How much is too much when asking a girl to hang out?

[nicksaiz65]

So last weekend, I asked a girl to hang out. Unfortunately, she was busy.

Would it be too clingy to ask her to hang out again this weekend or late in the week so I can try to escalate something? Gonna put some distance between us for a couple days as well

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So last weekend, I asked a girl to hang out. Unfortunately, she was busy.

Would it be too clingy to ask her to hang out again this weekend or late in the week so I can try to escalate something? Gonna put some distance between us for a couple days as well

She should be asking you to hangout. They are all doing the same things these days.

 

[Billtx49]

Wait two weeks minimum to ask again. I only ask twice before moving on.

 

[The Duke]

I'm going to assume this is a girl you just met and haven't been out with yet. I'd give it a week, and instead of asking her to hang out, tell her you are going somewhere and ask if she wants to join. She might be thinking that hangout means all you want is sechs. Build a little rapport first.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I'm going to assume this is a girl you just met and haven't been out with yet. I'd give it a week, and instead of asking her to hang out, tell her you are going somewhere and ask if she wants to join. She might be thinking that hangout means all you want is sechs. Build a little rapport first.

Nah I’ve been on a coffee date with her once. She seems somewhat interested. I just was wondering how soon I should ask her out so I don’t seem clingy

 

[icantgetlaid]

I disagree with a lot of feedback in this thread.

When you get to the point where you start questioning when/how/how often you should ask a girl out--especially if you've already been on a date with them--chances are her interest level is so low its not even worth your time to pursue any longer.

I know it's said often here, but it's said often because it's the gods-to-honest-truth:

When a girl is interested YOU'LL KNOW IT. There will be NO confusion. If you don't text her or ask her out, she'll be cold texting you. You won't have to second guess ANYTHING. You won't have to wonder when to ask her out again, she'll be cold texting you often, responding quickly to anytime you reach out, and STRONGLY nudging you to asking her out.

This is where you want to be as a DJ. You want a rotation of the hottest girls you can get, all competing for your time and attention. And as soon as any of these chicks step out of line YOU next her and watch her come back on her best behavior worshiping the ground you walk on.

Working from a DJ frame, you should NEVER be questioning when and how you could ask a girl out ... she decline and gave no counter. My advice is to go cold and let her reach out to you or don't waste anymore time on her.

 

[devilkingx2]

So last weekend, I asked a girl to hang out. Unfortunately, she was busy.

Would it be too clingy to ask her to hang out again this weekend or late in the week so I can try to escalate something? Gonna put some distance between us for a couple days as well

Go ghost and start hitting on a new girl.

Too busy to go out with you is low interest 99% of the time (most people aren't legitimately busy unless you had really bad timing)

 

[nicksaiz65]

So basically just hit on some new chicks and increase my SMV as high as I can to get more people interested?

 

[Billtx49]

So basically just hit on some new chicks and increase my SMV as high as I can to get more people interested?

Bingo. I would personally give her one more chance at me with a serious date invite before disappearing though.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Anything other than a yes is a no. That doesn't mean no forever, but it means no at that moment in time.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Bingo. I would personally give her one more chance at me with a serious date invite before disappearing though.

I agree! There’s that Two Strike Rule again lol

 

[jaymbrs]

I disagree with a lot of feedback in this thread.

When you get to the point where you start questioning when/how/how often you should ask a girl out--especially if you've already been on a date with them--chances are her interest level is so low its not even worth your time to pursue any longer.

I know it's said often here, but it's said often because it's the gods-to-honest-truth:

When a girl is interested YOU'LL KNOW IT. There will be NO confusion. If you don't text her or ask her out, she'll be cold texting you. You won't have to second guess ANYTHING. You won't have to wonder when to ask her out again, she'll be cold texting you often, responding quickly to anytime you reach out, and STRONGLY nudging you to asking her out.

This is where you want to be as a DJ. You want a rotation of the hottest girls you can get, all competing for your time and attention. And as soon as any of these chicks step out of line YOU next her and watch her come back on her best behavior worshiping the ground you walk on.

Working from a DJ frame, you should NEVER be questioning when and how you could ask a girl out ... she decline and gave no counter. My advice is to go cold and let her reach out to you or don't waste anymore time on her.

Since when does low interest mean you should give up? I’m tired of reading this same BS. Not everyone looks and acts like Brad Pitt. Some dudes need to put some work in in order to raise the interest level.

 

[icantgetlaid]

Since when does low interest mean you should give up? I’m tired of reading this same BS. Not everyone looks and acts like Brad Pitt. Some dudes need to put some work in in order to raise the interest level.

Yes, put work in.

The type of work you should put in is raising your own value:

+ Dress nicer
+ Get into better shape
+ Work on your personality/social life

Don't waste time trying to win some chick over who has low interest.

Remember, let girls chase. You are too committed to your own life, your own hobbies, your own passions, etc. When you embrace this mindset you'll get more high quality pvssy easier than you ever have and more than you can handle.

 

[wifehunter]

She was busy because 'hanging out' is not an exciting memorable adventure.

She's probably thinking, you're one of those boring orbiter types.

She'd rather do laundry or wash her hair.

 

[marmel75]

You should have enough women you are talking to that if she doesn't make it when you ask you don't have time to get back to her for 2 or 3 weeks.

If you arent at this level then that should be your first line of business, start collecting options.

 

[ohrein]

LOL. No. You don't. Or at least I don't.

Have you ever had to actually juggle 3/4 women all vying for your time every Saturday night? It's a nightmare that always quickly breaks down into accusations of being a player sooner rather than later. I can't see how or why anyone else would want to maintain this ideological Ultimate Super DJ frame some guys promote here.

I actually make the effort to find women who are busy enough that they aren't always vying for my time and attention. Makes sh*t so much easier....

I have two "plates" that work opposite weekends from each other. Never any conflict, because one is always working when the other is off.

A busy woman is not an automatic "next" for me.

I barely have time for one woman, let alone 3-4. And with the workload that's coming my way this year that's only going to be worse. My friends are all professionals in relationships and their women often complain they don't have time for them. No idea how anyone really dedicated to a career or study can spin more than a couple of plates. I managed three FWB at uni for a very short period of time but it wasn't really that enjoyable and I just couldn't manage the time anymore.

 

[devilkingx2]

Have you ever had to actually juggle 3/4 women all vying for your time every Saturday night? It's a nightmare that always quickly breaks down into accusations of being a player sooner rather than later. I can't see how or why anyone else would want to maintain this ideological Ultimate Super DJ frame some guys promote here.

I barely have time for one woman, let alone 3-4. And with the workload that's coming my way this year that's only going to be worse. My friends are all professionals in relationships and their women often complain they don't have time for them. No idea how anyone really dedicated to a career or study can spin more than a couple of plates. I managed three FWB at uni for a very short period of time but it wasn't really that enjoyable and I just couldn't manage the time anymore.

some guys have a lot more free time than others, usually it's at the expense of money though.

I have more than enough time to date a different girl every day of the week, but I can't afford it unless all those dates are super cheap/free lol

 

[jaymbrs]

I barely have time for one woman, let alone 3-4. And with the workload that's coming my way this year that's only going to be worse. My friends are all professionals in relationships and their women often complain they don't have time for them. No idea how anyone really dedicated to a career or study can spin more than a couple of plates. I managed three FWB at uni for a very short period of time but it wasn't really that enjoyable and I just couldn't manage the time anymore.

Some of the guys on here don’t have lives outside of dating chicks apparently.

 

[fastlife]

Wait two weeks minimum to ask again. I only ask twice before moving on.

Two weeks lol. If a girl is attractive and say, 18-21, do you have any idea what you'll be up against during that time period? How many emotional fluctuations, how many guys they'll meet, how many exes they'll hear from, etc., etc. Highly unlikely, unless you made a huge emotional impact that she'll even remember you in two weeks.

A couple days is plenty of time to let her cool down. Worrying about appearing clingy is needy behavior; first of all, most guys will try to text her every day after they get her number; secondly, she'll have ample demonstration of how non-clingy I am when I eventually lose interest and drop off the face of the earth forever or sees me out with another girl.

I'm an advocate for non-needy persistence. If I meet a girl I really want (rare), I'll hit her up for a month or two. Flakes, non-responses, etc. are just par for the course. Of course, this won't work every time but it works enough (maybe 1/4 of the time) to justify its usage. The only stipulation is if she's in a social circle or you see her often--in which case, play it cool, game in person, be quick to back off.

 

[BeExcellent]

Gonna put some distance between us for a couple days as well

This is fine. Don't go weeks however. As @fastlife said you'll fall completely off the radar screen and you'll leave too much space for her to end up going out with another dude.

If she isn't responsive when you ask her out this next time...move along.

You have to go by facts. Fact is she didn't have time (or wouldn't make time) for you recently. That is fact. It doesn't matter why. So you are already giving her the benefit of the doubt by asking her out again AT ALL. If she cannot make time for you the second time, then that is another fact. In that case she has established not once but twice that you are not the priority. Take the hint and get the message. It doesn't matter why. Just NEXT! and move along.

Now. IF she accepts your second date and shows up (you must always go by what someone does...not what they say...) then you gauge her interest in person by how she responds to you. Simple. You go based on actions and facts. That is all that matters.

I was talking to my ex husband last evening about this very same thing. There is a hot young woman he took out for Valentine's Day (and a time before that or two). I asked him if he kissed her. He said no, that she didn't/wouldn't kiss him. I know him well and know he is smooth with girls and I also know he is a good kisser and good in bed. But this chick he took out was lukewarm about escalation. Perhaps he needs to be more overtly sexual, perhaps he is allowing himself to get used a bit. The girl in question is accustomed to getting men to take her out and pay her way and entertain her for little investment on her part. She is very petite and hot so she gets away with it. I pointed this out to my ex, and he sees it as well. He is debating whether or not he wants to take her dancing this weekend (and see if he can escalate with her)...but right now the facts indicate she sees him as more a placeholder or an entertainer than a lover. Not good. I think he ought to lone wolf it and see what he pulls rather than waste time on this chick, but he is a good dancer so going dancing may play to his strengths. He will have to figure all that out.

The only other thing I would add is just a comment that there do exist traditional type women who expect a man to take the masculine role and lead. These women won't chase a man, even if they REALLY like him. You cannot tell if you are interacting with such a woman unless you are willing to initiate contact. If she likes you she will be responsive, encouraging, and she will facilitate getting together. She WILL make it easy. Some guys here will simply say that is "girl game" and admittedly it certainly is, but it also gives the woman in question a way to gauge you as the man based on your actions. If you reach out...you are interested. If she responds in an encouraging/receptive way...she is interested.

But notice how this approach is based in fact and action rather than wishes and fantasy. Don't over think. Just be the man and do. Her response will give you the feedback you need to proceed or not proceed.