The "Goodbye" Hug

[Desdinova]

This was a few years back, but I thought it would make an interesting topic.

The girl I was dating invited me to her house. She started a discussion with me which led to her hinting that we should break up. I saw where it was heading, put the fvcking nail in the coffin, and ended the relationship right there.

As I was getting my shoes on to leave, she asked "Could I at least have one last hug". I didn't make any eye contact, told her "No", and walked out the door.

I initially felt like I did the right thing refusing the hug. Sometimes I wonder if I acted like I was too butthurt from ending the relationship and should have given the bytch a hug. I didn't think she deserved one.

 

[skinnyguy]

I think you did the right thing.

 

[Glassguy]

No hug. At that point it was over.
When I broke up with my ex fiance 2 yrs ago, she wanted a goodbye hug and kiss on my way out, right after I got the $9k engagement ring back.

"Are you seriously going to just leave? No more talking about this? Can I at least hug and kiss you one last time?"

Me (smirking): Nope. Good luck.

Never validate. Just leave.

 

[The Duke]

Asking for a final hug is all about them trying to feel good about what they just did. Maybe pull out your cahk and ask if you can have one final BJ?

 

[Trump]

As I was getting my shoes on to leave, she asked "Could I at least have one last hug". I didn't make any eye contact, told her "No", and walked out the door.

I initially felt like I did the right thing refusing the hug. Sometimes I wonder if I acted like I was too butthurt from ending the relationship and should have given the bytch a hug. I didn't think she deserved one.

By you not giving her a hug = you showed her you have no one else.

I would have definitely given her a hug. It's better to get her thinking "wow, this guy is a little too happy we are breaking up." rather than "I did my job and got to his emotions."

Remember what this site always preaches? Mindset of Abundance!

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You should have countered with one last BJ.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I would have given her a hug, but made it quick and pulled away first. That way she knows I cared about her.

Cared, past tense. Then she can sit at home thinking about how she lost the guy that cared while I'm out finding a new woman.

 

[derby1]

Its mad the sh4t we have to figure out, the old me would have give the woman a hug,
I wouldnt have even thought about it, or the vindictive ****ty reason behind it

basically as above shes just asking for a hug to validate what she just did so "SHE" feels better before she takes a selfie that too validate herself a little more

 

[Glassguy]

How about a "nah, hugging would be crossing the line at this point and I don't want my new girl asking about perfume on my clothes when I show up there when I leave here. Take care".

 

[Billtx49]

A passing hurried one armed semi-hug on your way out is probably the most you do.
Had a head case once that put on a CD and wanted a last dance…
Almost puked from her over the top drama try.

 

[logicallefty]

What LL would have done:

EX: "Can I have one last hug?"
LL : "Are you sure that's a good idea? You know you will want more than a hug once you touch me. Best we don't start anything we aren't gonna finish, don't you think?".

 

[JohnChops]

This was a few years back, but I thought it would make an interesting topic.

The girl I was dating invited me to her house. She started a discussion with me which led to her hinting that we should break up. I saw where it was heading, put the fvcking nail in the coffin, and ended the relationship right there.

As I was getting my shoes on to leave, she asked "Could I at least have one last hug". I didn't make any eye contact, told her "No", and walked out the door.

I initially felt like I did the right thing refusing the hug. Sometimes I wonder if I acted like I was too butthurt from ending the relationship and should have given the bytch a hug. I didn't think she deserved one.

It's over, you don't owe her jack sh1t after you say "I'm done."

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

By you not giving her a hug = you showed her you have no one else.

How tf can you draw that conclusion? It means the OPPOSITE if anything. Most guys would accept the hug because they know it’ll be the last time they get one from a chick for a while. If you got a harem, hugs ain’t even **** lol.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

If a girl breaks off an LTR with me and we hug just before/during, that's reasonable expression of actual emotion IMO. When you're invested in someone and 90% of your relationship was really good times together, it's mutually sad to end it.

Last girl I broke up with it was amiable and we just had to do it, we didn't really want to. But she cried, hugged me, it felt like she was actually sad to be losing what we had rather than trying to "win". She was totally cool and I felt sad too. I had no problems with her wanting to hug.

It's different if the girl is dumping you for a non-essential reason though (I.E "I got bored, LOL") or if she cheated. If it's just her breaking up with you for some petty reason. In that case if she expected a hug or affection after that, I think any man is within his rights to say no.

As for a last dance, that's just bizarre. Obviously I don't know what she was like, but on some level it's kind of touching if it's genuine (I mean, she must care if she wants that last memory with you?) on the other...if she wants to dance with you and "cares" that much, why the f*** is she breaking up with you?

--

EDIT - I've also heard "goodbye sex" is a thing too. That strikes me as just stupid. If you care about the girl you're just hammering a nail made of emotions into your balls that's going to hurt you every time you think back.

If you don't care about the girl it's just going to make the whole thing even more cynical...

 

[Trump]

How tf can you draw that conclusion? It means the OPPOSITE if anything. Most guys would accept the hug because they know it’ll be the last time they get one from a chick for a while. If you got a harem, hugs ain’t even **** lol.

Her: Could I at least have one last hug?
You: NO! I am angry that we are breaking up. You are supposed to sleep with me and only me at ALL times.

Her: Could I at least have one last hug?
You: Sure. It was great spending time with you and I wish you all the best. I am off to see my other girl Cindy. Don't forget to write.

Personally I don't like to burn bridges. But to each his own.

 

[Billtx49]

As for a last dance, that's just bizarre.

(I mean, she must care if she wants that last memory with you?) on the other...if she wants to dance with you and "cares" that much, why the f*** is she breaking up with you?..

It was all for her own feel good. No ‘care’ was involved. She was a mature woman with the emotional capacity of a teenager. She was your basic female headcase…

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Her: Could I at least have one last hug?
You: NO! I am angry that we are breaking up. You are supposed to sleep with me and only me at ALL times.

Her: Could I at least have one last hug?
You: Sure. It was great spending time with you and I wish you all the best. I am off to see my other girl Cindy. Don't forget to write.

Personally I don't like to burn bridges. But to each his own.

I see what you mean. But butthurt ≠ lack of options necessarily. I think it’s really just about how you handle it depending on the context.

 

[Murk]

Comes down to basics - you being the prize.

Girl thinks you’re unworthy? Bye, withhold every essence of your being.

 

[Desdinova]

By you not giving her a hug = you showed her you have no one else.

I would have definitely given her a hug. It's better to get her thinking "wow, this guy is a little too happy we are breaking up." rather than "I did my job and got to his emotions."

We were exclusive for over a year and I had no other options. However, knowing she was likely looking at my Facebook like a crazed stalker, I went out two weeks later for New Years, found some hot crazy attention wh0re, snapped a selfie with her, and threw it up on Facebook as my profile pic.