looking for at all. You can eliminate women simply with your looks and a description of yourself/lifestyle. Any who don't eliminate themselves with the reality that you're not in their league you can eliminate by not responding.

My own bios are never more than maybe 3 or 4 sentences at most, and I cover a lot in that little paragraph, which means all of my qualities are listed in a very brief, compact form. And even those are secondary to a little humor and the kinds of little things I enjoy in life.

Never write an ad that mirrors what women typically say in their own. If you like to travel, for example, don't say that. At most, just put up one pic that shows it.

The one thing I fully agree with in that article is that it is much more productive to attract rather than chase in the OLD game. But that requires decent looks.

I customized it and only use 5 or six sentences of it.

In terms of correspondence, after they reply, what do you ask them? I've tried asking them what they like to do to relax or do for fun, but then it goes silent. Any suggestions?

 

[skinnyguy]

I was recently in Manhattan and was spending 300 bucks a night there.

You’ll either be broke in NYC with abundance or rich in the suburbs with no options. Pick your poison.

 

[StrayCat]

I was recently in Manhattan and was spending 300 bucks a night there.

You’ll either be broke in NYC with abundance or rich in the suburbs with no options. Pick your poison.

I agreed to meet this one for a drink in Manhattan. No where near broke, but I hate wasting money. Never had much growing up. I live comfortably, but I am a minimalist. Most women in this area do not care to be minimalists. It's uber crazy what things cost just 30 - 45 mins away. Crazy.

 

[StrayCat]

Going straight into a discussion about hobbies or fun things never worked for me. Those are topics that come in long after good conversation is already established. Most of the women I ended up going out with had first steered the conversation toward the most simple and humorous of comments in my ad. Two recently popular comments were:

1) "My greatest weakness is cheesecake. That sh*t is evil".

Right out of the gates I've had women offer to bake me a cheesecake, take me out for cheesecake, bring me a cheesecake, talk about the best places to get cheesecake.....

The other was:

2) "If you're over 30 and dress like a 20 year old gangsta....just....no"

This was a random, stand-alone sentence at the end of my ad. It wasn't part of what I was looking for or anything else. I got a lot of comments on that one which began with a laugh, usually followed by them asking me a question.

On a few occasions when I initiate, I'll make a humorous comment on their ad. Last night I read one that said, "I'm into MMA (mixed martial arts), which bothers a lot of guys".

My first message to her was: "I don't get it. Why would guys be bothered that you're into MMA? Do you grapple on a first date? Does the muay thai plum pain come raining down if they don't offer to pay? I have a lot of questions about this..." That turned into a conversation about strange people and the perils of online dating.

Starting off on a little humor works well and works often, but it can't be random or canned. It has to be relevant to something between the two of you. Your ad, her ad, something one of you mentioned....

So much better than "What do you do for fun?".

I'm trying, but so many of the profiles put like no information about them in it. I actually changed up my profile to only state the most interesting guy in the world is now here ladies. You're welcome.

I received more interest and messages on that line than prior. These women are just weird.

 

[StrayCat]

That's perfect. Funny. Confident. Mysterious. Simple.

You can literally make up obvious, outlandish claims about yourself when they touch on that and it'll all fly. Follow up with some humility, a little serious get to know you, go back to outlandish claims....back to being humble and honest... Keep mixing it up... You'll probably see more follow through from them.

It gives them something to look forward to when they respond. They giggle, Something funny pops into their head....they have to get it out there.

They don't feel like that when you ask what their hobby is.

Certainly trying. Some of these women are just so stuck up and entitled especially the ones who are thin and attractive. It was never this hard before. And I am in way better shape now than I was when I was last online.

 

[StrayCat]

Since I updated the profile to that statement, I've received a lot of "interests", but they didn't respond to my message? Do I follow up a day later with like message stating cat got your tongue ;'p? Or something of that measure? Weird a women would like your profile and pics, but not respond to the message. Happened three times today.

 

[StrayCat]

Fair enough. I'll lean back. There was this one, Italian lives close, and even states I do not message many guys online... However, I said what the fvck and did commented on her photo and asked about the animal and how her day was going. She looked at my profile, then 20 mins later, clicked liked. but never responded. Strange.

As for those messages, just weird. I may had followed up once on a really attractive woman, but then backed off. These guys reek of desperation that even I can smell it.