I always thought the reason most guys are in sex-less miserable marriages is because they're beta

[bigdave17]

but even my 6'3 Italian, jacked, manly but super chill, decent looking sales manager who makes 180K a year says his wife has become horrible after marriage/kids, says she bitches over tons of extremely petty things, she has zero sex drive. She is Polish I think.


Seriously, is it even possible to get married/have kids and still be happy and have a normal sex life nowadays? Why does everybody get married when it's an easy road to complete misery?

 

[RichardTheFrog]

but even my 6'3 Italian, jacked, manly but super chill, decent looking sales manager who makes 180K a year says his wife has become horrible after marriage/kids, says she bitches over tons of extremely petty things, she has zero sex drive. She is Polish I think.


Seriously, is it even possible to get married/have kids and still be happy and have a normal sex life nowadays? Why does everybody get married when it's an easy road to complete misery?

To have kids.

To answer the question, I've never seen it.

But also noticed that in previous generations like 2-4 generations ago, people seemed to have less sex? Because they were all Christian and sh1t.

 

[logicallefty]

Seriously, is it even possible to get married/have kids and still be happy and have a normal sex life nowadays? Why does everybody get married when it's an easy road to complete misery?

I can't speak from having a successful marriage because I am the mother fvcker on here who has been married 1.5 times so my marriage experience is about as fvcked up as it gets. But from what I have learned and observed from others: I think if a man today wants a successful marriage he needs to get a hold of a very young woman 20-24 even maybe 18-19 before she gets used and jaded. Then he must have a diamond strength frame with her. He must have unbreakable bounderies. It must be to the point that she borderline fears him. If she fears him enough then she would never stray outside her boundaries because she doesn't know WTF he will do and she doesn't want to find out. If he can do that and also at the same time pound that cooter really good, I think he might have a chance at hanging onto her when her urges to stray and go ride the c0ck carousel kick in in her mid 20s. Or when that divorce bug hits her in her early-mid 30s. I have said this in other posts before, the 30s are the most dangerous in a marriage. I think if a man can manage to frame a woman early and then make it through the 30s, he is home free the rest of his life after that. But its no picnic to achieve this. I haven't yet done so.

 

[Trainwreck]

Marriage is simply designed for women and insecure beta men. You will turn beta because that’s what it is designed to do.

 

[RangerMIke]

Treat your wife like the petulant teenage child she is and you will be able to keep her. @logicallefty is correct. You can do it, but it takes a lot of work on your part... you cannot get complacent and you can not crack. You MUST be a mountain that can not be moved. She will b!tch and cry to her friends about was an @sshole you are and how you never give in blah blah blah. But she will not be b!tching at you because you are going to walk the fvck away from her BS.

You MUST be prepared to walk away at any moment, and you have to take care of yourself and your personal life to the point where other chicks are going to want you. And she has to believe that you will leave her and start fvcking another chick the day after you dump her.

I will NEVER do this because it's not worth it. There are too many chicks and they are all the same... why in the fvck would you torture yourself over one chick when you can just plug and play another one.

 

[marmel75]

The issue is people marry people they argue with all the time before getting married...
If you are in a serious argument with someone more than once a week you shouldnt be with that person, let alone trying to marry them. Marriage will make that 10 times worse.

Incompatible personalities fester the longer they are together like acid corrodes metal...eventually it eats right through it.

 

[user43770]

Marriage is simply designed for women and insecure beta men. You will turn beta because that’s what it is designed to do.

I agree that it inevitably makes men less than we should be, but...

It's the best way to raise offspring, and unless we're planning on conceding Western Civilization, maybe we should figure out a way to make it fashionable again.

 

[Bayne05]

That's because these men marry women who have sex on her terms not his. Low sex drive women are extremely selfish, they never put her boyfriends/husbands needs first. Everytime you wanna fvck you have to move heaven and earth just to get a reward of mediocre sex.

 

[Roober]

I was married 10 years, but the sex never really changed. It was infrequent from day 1 and I just believed at the time I was supposed to accept that. But I also wasn't doing my part at the time of being a good lover, which I did not realize till about a year ago. We would go spurts of longer periods of time like 3-4 weeks sometimes, but in average I would say once a week over the whole marriage.

@RangerMIke. Had it right that you need to treat your woman like a child and ride her emotions. All women throw fits and all women will test you to some extent. But you do not waver and you stick to your values. Most men fail to understand that these little emotional outbursts are a cry for attention and she wants to feel your strength, not your surrender to her.

Another big thing is kids. During those first couple years, having to lead a normal life and tend to young lives that are completely dependent on you 24 hours a day is exhausting. So now you have to navigate your woman, your kids and your exhaustion, it leads to surrender for most men. When men surrender, women leave.

 

[user43770]

I was married 10 years, but the sex never really changed. It was infrequent from day 1 and I just believed at the time I was supposed to accept that. But I also wasn't doing my part at the time of being a good lover, which I did not realize till about a year ago. We would go spurts of longer periods of time like 3-4 weeks sometimes, but in average I would say once a week over the whole marriage.

@RangerMIke. Had it right that you need to treat your woman like a child and ride her emotions. All women throw fits and all women will test you to some extent. But you do not waver and you stick to your values. Most men fail to understand that these little emotional outbursts are a cry for attention and she wants to feel your strength, not your surrender to her.

Another big thing is kids. During those first couple years, having to lead a normal life and tend to young lives that are completely dependent on you 24 hours a day is exhausting. So now you have to navigate your woman, your kids and your exhaustion, it leads to surrender for most men. When men surrender, women leave.

One of the complaints I hear a lot on sosuave is that the woman stopped desiring sex as much eventually.

But did you not also? I mean, the sex didn't get boring to you after a while?

@logicallefty @marmel75

 

[hockeyfreak79]

but even my 6'3 Italian, jacked, manly but super chill, decent looking sales manager who makes 180K a year says his wife has become horrible after marriage/kids, says she bitches over tons of extremely petty things, she has zero sex drive. She is Polish I think.

Seriously, is it even possible to get married/have kids and still be happy and have a normal sex life nowadays? Why does everybody get married when it's an easy road to complete misery?

It's the bluepill society/social driven norm, it's the fairy tale with the white picket fence. But if you look at statistics marriage rates are dropping more than they ever have in modern history, so not exactly everybody is getting married.

While my marriage did fail it wasn't at all a complete misery, for 1 I lucked out. My ex wife had a high libido and sex was never an issue, well at least for me it wasn't. But the dreaded 7yr itch is real! We didn't have kids so divorce was pretty straightforward and relatively easy. Just because something fails doesn't mean life is going to be misery, it's just a temporary condition. You dust yourself off and get back in the game.

Men love woman, woman love children, children love puppies. A woman will never love you the way you think she should, so go ahead and accept that now.
Sounds like someone needs to read the bible again, plenty of answers in there.

 

[user43770]

Men love woman, woman love children, children love puppies. A woman will never love you the way you think so should, so go ahead and accept that now.

Easy there. I love puppies.

 

[Macaframalama]

Marriage is simply designed for women and insecure beta men. You will turn beta because that’s what it is designed to do.

FOH with that bullchit. You sound as bad as the feminists and cultural marxists'.

 

[Urbanyst]

Marriage is simply designed for women and insecure beta men. You will turn beta because that’s what it is designed to do.

Marriage is an insurance policy for post-wall aging females. It is designed to ensure a woman is treated as if she has the same VALUE she did in her 20's lol.

Yeah.. its stupid as sh*t for a man to get married in 99% of cases. A lot of guys let family, religious and social pressure control their lives and make them do stupid sh*t that isn't in their best interest.

If you want to get married you better make it a very calculated move design for you to come out on top legally and financially. Otherwise, avoid.

 

[highSpeed]

Treat your wife like the petulant teenage child she is and you will be able to keep her. @logicallefty is correct. You can do it, but it takes a lot of work on your part... you cannot get complacent and you can not crack. You MUST be a mountain that can not be moved. She will b!tch and cry to her friends about was an @sshole you are and how you never give in blah blah blah. But she will not be b!tching at you because you are going to walk the fvck away from her BS.

You MUST be prepared to walk away at any moment, and you have to take care of yourself and your personal life to the point where other chicks are going to want you. And she has to believe that you will leave her and start fvcking another chick the day after you dump her.

I will NEVER do this because it's not worth it. There are too many chicks and they are all the same... why in the fvck would you torture yourself over one chick when you can just plug and play another one.

never going to work, sorry. After having been married two times (yes, two times the stupidity), it doesn't work. After no fault divorce and the free love generation, marriage is over, stick a fork in it. She doesn't have to "listen" and she knows it. You've got as much chance of her "listening" as you do trying to grip sand in your hands. The tighter you squeeze, the more sand you lose. If you have anything, she knows she gets half. If you have kids, she knows she gets them. From the get go, she's incentivized to be arrogant, self centered, confrontational and egocentric because there's no punishment for bad behavior. You're right, most women never advance past petulant teenage children but it's not going to change with how you treat her. The laws these days have entitled her and she knows it, a dangerous combination. DON'T GET MARRIED!!!! It's a losing game unless you're with the absolute perfect woman and those are almost all gone by the time early to mid twenties approach because the guys that have come into contact with those women lock them up.

 

[Macaframalama]

Women should have never been given the opportunity to vote, but you can't rely on all men to be fair and now you have policy makers appealing to the women's vote. I'm not saying women aren't equal, just that men and women have their own place and neither can fulfill the role of the other. The feminist movement has destroyed what the idea of marriage is supposed to be. Both sexes better get their chit together, because the family unit is the only thing standing in the way of globalism and ultimately enslavement of men and women alike. This anti-marriage stance, that some push in the manosphere is just as bad as the feminazi agenda. They both peddle the same mantra of a rootless society, that has no leg of sustainability to stand on.

 

[user43770]

Women should have never been given the opportunity to vote, but you can't rely on all men to be fair and now you have policy makers appealing to the women's vote. I'm not saying women aren't equal, just that men and women have their own place and neither can fulfill the role of the other. The feminist movement has destroyed what the idea of marriage is supposed to be. Both sexes better get their chit together, because the family unit is the only thing standing in the way of globalism and ultimately enslavement of men and women alike. This anti-marriage stance, that some push in the manosphere is just as bad as the feminazi agenda. They both peddle the same mantra of a rootless society, that has no leg of sustainability to stand on.

It's all fvcking orchestrated, man.

These days, all men of the West do is focus on instant gratification and exclaim the benefits of not propagating. Hell, I do it myself!

Talk about a war being won without drawing a sword...

 

[logicallefty]

One of the complaints I hear a lot on sosuave is that the woman stopped desiring sex as much eventually.

But did you not also? I mean, the sex didn't get boring to you after a while?

@logicallefty @marmel75

Boring, kinda sorta. For me it went down like this: The compound stress from work at various stages of my life combined with the stress at home from fighting and dealing with a woman's BS made me just too damn tired and worn out for sex. It wasn't that I was sick of her physically. I just didn't desire sex with her because I was too damn tired and sick of her sh|t to want it.

A story from my first marriage. This is really true I swear: Wife and I were talking about having kids before our daughter was born. She wanted kids, I wasn't ready. She said the whole "its my body and I will decide when I get pregnant". I said "Yeah, and it's my c0ck and I will decide where I stick it".. I did not touch her for 6 MONTHS! I refused sex. She was going crazy. I don't think she cheated but maybe she did. She bought a crap load of female toys I know that. lol Finally I was driving home from work one day from an out of town meeting. I remember to this day the spot I was at on the Interstate. Just north of Springfield, Illinois on I55. All the sudden it hit me. I said "you know, I think I am ready for kids now".. I went home that night and pounded her and eventually the stork brought our daughter. But it was on MY terms, not just hers. To this day when I pass thru that spot on the Interstate I think about it.

 

[Macaframalama]

It's all fvcking orchestrated, man.

These days, all men of the West do is focus on instant gratification and exclaim the benefits of not propagating. Hell, I do it myself!

Talk about a war being won without drawing a sword...

I agree and I'm guilty of indulging in a little debauchery myself. Lol. My conscience, due to my upbringing eventually rien me in. That's the importance of the family unit in my eyes. The collective thought and the fabric of morality and virtue that keeps us "rooted". It's the accountability, the checks and balances, that keep society stable. I won't call someone friend if they don't have the backbone to call me out and bring it to my attention that I'm slipping up, so i live that as much as I speak it and I firmly believe that judgement has its place as well. It does seem like a lost cause sometimes. Our world leaders are chit for the most part. I'm just not ready to quit. It's our fight to be fought.

 

[user43770]

I just didn't desire sex with her because I was too damn tired and sick of her sh|t to want it.

This was my point and is what I can relate to most from your story...

but an entertaining story it was. I love hearing about experiences from the 'battle scarred vets.'