Games women play and how to deal with them

[ibew_bro]

Hey guys, Im new to the board so if this question has been answered in another thread please dont bite my head off! A little background..Im 48 year old divorced guy. Ive been divorced 6 years now..I date from time to time but its a bit hard as I do not drive because I cannot get a license due to past activities. So its a bit hard for me and maybe the reason I put up with the BS I do but thats another story..I have always been pretty good with women but it seems since my divorce and the loss of my license something is off! I met this women about 4 years ago who was married and said she was going threw a divorce.. We started hooking up which lasted about a month until she started flaking on me..She flaked on me a few times and I was cool about it because she would always have the excuse she couldnt get away and I would understand due to her situation with being married. One day she told me she was going to come by and never did..Being she already flaked a number of times I let her have it the next day when she said she was sorry.. I pretty much told her if thats how things are going to be then just work **** out with your husband..Anyway, That led to us not speaking for a while.. A month or so later she emails me and we start talking back n forth. Being she emailed me I felt there must be interest there so I tried to make plans to hook up with her..She said that she wants to but wouldnt give me a definite answer to when..She would always have a excuse that she is busy and lets see what happens next week..Anyway, Next week never came and I stopped hearing from her..A month or 2 later same deal. She contacts me and the same crap..This stuff has been going on for 4 years now! She will email me ask how I am, We will go back n forth a few times for a day or so then off the map she goes..Not to long ago I took her off my facebook page and she emailed me asking what she did wrong..I pretty much told her that I am tired of the cat n mouse games..She said she understands but she has been very busy yadda yadda..I dont hear from her for about a month and she starts emailing me again..Im not looking to make this women my girlfriend or wife but I did have some fun with her in the sack and I guess Im looking for the best way to make that happen again but Im not sure how to play it...Should I totally ignore her? Should I just be friendly with her when she contacts me but not mention hooking up anymore like I have been doing? There are bad points to either one though! If I totally ignore her she may just forget about me totally which doesnt get her into the sack again at all. But on the other side of the coin I feel that even with me just answering her at all make her feel she can still have me which lowers her interest..Im thinking of just being brutally honest with her and telling her that I still want to hook up with her and not to contact me until she is ready to do so! Its a shame we have to play these games at this day and age..In the 80's and 90's I dont remember any of this! Anyway, Any good advice without telling me to buy a book on seduction would be great!
Thanks guys!

 

[Machine10033]

I am far from an expert but it appears to me that she is running the show. Women are very perceptive and when she flaked on you with the no show and you lost it on her shows you care far more than she does. Plus you continued on with her.. so subconsciously she knows she can crap on you and still string you along.



she is reaching out to you when she is bored that is it. I know because I have done this with some girls. You need to get out and experience other women and forget about this one. The trick to deal with games is not playing them. Just always go out with the intention of having the best time you can. If a girl no shows you again don't think what type of game she's playing just drop her.

 

[Derrick 1]

Boy I hear ya man!! I'm 51, been divorced 5 years, was married for 20. I don't remember playing all these games, I'm guessing there was a lot more to choose from in are 20s. I remember girls getting flaky and I would just move on (next). At are age there just isn't as many cute girls to get and there a lot more complicated know.
I have a dozen or sow 4 and 5 chasing me but I'm just not interested. Looking for that unicorn. But anyways back to you. I would just keep hooking up and enjoy it but never look at her as being LTR material. Don't waist a lot of time on her unless your bored. Sounds like to me she's just wanting a hookup and emotional boost from you know and then, she may have a couple other guys she's doing this with two. Good luck.

 

[ibew_bro]

I am far from an expert but it appears to me that she is running the show. Women are very perceptive and when she flaked on you with the no show and you lost it on her shows you care far more than she does. Plus you continued on with her.. so subconsciously she knows she can crap on you and still string you along.



she is reaching out to you when she is bored that is it. I know because I have done this with some girls. You need to get out and experience other women and forget about this one. The trick to deal with games is not playing them. Just always go out with the intention of having the best time you can. If a girl no shows you again don't think what type of game she's playing just drop her.

It wasnt so much that I cared, I find myself lonely at times and with her saying she was coming, Then not showing, It killed the night for me because I was waiting on her..When I told her off I should have just told her to atleast have the decency to let me know if she cant make it because I could have made other plans..Instead I blew up...
I get what you are saying though..In other words dont worry about how to bed her again, Just dump her and move on..Dont even answer her at all when she emails or calls? Whether she comes back or not doesnt matter as she is not the right one for me if she plays games. Trying to get in bed with her again shouldnt be the goal. Being with a cool chick should be and if she isnt then bye bye.. I guess I have to have higher standards!

 

[ibew_bro]

Boy I hear ya man!! I'm 51, been divorced 5 years, was married for 20. I don't remember playing all these games, I'm guessing there was a lot more to choose from in are 20s. I remember girls getting flaky and I would just move on (next). At are age there just isn't as many cute girls to get and there a lot more complicated know.
I have a dozen or sow 4 and 5 chasing me but I'm just not interested. Looking for that unicorn. But anyways back to you. I would just keep hooking up and enjoy it but never look at her as being LTR material. Don't waist a lot of time on her unless your bored. Sounds like to me she's just wanting a hookup and emotional boost from you know and then, she may have a couple other guys she's doing this with two. Good luck.

Problem is, Im not hooking up with her anymore! lol...Yeah the 80's and 90's were definitely different! I think people got to smart for their own good and starting playing all these stupid F@kn games! Honestly, I think women our age play more games than 16 year olds..16 year olds go with their hearts because they havent been threw the mill yet..Women our age were used, abused, and hurt so their defense is now to play games which will eventually hurt them when they find themselves alone at 70 when no one wants them! Its really a hard call for men though! It doesnt take much for me to answer a email and say hello in return. So it makes me say, "why not" So I reply..On the other hand answering those emails may be making me look weak by still showing interest which in turn leads to nadda!! Who really knows! I think the best bet maybe what Machine mentioned to just dump her instead of trying to play games...I can play hardball all I want and not answer her emails or calls but the minute she emails me that she wants to come over to screw around, What am I going to say? Of course YES! Right at that point, she will know I still want her and probably flake on coming over because her ego is now content.I think best bet is to expect higher standards and dump women who play games instead of playing games in return by trying to look strong and disinterested in order to try and change the outcome. . Instead just seriously dump them with no intention of hooking up again. Then again there are others that will say who cares what she thinks! If we men drop our ego and expectations and just keep her in the loop and not give a **** if your hooking up with her or not, She may one day decide for whatever reason she wants to come over and screw..Thats not a bad attitude either as long as you do not care if she ever does! Confusing **** to decide what the best route to take is!

 

[Derrick 1]

I think you're spot on! I agree just drop them and move on (next)! If they come back and you can stay emotionally unattached, go for it have a little fun. I don't know about you but casual sex isn't quite as fafilling for me as it is having someone you care about. Poke talked about this towards the end of his posts. Don't get me wrong sex is great but when you've had it with someone your in love with it's not the same. I think the good looking women our age are trying to find that unicorn just like us. I just keep on trying to better myself (like quit smoking) and I really believe like attracts like. I keep getting out there and enjoying the things I love and that's where I've met some fun girls.

 

[ibew_bro]

bttt

 

[guru1000]

How to deal with games? You don't. Grab your sack and disappear.

Treasures are only for KINGs, not pvzzies.

 

[The Duke]

Most all of these games women play can be chalked up to low interest on their part. Recognizing the signs and removing yourself from these types is the best thing to do. Better to spend your time on women that are more receptive to your desires. Women with high interest will be very accommodating.

 

[ubercat]

Just keep prospecting until you have three plates. Then it's easy. Any girl who gives you any static you just see her less. If you haven't seen her for a couple of weeks you need a new third plate..simples.

 

[ibew_bro]

Most all of these games women play can be chalked up to low interest on their part. Recognizing the signs and removing yourself from these types is the best thing to do. Better to spend your time on women that are more receptive to your desires. Women with high interest will be very accommodating.

I get it but she keeps contacting me with nonsense like how are you? Any wedding bells yet? Crap like that..I used to try and get her to come over but that failed on numerous occasions so now, I just take it with a grain of salt and message back a few times then tell her I have to run keep in touch which is a Corey Wayne move..Am I playing the game right or should I not even answer? I want to bed her again so I dont want to totally lose contact. I feel, if I completely ignore her and she says F@#k it, She may never reach out again..So, I keep the conversation light and short whenever she emails me or is it making me look weak just answering her at all? Some guys say, It cant hurt and its not taking much of your time so why not..Other guys to say totally ignore her..

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I get it but she keeps contacting me with nonsense like how are you? Any wedding bells yet? Crap like that..I used to try and get her to come over but that failed on numerous occasions so now, I just take it with a grain of salt and message back a few times then tell her I have to run keep in touch which is a Corey Wayne move..Am I playing the game right or should I not even answer? I want to bed her again so I dont want to totally lose contact. I feel, if I completely ignore her and she says F@#k it, She may never reach out again..So, I keep the conversation light and short whenever she emails me or is it making me look weak just answering her at all? Some guys say, It cant hurt and its not taking much of your time so why not..Other guys to say totally ignore her..

That's your only choice is to totally ignore her. If she not trying to get together what is she trying to do? Huh, see if your still on the hook? That's okay for you? Don't talk to her unless she's trying to get together.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hey guys, Im new to the board so if this question has been answered in another thread please dont bite my head off! A little background..Im 48 year old divorced guy. Ive been divorced 6 years now..I date from time to time but its a bit hard as I do not drive because I cannot get a license due to past activities. So its a bit hard for me and maybe the reason I put up with the BS I do but thats another story..I have always been pretty good with women but it seems since my divorce and the loss of my license something is off! I met this women about 4 years ago who was married and said she was going threw a divorce.. We started hooking up which lasted about a month until she started flaking on me..She flaked on me a few times and I was cool about it because she would always have the excuse she couldnt get away and I would understand due to her situation with being married. One day she told me she was going to come by and never did..Being she already flaked a number of times I let her have it the next day when she said she was sorry.. I pretty much told her if thats how things are going to be then just work **** out with your husband..Anyway, That led to us not speaking for a while.. A month or so later she emails me and we start talking back n forth. Being she emailed me I felt there must be interest there so I tried to make plans to hook up with her..She said that she wants to but wouldnt give me a definite answer to when..She would always have a excuse that she is busy and lets see what happens next week..Anyway, Next week never came and I stopped hearing from her..A month or 2 later same deal. She contacts me and the same crap..This stuff has been going on for 4 years now! She will email me ask how I am, We will go back n forth a few times for a day or so then off the map she goes..Not to long ago I took her off my facebook page and she emailed me asking what she did wrong..I pretty much told her that I am tired of the cat n mouse games..She said she understands but she has been very busy yadda yadda..I dont hear from her for about a month and she starts emailing me again..Im not looking to make this women my girlfriend or wife but I did have some fun with her in the sack and I guess Im looking for the best way to make that happen again but Im not sure how to play it...Should I totally ignore her? Should I just be friendly with her when she contacts me but not mention hooking up anymore like I have been doing? There are bad points to either one though! If I totally ignore her she may just forget about me totally which doesnt get her into the sack again at all. But on the other side of the coin I feel that even with me just answering her at all make her feel she can still have me which lowers her interest..Im thinking of just being brutally honest with her and telling her that I still want to hook up with her and not to contact me until she is ready to do so! Its a shame we have to play these games at this day and age..In the 80's and 90's I dont remember any of this! Anyway, Any good advice without telling me to buy a book on seduction would be great!
Thanks guys!

The way you deal with women's bull**** is NEXT SET! Not in the mood? Next Set. Doesn't swallow? Next set.

 

[wifehunter]

walk away

 

[btownbuck2012]

Here's how you cut through the bullsh*t: Is she receptive to your advances?

You won't get anywhere with a woman who is playing games but has no interest in you - she'll not get rid of you or shut you down because attention is like crack to women. High IL women will also feign disinterest, flake and expect you to pursue AND if you do you'll eventually wind up naked with them. That's the difference. I follow the TWO strike rule these days.

I also used to think that women who put up NO resistance whatsoever were the unicorns, i.e. the ones who truly held you up as an alpha in their eyes, but anymore I see her being "too easy", not slutty but not sh*t testing whatsoever or putting up any type of resistance whatsoever as a red flag.

 

[ibew_bro]

Here's how you cut through the bullsh*t: Is she receptive to your advances?

You won't get anywhere with a woman who is playing games but has no interest in you - she'll not get rid of you or shut you down because attention is like crack to women. High IL women will also feign disinterest, flake and expect you to pursue AND if you do you'll eventually wind up naked with them. That's the difference. I follow the TWO strike rule these days.

I also used to think that women who put up NO resistance whatsoever were the unicorns, i.e. the ones who truly held you up as an alpha in their eyes, but anymore I see her being "too easy", not slutty but not sh*t testing whatsoever or putting up any type of resistance whatsoever as a red flag.

High IL? What is that? So in other words just drop her...When she contact me do not respond at all..Am I reading this correctly?

 

[ibew_bro]

bttt