Am I looking for something in girls they can’t provide?

[AlphaNoob]

It seems I’ve never had success with relationships, but it is something that I deep down desire. I always have unrealistic expectations for a girl even when the interaction has not progressed through the necessary steps. And I develop feelings for someone after being around them for a while even though as friends.

I feel like I want someone genuine to be around with and to be able to be intimate with. Like an unconditional love or the kind of love that takes a lot of time to develop.
Maybe I am looking for in girls a kind of love that my parents didn’t provide?

My parents did divorce when I was very young and I wasn’t able to talk to my mom about my feelings bc she was too hurt from it.
And before that I had to live with my cousins for three years where i only got to see my mom once a week and talk to my dad rarely. That was when I felt very alone and I think I cried myself to sleep many nights.

I’m starting to think all that is somehow affecting my game and journey to become a Don Juan.

What should I do?

 

[Urbanyst]

Everything about women is temporary.

Right now I'm sleeping with a HB7 who is getting very clingy. She is planning couple type stuff way out in the spring and we are not even official yet lol. Its a fun ride when a woman has high interest, but it never stays that way for too long.

From what I see, the only relationships with unconditional love is the man loving the woman unconditionally. I never see the opposite. Women get more controlling and less loving as a relationship progresses.

 

[AlphaNoob]

Everything about women is temporary.

Right now I'm sleeping with a HB7 who is getting very clingy. She is planning couple type stuff way out in the spring and we are not even official yet lol. Its a fun ride when a woman has high interest, but it never stays that way for too long.

From what I see, the only relationships with unconditional love is the man loving the woman unconditionally. I never see the opposite. Women get more controlling and less loving as a relationship progresses.

So where can I go to satisfy my need for love and care? Do I have to go back to my parents? I’m 21

 

[djthiago1]

So where can I go to satisfy my need for love and care? Do I have to go back to my parents? I’m 21

Women definetelly can provide love and care, just don't expect anything unconditional from anyone, not even familly.

 

[AlphaNoob]

Women definetelly can provide love and care, just don't expect anything unconditional from anyone, not even familly.

So do I just have unrealistic expectations for all forms of relationships? So when it comes to girls, I would have to lower my threshold of what is genuine?

The thought of having someone spend time with me whenever I demanded sounds nice. But doesn’t exist in the real world.

 

[Billtx49]

It seems I’ve never had success with relationships, but it is something that I deep down desire. I always have unrealistic expectations for a girl even when the interaction has not progressed through the necessary steps. And I develop feelings for someone after being around them for a while even though as friends.

I feel like I want someone genuine to be around with and to be able to be intimate with. Like an unconditional love or the kind of love that takes a lot of time to develop.
Maybe I am looking for in girls a kind of love that my parents didn’t provide?

My parents did divorce when I was very young and I wasn’t able to talk to my mom about my feelings bc she was too hurt from it.
And before that I had to live with my cousins for three years where i only got to see my mom once a week and talk to my dad rarely. That was when I felt very alone and I think I cried myself to sleep many nights.

I’m starting to think all that is somehow affecting my game and journey to become a Don Juan.

What should I do?

With that lengthy explaination of your childhood, you may still be carrying issues that stem from that timeframe. Consider seeing a counselor

 

[djthiago1]

So do I just have unrealistic expectations for all forms of relationships? So when it comes to girls, I would have to lower my threshold of what is genuine?

The thought of having someone spend time with me whenever I demanded sounds nice. But doesn’t exist in the real world.

Your "threshold of what is geniune" is incompatible with reality i'm afraid, i too wish the world was different, that i could find women like my best friend or fido, unconditional and everlasting.

 

[btownbuck2012]

It seems I’ve never had success with relationships, but it is something that I deep down desire. I always have unrealistic expectations for a girl even when the interaction has not progressed through the necessary steps. And I develop feelings for someone after being around them for a while even though as friends.

I feel like I want someone genuine to be around with and to be able to be intimate with. Like an unconditional love or the kind of love that takes a lot of time to develop.
Maybe I am looking for in girls a kind of love that my parents didn’t provide?

My parents did divorce when I was very young and I wasn’t able to talk to my mom about my feelings bc she was too hurt from it.
And before that I had to live with my cousins for three years where i only got to see my mom once a week and talk to my dad rarely. That was when I felt very alone and I think I cried myself to sleep many nights.

I’m starting to think all that is somehow affecting my game and journey to become a Don Juan.

What should I do?

All I know is that feeling of unconditional love is something that a woman can %100 absolutely NOT provide for you. They literally are incapable of it. Probably the hardest part of "the game" I have had to wrap my mind around.

 

[Urbanyst]

So where can I go to satisfy my need for love and care? Do I have to go back to my parents? I’m 21

Beats me lol.

I started this thread a few days ago about maybe going overseas:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/relationships-international-women.245481/

The market in the West is trash.

 

[Macaframalama]

Unconditional, no. Nothing in life comes without a price. Including love. It may not cost you, but it's costing someone. Genuine, very possible, but not easy. It takes alot of time and effort and most people are too lazy and don't even truly love themselves. You will rarely if ever find unadulterated love with someone that doesn't love themselves enough to make sacrifices on behalf of their own well being.

 

[exhausted]

It is true the only unconditional love you can get this from family if they are loyal enough. When I broke up with my psycho ex-girlfriend she kept telling me how much she loves me I told her love is not enough when you're abusive and terrible to somebody love is not enough. And it isn't best thing you can do is find a highly moral girl with high value in high standards good luck with it

 

[sazc]

With that lengthy explaination of your childhood, you may still be carrying issues that stem from that timeframe. Consider seeing a counselor

I'll add that- thru therapy you can begin to understand what you are missing from your childhood, and a good therapist will help you learn how to approach your parents to start a dialogue with them, in regards to the topics that you decide need to be addressed. A good therapist will also help you realize that you can give yourself everything you need, in case your parents continue to fail after you approach them.

You are young, get to it so you don't waste time developing baggage in the wrong relationships.

Good luck

 

[fastlife]

Hey bro, welcome to the journey! Being aware of the dynamics of your mind & thought patterns driving your behavior is the first step.

Meditation has been hugely helpful for me. Start with this thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/create-your-own-confidence-how-to-be-you.233590/

However, fixing your thought patterns alone isn't enough--you'll need to start taking action to prove yourself to yourself. The best way I've found is to go out and get rejected again and again until you don't get rejected anymore (which will be around the time you start learning how to base your self-worth internally ).

 

[sosousage]

Everything about women is temporary.

Right now I'm sleeping with a HB7 who is getting very clingy. She is planning couple type stuff way out in the spring and we are not even official yet lol. Its a fun ride when a woman has high interest, but it never stays that way for too long.

From what I see, the only relationships with unconditional love is the man loving the woman unconditionally. I never see the opposite. Women get more controlling and less loving as a relationship progresses.

women cant love unconditionally because they dont love you, but the things that make you outstanding. look, height, sense of humor, personality, muscles, etc.

if you lose job, become ill both physically and mentally, lose muscles and friends, along with your funny attittude and personality, she will leave you. only small % of women would stay, but probably they are more worried of what "other people would say about her leaving you" rather than about you


i dont really know about men. usually the ones who suicide and go all crazy in love are men not women, but that could be conditional love, too

 

[exhausted]

A woman's mindset is " what can you do for me" ? This is today's new woman and why divorce is near 60% and orchestrated at 80% by women.
If you aren't doing what she wants and when she is out to an orbitor waiting around.

 

[Urbanyst]

A woman's mindset is " what can you do for me" ? This is today's new woman and why divorce is near 60% and orchestrated at 80% by women.
If you aren't doing what she wants and when she is out to an orbitor waiting around.

That's why its best to assume she will leave you at some point no matter what you do. Its what I've trained myself to do and it's made dating far less stressful for me.

I invest my emotions more into relationships with family and male friends. Women are primarily a piece of ass to enjoy in my spare time and arm candy to show off around town. Outside of that, I don't really care unless a girl I'm dating really impresses me with her personality which almost never happens lol. I know how to date and play the male role without getting too emotionally entangled most of the time. Its the sense of calm that comes with low expectations.

Its still disappointing when they leave (or when I leave), but it doesn't bring my whole world crashing down either.

 

[exhausted]

That's why its best to assume she will leave you at some point no matter what you do. Its what I've trained myself to do and it's made dating far less stressful for me.

I invest my emotions more into relationships with family and male friends. Women are primarily a piece of ass to enjoy in my spare time and arm candy to show off around town. Outside of that, I don't really care unless a girl I'm dating really impresses me with her personality which almost never happens lol. I know how to date and play the male role without getting too emotionally entangled most of the time. Its the sense of calm that comes with low expectations.

Its still disappointing when they leave (or when I leave), but it doesn't bring my whole world crashing down either.

Smart man.
I am on your plan for now on