So I think I realized what my problem is with dating

[bigdave17]

and I discovered it in the strangest of manners. I was watching porn today (as I typically do, being a man with a nonexistent dating life) and realized I don't like watching porn anymore if the girl doesn't seem like she is genuinely enjoying it, no matter how hot she is. I've watched so much porn to the point where I only like it if it seems genuine and like they're enjoying it, not just there for a paycheck

I think this has been my biggest problem with dating - the women can sense I am only talking to them because I desperately want a girlfriend and it's a huge turnoff. Most hot women have a billion options so, yes my money and looks are a huge plus, but they only want someone who is very genuine and likes talking to them and being with them regardless of any kind of outcome. Learning to become completely outcome independent is one of my most urgent needs to improve my dating life

What do you guys think?

 

[The Diver]

I desperately want a girlfriend

I Think to kill that desperation and be able to move on, you'll have to find THE REASON WHY you're so desperate for girlfriend, (which I assume it's something in your past), clean the slate and start a fresh.

 

[sph21]

I'm glad that you found it. Desperation can manifest in many ways. I believe that you are on the right track.

Desperation can manifest in these hidden beliefs:

1. Everybody is having a girlfriend, so I want to be accepted from my friends as a normal guy by having one.
2. A girlfriend will show me how to be a better man. I still don't know what do I want to do with my life. She can be my light in my darkest hours.
3. A girlfriend can complete me. She is the missing piece I've been looking for

Those beliefs are the mindset of a weak man. Women expect men to be the rock that they can count on when rough time comes. A man who is desperate for little things is a man who can't be depended when the need arises. This is why desperation is a big turn off for women. Women's emotions are volatile. Men who know what to do in dire situations are the ones that will make them feel comfortable.

If you want to be a great man, I suggest you to read these books:

• Book of Pook (you can get it for free at DJ Bible page)
• 48 Laws of Power, The - Robert Greene
  
• ALL ABOUT WOMEN - Giuseppe Notte
  
• How To Win Friends And Influence People - Carnegie, Dale
  
• Dominate_ Conquer your fears. Become the man you want to be. - David De Las Morenas
  
• Influence_ The Psychology of Persuasion - Robert B. Cialdini
  
• Science of Influence_ How to Get Anyone to Say Yes in 8 Minutes or Less!, The - Kevin Hogan
  
• Way of the Superior Man_ A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire, The - David Deida

 

[derby1]

yes my money and looks are a huge plus,

OP i dont know you and i hope this comes across as constructive, you seem to express you think highly of your self, a lot, this will doom you to failure.i feel like you may try to prove to people "your the man"....

I was reading a post last night and you were going on about a shirt that cost you 270 the fit the feel the texture ...I thought WTF, it was the aura of the whole post.. you even said yours self grannies and gaymen love you ? isnt this telling you something

your either portraying yourself as a fashion expert ie her best friend

or your portraying yaself as you and your mate who tour local towns in a brand new M3 with the top down and aviators on a cloudy day,

women are strange creatures lets say things are going great all evening on a date or a woman youve met

1."fancy coming back to mine for a beer and a smoke"= she knows this means sex, and your a bit life on the edge interesting? lets go(notice beer and smoke its what your doing anyway whether shes there or not)

2."fancy coming back to mine theres a bottle of 1652 chardonnay with your name on " =she knows this means sex, who is this cheesey Cnt with his **** head shirt on who names his wine, (but your shirt was fine in the beer and smoke question shes assessing you for the johnny bravo your TRYING TO show now)

3 "Fancy coming back to mine well have a few drinks and have sex" = HE WANTS SEX WITH ME THE CHEEKY BASTARD WHAT A WANKA FCK YOU, TELLS ALL HER MATES ABOUT

my point is all 3 questions mean the same to you and her but the way she portrays them in her head have a different outcome

the guy in the first beer and smoke question can get her in his M3 and put the roof down in the rain and floor it shell think hes even more exciting as ****, guy chardonnay may get her in the car and confirm hes even more of a gonk
guy 3 wont even get her in the car

you are painting blind my friend

 

[derby1]

but i would certainly think about cutting the porn out. Completely destructive to your reality and your manhood.

youll have a **** you never realised you had if you stop porn even if you can get erect now, hell look like hes been on human growth hormones if you stop the porn for a month and kiss a woman , stringpuller is right

 

[bigdave17]

I can't stop watching porn you guys. I have a crazy sex drive

 

[oOh Nasty]

Like stringpuller said, experiment with no porn for a whole month and observe the results. You need to take care of the physiological aspects of your game just as much as the psychological.

 

[bigdave17]

what about my crazy sex drive you guys?

 

[derby1]

hire a hooker your well paid plus she wont get attached

 

[btownbuck2012]

I can't stop watching porn you guys. I have a crazy sex drive

Watching porn is one of the least productive things a man can do in his spare time. You're desensitizing yourself to real sex and interactions with women and other people in ways you don't even realize. Cut out the porn and watch your entire life start to improve. I'm serious.

 

[Bob S]

You need to address your self esteem issues before you pursue these women. Get your head in your game and love yourself first. By opening up everything in one go on the first date you are coming off as desperate and women sense this. You can tell her about yourself sure, spark interest as to why you're a great guy but don't express that she is your only option. Spark interest by making her think you have other options, even if you don't. You could say something like, the women in my office don't like such and such. That makes her think that you are around women a lot and that you are competition. You are the prize to her, not the other way around.

 

[bigdave17]

You need to address your self esteem issues before you pursue these women. Get your head in your game and love yourself first. By opening up everything in one go on the first date you are coming off as desperate and women sense this. You can tell her about yourself sure, spark interest as to why you're a great guy but don't express that she is your only option. Spark interest by making her think you have other options, even if you don't. You could say something like, the women in my office don't like such and such. That makes her think that you are around women a lot and that you are competition. You are the prize to her, not the other way around.

dude I don't really ever get dates because I am so harsh and defeatist

when I actually do get dates, I am very very good

 

[Trump]

Too specific to be real.

 

[skinnyguy]

You need to address your self esteem issues before you pursue these women. Get your head in your game and love yourself first. By opening up everything in one go on the first date you are coming off as desperate and women sense this. You can tell her about yourself sure, spark interest as to why you're a great guy but don't express that she is your only option. Spark interest by making her think you have other options, even if you don't. You could say something like, the women in my office don't like such and such. That makes her think that you are around women a lot and that you are competition. You are the prize to her, not the other way around.

He probably thinks the low self esteem is due to not getting women

 

[sosousage]

and I discovered it in the strangest of manners. I was watching porn today (as I typically do, being a man with a nonexistent dating life) and realized I don't like watching porn anymore if the girl doesn't seem like she is genuinely enjoying it, no matter how hot she is. I've watched so much porn to the point where I only like it if it seems genuine and like they're enjoying it, not just there for a paycheck

I think this has been my biggest problem with dating - the women can sense I am only talking to them because I desperately want a girlfriend and it's a huge turnoff. Most hot women have a billion options so, yes my money and looks are a huge plus, but they only want someone who is very genuine and likes talking to them and being with them regardless of any kind of outcome. Learning to become completely outcome independent is one of my most urgent needs to improve my dating life

What do you guys think?

so you are boring and cant enjoy just the stuff you are saying on your own? thats the problem. makes dates interesting and they will like you

 

[MatureDJ]

... you'll have to find THE REASON WHY you're so desperate for girlfriend, (which I assume it's something in your past) ...

The reason why? NOT GETTING ANY ACTION! SHEESH!

 

[MatureDJ]

Like stringpuller said, experiment with no porn for a whole month and observe the results. You need to take care of the physiological aspects of your game just as much as the psychological.

I disagree. I've met quite a few American men who have traveled to Eastern Europe to go "bride hunting". I remember one who evidently had a lot of experience say that the first thing such a man should do is find a pro to "get the edge off", lest he propose marriage to the first women who agrees to even go on a date with him (these men are typically extraordinarily dateless back home).

 

[oOh Nasty]

I disagree. I've met quite a few American men who have traveled to Eastern Europe to go "bride hunting". I remember one who evidently had a lot of experience say that the first thing such a man should do is find a pro to "get the edge off", lest he propose marriage to the first women who agrees to even go on a date with him (these men are typically extraordinarily dateless back home).

Not against it at all. But I do think it has a negative effect if it's done way too regularly. Men who get married too quickly to the first offer are probably pretty beta to the core to begin with.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

and I discovered it in the strangest of manners. I was watching porn today (as I typically do, being a man with a nonexistent dating life) and realized I don't like watching porn anymore if the girl doesn't seem like she is genuinely enjoying it, no matter how hot she is. I've watched so much porn to the point where I only like it if it seems genuine and like they're enjoying it, not just there for a paycheck

I think this has been my biggest problem with dating - the women can sense I am only talking to them because I desperately want a girlfriend and it's a huge turnoff. Most hot women have a billion options so, yes my money and looks are a huge plus, but they only want someone who is very genuine and likes talking to them and being with them regardless of any kind of outcome. Learning to become completely outcome independent is one of my most urgent needs to improve my dating life

What do you guys think?

Stop watching porn! Try to stop for a while. If you can not, you are an ADDICT. If so, go immediately to nofap.com, do not pass go, do not receive $200.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I can't stop watching porn you guys. I have a crazy sex drive

This is the lie we tell ourselves. The so-called 'sex drive' is an over-inflated and distorted libido that will ruin your life if you are not careful. You need to start thinking in terms of addiction. Think of it this way, it is either a life of addiction and porn, or a good woman. Take your choice.