Hey peeps, confused by her?

[LiquidOscillation]

Hey peeps, you can read the bold to skip my introduction and back story

I've been a long time lurker of sosuave for some years now. A little about me: I'm interested in understanding myself better, "self help" if you will. For awhile now I've made women my least in priorities and thus, I've obtained a much more confident and calmer demeanor in life. I've been celibate for some years now, (I've only had 1 relationship, I broke up with her because she wanted to get married)

I've been focusing on my career (started a job I never thought I would, and I love it.. I don't make a lot of money unfortunately, but I look forward to work.) I've gained 30lbs of muscle, I notice women checking me out constantly... some women even approach me (of course a womans "approach" is much more subtle than a mans)

Unfortunately I'm often bewildered by their behavior. Usually I just ignore women (not rudely) I'll say hi and have a little chit chat.. maybe even flirtatious if the the situation warrants.. but I never make advances. I'm not afraid to, I am just not interested in many women beyond their physical appearance.. their core doesn't attract me. But, now

I know a girl whom I'm interested in getting to know her better. I see her 3 times a week, I'm a personal trainer and she takes my class. She's always with her friend, they flirt with me a lot. Her friend is married, I am not interested in her. I thought she was attracted to me because she seems kinda shy around me but flirty, she doesn't seem to hold eye contact, looks down and away, hairflips etc.. recently we were at a Christmas party and she was there.I thought she looked sexy, it's been awhile since I couldn't hold eye contact with a woman.

I actually avoided looking at her because I felt nervous.
Both girls approached me at my table across the room, they told me I looked grumpy and told me to smile. I shrugged it off, I gave them hugs, I thought she looked sexy so I told her "wow! you look Hot" but I'm not sure she heard me, it was pretty loud and someone else came to greet her in the middle of my sentence.

I sat down and in one spot most of the night drinking, talking to the 3 people next to me, she sat across the table with her friend and a guy that takes my class. He likes her too but I don't care. He follows her around like a puppy dog, I find it a little pathetic actually. At one point I saw them talking but I didn't get jealous. The night went on, and I didn't interact with her all night because I'm stupid and was intimidated by how sexy she looked.

Which is funny because it felt like everywhere I looked a woman was looking back at me, how can I be intimidated by her? At the end of the night somehow the topic of her ass came up, and I asked to grab her butt. She turned around and I grabbed it of course. Yes it was amazing, she has a great butt. Her friend also turned around and told me to grab hers too. I said something like "I'm okay with just one ass, she has a really nice ass" I was kind of tipsy I can't remember exactly.

Conversation moved on, many laughs were had. As we were leaving I gave her a hug and grabbed her butt again. Fast foward to next class, both come in and are being extra flirty.

I went to her as she was leaving, she was walking out the door with her friend, I said "Hey wait up, what are you doing this weekend?" She said "This weekend? I don't know, what's this weekend?" I said "Wanna do something this weekend?" She fumbled around some more looking around and at her friend she asked "what am I doing this weekend?" her friend said "she's got a christmas party with me." I smirked and looked at them in joking manner and said "Oh I see how it is" then they left.

Why didn't she say yes? I wish women would be honest and just turn me down, the first time I ask a woman out in years and all she can do is muster a fumble and an excuse from her friend.

 

[Mazer]

You need to isolate this woman from her stupid married friend. I haven't even met this chicks friend and I hate her. She could be interested, I would ask her if the two of them do "everything" together. They could be messing with you, start hitting on other bishes in the gym and watch how quickly they change.

 

[marmel75]

That was pretty lame...you should have talked to her in private

 

[lizardking82]

"Well, you gonna have to cancel that since I plan to take this beauty out on a date and I doubt she will say no"

"Oh, a Christmas party? Have fun, you beauties, till next time!"

Or tell her friend "Could I take her from you for a minute?" and of course she will say yes and distance herself.

 

[LiquidOscillation]

Thanks for the response guys, I realized I was being vague after I had asked her but I actually did have a plan, I wanted to take her on a walk.. then whatever happened from there happens. Perhaps I should have worded it "Want to go on a walk with me this saturday evening?" instead of "wanna do something?" but if she likes me enough this shouldn't have been an issue right?

I don't have friends that have parties/events otherwise I would have invited her saying something like "Hey I'm going to xxx at xx time, you're welcome to join me!" I don't have much of a social life, it consists of personal training clients then working out. I have a lot of acquaintances but no close friends, so that means I have to make up for my social value with my looks and behavior; it's tough because some women assume I'm not interested, assume they have no chance(Im out of their league in their minds) or I'm a player that has many women which is ridiculous.

I was under the impression if a woman likes you (I made my sexual intentions clear) that she would be willing to let me lead the interaction (asking her out, saying yes regardless of "where" we go) but I clearly have much more to learn. Women seem to put up more **** tests and walls against me, sometimes I think it's because of my looks because I've never had a woman tell me she didn't think I was confident or tell me I'm unattractive, or even reject my physical escalations.

I've had other times where I've set date and times with women and they agreed but flaked, and I was told I put too much pressure on the interaction by being too specific about where I wanted to take her..

As for isolating her, its practically impossible they're basically attached at the hip. I've only seen her alone a handful of times, if her friend isn't around there's usually another guy near her or someone else from class.

After I asked her out I just kept my smile and eye contact on her waiting for her response patiently, I figured like a salesman you give an offer and wait for a response before you ruin it with more talk...I was truly expecting her to say yes, when she didn't give me an answer I was genuinely surprised. I expected an easy win.

She behaved kind of "surprised" when I asked her out... she was ready to walk out the door when I asked stopped her to ask her out, she was turned sideways from me, facing her friend, about to exit the building.. so her body language was unusual.

As for them telling me I looked grumpy, I was actually smiling and joking with friends before they even approached me. I think I come off as unapproachable because of my looks, but I wasn't in a bad mood by any means.. in fact I was actually temporarily nervous because of how hot she looked.

 

[devilkingx2]

I went to her as she was leaving, she was walking out the door with her friend, I said "Hey wait up, what are you doing this weekend?" She said "This weekend? I don't know, what's this weekend?" I said "Wanna do something this weekend?" She fumbled around some more looking around and at her friend she asked "what am I doing this weekend?" her friend said "she's got a christmas party with me." I smirked and looked at them in joking manner and said "Oh I see how it is" then they left.

that's a hard rejection that has nothing to do with her friend, she literally told her friend to make up an excuse right in front of you

 

[TheGambino]

that's a hard rejection that has nothing to do with her friend, she literally told her friend to make up an excuse right in front of you

Yep, so clear lol, don't worry I got rejected soooo many times, it's fun too me now. I love rejections, it's fun too see a girl make up something at the spot.

 

[Murk]

Yeah it was a rejection but from the sounds of it, she's in to him, maybe she is seeing someone else.

Reminds me of the other week I was slightly drunk on the train and saw some girl staring at me, we both get of the same stop and I start up a convo while walking, we take the escalator together, I ask for her number, she says no.

I was so sure she would say yes, maybe I was too drunk, too full on, but I don't even think she gave a reason, just a straight no and we went our separate ways. I haven't approached like that for a while.

 

[marmel75]

Women have fantasies about their trainers all the time but you went about this all wrong.

If she is seeing someone she doesn't want her friend to know whats going on because she might be friends with him too.

You played this about as poorly as you could have from an attempt to get her out with you.

 

[devilkingx2]

Yeah it was a rejection but from the sounds of it, she's in to him, maybe she is seeing someone else.

I dunno harsh rejections and into him are not a likely combo

 

[Murk]

I dunno harsh rejections and into him are not a likely combo

Could be like I said that she's seeing someone else so that kind of forced her hand to not agree to the (poorly executed) asking of a date. It does look like she's been flirting and has interest.

 

[Bob S]

The woman was looking at her married friend for support of the situation. There is no Christmas party otherwise your interest woman would know. This girl likes you and you like her. It's probably too late but you have become infatuated with her which is not good as you will take rejection too harshly if the situation does not pan to your liking. As others have mentioned, you need to isolate this girl from her married friend. Next time say, well when you're free from a commitment from your married friend how about getting a drink. If she says no to that. Hold your head high, take the rejection and bath in the bliss that you know you won't be asking "what ifs".

 

[devilkingx2]

Could be like I said that she's seeing someone else so that kind of forced her hand to not agree to the (poorly executed) asking of a date. It does look like she's been flirting and has interest.

at the end of the day if she doesn't like him enough to go out with him or even be respectful then does she really like him? no

she could be flirting just because she's an AW