Been living with this girl for half a year. Need advice. (is she cheating?)

Thorninmyside

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You haven't lived til you've dated a girl with 2 phones. Laugh at conspiracy theories all you like, but I've dated 3 women who own more than one phone, two of whom wanted exclusivity from my side while plating other dudes. I'm not the one on drugs here. Laugh at that.
 

Reykhel

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The problem arises here: my brother hung himself in September. Since then we have only had sex 3...maybe 4 times. ive been extremely distraught,
I ain't reading more than that man......let yourself heal.....let yourself heal.....let yourself heal......

And you know what?

Let yourself feel, man....let yourself feel, man.....let yourself feel, man....

This is a grieving process for you......fvck it up with opitates or and women and I guarantee you'll pay later.....
 

Macaframalama

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You haven't lived til you've dated a girl with 2 phones. Laugh at conspiracy theories all you like, but I've dated 3 women who own more than one phone, two of whom wanted exclusivity from my side while plating other dudes. I'm not the one on drugs here. Laugh at that.
Running right out to find a women to date that owns two phones.
And talk about kicking a man while he's down. Weak sauce girl.
 

Thorninmyside

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The little boys you groom only have one phone. Pity it wasn't you that killed themselves. I'm done with this place.
 

gorillaglue#4

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The little boys you groom only have one phone. Pity it wasn't you that killed themselves. I'm done with this place.
multiple women you know are sociopathic enough to have burner phones. most women are not like this. the fact that you even consider them as potentials is a major red flag on your part for me lol
 

exhausted

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So a little background, we moved in together extremely fast, I get it, this probably wasn't the best idea (although It did garner me free rent), we were only seeing each other for about 2 months before we moved in. Its 8 months in, roughly, so far. We live on the property of her parents in a separate house that they allowed us to fix up, so I put in carpet, did the walls, windows etc. It actually looks really nice and is very cozy. We have been living and working here since, I also occasionally work part time for her dad at his business. We fight occasionally, the normal couple stuff about money issue, family stuff, other issues that don't really bring up major flags to me, none of this is too horrible for me really, especially since in past relationships the fighting was much worse.

We have a lot in common, she's a really awesome chick. She comes from a conservative background, and a very stable awesome family. She has only had a couple of other sexual partners other than me (she claims). I find her trustworthy, especially in comparison to my past girlfriends. She might white-lie here and there, but I haven't caught her in any major lies. We say we love eachother, we talk about getting married, having kids, we have made long term plans to move in together (after we move out of here).

The sex life since the beginning was always really good, by mine and her standards. She has easily given me the best orgasms of my entire life. On top of this we have shared secret sexual stuff (both of us have) that we were never able to build up the trust or courage to tell anyone before. This was extremely liberating to us both and has helped mentally in a lot of ways. She as well says the orgasms are the best she's ever had (she wasn't really having proper ones before).

The problem arises here: my brother hung himself in September. Since then we have only had sex 3...maybe 4 times. ive been extremely distraught, and have been self medicating with opiates, which has diminished my sex life. (she encourages me to be medicated though because it greatly eases my mental anguish and helps me function/go to work/etc). We have done other stuff though, oral etc. We still sleep in the same bed every night, and are intimate in that we still say we love each other, have long discussions, snuggles, Netflix etc. There was also this instance where she was working, and I had visited her at her workplace, she wasn't there (to my shock), and she wasn't home either. I called her and apparently she was at her dads office helping him (and apparently just forgot to tell me?). Since then I feel there have been other times where it seems like she has picked up a shift or two that were oddly placed, it just seemed off, I approached her about it and she of course swears up and down that nothing is going on and everything is 100% kosher. Like the other day for instance when she picked up a 2 hour shift (??) because apparently someone else couldn't make it and they only needed her for just those hours, on top of this the store was closed so I couldn't visit her then either, but she told me to call her work to see if she was there. I felt weird about it and never did call, what difference would it make? Either her or her manager (male- names john) would answer and obviously aren't going to just say "ya we're bangin". They could be banging in the back and I would never know.....she very regularly works till close, unless shes picking up a shift she basically only ever closes.

Also, she gives me full access to her phone and all of her social media accounts, facebook, insta, etc. In fact I have her phone in front of me right now. Shes always been 100% forthcoming with this sort of thing, passwords and etc, so I've never had to worry from that angle.
Is this fishy? It feels fishy to me. She doesn't seem like the type to cheat, especially in comparison to all the other girls I've been with.

I don't want to think shes cheating on me, and I don't thknk there's really any way I can actually verify if she is or not. What do you think I should do? at times I feel i'd rather just be single so I could have the peace of mind, even if it means endless loneliness. feel free to ask any questions you'd like I will answer anything. thanks again
When I lost my dad a few years back my older cousin who had been thro the same, called and checked on me, he made sure to tell me I must have sex and keep bangin the gf as it will allow me to connect in a loving and needed compassionate way. I figured I would feel guilty for trying to enjoy sex but that isn't what you are doing. Men connect emotionally thro sex so this is a helpful way to begin healing thro love and compassion.
You NEED to do this. I promise you it will help the healing process. We never get over the loss of a loved one, never, but we do learn to deal with it better with healing. Lean on the gf dont pick at her. Lean on her by being close not closed off.
Sorry for your loss.
 

Asasione

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You haven't lived til you've dated a girl with 2 phones. Laugh at conspiracy theories all you like, but I've dated 3 women who own more than one phone, two of whom wanted exclusivity from my side while plating other dudes. I'm not the one on drugs here. Laugh at that.
So cause you dated 3 crap women you assume that you are an authority on everyone else's relationship's LMAO! No one I've ever known uses burner phones to schedule cheating, you should come to terms with the fact you chose bad women. His situation is totally different from yours, he just lost his brother and is on drugs to help him through this and generally all the issues are from his end, not his girlfriend. You should approach the issue from the source not your past
 

lizardking82

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I see a guy here who is in full depression at the very least and then I see two or three other guys making this a 3 page thread about their own egos LOL. Relax, dudes. This person NEEDS help.

OP, I have a gut feeling you are being paranoid in this situation and nothing is happening, but if you keep acting this way, it will eventually happen for natural and biological reasons and because what you believe eventually comes true.

You have been moved by your brother's death. I have a younger brother, I do not know how that feels and I am not gonna say I imagine how you feel, but I take a wild guess and it must be quite painful, especially if you were close to him as a person. However, you are alive and still breathing and you got your life waiting for you. To be shocked by your brother's death is something expected and I think your girlfriend, moreover being from a conservative background, is going to give you time to recover and possibly even help you do that.

BUT, and this is an important but, my man, she will not wait forever and none would blame her for that. Had the roles been reversed and her sister had died and she was in denial for a year, you would have probably lost sexual attraction for her, too. Right now, you are not secure since you went through a shocking experience and she gets that. However, if this goes on for longer periods of time, she will distrust your core as a man and will consider you weak and unable to recover from this hit of life and not because she will be a bad person, she will eventually cheat on you AND leave you.

You have to pick yourself up. I would strongly suggest to stop killing the pain of reality with tranquilizers and go see a therapist that could help you get your grief outside of you. Your woman is helping you, a therapist can help you even further. But do not expect her to stand by your side while you are in this situation. Find the strength within to recover from this and go on with your life. Don't let this woman get away, seems few of the sane ones left in the States.
 
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