What frustrates me about dating vs making friends

[bigdave17]

I've realized that the reason I'm so great at making friends is because I've never cared about the outcome. I always just talked to people because I genuinely liked them and enjoyed spending time with them. I've been able to socialize without expecting anything and I've consistently made friends everywhere I went because people can sense that I'm a genuinely good person

I have not done this with women. I want it to happen so so so so badly that I just cannot get to know women without any kind of agenda...so in return I come across as desperate and girls run away from me

So long story short, how do I make myself get to know women with no agenda in mind? I feel like I will meet the right person when I least expect it

 

[The Diver]

How do I make myself get to know women with no agenda in mind?

When you'll start listening, and implementing the advises you already received here hundreds of times.
As a result of you ignoring the advices you already received here in the past,I sincerely think, giving you any more advices is waste of time.

 

[wifehunter]

I've realized that the reason I'm so great at making friends is because I've never cared about the outcome. I always just talked to people because I genuinely liked them and enjoyed spending time with them. I've been able to socialize without expecting anything and I've consistently made friends everywhere I went because people can sense that I'm a genuinely good person

I have not done this with women. I want it to happen so so so so badly that I just cannot get to know women without any kind of agenda...so in return I come across as desperate and girls run away from me

So long story short, how do I make myself get to know women with no agenda in mind? I feel like I will meet the right person when I least expect it

Leave sex out of the equation. Don't expect to get laid. But, don't have nonsexual frame either. Just frame it as happening sometime down the road.

Oh, and one more thing..

DON'T GIVE A FUKK!!!

 

[bigdave17]

Leave sex out of the equation. Don't expect to get laid. But, don't have nonsexual frame either. Just frame it as happening sometime down the road.

Oh, and one more thing..

DON'T GIVE A FUKK!!!

I'm desperate to have a relationship

I don't care about getting laid, seriously, doesn't even cross my mind...will happen when it happens...so I'm a weird dude. A man who wants to meet someone but is desperate for a relationship, not to get laid

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm desperate to have a relationship

I don't care about getting laid, seriously, doesn't even cross my mind...will happen when it happens...so I'm a weird dude. A man who wants to meet someone but is desperate for a relationship, not to get laid

Bigdave17, maybe if you worry about getting laid you'll have enough attraction for a real relationship.

 

[wifehunter]

Just forget about it for awhile.

You're off center.

Get your sh!t together, then revisit the idea of a relationship. Because, right now, you are in no condition to be in a relationship.

Find your mission.

 

[bigdave17]

Just forget about it for awhile.

You're off center.

Get your sh!t together, then revisit the idea of a relationship. Because, right now, you are in no condition to be in a relationship.

Find your mission.

do you not read my threads? the rest of my life is unbelievably perfect

 

[Glassguy]

OP is @ss backwards about the entirety of dealing with women.

 

[wifehunter]

do you not read my threads? the rest of my life is unbelievably perfect

sure buddy, whatever you say!

 

[Glassguy]

OP- your job as a man is to not go out chasing relationships.

Your job is a man is to go out with women, have a FUN and POSITIVE time so they relate their emotions to you has being FUN and POSITIVE ones. They slowly start to realize, over time, that they are developing a craving for those feelings that trace directly back to YOU.

You create an addiction through her emotions, while also carrying the frame that you are a MAN, which includes escalating for sex, being strong and being someone that everyone likes being around, so they will too.

I dont care what anyone says on this forum, but once you stick your d!ck in a woman, the entire complexion of the game changes. It makes it much easier to bury that emotional hook so deep in them they cant get enough, as long as you maintain what is working and dont go full blown beta.

About a year ago I got a really strange text message from a girl that I used to hook up with, who now has a serious bf. The text went something like this- "I know this will sound crazy, but it was Versace blue cologne that you always wore.....wasnt it?"

Apparently, her and her bf were checking out some colognes and they smelled that one. Instantly she remembered it and where she remembered it from. I asked her if her bf bought some and she basically told me that she steered him to another cologne because she didnt want to think of me and the FUN we had every time he wore it. She later told me that if it didnt work out with him, she would love to stop by sometime for a big whiff of MY Versace cologne lol.

When you are able to plant these emotional connections into women and the directly link it to you and all the good things about you, that is when you know that you are doing things right with women.

Be yourself, provide fun times by being a fun, positive person that everyone likes being around and escalate for sex one on one and women will eat it up. Plant the emotional seeds in their head, repeat and before long they will be asking you for exclusiveness, which is the way it should work.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yep, worry about having FUN and FVCKING when you can. One of the women will be descent enough for the LTR you desire. But if you go looking for a relationship it won't happen. You have to get her infatuated on you first.

 

[KingofPuss]

Ya broski, it sounds like you are nowhere near ready for this relationship. Just because I want McDonalds doesn't mean it's good for me.

My advice would be kind of ironic, but make some female friends. The great thing about this is that they have friends who have friends, and maybe your female friends are attractive themselves. Go out friday and saturday nights and try to meet as many people as possible with no goals or expectations except to get yourself out there. It'll happen without any realization.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I'm desperate to have a relationship

Yep, and the ladies can smell this a smile away.

But I guess it's easy making post after post than it is to actually TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

 

[Teddy_Beer]

I'm desperate to have a relationship

I don't care about getting laid, seriously, doesn't even cross my mind...will happen when it happens...so I'm a weird dude. A man who wants to meet someone but is desperate for a relationship, not to get laid

As long you have this mentality, a relationship is out of the question, as nothing kills attraction more than a man who reeks of desperation.

You need to work on fortifying yourself before seeking a mate.

 

[bigdave17]

OP- your job as a man is to not go out chasing relationships.

Your job is a man is to go out with women, have a FUN and POSITIVE time so they relate their emotions to you has being FUN and POSITIVE ones. They slowly start to realize, over time, that they are developing a craving for those feelings that trace directly back to YOU.

You create an addiction through her emotions, while also carrying the frame that you are a MAN, which includes escalating for sex, being strong and being someone that everyone likes being around, so they will too.

I dont care what anyone says on this forum, but once you stick your d!ck in a woman, the entire complexion of the game changes. It makes it much easier to bury that emotional hook so deep in them they cant get enough, as long as you maintain what is working and dont go full blown beta.

About a year ago I got a really strange text message from a girl that I used to hook up with, who now has a serious bf. The text went something like this- "I know this will sound crazy, but it was Versace blue cologne that you always wore.....wasnt it?"

Apparently, her and her bf were checking out some colognes and they smelled that one. Instantly she remembered it and where she remembered it from. I asked her if her bf bought some and she basically told me that she steered him to another cologne because she didnt want to think of me and the FUN we had every time he wore it. She later told me that if it didnt work out with him, she would love to stop by sometime for a big whiff of MY Versace cologne lol.

When you are able to plant these emotional connections into women and the directly link it to you and all the good things about you, that is when you know that you are doing things right with women.

Be yourself, provide fun times by being a fun, positive person that everyone likes being around and escalate for sex one on one and women will eat it up. Plant the emotional seeds in their head, repeat and before long they will be asking you for exclusiveness, which is the way it should work.

I agree 100% dude

The issue is I'm exactly like that when I'm on dates because I already know she likes me (she was willing to go out with me). I struggle to behave like that when I first meet them because I'm not sure if they like me and I desperately want them to like me - it's a combination of maybe insecurity (I feel like women and dating are impossible) and desperation (I'm so hungry for a relationship because I've never had one and have wanted one for 12 years)

 

[bigdave17]

As long you have this mentality, a relationship is out of the question, as nothing kills attraction more than a man who reeks of desperation.

You need to work on fortifying yourself before seeking a mate.

but what else can I do in terms of fortifying myself?

I already feel like the rest of my life outside of dating is perfect. Most guys who are desperate like me have screwed up lives and hope and pray that a GF can fix them. I don't need a woman to fix anything...I just badly crave a relationship as I've had zero true meaningful experience with women in my whole life (by meaningful I mean dating someone I had feelings for)

 

[Glassguy]

Insecurity and desperation are smelly traits around women.

You need to fix that instead of wasting leads. Your mindset is not close to being ready to date women right now.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

but what else can I do in terms of fortifying myself?

I already feel like the rest of my life outside of dating is perfect. Most guys who are desperate like me have screwed up lives and hope and pray that a GF can fix them. I don't need a woman to fix anything...I just badly crave a relationship as I've had zero true meaningful experience with women in my whole life (by meaningful I mean dating someone I had feelings for)

Get some female friends you can phvck. One of them will be your LTR. Worry about what it takes to get your D1ck wet. Overthinking these things, trying to reinvent the wheel have messed alot of us up.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I agree 100% dude

The issue is I'm exactly like that when I'm on dates because I already know she likes me (she was willing to go out with me). I struggle to behave like that when I first meet them because I'm not sure if they like me and I desperately want them to like me - it's a combination of maybe insecurity (I feel like women and dating are impossible) and desperation (I'm so hungry for a relationship because I've never had one and have wanted one for 12 years)

Dude, a woman doesn't have to like you to go on a date. She maybe wanted free entertainment or a free meal. Worry about them opening their legs. If you haven't gotten intimate within 30 days of dating then move to another with more interested.

 

[Glassguy]

Dude, a woman doesn't have to like you to go on a date. She maybe wanted free entertainment or a free meal. Worry about them opening their legs. If you haven't gotten intimate within 30 days of dating then move to another with more interested.

30 days? Holy shyte.

If I like the chick and think the feeling is mutual, I am escalating to further determine her interest level. There have been occasions where I really "liked" certain things about a girl on the first date and didnt escalate for sex due to didnt want to lose interest in her quickly. But I always escalate to see where she stands, whether it be a kiss in the middle of the date, grabbing her hand or a kiss at the end. You have to do something to figure out where its at or you are leaving yourself clueless.

If I was out on a date that I thought was going well for both sides, I am definitely moving in for a kiss at the end or even in the middle of the date. If she turns her head and gives me the cheek I am probably not going to initiate contact afterwards.

Its 2018. I am a man, they are women. Both genders like physical kino, kissing and sex.