Banged an old plate, should I reach out?

[AJ84]

Thanks for this, I think you hit the nail exactly on the head with your analysis. Doubt the other guy is around and she may very well be looking for something serious. I'm not, so we will see. Would you reach out to her again, and if so, when?

FYI I'm a female.



Of the three options you listed I would do option 1 or 2. Don't do 3 and don't get roped into dinner unless that's something that you want to do as well. And if so yeah the wine bar with the drink option sounds good.

Balls in her court by you're still holding the racket (ie the one who determines if it's going to be anything more than causal for you). She knows this too and may try to change it so you can either try to game her around that or just be upfront and say you enjoyed the time you guys had in the past and are not looking for anything serious but would be up for resuming things because (throw in some validating comments like she's fun to hang with, good in bed etc).
Being upfront may be more risky but may also prevent a slew of tests and other headaches that will defeat the whole purpose of having her as a plate. Then it's on her if she proceeds than catches feelings. Also if you are upfront with her from the start you can be just as upfront if she tries to manipulate you into something more ("remember I said I wasn't looking for anything serious?").
And of course continuing meeting other girls regardless.

 

[foolyoufool]

FYI I'm a female.



Of the three options you listed I would do option 1 or 2. Don't do 3 and don't get roped into dinner unless that's something that you want to do as well. And if so yeah the wine bar with the drink option sounds good.

Balls in her court by you're still holding the racket (ie the one who determines if it's going to be anything more than causal for you). She knows this too and may try to change it so you can either try to game her around that or just be upfront and say you enjoyed the time you guys had in the past and are not looking for anything serious but would be up for resuming things because (throw in some validating comments like she's fun to hang with, good in bed etc).
Being upfront may be more risky but may also prevent a slew of tests and other headaches that will defeat the whole purpose of having her as a plate. Then it's on her if she proceeds than catches feelings. Also if you are upfront with her from the start you can be just as upfront if she tries to manipulate you into something more ("remember I said I wasn't looking for anything serious?").
And of course continuing meeting other girls regardless.

I already reached out to her with option 3 and posted her response on the previous page.

Dating her isn’t completely out of the question, she checks a lot of boxes for me but I would need to get to spend a lot more time with her based on her past behavior with the other guy.

So you’d recommend I try to reschedule in a couple weeks?

 

[AJ84]

I already reached out to her with option 3 and posted her response on the previous page.

Dating her isn’t completely out of the question, she checks a lot of boxes for me but I would need to get to spend a lot more time with her based on her past behavior with the other guy.

So you’d recommend I try to reschedule in a couple weeks?

If you already reached out with option 3 then I would suggest not reaching out again, waiting and seeing if she responds but don't limit your options to her. If you have other girls you are chatting with I would continue to do that and if you don't have other girls you are chatting with get out there and do so lol.

I'm suggesting this because while she checks off boxes, you're still in screening mode which is smart. If she's the only girl you are in contact with it will influence how you consider her. Like what the guys call oneitis. A girl who is the only option you have may look better to you than she should, know what I mean?

You are single and free to see whoever you want so having options at least will help you come to a more well rounded decision about whether this girl is worthy of more than being a plate, right now, based on how she is responding, I would say no but not my call.

 

[foolyoufool]

If you already reached out with option 3 then I would suggest not reaching out again, waiting and seeing if she responds but don't limit your options to her. If you have other girls you are chatting with I would continue to do that and if you don't have other girls you are chatting with get out there and do so lol.

I'm suggesting this because while she checks off boxes, you're still in screening mode which is smart. If she's the only girl you are in contact with it will influence how you consider her. Like what the guys call oneitis. A girl who is the only option you have may look better to you than she should, know what I mean?

You are single and free to see whoever you want so having options at least will help you come to a more well rounded decision about whether this girl is worthy of more than being a plate, right now, based on how she is responding, I would say no but not my call.

I agree with you 100%. Gonna put her on the back burner for at least a few weeks.

Could I get your opinion on another situation with one of my plates? I made a quick thread about her in the link below. I haven't heard from her yet and it's been almost a month, I'm considering reaching out and asking her to drinks. Looking forward to your thoughts.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/am-i-being-impatient.245561/#post-2499914

 

[AJ84]

I agree with you 100%. Gonna put her on the back burner for at least a few weeks.

Could I get your opinion on another situation with one of my plates? I made a quick thread about her in the link below. I haven't heard from her yet and it's been almost a month, I'm considering reaching out and asking her to drinks. Looking forward to your thoughts.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/am-i-being-impatient.245561/#post-2499914

Even if she was still settling in an interested girl would at least text with some kind of an update 'hey, still getting settled back but looking forward meeting up I will text you when things are less crazy lol'. Or something like that.

She reached out but hasn't contacted you since. Flakey. I would leave it at that and go about your business.

If she ever reaches out again and you are interested and free to meet up because she's fun etc then no harm in that but I wouldn't break existing plans or go out of my way to see her, only if it's convenient for you.

 

[foolyoufool]

Even if she was still settling in a girl would at least text with some kind of an update 'hey, still getting settled back but looking forward meeting up I will text you when things are less crazy lol'. Or something like that.

She reached out but hasn't contacted you since. Flakey. I would leave it at that and go about your business.

If she ever reaches out again and you are interested and free to meet up because she's fun etc then no harm in that but I wouldn't break existing plans or go out of my way to see her, only if it's convenient for you.

She was extremely flaky in the past. Almost always late whenever we would meet up. But she's a very fun girl so I would put up with it.

Historically I was usually the one initiating contact and asking to hang out, but she was usually responsive until things started going south. Waiting for the girl to start chasing me is kind of a new practice for me, but I'll take your advice and move on until I hear back.

 

[foolyoufool]

So an update on this story...

C reached out to me earlier this week to go out for dinner/drinks. Went out with her last night and had a good date. Thanks everyone for your help with the text game and keeping my head in check.