Oneitious for a girl I barely like anymore?

[youngprodigy]

last time we broke up on her terms and I was a sad just-turned-blue-pill beta. Through reading the content on this site and gaming and fuvking numerous girls in the next 8 months I became who I am now. A pretty good DJ for a just turned 20 year old.

Now the problem is, I got back the ex I was so “in love” with. My feelings for her dropped now that I have her but that oneitious is still there. Like I know I would never LTR her and that she’s only good for the sex but I catch myself thinking about her a lot. Maybe a little less now that I have her.

Has anyone here been in a similar situation and know how to deal? I know some may suggest NC but I tried for the past 8 months and it made it worse if anything. Cheers

 

[fastlife]

You can't 'fight' oneitis. Even if you know it's irrational or stupid or even a little pathetic...that is still how you feel. And if you try to resist that feeling or ignore it, you'll just be giving it further weight in your mind. So just embrace that feeling. You can't control it. BUT you do have control over your actions.

Are you still taking correct action in spite of your feelings? Are you still gaming other girls? Are you resisting what you know are weaker impulses (like constantly checking up on her social media or texting her when you should be doing other things)?

Some girls just hit you harder on a chemical level. It happens. And at your age, it's hard to really internalize a realistic perspective on the effects of time on the girls you like now. You haven't had enough tests to internalize a real, tested sense of confidence--no offense to any of the young guys here, but it's all bluster at this point. What you do between now & your mid-twenties & how you handle yourself will determine the beliefs you develop about yourself. Just be smart about the actions you take.

 

[youngprodigy]

You can't 'fight' oneitis. Even if you know it's irrational or stupid or even a little pathetic...that is still how you feel. And if you try to resist that feeling or ignore it, you'll just be giving it further weight in your mind. So just embrace that feeling. You can't control it. BUT you do have control over your actions.

Are you still taking correct action in spite of your feelings? Are you still gaming other girls? Are you resisting what you know are weaker impulses (like constantly checking up on her social media or texting her when you should be doing other things)?

Some girls just hit you harder on a chemical level. It happens. And at your age, it's hard to really internalize a realistic perspective on the effects of time on the girls you like now. You haven't had enough tests to internalize a real, tested sense of confidence--no offense to any of the young guys here, but it's all bluster at this point. What you do between now & your mid-twenties & how you handle yourself will determine the beliefs you develop about yourself. Just be smart about the actions you take.

Yeah i don't let her push me around and set boundaries even at the risk of losing her. I still date other girls and she knows of my vast supply of options but still attempts to talk down on me. But thanks for the insight

 

[Bob S]

The most important piece of information someone can provide on here to assist advice is their age (if we cannot work it out from the post itself). You are 20 years old. You haven't even begun to reach your peak so I would just do what you are doing and not LTR her but bang her for the sake that you are 20 and men like it. That's it. I think you are self helping yourself in the post actually and are just seeking reassurances from others that what you are doing is right.

You say you don't have feelings anymore for her. You do because of the oneItis. You loved her before and that's still apart of you. I don't think men really fall out of love they just learn to deal with it not working out and they fade but don't go away. Game other women and you may find you completely loose interest in this girl.

 

[RedZone]

The one thing you can do is keep approaching women.

 

[Konada]

Resolve the issues you have with your break-up. One sign that is really telling that your ego is causing your oneitis is that your feelings dropped once you have her.

I'd go against the grain and say approaching women doesn't help. If you need to voice something to her about how the breakup fvcked you up, do so. I wouldn't worry too much about you seeming like a complete pvssy to her since its more for your emotional well being, there are plenty of other women to date.