@Espi With all due respect, that's like telling guys they shouldn't start driving unless they know they can survive a car crash...
Violence is always a
possibility but it's rarely
inevitable. Guys instinctively respond to vibe, subcomms, social dominance, the same way girls do. They have the same evolutionary hindbrain
girls do to ensure their survival. When you're first starting out, yeah, guys'll give you ****. Anxiety = Low Status = Safe Target. By the same token, Comfort = High Status = Unsafe Target.
Plenty of guys are sexually frustrated & would love nothing more than to get in a fight. They ping off their environment to find guys who are also in the same mindstate. So while you're see plenty of meat heads brawl it out if your frame is,
I'm here to have a good time & for everyone else to have a time, and your frame is stronger than theirs, most guys won't have the agency to start swinging or the motivation to try to escalate violence in the first place.
The couple cities I've lived in & primarily gone out in in the past couple years are both on the upper end of violence in the US--I've seen a handful of guys
just about get beaten to death. BUT I haven't had any problems in a loooong time--and I'll go up to girls who are on dates, with orbiters, once with a
husband that I totally misread the body language on & mistook for her gay bestie, with boyfriends & all the boyfriends' friends. I've stepped in between my drunk azz buddy & the city's prominent coke dealer and a handful of his Yes Men to deescalate the situation. Nothing bad has happened. I used to have guys try to start sh1t, but that hasn't happened in a solid year or so. Now, I usually end up befriending the guys whose girls I cut in with.
The key is how you carry yourself. If you're just starting out & you run into d1ckheads, just deescalate the situation or find a new venue. Pvssy out as hard as you need to; leave the club; grab the bar staff; even shout that you're a pvssy & not to hurt you lol--let him get his little bit of validation & feel like the tough guy. No one in that venue is worth risking your health to impress. You can come back in a couple weeks and no one will even remember you.
@Young_Don It's not the girls, it's YOU. More specifically, YOUR APPROACH. You would have the same problem in
any city. I can say that confidently because my first 4-5 months I ran into the same issues; and then proceeded to
kill in that very same city with the same type of girls for the next year & a half.
Your frame is weak.
You don't feel entitled to approach & your dependent on the reaction of the girls to validate your follow through. That's neediness & girls feel it at the bottom of their stomachs.
Here's a quick fix: Start talking like a traffic cop or a dog trainer. Project from your diaphragm, pretend your words are traveling straight from your mouth in an arc towards the ground. So instead of "
Heyyy? How are youuu doing tonighttt?" its more like, "
YOU. Who the FVCK are YOU." Hard to really explain the difference via text, but youll feel it when you hit the right tonality (and it'll immediately change how people react to you). Julien does a good job explaining it here:
