cancelling plans with reason

[PokerStar]

What's up homies?

Just a little dilemma that I had today.

So there is a big party coming up this Friday. Big DJ's from out of town are coming to play at a club. I asked this girl who is semi interested in me but I'm not to sure about her long term. Anyway, I got a msg from this other girl (who is twice as cool and is about 7.5 in the looks department) saying she is attending the same party.

So. I msgd the first girl saying that I'm going to cancel going to the party with her. I told her "im going to cancel on you. There is girl thats going to the same party that I might like and I dont want her getting the wrong impression"

She replied with "ohh..." "ummmm..." "ok, understood"

Which i then said "ok good, i was hoping you would understand"

So what I want to ask you guys, should I have given the 1st girl girl a reason why I am cancelling or should I just kept the reason to myself?

The first girl I have been sort of seeing for a month. Mixed signals all the time. and tbh I'm tired of it.

2nd girl I met through friends, havent gone out on a date as of yet *Just broke up with her BF last week* but shes funny and doesnt seem like the drama type.

 

[dustmuffin]

You should have said something came up. Nothing more.

 

[BeExcellent]

Normally I'd agree with @dustmuffin but in this case I think you being up front actually serves you better.

You have to expect that you are very likely to run into girl #1 at the event you now plan to attend with girl #2. If girl #1 sees you there with girl #2 it will raise your value to girl #1, and it will be consistent with what you told her (shows integrity even if girl #1 does not like it). It also keeps there from being weirdness with girl #2 since you have acted with integrity and you have nothing to worry about (such as being called a dishonest ass hole in front of girl #2)...you were honest, and if girl #1 starts a scene, you can explain to girl #2 that y'all dated for a short time and this will raise your value to girl #2.

So I think you played it well.

 

[EyeBRollin]

What's up homies?

Just a little dilemma that I had today.

So there is a big party coming up this Friday. Big DJ's from out of town are coming to play at a club. I asked this girl who is semi interested in me but I'm not to sure about her long term. Anyway, I got a msg from this other girl (who is twice as cool and is about 7.5 in the looks department) saying she is attending the same party.

Don't ask girls to parties.

So. I msgd the first girl saying that I'm going to cancel going to the party with her. I told her "im going to cancel on you. There is girl thats going to the same party that I might like and I dont want her getting the wrong impression"

Too much talking. You only owe your wife or mother a reason for doing something.

The first girl I have been sort of seeing for a month. Mixed signals all the time. and tbh I'm tired of it.

2nd girl I met through friends, havent gone out on a date as of yet *Just broke up with her BF last week* but shes funny and doesnt seem like the drama type.

Mixed signals don't exist. If a girl likes you, there are no games or mixed signals. Mixed signals are low interest.

 

[Trump]

I asked this girl who is semi interested in me but I'm not to sure about her long term.

Love statements like this.

"I asked this girl I want to sleep with to a party. She likes me 50%, but I don't know about her for a full blown relationship."

By the time you figure it out, she'll be pregnant.

Anyway, I got a msg from this other girl (who is twice as cool and is about 7.5 in the looks department) saying she is attending the same party.

So. I msgd the first girl saying that I'm going to cancel going to the party with her.

Very very unclassy bro.

I told her "im going to cancel on you. There is girl thats going to the same party that I might like and I dont want her getting the wrong impression"

She replied with "ohh..." "ummmm..." "ok, understood"

Which i then said "ok good, i was hoping you would understand"

This has got to be a joke thread. What guy tells a girl he made a date with "a hotter girl came along, go to hell?"

What a troll.

So what I want to ask you guys, should I have given the 1st girl girl a reason why I am cancelling or should I just kept the reason to myself?

The first girl I have been sort of seeing for a month. Mixed signals all the time. and tbh I'm tired of it.

2nd girl I met through friends, havent gone out on a date as of yet *Just broke up with her BF last week* but shes funny and doesnt seem like the drama type.

If you are telling the truth you are pretty classless. Make a date and stick with it. Don't get sidetracked by hotness or the possibility of sex with another girl.

 

[guru1000]

Make a date and stick with it. Don't get sidetracked by hotness or the possibility of sex with another girl.

I’m curious Trump: which social rule are you subscribing to when you state this?

 

[Trump]

I’m curious Trump: which social rule are you subscribing to when you state this?

Come on guru, you know there's no social rule.

Yes this site about getting what you want from woman, but we can do it by being classy. Just because woman treat us bad doesn't mean we have to.

If I made a date with a 7/10 and the girl of my dreams became available in the meantime, I would stick with the date. There's no law, no rule, no morality, no social construct, only me.

 

[guru1000]

Come on guru, you know there's no social rule.

Yes this site about getting what you want from woman, but we can do it by being classy. Just because woman treat us bad doesn't mean we have to.

If I made a date with a 7/10 and the girl of my dreams became available in the meantime, I would stick with the date. There's no law, no rule, no morality, no social construct, only me.

I just don’t see how it serves you and her, whereas you’d rather be with the other girl and she is there with you who would rather be somewhere else.

I don’t see it as classless or integrity-less as much as how society defines class and integrity and your conditioned indoctrination. In other words, if society implicitly taught that class and integrity would be not to waste the time of women who are your second choice, then you’d cancel without forethought.

Seems to me, you’re slave to the current social construct, but the current social construct is not slave to you—and constructs change intermittently without loyalty, notice or explanation. In the meantime, while you serve a construct that doesn’t serve you, you, concomitantly, belie your desire.

 

[foolyoufool]

I just don’t see how it serves you and her, whereas you’d rather be with the other girl and she is there with you who would rather be somewhere else.

I don’t see it as classless or integrity-less as much as how society defines class and integrity and your conditioned indoctrination. In other words, if society implicitly taught that class and integrity would be not to waste the time of women who are your second choice, then you’d cancel without forethought.

Seems to me, you’re slave to the current social construct, but the current social construct is not slave to you—and constructs change intermittently without loyalty, notice or explanation. In the meantime, while you serve a construct that doesn’t serve you, you, concomitantly, belie your desire.

*slow hand clap*

Well said. I do think he did the right thing by being 100% honest. He burned the bridge but it was a plate who was playing games with him (sending mixed signals) and he’s more interested in the second girl.

Especially if the first girl sees him there with girl number 2, that bridge may not be burned after all.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Very very unclassy bro.

That ***** would have done the same to him. Mixed signal having ass for a whole month, **** her lol

This has got to be a joke thread. What guy tells a girl he made a date with "a hotter girl came along, go to hell?"

What a troll.

He’s not trolling. I thought it was savage af. A hotter girl came along AND she was just a better person to be around. He isn’t downgrading in any aspect because the first girl is just lower overall quality. He’s branchswinging the same way chicks do. One girl was just better in EVERY department. And gave him a better shot. Nothing wrong with it either because she’s been making him wait for a whole month.

If you are telling the truth you are pretty classless. Make a date and stick with it. Don't get sidetracked by hotness or the possibility of sex with another girl.

I understand your concept of sticking to your original plans, but with dating, particularly in this specific scenario, it’s retarded. There are literally no benefits to be had in this case. It’s like staying with your wife after knowing she goes out to get gang raped every week because she likes it just because you said that you would keep your cows even if she doesn’t hers. This is a stupid mindset to have with someone who they themselves lack integrity that you are supposed to have.

 

[sosousage]

I just don’t see how it serves you and her, whereas you’d rather be with the other girl and she is there with you who would rather be somewhere else.

I don’t see it as classless or integrity-less as much as how society defines class and integrity and your conditioned indoctrination. In other words, if society implicitly taught that class and integrity would be not to waste the time of women who are your second choice, then you’d cancel without forethought.

Seems to me, you’re slave to the current social construct, but the current social construct is not slave to you—and constructs change intermittently without loyalty, notice or explanation. In the meantime, while you serve a construct that doesn’t serve you, you, concomitantly, belie your desire.

I partially agree with Guru. women nowadays are broad in partner/potential partner amount.. why would you stick with one? if she had low interest then thats time waste anyway

 

[PokerStar]

@MidnightCity If I came off bragging, it was not my intention. in fact it was the opposite. with all these mixed signals with the first girl it was frustrating me a bit. now that the 2nd girl hit me up I wanted to take the opportunity.

The party is tomorrow night. I'll give you guys an update after that.

 

[PokerStar]

**update**

met with second girl at the club. had a few drinks together, danced and had a great time.

I got wasted, a couple of cousins of mine showed up(they never go out) and we got completely smashed at the club.

2nd girl wanted me to hang with her friends at an after party but I was to wasted to do anything and if i ended up going with the 2nd girl i would puked all over the place.

We did agree on seeing each other at this Christmas Eve party coming up. I will escalate to the next level. wish me luck guys.

Shes the one!!!! just kidding, this could be fun though.

 

[teebear]

I'm glad you had a good time. Sounds like your gamble paid off.

You'd be cool with it naturally, if a woman broke a date by straight up telling you that a better looking, more interesting man asked her out?

I think that tact goes very well with charisma but it's in short supply these days. I think that you could have handled this much better.

 

[djthiago1]

@MidnightCity
We should never reduce to women's level. A suave guy is ALWAYS classy.

 

[MatureDJ]

What's up homies?

Just a little dilemma that I had today.

So there is a big party coming up this Friday. Big DJ's from out of town are coming to play at a club. I asked this girl who is semi interested in me but I'm not to sure about her long term. Anyway, I got a msg from this other girl (who is twice as cool and is about 7.5 in the looks department) saying she is attending the same party.

So. I msgd the first girl saying that I'm going to cancel going to the party with her. I told her "im going to cancel on you. There is girl thats going to the same party that I might like and I dont want her getting the wrong impression"

She replied with "ohh..." "ummmm..." "ok, understood"

Which i then said "ok good, i was hoping you would understand"

So what I want to ask you guys, should I have given the 1st girl girl a reason why I am cancelling or should I just kept the reason to myself?

The first girl I have been sort of seeing for a month. Mixed signals all the time. and tbh I'm tired of it.

2nd girl I met through friends, havent gone out on a date as of yet *Just broke up with her BF last week* but shes funny and doesnt seem like the drama type.

So you don't like drama queens, yet you are acting like a drama king. If I were getting mixed signals from a gal for a month, I wouldn't be calling her and being the one asking for the meetings, but instead would let her take the initiative and be in the desirous frame. I'd have moved on to pursuing #2, taking the attitude with #1 that "she snoozes, she loses".