Help with bpd exwife

[Spaz]

So u r a malay Muslim ?

The shariah courts in Malaysia almost always side with the male.

And if they did side with the female that means u truly did a phucked up job on your wife.

Did you cut her up?

Did you beat her up so badly until she landed in the hospital?

After all you claim she's a BPD....

Come on don't be shy, do tell.

 

[Focal core]

Its bet

So u r a malay Muslim ?

The shariah courts in Malaysia almost always side with the male.

And if they did side with the female that means u truly did a phucked up job on your wife.

Did you cut her up?

Did you beat her up so badly until she landed in the hospital?

After all you claim she's a BPD....

Come on don't be shy, do tell.

Its better that i didnt disclose about my religion or race to a racist ignorant whackjob and obvoiusly youre a man hater and dont belong here in SS,

Its not about the answer you want to seek from me, theres something obviously wrong with you, and why youre even here? Bottomless emptiness pit or just your life is so lonely? Don Juan thread will be more suitable for you. This is a mature man thread here, please do a favour to yourself, kick yourself out of here and smash some chicks out tgere, go get a life.

 

[Spaz]

Oops did I touch a nerve there ?

The truth hurts huh....

Best you work on your anger management issues.

And phulease stop beating woman up to get them to submit to your wishes

Now that's my advice on how to handle "BPD" woman....lmao.

 

[Focal core]

Oh yeah u must be another some sort of unsure unstable immature man here trying to proved to be a capt to save a ho, and sounds more like a co dependent, first youre saying i 'claim' her to be a bpd just my assumption right boy? Second you accused me of beating a women with baseless accusation? What the fcuk is wrong with you? Ure such a pain in the ass unsure of what oneself is talking about? Go disappear.

 

[Spaz]

You need to stop translating from Malay into English when you write.

I don't get your meaning with all those jumble up sentences.

How about you write to me in Bahasa Melayu?

Now be a good little boy and stop seeking validation over your abusive ways.

 

[Focal core]

And how is that i am being abusive? Come on please ellaborate more so we all can hear about your thought since youre so literate and confidence of your thoughts , please describe all the details that what i have write here on this thread without any prejudice to support your claim on me.

 

[Spaz]

U r a Muslim man in Malaysia.

Almost every benefit is accorded to you base on Muslim law.

Your wife has maybe less then 10% of your rights in comparison.

Stop complaining and be a phucking man !

 

[Focal core]

U r a Muslim man in Malaysia.

Almost every benefit is accorded to you base on Muslim law.

Your wife has maybe less then 10% of your rights in comparison.

Stop complaining and be a phucking man !

Im sure you didnt understand about anything on this thread at all and normalize it to suite with what you have only know base on your knowledge, you know nothing about living with a Bpd person and yet here you are, this is not a women or mens rights thread here, take your mainstream knowledge elsewhere thats more benificial to them, if i wants an advise about women or mens rights i wouldnt be screaming here, i have my fellow lawyers to do that for me.. And yet here you are whining about women and mens right and male being abusive, i didnt deny that is a lot of true abusive men out there, most of the abusers are result from core trauma that they had endure and never resolved over their childhood to be carried over and lash out their misery towards their spouse.
Im sure ure a malaysian, have u heard about women 8stabbing a knife on her husband on the newspaper just because the man didnt return to his house for few days? He works at the wet markets.Thats the case with Bpd women, they are a core damage person, they cant control their emotion when being abusive towards their spouse, its not even their fault, its their subconscious at very best and the disorder at play, however they fully aware of what they had done to their partner and they hate themself for being what they are, im not talking about daily wife and husband chores fighting over for some spilling coffee over the table or arguing about their babies crying at night and who have to wipe diapers here and a true abusive men wouldnt be here asking support to regain their strength just to live another day on their aftermath living with their crazy making ex wife, and worse they remain crazy and continue to destroy you and reap what they can, they didnt process breakups like we nons do, they didnt even know how to vent their anger or depression (in healthy way) and they remain unresolved and will lash out even it means to bust you out from your careers or any means to feed your kids even after the divorce and they will continue to hate you.
The saddest part is we all care and love our BPD women and want them to be healthy and return our love, but u will have a better chance strapping to a banana flying to the moon than even hoping for them to change without intensive theraphy for years and that not even a guarantees. You really just need to experience a bpd women once and i swear to you u will regret to have such unrespecting conversation that u pulls on me.
This thread is not even about winning or losing in the courts battle or about developing strategies to destroy one another, its about just to live life as normal as possible and to survive all the mudslinging that the disordered person throw at us, its a life strategies to get the hell out of this life misery.
You should be ashamed to yourself of having such little understanding about this thread and proud using it to insult another man.

 

[GT40]

@Spaz your racial profiling and it’s based on ?? How do you know he’s Muslim?

 

[stovepipe]

How i wish i knew about this disorder early on.. She hide her flake very well before the marriage. Theres no red flags at all.. She has three sane brothers, she must has learn to behave from them.

Seems she is a covert bpd/narc. Wouldn't be surprised if she was mirroring her bros behavior the entire time to suck you into her toxic world. The ones who throw no red flags in the beginning are the most dangerous ones. Some of them throw red flags from the get go like my ex. Non stop flags, but I kept ignoring them due to my deep feelings for her. The push/pull will destroy you if you dont know how to handle it. The only way to win is to not play their game. Unfortunately having children with one changes the entire game.


Be very cautious of the push/pull. She will try to destroy down to your core. It will turn your brain into mashed potatoes. Once you educate yourself to the gills and have all the knowledge on how they work, then and only then, will one be able to truly understand how these demons work. Also how to handle their push/tactics. Only talk to her when it's about the child and nothing else. Don't give her attention, don't feed into her bs/ego, don't let her get to you.

They feed of emtions, they need supply/control in order to survive. If it has nothing to do with the kid, then tell her we are done with this conversation. If you stand strong, act blunt to the point and dont show any emtions/anger/sadness she will hate you for that. Once she loses control, her world begins to crumble. It truly does feel like you are going to war when dealing with these demons. Like a spiritual battle between good n evil.

The smear campaign is a horrible evil tactic. It's amazing how they can turn everyone against you when you did nothing wrong. No matter how much proof you have of their damaging behaviors, they are great actors who will always play the victim role.

Reading all these posts about having kids with a bpd/narc gives me chills wondering what life would have been like. I have no doubt I'd be dead right now had I had those kids with her. Even tho its been over a year since she moved, mentally Im fuked.

 

[Focal core]

@stovepipe wow your notion regarding my ex were almost accurate to the core, yeah im agree with you and youre giving me a good viewpoint regarding her being covert narc, now it make sense, looking back her family slowly turn away from me without i realize, then out of nowhere boom, yeah youre correct about her tactic to get to my reaction, first hoover i resist, now turn into a massive triangulation with her ex and my kids, blocking unblocking whatsapp and so on. I wouldnt go online when shes doing that, im waiting for the day on high court in respond to her appealing to deputy prosecuter to put me behind the bar again.. Yeah hoover, triangulate and destroy you , thats what im facing now.wish hadnt kids with her, otherwise i can severed the ties completely.

I found a very effective solution to get her off totally from my mind, first detach emotionally, i mean very detach, dissociate completely, second their crazy making and discarded phase will bring all your unresolved childhood injury into surface, the pain is insanely hurt to the cellular level, unresolved issue that we burried a long time ago and compensate via being successfull in life, will fukked your mind now.. Take this chance resolve them all, in turn you will recover those emotion u lost long time ago like i did, i gain more control of my emotion now, its the only gift from her and its priceless, hope u will heal soon brotha.

This article will guide you how to resolve your pain.

http://www.sharischreiber.com/needlove.html

 

[051AV]

Pretty scary being with a BPD I know what to look for now and I avoid the women that make my BPD meter start twitching, I can't go through what my ex put me through. I didn't know about BPD when I met her, now I know everything about BPD after she left my life, gave me all the answers to what in the hell happened.

The smear campaign is the worst she wanted to turn everybody that is in my life against me I was the bad guy she did a good job at it, people thought I was the biggest A hole in the world, claiming I was abusive to her which wasn't true of course. She didn't hide her issues very long in our relationship I started seeing the scary side in her right away. My replacement didn't see the scary side for at least 6 months I seen it within a month. She no longer lives in the same town as me I don't have any issues running into her, she's blocked me from social media any reminders of me makes her feel ill. I don't think I will ever forget her, pretty hard to forget a women that puts you through what she did.

 

[Focal core]

Pretty scary being with a BPD I know what to look for now and I avoid the women that make my BPD meter start twitching, I can't go through what my ex put me through. I didn't know about BPD when I met her, now I know everything about BPD after she left my life, gave me all the answers to what in the hell happened.

The smear campaign is the worst she wanted to turn everybody that is in my life against me I was the bad guy she did a good job at it, people thought I was the biggest A hole in the world, claiming I was abusive to her which wasn't true of course. She didn't hide her issues very long in our relationship I started seeing the scary side in her right away. My replacement didn't see the scary side for at least 6 months I seen it within a month. She no longer lives in the same town as me I don't have any issues running into her, she's blocked me from social media any reminders of me makes her feel ill. I don't think I will ever forget her, pretty hard to forget a women that puts you through what she did.

At least at the start of the crazy making it gets very similar to this song - calvin harris - feels

You dont want this type of girl in your life man i know, i married Her for two years, Acquaintance for years and being my girl For 9 month.. Red flag only showed up after few weeks after marriage, yeah marriage is not the new start its the end game for this type of women, she drags me into a fight right away beats the hell out of me like a crazy monkey, she would say sorry for the first few month, and then it gets crazy all the way. The scariest part for me when she started to sabotage our relationship behind my back, for instance you send your wife for a routine medical checkout or to get her well like every husband did and she would tell the doctor that i beat her up and making a police report the next day without me aware of it, its such an impossible life.

And the smear campaign its beyond my wildest imagination. Couldnt think anymore worst than this.

 

[stovepipe]

At least at the start of the crazy making it gets very similar to this song - calvin harris - feels

You dont want this type of girl in your life man i know, i married Her for two years, Acquaintance for years and being my girl For 9 month.. Red flag only showed up after few weeks after marriage, yeah marriage is not the new start its the end game for this type of women, she drags me into a fight right away beats the hell out of me like a crazy monkey, she would say sorry for the first few month, and then it gets crazy all the way. The scariest part for me when she started to sabotage our relationship behind my back, for instance you send your wife for a routine medical checkout or to get her well like every husband did and she would tell the doctor that i beat her up and making a police report the next day without me aware of it, its such an impossible life. And the smear campaign its beyond my wildest imagination. Couldnt think anymore worst than this.

I've researched, studied and analyzed more on Cluster B than most. I got to a place where I was helping people from all over the world heal from these toxic relationships in my spare time. It no longer surprises me how 99.9% all sound like they read the same playbook. Once you educate yourself to the gills, I'm more than sure you can look back and see just how predictable their behavior was, the red flags you missed, what their lies were trying to cover up, ect. When you know nothing about these disorders, or even a little, that is when you become the most hurt from the aftermath. But most times, the ones who become the most hurt are also broken themselves from their childhood. Hard for me to explain, its like a BPD can bring your childhood or personal/emtions trauma to the surface.

You linked http://www.sharischreiber.com/needlove.html which I will say is probably the 1# best site for BPD information. I helped a guy on this forum for many months who tried to commit suicide after his BPD ex left him. I turned him onto Sherry site. He was lucky enough to chat with her for free for a little, but couldn't afford the $350hr she charges for therapy. Last I checked she retired, but she did make a youtube channel with some good info. She herself is a little off the wall, but she knows her stuff when it comes to BPD. I remember when I was still in the fog I came across a paragraph (pic below) on her site that made my jaw drop to the floor when I read it cause everything happened just as she wrote it.

I can say from all the stories I've read and all the people I've helped all said the same thing. The day they moved in together, got married or made a life changing move such as a child, it was as if a switch flipped and he/she became a totally different person. Same goes for my situation. I was staying at her place almost all week for 20 months, had a lot of my stuff there. But when she got kicked out of her condo by her grandma, we signed a lease together. From that day on she changed into completely different person. I wont go into detail, but I endured more BS in that first month than I did in the previous 20 months.

 

[Focal core]

Well @stovepipe you probably know more than i do about this disorder, when it comes to dating a chicks my bs sensor is operating at a maximum degree, i dates a lot of chicks i would dump them uf i sense something is off, as a inner strong man im attracted to the confidence that my ex was projecting when we met/dating, shes mirroring well with my qualities too, not a single red flags, she hasnt been clingy always optimistic strong headed women, but her mask cant stand long without a good supply, her ex was a complete doormat omega type which i may assumed a very good narc supply for her to push around and projecting a good qualities out of her. And being a covert narc that was caught me offguard, absolutely falls for this girl. But i dont do drama, i dont play bs games, so shes out.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

having a baby with a bpd will ultimatey destroy you, I just passed 2 years, and have made very little progress.

feels like your on a burning ship, throwing water on the flames which turns out to be gasoline. the more you fight and try to save yourself the more the ships sinks. frustrating

just let the ship sink and die lol.

I'm getting be a sadist towards these woman and it feels good.

Seems she is a covert bpd/narc. Wouldn't be surprised if she was mirroring her bros behavior the entire time to suck you into her toxic world. The ones who throw no red flags in the beginning are the most dangerous ones. Some of them throw red flags from the get go like my ex. Non stop flags, but I kept ignoring them due to my deep feelings for her. The push/pull will destroy you if you dont know how to handle it. The only way to win is to not play their game. Unfortunately having children with one changes the entire game.


Be very cautious of the push/pull. She will try to destroy down to your core. It will turn your brain into mashed potatoes. Once you educate yourself to the gills and have all the knowledge on how they work, then and only then, will one be able to truly understand how these demons work. Also how to handle their push/tactics. Only talk to her when it's about the child and nothing else. Don't give her attention, don't feed into her bs/ego, don't let her get to you.

They feed of emtions, they need supply/control in order to survive. If it has nothing to do with the kid, then tell her we are done with this conversation. If you stand strong, act blunt to the point and dont show any emtions/anger/sadness she will hate you for that. Once she loses control, her world begins to crumble. It truly does feel like you are going to war when dealing with these demons. Like a spiritual battle between good n evil.

The smear campaign is a horrible evil tactic. It's amazing how they can turn everyone against you when you did nothing wrong. No matter how much proof you have of their damaging behaviors, they are great actors who will always play the victim role.

Reading all these posts about having kids with a bpd/narc gives me chills wondering what life would have been like. I have no doubt I'd be dead right now had I had those kids with her. Even tho its been over a year since she moved, mentally Im fuked.

 

[Focal core]

having a baby with a bpd will ultimatey destroy you, I just passed 2 years, and have made very little progress.

feels like your on a burning ship, throwing water on the flames which turns out to be gasoline. the more you fight and try to save yourself the more the ships sinks. frustrating

just let the ship sink and die lol.

I'm getting be a sadist towards these woman and it feels good.

Where i heard some countries has double standard law regrading child custody, most tend to bias towards women, dont give up, because of this too many men lost their child over being falsely accused by their ex, i know a folk who doesnt give a damn and continue to fight even being jailed several times by their exbpdw.

Ignore their mudslinging is the best advised so far and it works, put her balls in your courtyard dont hit it back. Be the boring greyrock, so far shes submiting far more picture of my kids than i expect to get my attention.

 

[Roober]

You were with this woman less than 3 years and managed to have 2 kids, and couldn't gauge her properly? Seems fishy to me...

With that, best advice is to ignore her. Only chat when absolutely necessary. Don't give up on your kids.

 

[stovepipe]

You were with this woman less than 3 years and managed to have 2 kids, and couldn't gauge her properly? Seems fishy to me...

Everyone's crazy radar works differently. Some Cluster B's hide behind their mask so well till a major commitment is made. Such as moving in together, having a child or getting married. The switch in their brain flips and the mask comes off. By then its too late, you fell for the trap hook line and sinker. They lie about who they are, what they've been through, when their mouths are moving they are lying. At the end of the day, they are master manipulators, master con artists.

 

[Focal core]

In our 2 years of marriage my gut keep teling me something was off, i scrouge everything her cellphone her whatsapp her calls i couldnt find anything other than a gut feels that she keep distancing and her behaviour quite strange, for example she would go for her social gathering at her place for half a day and when she got back from it she wouldnt look happy, instigate fight from it, avoiding my calls when at it.. It was very off feelings i got.

Yeah about child she always wants it from the day when we about to get married, the first child was use as a triangulation to her distancing tactic by her.. It seems natural the bond seems whole. And i wouldnt second guessing it, but lookingback it was clear.. Our second child was more off unplanned

I as well found a used black bra in our laundry that ive never seen she wearing it.. Now thats what i call fishy, i confront her about it but no logical answer from her.

from that moment on the crazy went up to the roof, everything is my fault, im too needy etc etc i feel like exploding, if im trying to do something good to treat myself outside the house she would accused me of being the terrible one leaving his wife behind, making her boring staying at home etc etc, hahahaha... When u trying to soothe her be close with her the push tactic will come into play again. U damned if u do and damned if u dont, everything is paradox.

The last few month when we are together she tried suicide by jumping from our hotel room window, i quickly grab her just because i didnt ask her what she wants to eat at the restaurant full of waiters.. The next day she made police report saying i beat her Lol.. Motha..countless police report out of no where.. Only knew after getting some court documents.