Lose your ego. Gain confidence. Gain MONEY

[Urbanyst]

One of the most important lessons I've learned so far for THRIVING in life is to lose your ego.

The older I get, the less ego I have. The less ego I have, the more I THRIVE. I'm seeing this in my dating life as well as my social life and career. A lot of us do stupid sh*t to protect our egos at the expense of our self-respect and MONEY.

When it comes to relationships and women, remember no one owes you jack sh*t but yourself. Live by that attitude. Everything you want out of life you owe to YOURSELF to get it. No one else owes you sh*t. @da dynamically is one poster who explained this very well.

Make consistent moves to maximize your HEALTH, LOOKS, MONEY and STATUS. Those four things will make life so much easier for you in every possible way. These are also things many people will attack you for valuing. Including friends and family. Ignore those clowns.

EGO is about trying to control other people and how they treat you, view you, and feel about you. CONFIDENCE is about only controlling yourself and ignoring outside pressure to do anything.

Examples of dumb ego sh*t:

1. Fighting other guys over bitches (women will choose who they want anyway)
2. Arguing with women for reasons outside of pure entertainment
3. Trying to be "hip"
4. Trying to force relationships to work
5. Trying to force people to like you
6. Chasing women instead of pursing them
7. Chasing people instead of giving them time to come to you
8. Trying to impress anyone who isn't paying you MONEY to do a job
9. Feeling entitled to anything

 

[guru1000]

There is a fine line between ego and self-respect. The very few that understand this small distinction are the grandmasters of life.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Examples of dumb ego sh*t:

1. Fighting other guys over bitches (women will choose who they want anyway)
2. Arguing with women for reasons outside of pure entertainment
3. Trying to be "hip"
4. Trying to force relationships to work
5. Trying to force people to like you
6. Chasing women instead of pursing them
7. Chasing people instead of giving them time to come to you
8. Trying to impress anyone who isn't paying you MONEY to do a job
9. Feeling entitled to anything

10. Continuously starting hopefully epic posts on a board filled with fist fvcking kj's in hopes of becoming and internet gooroo.

 

[Roober]

You listed one of the biggest egos on SS as an example to prove your point. While he had some good things to say, he also had some of the biggest ego preservation narratives I have ever witnessed here.

 

[TheProspect]

EGO is about trying to control other people and how they treat you, view you, and feel about you.

Are you not doing this very thing when you place money, status, and fashion/looks on a pedestal in order to control how hot women treat, view, and feel about you?

Money, fashion and status are social constructs which isolated on their own are useless abstract ideas. You cannot seek either without, at least subconsciously, hoping to influence in one way or another how other people treat you, view you, and feel about you. That is sort of the point.

In my opinion the thread is contradictory, especially seeing as how one of the posters with the most ego on this forum is authoring a thread about losing it.

I'm not against acquiring money or status, or dressing to impress, but you can't seek any of those without some degree of desire to influence your external social environment. It's like a female saying she only wears makeup for herself because it makes her feel better..... Lol, if she was the last human on earth, she wouldn't be attending to a mirror for a half hour every morning. Her external social environment influences her decisions just like it does everyone else

The majority of our decisions in life are based on our social environment (how we are perceived, what/who we can influence), and thus inherently involve ego. If you want a life devoid of all ego go live in a monastery instead of revolving your life around achieving wealth and status for the sake of impressing complete strangers simply because they were born with good genetics.

 

[Urbanyst]

Are you not doing this very thing when you place money, status, and fashion/looks on a pedestal in order to control how hot women treat, view, and feel about you?

Money, fashion and status are social constructs which isolated on their own are useless abstract ideas. You cannot seek either without, at least subconsciously, hoping to influence in one way or another how other people treat you, view you, and feel about you. That is sort of the point.

In my opinion the thread is contradictory, especially seeing as how one of the posters with the most ego on this forum is authoring a thread about losing it.

I'm not against acquiring money or status, or dressing to impress, but you can't seek any of those without some degree of desire to influence your external social environment. It's like a female saying she only wears makeup for herself because it makes her feel better..... Lol, if she was the last human on earth, she wouldn't be attending to a mirror for a half hour every morning. Her external social environment influences her decisions just like it does everyone else

The majority of our decisions in life are based on our social environment (how we are perceived, what/who we can influence), and thus inherently involve ego. If you want a life devoid of all ego go live in a monastery instead of revolving your life around achieving wealth and status for the sake of impressing complete strangers simply because they were born with good genetics.

MONEY and status help you live a better life. There is no way around it.

Its not about impressing people, its about getting the things you WANT out of life.

10. Continuously starting hopefully epic posts on a board filled with fist fvcking kj's in hopes of becoming and internet gooroo.

Large minds discuss ideas. Small minds discuss people.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You are talking about ego in the Freudian sense. But you are using it incorrectly. The way you talk about it is what he called ‘superego’. Ego is the balance between the id and the superego.

Now, if you talk about ego in the general sense, then this is not what ego is, and this post is extremely ironic. By saying that you are improving yourself and are losing your ego is a massive display of ego in and of itself. Vanity is rooted in ego. You are mixing up high self esteem, self respect, and ego. High self esteem is what makes not give a crap about what others think. Self respect makes you not take crap from people even if it doesn’t bother you. Ego is what makes you want to strive for status and make you look better. Ego is what makes you think more about yourself than you probably should. It’s also what makes you do stuff called HUMBLEBRAG like how you did with this thread just now hahaha. That’s why I called it ironic. Someone without ego would not have really mentioned that they were losing theirs, or they would say how they were constantly trying to lose it. Not how they already have lost some or all. See what I mean? It’s the subtleties.

And the thing is, the older you get, the MORE ego you have. Not less. Older people are harder to deal with at times because of this. They aren’t willing to try new things and are stubborn and refuse to change. It’s called crystallized intelligence. Younger people such as myself have fluid intelligence and are much more willing to try new things and potentially fail. Part of it is because we tend to have less to lose and have more energy.

You have to understand what you are talking about before you talk about it. Reread your post and you’ll see why many of us think it’s so contradictory. You can’t claim something like flaming on a chick before she flakes on you and call it self respect if it’s just so that you aren’t the one getting flaked on; that’s ego. Just an example of what your post basically is. Too contradictory and ironic. It’s like telling someone how you are the most modest person you’ve ever known hahahaha

 

[Murk]

/thread

 

[TheProspect]

MONEY and status help you live a better life. There is no way around it.

Its not about impressing people, its about getting the things you WANT out of life.

"Better life" is entirely subjective. There are people completely content not being famous, or socially powerful. There are people completely content not having an abundance of wealth. "Better life" to you means not worrying about money and banging hot women. Better life to some others is being surrounded with people they love and who love them. Better life to some others is leaving the world a better place than they found it. In those cases, you are not required to have money and status to put the smile on the face of another. You are not required money and status to make a positive difference in the world.

Its not about impressing people, its about getting the things you WANT out of life.

Beyond banging more hot women and acquiring more money, what do you personally want out of life? Your life seems to revolve endlessly around achieving those two things. If that's the case, it is exactly about acquiring money (what you want) for the sake of impressing people (hot women), in order to bang them (the other thing you want). How is ego, in the sense of self-importance, not involved in this process?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

By saying that you are improving yourself and are losing your ego is a massive display of ego in and of itself.

The human ego is a clever fvcker.

The movie, "Revolver" is a metaphorical treatment of the ego.

Here is what most consider the "money scene" where the protagonist finally 'defeats' his ego:

 

[guru1000]

Beyond banging more hot women and acquiring more money, what do you personally want out of life? Your life seems to revolve endlessly around achieving those two things. If that's the case, it is exactly about acquiring money (what you want) for the sake of impressing people (hot women), in order to bang them (the other thing you want). How is ego, in the sense of self-importance, not involved in this process?

Just as there lies a distinction between ego and self-respect, a distinction also lies between ego and one's mental paradigm. Most confuse the two as generally those with big egos concomitantly possess large mental paradigms (see Trump).

Ironically, in the process of securing the most money in the entrepreneurial sense, one has to relinquish their ego even if only temporarily, else fail to persist. Working example would be failing to call enough prospects because the previous 99 rejected you. This also applies to women, whereas one's ego must accept rejection to sieve through the hottest women.

Although Urbanyst might have a certain mental paradigm to secure a certain wealth, he also has ego, as shown through his arguments in this forum. I see this thread as a personal journey of awareness for himself.

Point I'm driving home (and not one that you are necessarily disagreeing with) is one can desire and strive for monetary and dating success without ego.

 

[Trump]

Interesting points by the OP.

But as was said, you can have ego and have looks, money, status, health. And you cannot have ego and have looks, money, status, health. Having it or not having it has nothing to with respect or success.

Ego is a subjective term. Doesn't deal with facts.

 

[TheProspect]

Ego is a subjective term. Doesn't deal with facts.

Exactly. How we interpret the world "ego" dictates how we interpret the OP's post. We need to define it before we individually address it, or at least try and understand how OP defines in order to address his point directly. But we should be arguing for/against the point he is making, not the definition of an ambiguous word.

EGO is about trying to control other people and how they treat you, view you, and feel about you.

A lot of replies are addressing different definitions of ego, whereas my response was gauged at this description of ego as authored by the OP himself. No sense getting caught up in the linguistics of the word "ego" itself... I addressed directly his explanation of it, as he understood it, which is ultimately what matters.

 

[Red Legg]

While I agree with the OP that money and status help you in life they are not the end all be all road to happiness,millionaires have one of the highest SUICIDE rates of any income bracket,people with tons of money and status kill themselves every single day.I know men who have been dead broke (including myself) who have virtually no status to speak of pull very hot women and are happy in life.Personality is the end all be all of traits to have,If you have an award winning personality and attitude to go with it you do not need money OR status.

 

[Urbanyst]

While I agree with the OP that money and status help you in life they are not the end all be all road to happiness,millionaires have one of the highest SUICIDE rates of any income bracket,people with tons of money and status kill themselves every single day.I know men who have been dead broke (including myself) who have virtually no status to speak of pull very hot women and are happy in life.Personality is the end all be all of traits to have,If you have an award winning personality and attitude to go with it you do not need money OR status.

Give me all your MONEY then and go live on the streets with your great "personality" lol.

MONEY is not the end all be all to happiness. But lack of money can be the end all be all to misery.

People love to point out losers with HOT women as a way to attack the MONEY argument. Its like pointing to a dog with three legs. The rule is dogs have four legs. The rule is more important than the exceptions.

Do you want to rely on luck or do you want a reliable way to attract HOT women? Up to you.

 

[Red Legg]

Give me all your MONEY then and go live on the streets with your great "personality" lol.

You use only extremes in your argument of money and status (your whole argument is too extreme) .I am retired and very comfortable but in some ways was happier when I had less.My point is that someone of modest means (not homeless) can do better than someone with tons of money and status.

 

[Urbanyst]

You use only extremes in your argument of money and status (your whole argument is too extreme) .I am retired and very comfortable but in some ways was happier when I had less.My point is that someone of modest means (not homeless) can do better than someone with tons of money and status.

My point is the rule is more important than random exceptions.

Extremes prove the point. MONEY matters a lot. So do looks and status.

I thought this site was about telling men how to have the highest possible SMV. But when guys like me tell you how to raise your SMV a lot of you want to focus on LOSERS who find a way around it lol.

If you're too lazy to improve your looks, MONEY and status over the course of your life to have a better standard of living, I don't feel sorry for you when you fail with women.

 

[AJ84]

There are men who don't have LMS who are not failing with women in their minds, and that's what counts to them. Those guys don't care what you think, you're not them.
For you, success with women means using LMS to consistently sleep with hot women. Nothing wrong with that. However, when guys reply with examples of the success that they are having despite not having high levels of LMS, you ridicule them for seeing success as being married, or in a LTR, or dating a woman past 30, or a single mom, or anything other than what YOU define as success with women. You ridicule them for placing importance on values that differ from yours.
Guess what, everyone is not lazy, they just aren't you. You do you, and maybe focus your advice on guys who see success the same way you do, and stop crapping on what other guys see as success with women, or what they consider as valuable in life. Then, maybe you will be less frustrated.

 

[The Diver]

Ego associated with insecurity and fear, and in nutshell: it's been worry about what other people thinking about you, and how they perceive you.
Your interaction with your surrounding will be heavily affected by it.(big obstacle when interacting with women).

Self respect associated with confidence and self assured: you're so assured of who and what you are,it's scream high confidence, and will generate the famous DGAF attitude.(a big plus when interacting with women)

Build your confidence to the level where your ego in non exist.

(In my opinion: If you are a TRUE confidante person,then the amount/level of Money, Status and Look dictate only the level of women you'll be able to interact with: will it be HB5-7 or HB8-10 ? but interacting with women you will )

 

[Solomon]

10. Continuously starting hopefully epic posts on a board filled with fist fvcking kj's in hopes of becoming and internet gooroo.

*High Fives @taiyuu_otoko *

I miss the days of Field reports or actual break downs, instead of recycled KJing but whatever sells right?