Is anybody here actually happier when in a serious relationship vs being single?
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youngprodigy
Don Juan
I thought relationships made me happy but a week in you get bored. When ur single you crave companionship. So you might as well use something else to fill that void
Glassguy
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If you are able to make yourself happy you will be happy single or in a relationship (assuming she is a respectful chick that you vibe with).
If you count on others to make you happy, you will be miserable single or in a relationship.
If you count on others to make you happy, you will be miserable single or in a relationship.
Of course I'm happier when I have a relationship, as long as she has high interest. Would you rather receive text messages from a hot and horny girl, or not?
That said, when she backs away (and she will) it hurts. You need to use that pain you will feel to fuel your quest for self improvement.
So it's win/win if you have the right attitude. You enjoy your time with her more, and are more inspired in the time without her.
There is a happy medium, where you don't need her but she is reaching out.
Remember: as you get better with women you'll just get a hotter, younger girl. Then you'll get old. So you'll always be in the same boat, right on the cusp of fleeting success.
That said, when she backs away (and she will) it hurts. You need to use that pain you will feel to fuel your quest for self improvement.
So it's win/win if you have the right attitude. You enjoy your time with her more, and are more inspired in the time without her.
There is a happy medium, where you don't need her but she is reaching out.
Remember: as you get better with women you'll just get a hotter, younger girl. Then you'll get old. So you'll always be in the same boat, right on the cusp of fleeting success.
I've never been happy in a relationship except in the very beginning. Once you get serious with them, something clicks in their mind. It's like the trap has been sprung and now the switch flips. She doesn't have to work with you anymore. She doesn't defer to you at all. Gone is the easy sex. Now you're getting what she really is and what most western women are, lazy, self aggrandizing, selfish, entitled, spoiled and immature. You goto sleep one night with an angel and wake up with a monster.
The last relationship-marriage thingy I had I remember that I longed for the days when I was single. It just turned too ugly very fast after the wedding.
When you are single, you don't have to account about your life, or your personal life to a woman. She can't block you from seeing you family. If you are not bringing in enough money you don't have to worry about losing her.
One month into the marriage, I regretted spending any money on buying an engagement ring, having any engagement with her, or spending the amount of money I did on my end on the wedding. I thought I had more fun masturbating without a woman than I did dealing with an impatient lady who wanted to see it work fast and I wasn't able with myself and made me feel bad in bed.
Also, the "after-relationship" effects after a break-up or divorce is also too hard on the system. The best thing I enjoy about being single is you never have to worry about anyone cheating, leaving you, breaking-up with you or divorcing you and the great feelings of last year are the same as it is this year. You don't have a super-high previous year and then a major depression/anxiety problem the next year where you can't even eat properly.
When you are single, you don't have to account about your life, or your personal life to a woman. She can't block you from seeing you family. If you are not bringing in enough money you don't have to worry about losing her.
One month into the marriage, I regretted spending any money on buying an engagement ring, having any engagement with her, or spending the amount of money I did on my end on the wedding. I thought I had more fun masturbating without a woman than I did dealing with an impatient lady who wanted to see it work fast and I wasn't able with myself and made me feel bad in bed.
Also, the "after-relationship" effects after a break-up or divorce is also too hard on the system. The best thing I enjoy about being single is you never have to worry about anyone cheating, leaving you, breaking-up with you or divorcing you and the great feelings of last year are the same as it is this year. You don't have a super-high previous year and then a major depression/anxiety problem the next year where you can't even eat properly.
This is only true for divorces. Breakups teach us detachment which makes us stronger. We're not going to find mommy 2, but the world isn't any sweeter than your girlfriend. Plus, the passion of the early sex when we are unsure followed by breakups and makeup sex can be intense.
The most vivid memories of my life are time spent with my favorite girls. Time moves slower in certain moments and yet flies by faster in other ways. Movies and songs are more meaningful. It's rare though. I estimate only about 1 in 100 girls you meet have the potential to fire on all cylinders, and that's if you can have any girl.
Breakups are never permanent. Women are more flaky on the commitment side yes, but that means they come back to you also, assuming you are stoic enough to not flinch when she tests you.
The way to train her is: plan dates, make her come, walk away, wait until she reaches out, repeat. Sometimes it might take 6-8 weeks for her to come back but she nearly always will if you do it correctly. Then, have a few girls like her and always be prospecting new women.
Glassguy
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Who ever said you had to be in a relationship to get texts/pics from a hot horny girl?
I get them more when I am single and talking to/banging numerous chicks. Its like the first 6 months of a good relationship with 3-5 of them, but the honeymoon phase doesnt end lol
I see your point. It depends on how we define serious relationship.
I've tried to sleep with lots of girls but I always pick my favorite girl and get serious with her over time.
Your situation sounds neither like a serious relationship nor being single, but somewhere in the middle. Some prefer that range. I'm too OCD. I want to take them on trips and photograph them in lingerie, etc. so super casual doesn't work.
Roober
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Happiness should NEVER stem from you spending time with another person, namely a woman.
I tend to enjoy relationships because they have always been so easy for me. Now that I understand relationship dynamics much better, it has become even easier. Much of the issues that arise from women changing or exhibiting poor behaviors is a misunderstanding of how to handle those behaviors, or the man essentially losing his control of the relationship. After much reading, I tend to believe more that men just don't know how to handle their women.
My current lady is solid. We are about 10 months in and she still love bombs me daily, compliments me, sex drive has increased since we first started fvcking (average 10 times a week). She knows that negative change is unacceptable (and for me too). If she changes, I will have the choice to walk or correct the behavior. But, I will deal with it how it should be, not ignore her like some simpering fool.
I did the carousel of dating (about 30 women over 6 months) and after a couple limp d1cks, I realized I just don't have the desire to fvck around. There is no guess work for sex, activities, food choices, or anything when in a relationship. Cycling women ends up as a constant stream of determining boundaries, and it's annoying as hell. It is like getting high or getting drunk. In the end, it was just felt... pointless...
I tend to enjoy relationships because they have always been so easy for me. Now that I understand relationship dynamics much better, it has become even easier. Much of the issues that arise from women changing or exhibiting poor behaviors is a misunderstanding of how to handle those behaviors, or the man essentially losing his control of the relationship. After much reading, I tend to believe more that men just don't know how to handle their women.
My current lady is solid. We are about 10 months in and she still love bombs me daily, compliments me, sex drive has increased since we first started fvcking (average 10 times a week). She knows that negative change is unacceptable (and for me too). If she changes, I will have the choice to walk or correct the behavior. But, I will deal with it how it should be, not ignore her like some simpering fool.
I did the carousel of dating (about 30 women over 6 months) and after a couple limp d1cks, I realized I just don't have the desire to fvck around. There is no guess work for sex, activities, food choices, or anything when in a relationship. Cycling women ends up as a constant stream of determining boundaries, and it's annoying as hell. It is like getting high or getting drunk. In the end, it was just felt... pointless...
I think the OP is going from the perspective of a guy who has difficulty attracting and dating girls in the first place, not from a guy who has no issues or who is dating 30 women in the past 6 months. Again, if it's difficult to attract and get a girl, and you hit the jackpot and get one that fires all of your cylinders, and then there is a break-up at some point afterwards and the whole thing just blows up in your face, then your nervous system is going to take a nasty hit once she is gone. It's just another dimension of trouble that you don't know about until you experience it.
Not to suggest staying away from women in general, but if the real question, is all the trouble worth it to find a girlfriend with some nice love moments if there is an inevitable break-up later that comes from her disrespecting you because she knows deep down inside that you can't really replace her that easily and she's higher up in the SMV chain then you are, then it's not likely worth the trouble. However, experience is experience.
Not to suggest staying away from women in general, but if the real question, is all the trouble worth it to find a girlfriend with some nice love moments if there is an inevitable break-up later that comes from her disrespecting you because she knows deep down inside that you can't really replace her that easily and she's higher up in the SMV chain then you are, then it's not likely worth the trouble. However, experience is experience.
This is the most accurate description I have ever seen.
Seriously. Never have I seen such a lazy, spoiled, entitled batch of God awful chit women in my life.
My ex has a little kid and never even cooked. What a fuchn LAZY bum.
The happiest place to be is a brand new relationship fresh out of the oven. That is bliss.
So many possibilities. So much hot sex. New and exciting.
But once that initial phase ends it becomes less appealing than being single. Which is why I've never had a LTR last longer than a year. Over time every relationship becomes more about the woman and less about you. I'm too selfish for that sh*t lol. Especially when you consider the lack of respect "good men" get in the market.
Seen too many guys compromise themselves and sacrifice for a relationship only to have their woman sh*t on their face and walk away.
I'm the guy who comes to the party with booze and a crazy hat. Then I leave the party when the first fight breaks out or someone vomits on the floor lol.
So many possibilities. So much hot sex. New and exciting.
But once that initial phase ends it becomes less appealing than being single. Which is why I've never had a LTR last longer than a year. Over time every relationship becomes more about the woman and less about you. I'm too selfish for that sh*t lol. Especially when you consider the lack of respect "good men" get in the market.
Seen too many guys compromise themselves and sacrifice for a relationship only to have their woman sh*t on their face and walk away.
I'm the guy who comes to the party with booze and a crazy hat. Then I leave the party when the first fight breaks out or someone vomits on the floor lol.
It all depends on the girl.
If she’s hot and super interested in me, I will prefer the relationship over spinning plates. This is because we can travel together, build a future together, and get to know each other on a deeper level. I find it fun to go to parties when I’m with a girlfriend and I get way less bored.
In spinning plates I’m often scrambling to find people to travel with and wasting money on **** like clubs and first dates. But I keep doing this because no woman out there is worth settling down with yet. Would rather be single if the woman isn’t right for me.
In my 20s all I cared about was getting laid. My focus is WAY different now.
If she’s hot and super interested in me, I will prefer the relationship over spinning plates. This is because we can travel together, build a future together, and get to know each other on a deeper level. I find it fun to go to parties when I’m with a girlfriend and I get way less bored.
In spinning plates I’m often scrambling to find people to travel with and wasting money on **** like clubs and first dates. But I keep doing this because no woman out there is worth settling down with yet. Would rather be single if the woman isn’t right for me.
In my 20s all I cared about was getting laid. My focus is WAY different now.
+1 for LTR's but i also have a daughter if that changes the perspective, bores the **** out of me banging multiple women, yeah sure on the night its all good...but leading to it i dont get all excited
its like when multiple women are texting me its like hassle to me
its like when multiple women are texting me its like hassle to me
2 years in g/f s still good. Sex whenever I want. Cooks, lets me lead etc. Only downside is I have let some of my regular weekend activities slide. Still play my tennis and my team won the finals of our little social competition. We're off to a trip to New Zealand for Christmas and she ll meet the family. Hopefully they don't go on about when I'm going to get married. Because the answer will be never.
lizardking82
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Really like what @Roober had to say there. I think a lot of man are lazy about handling their woman. I wrote in another thread about a girl I am seeing, 1 year older than me. We started out superbly and then for about 2 months, her insecurities kicked in when I sent her a wrong voice message meant for another chick and situation even got out of my control and I lost my temper 2 times. However, those exact SAME behaviour, when I shrugg it off now, she calms down in like, 5 minutes.
All ladies need to be handled. I don;t think the way to go is to have short term relationships, that just shows an inability to experience deeper connections with people. I mean, start it and see how it goes, but do connect with people. We are not animals and there is no human being except for some maybe seriously emotionally damaged people who enjoy sex alone. Just my 2 cents.
All ladies need to be handled. I don;t think the way to go is to have short term relationships, that just shows an inability to experience deeper connections with people. I mean, start it and see how it goes, but do connect with people. We are not animals and there is no human being except for some maybe seriously emotionally damaged people who enjoy sex alone. Just my 2 cents.
djthiago1
Master Don Juan
I'm gonna tell you something from experience. When you get into an LTR with a ****ty girl, you'll feel like never being in one again. Now when you get into one with a GOOD girl, you'll never want to be alone again.
Roober
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And that is exactly the point. "The guys compromise themselves and sacrifice for a relationship" that is the equivalent of a woman getting fat or not giving up sex. If the partner is no longer the person you tell in love with, why would anyone stick around?
As men, we stick around because we feel that is the right thing to do. Unfortunately,It is the way we are biologically programmed which is to have honor or be a man of our word. Women are not programmed to behave this way, they haven't been in the 1950s and they aren't now. The difference now is that divorce and separation are not as forbidden as it once was and a woman is fully capable of supporting herself.
