Think I might be asexual

[B0redandl0nely]

Went out with a girl for 4 months and did nothing more but dry hump in the park and in my car, finger her, and give her oral sex. I'm wondering why I did not pull my pants down and just do the deed. Anyone think I should be concerned?

 

[Urbanyst]

So you never get hard from attractive women?

Or is it just this one girl?

 

[B0redandl0nely]

I got very hard from her

 

[logicallefty]

How much experience with women do you have?

Did this girl say anything to you about "I don't sleep with guys I'm not married to" or "I won't have sex unless we are BF/GF"? Or are you still of the belief that women don't want/enjoy sex as much as men do? Or was there any other propaganda at play in your head or from her mouth that might have triggered you to hold back and not to move forward with getting the mud for your duck? If I had slept with all the girls I fell for this ball of nonsense on back in my beta days my lay count would be double what it is now.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

I have enough experience. She said nothing about needing a commitment to have sex, I think women want sex just as much as men do, and there was nothing going on in my head. I bought condoms once but just never used them. It just never happened and I was definitely attracted to her. I must be asexual

 

[B0redandl0nely]

I wanna die

 

[Murk]

Bro if you're gonna do it, do it quietly, cheers.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Bit harsh on this chap, guys? At the same time no need for all this cussing, new dude, calm it down.

The macho attitude is obviously that to be "Alpha Male ++ Super Deluxe Captain Turgid MegaMan MAINTAIN FRAME" you have to immediately plough a woman the minute you're slightly hard on a second date or something.

I personally find that in reality it varies a lot. Sometimes you'll want to do it but you can't (she doesn't want to, she's on her period or unforeseen stuff like STIs). Other times you might feel aroused physically but you're just not feeling it.

You don't need to f*** every time you feel physically aroused to be heterosexual. Maybe you just didn't feel 100% comfortable with that girl, unless you are exploding with confidence you are not going to neccessarily want to f*** someone who you're not relaxed and comfortable with.

Also everyone has various degrees of romance/comfort they need before they progress to sex. Varies on the person and their experience level.

Marmel for example has said he's comfortable with heavy physical flirting on a first date, because he's experienced and has a lot of confidence. Personally I'm less experienced and as a result I wouldn't feel comfortable f***ing unless I actually felt some significant trust in a girl.

So it's often a lot more complicated than just getting a boner and charging in while bugles play, just play it by ear and how you feel with each girl and stop judging yourself.

 

[Murk]

Not harsh enough. I PM'd him for a legit chat about his health and mental state and he shut me down with nonsense. Don't want to see him around here.

 

[logicallefty]

Guys, I have deleted some posts from this thread and sent some warning messages via PM. Lets give the OP a chance to discuss his issue seriously without being flamed.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

Bit harsh on this chap, guys? At the same time no need for all this cussing, new dude, calm it down.

The macho attitude is obviously that to be "Alpha Male ++ Super Deluxe Captain Turgid MegaMan MAINTAIN FRAME" you have to immediately plough a woman the minute you're slightly hard on a second date or something.

I personally find that in reality it varies a lot. Sometimes you'll want to do it but you can't (she doesn't want to, she's on her period or unforeseen stuff like STIs). Other times you might feel aroused physically but you're just not feeling it.

You don't need to f*** every time you feel physically aroused to be heterosexual. Maybe you just didn't feel 100% comfortable with that girl, unless you are exploding with confidence you are not going to neccessarily want to f*** someone who you're not relaxed and comfortable with.

Also everyone has various degrees of romance/comfort they need before they progress to sex. Varies on the person and their experience level.

Marmel for example has said he's comfortable with heavy physical flirting on a first date, because he's experienced and has a lot of confidence. Personally I'm less experienced and as a result I wouldn't feel comfortable f***ing unless I actually felt some significant trust in a girl.

So it's often a lot more complicated than just getting a boner and charging in while bugles play, just play it by ear and how you feel with each girl and stop judging yourself.

I did feel comfortable with her...

 

[B0redandl0nely]

I must be 100 percent confident. Anything else is unacceptable.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I must be 100 percent confident. Anything else is unacceptable.

Mate, you sound like you just need to chill out a bit. You don't need to approach confidence like a Samurai warrior training at Bushido ready to die for the Emperor.

Sex, relationships, all that stuff is secondary. It's not even that important that you didn't bang this girl, just move on to the next one and have fun.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

It is important. I wanna bang her sooo bad so I'm probably not asexual

 

[Urbanyst]

It is important. I wanna bang her sooo bad so I'm probably not asexual

LOL.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

I dunno why I didn't it won't get off my mind it's driving me insane

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I dunno why I didn't it won't get off my mind it's driving me insane

Why does it bother you bud? Yeah, it would have been 10 minutes of fun. It's not important in the grand scheme of things, though.

If she left you, having sex with her once wouldn't have made a difference, you were already doing other stuff with her. Not something to beat yourself up about.

 

[Alvafe]

I dunno why I didn't it won't get off my mind it's driving me insane

if you was assexual it would be all better you wouldn't have to deal with the dating scene. your problem is your confidence, you are thinking you are not good enough or are too scared to do the deed, gonna toss this here if you don't fvck her, someone else will, then you will hate you even more.

so I guess you know what you should do when you see her next time

 

[B0redandl0nely]

Why does it bother you bud? Yeah, it would have been 10 minutes of fun. It's not important in the grand scheme of things, though.

If she left you, having sex with her once wouldn't have made a difference, you were already doing other stuff with her. Not something to beat yourself up about.

Worse yet I told her I was dealing with anxiety and that's the reason why we had problems. Not to mention i still think about you miss you (cringe). I soo regret that cause now my mood has changed and I just feel like asking her to hang out again and now I feel awkward cause of what I said. It's rough cause I haven't been feeling attraction to other women since we stopped seeing each other (It's not that I feel I can' t get anybody else) and I feel more ready than ever to treat her right.

 

[Spaz]

You r certainly not asexual.

Don't over think.

Just go out and hv fun.

Relax, life is good.