Just coming out of 10 year relationship/marriage...

[tlb1980]

Hi everyone,

First of all, wish I'd found this place in my late teens! Looks like a gold mine for learning about how to be successful with women.

As my title mentions I've just come out the other end of a 10 year relationship/marriage and looking forward to getting back out there at 37.

If I'm completely honest I settled for my wife as i never had the confidence to approach women and she made the move on me. before that, my default was to get drunk in clubs and hope someone would approach me... which did happen but rarely women I'd find attractive when sober.

im determined to get over this lack of confidence i previously had with women. I definitely feel more sure of myself now but still feel nervous around attractive women.

i've lifted weights since my early twenties so I'm in great shape for any age and I'm told I look like I'm around 30.

I recently found out that a girl who used to work on my floor finds me attractive. I've never spoken to her. she told a few a couple of my colleagues at a party and was asking where I was.

I'm wondering how to approach her, i don't want to get too anxious and screw it up as I've always found her really attractive (so do most of my colleagues)shes in her early twenties which rightly or wrongly doesn't bother me.

is there a different path of recommended reading on this site for men my age or is it a case of reading everything?

is there anything in particular I should be looking to take on board and apply to the woman I mention above?

thanks in advance!

 

[sosousage]

Read dj bible http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-dj-bible-has-moved.233326/

 

[speed dawg]

Hi everyone,

First of all, wish I'd found this place in my late teens! Looks like a gold mine for learning about how to be successful with women.

As my title mentions I've just come out the other end of a 10 year relationship/marriage and looking forward to getting back out there at 37.

If I'm completely honest I settled for my wife as i never had the confidence to approach women and she made the move on me. before that, my default was to get drunk in clubs and hope someone would approach me... which did happen but rarely women I'd find attractive when sober.

im determined to get over this lack of confidence i previously had with women. I definitely feel more sure of myself now but still feel nervous around attractive women.

i've lifted weights since my early twenties so I'm in great shape for any age and I'm told I look like I'm around 30.

I recently found out that a girl who used to work on my floor finds me attractive. I've never spoken to her. she told a few a couple of my colleagues at a party and was asking where I was.

I'm wondering how to approach her, i don't want to get too anxious and screw it up as I've always found her really attractive (so do most of my colleagues)shes in her early twenties which rightly or wrongly doesn't bother me.

is there a different path of recommended reading on this site for men my age or is it a case of reading everything?

is there anything in particular I should be looking to take on board and apply to the woman I mention above?

thanks in advance!

First advice I'd give you would be to stay the h*ll away from a coworker, especially in this day and age. For 2 reasons: 1 - the obvious, 2 - you'll see how your aloof behavior will ramp up her attraction to you. If you really need p*ssy that bad, just spank it or something. Or go find it elsewhere.

Second advice, keep working out, that's paramount.

Third, start thinking about the things YOU want to do in life. Not what others are doing, not what others said you should do, and not what your ex-wife said you should do. What do YOU want?

 

[tlb1980]

First advice I'd give you would be to stay the h*ll away from a coworker, especially in this day and age. For 2 reasons: 1 - the obvious, 2 - you'll see how your aloof behavior will ramp up her attraction to you. If you really need p*ssy that bad, just spank it or something. Or go find it elsewhere.

Second advice, keep working out, that's paramount.

Third, start thinking about the things YOU want to do in life. Not what others are doing, not what others said you should do, and not what your ex-wife said you should do. What do YOU want?

she works in another department and I barely come into contact anymore with her. I bumped into her at a random work party s few weeks back and I've heard about her through colleagues who saw her at another work party that I didn't attend.

To be honest regardless of the potential negative implications I'm not sure how to approach her anyway. I never see her at work anymore and randomly starting a chat on work coms or adding her on Facebook feels to me like it may come across a bit weird.... but if she does like me, who knows?

I certainly won't be giving the weights up now, never missed more than a a couple of weeks in nearly 20 years!

My main priority at the moment is to become financially independent asap. I'm running a business outside of work which is doing extremely well. at the rate it's going I should have my mortgage covered/paid off in the next few months. it means my life is pretty much made up of gym/work/business for now but I see it as worth the short term sacrifice for long term gain - tbh not to much of a sacrifice, I enjoy seeing my bank balance go up and up.

I have an obsessive/driven personality and I like to be the best at what I put my mind to. I now want to learn how to become extremely skilled/competent at picking up women. i don't want to get into a long term relationships as I love my own space and doing what I want to do... I know I can be selfish in that respect. I'm also wary of being screwed over and losing the wealth I've worked hard to attain... luckily my soon to be ex wife is happy to split our assets 50/50 without legal intervention.

so, going through the bible seems a good starting point. I've stumbled across the rational male audiobook which appears to have been authored by someone on this site. are there any other audiobooks/podcasts which are recommended as I have a fair bit of dead time when driving to work where I can absorb more knowledge on the subject.

cheers guys.

 

[Young OG]

are there any other audiobooks/podcasts which are recommended as I have a fair bit of dead time when driving to work where I can absorb more knowledge on the subject.

Watch some RSD videos on YouTube. You can learn a lot about game from them.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Welcome to SS @tlb1980
Yeah definitely avoid work chicks. Now as for chatting them up and being social/friendly there's nothing wrong with that at all. Practice practice practice that aspect. Work broads are just too easy IMO. Not easy as in easy lay (well sometimes) but they will typically want an RL and if they don't get what they want they could make your job a living nightmare.

I've had a few buddys /acquaintances that did the same as you. They settled and never really built a foundation of game.

If you've been working out for 20 plus yrs then you'll have no issue picking up random bar sloots. They will pretty much come to you. As far as age, I'm 38 and there's plenty others and some even older.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Age 37? fuarkkkkk!

Mate, checkout free tour in your city and inner circle. Do a search on reddit. Tons of **** is spammed free. At 37, you want a immediate gym membership. Low test is not a good look on a man. Get jacked. At the very least, get fit as its good for health, and a confidence booster. Classes like yoga are fantastic ratio of women. Group classes like spin are again full of women. They have friends who have friends. Sisters.

37 is a perfect time for you transcend from provider male to smashing bishs without rubbers man. Begin reading. Have choice. Date younger. Pick top form SMV not cratered and expired. Please update with progress.