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I don't even know what to say when they start conversations

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I was a deli earlier and the girl behind the counter tries to make conversation with me talking about the song that's on. I just give a 1 word response and don't really know what to say.

Also, it happened at Hooters the other day but I know you will just tell me she was flirting for tips so I won't bother to try to convince you otherwise.

What could I have done. The deli girl was kind of cute.
 

derby1

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i pay attention to things that nobody would ever think to mind.
i have mental health issues im a diagnosed psychopath......i have no intention of harming anyone however 3 or 4 years ago i would walk in a room and within seconds my mind would have figured the whole scenario out of what could be used as a weapon and how, i didnt want this it comes automatically it caused me great distress...i now use this treated "poisoned gift" to assess the clothes, the air shes breathing, the time shes taking to stare in the freezers at the supermarket, "lets just go back to yours and eat cheesecake" i say....... they ****ing love it
 

The Duke

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Richard- I would suggest hanging out with some one that is good at socializing. Since you flip houses I'm sure you work with realtors. Most realtors are pretty good at socializing/talking with strangers. It would do you good to sit and observe what they do and say in a bar or other social function. Ask them for tips to improve.

That kind of thing is difficult to learn thru an internet forum.
 

Macaframalama

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Practice your awareness of your surroundings and your 5 senses. If something she is wearing catches your eye or a fragrance she's wearing, remark on it and ask her about it. The woman at the deli, you could have expanded on the conversation with what type of music you like or dislike. The Hooters chic, you could have asked her about the wings or other appetizers and what she recommends. You don't have to agree with it. If she recommends something you would normally never think about trying, remark that she seems to have eclectic taste in food if she does. Express your hesitancy and make her a wager, that if you do happen to like it, that she can come cook for you or cook together sometime. When, she comes to bring you the check and ask if she can get you anything else, reply with yes, your phone number. Allot of guys are afraid of letting it be made obvious that you are thinking or looking at her sexually. They are killing the sexual vibe they could be giving off. Don't talk to her boobs, but give her the once over, several times as if she's the one being judged and qualified to be good enough to fvck with you. Look at her lips and think about how good they might be to kiss or look wrapped around your cawk. Look at her neck and visualize your hand on it while you are pounding her out or whatever comes to mind. Just don't do it all at once and don't get lost in it. If she has to repeat herself or you're getting lost in the conversation, you're doing too much.
 

logicallefty

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logicallefty

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Sounds like me. I hate small talk.
I don’t like it either but unfortunately it’s a critical part of hooking up with women.

I try to use humor in my small talk. For example earlier this week I ordered a salad at Subway with spinach in it. As I was paying for it I said to the cute cashier “Time to watch my Popeye arms explode!” She said “I need to do that and eat more salads and less sandwiches “ . I said “Yes your arms will thank you”. That was it. I didn’t pursue her number because I was in a hurry and there was a big line behind. But hopefully you get the idea.
 
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I don’t like it either but unfortunately it’s a critical part of hooking up with women.

I try to use humor in my small talk. For example earlier this week I ordered a salad at Subway with spinach in it. As I was paying for it I said to the cute cashier “Time to watch my Popeye arms explode!” She said “I need to do that and eat more salads and less sandwiches “ . I said “Yes your arms will thank you”. That was it. I didn’t pursue her number because I was in a hurry and there was a big line behind. But hopefully you get the idea.
If that's the case, I've had more in depth conversations than that millions of times. I think 99.999999999999999999% of conversations are pointless.
 
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Practice your awareness of your surroundings and your 5 senses. If something she is wearing catches your eye or a fragrance she's wearing, remark on it and ask her about it. The woman at the deli, you could have expanded on the conversation with what type of music you like or dislike. The Hooters chic, you could have asked her about the wings or other appetizers and what she recommends. You don't have to agree with it. If she recommends something you would normally never think about trying, remark that she seems to have eclectic taste in food if she does. Express your hesitancy and make her a wager, that if you do happen to like it, that she can come cook for you or cook together sometime. When, she comes to bring you the check and ask if she can get you anything else, reply with yes, your phone number. Allot of guys are afraid of letting it be made obvious that you are thinking or looking at her sexually. They are killing the sexual vibe they could be giving off. Don't talk to her boobs, but give her the once over, several times as if she's the one being judged and qualified to be good enough to fvck with you. Look at her lips and think about how good they might be to kiss or look wrapped around your cawk. Look at her neck and visualize your hand on it while you are pounding her out or whatever comes to mind. Just don't do it all at once and don't get lost in it. If she has to repeat herself or you're getting lost in the conversation, you're doing too much.
I guess I'm just not that desperate for a conversation, though.

Or maybe I should follow everything with...

"Hey, do you know what a bionic d1ck is?"

Lol.
 

Macaframalama

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If that's the case, I've had more in depth conversations than that millions of times. I think 99.999999999999999999% of conversations are pointless.
They are, but you have to get the ball rolling somehow and you have to be decent enough at it to hold it long enough to be able to bone them.
 

guru1000

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Your problem is a lifetime indoctrination of (now unconscious) thinking patterns of social communication that no longer serve you.

To break this unconscious pattern, employ a "conscious directive," which is a willful act to say anything regardless of how you feel about it. Begin with a goal in mind. For example, the next time you are at a deli or restaurant and see a girl you like, walk up to her and force a conversation that lasts a minimum of 10 seconds. Say anything, even "Hi, I'm Richard the Frog and I like frogs." Then onto 30 seconds with the next one. Then one minute. In time, you will develop and recondition yourself with social acumen.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Macaframalama

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Yea. I just don't like small talk.

I've noticed extroverts that spend HOURS in small talk conversations where nothing of any importance is even said.
I think you are making it harder, than it has to be. You don't have to be fully engaged in what she's saying, although it helps to do so with ppl. You just have to be aware enough to respond and let your sexual vibe, through your body language to the rest. You're already hopefully wondering what she looks like naked or thinking sexual thoughts about her. Start slowly undressing her in-between your normal eye contact breaks. Make a commitment to be aware enough to observe ONE thing about each approach to remark or inquire about if you are going out today. If she engages, expand on it, but make the commitment.
 

switch7

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You dont know what to say because you care too much about how you come across. How do you not care how you come across? Work on your self esteem, nothing is more powerful than being confident.

With confidence you can say whatever you want and it will sound cool.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Use the ignore button if you take issue with the OPs threads; that’s what the button is there for.
<threadjack>

Just out of curiosity, why do you guys refer to it as an ignore button. ? There is no button. There's a link to click on. There's a space to type in the member's name. There is a button but it says, "save changes."

Technically, it should be called the ignore feature.

</threadjack>

Carry on.
 

logicallefty

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<threadjack>

Just out of curiosity, why do you guys refer to it as an ignore button. ? There is no button. There's a link to click on. There's a space to type in the member's name. There is a button but it says, "save changes."

Technically, it should be called the ignore feature.

</threadjack>

Carry on.
Click on the members name in one of their posts, then click on “ignore”. It’s on a line with “Profile Page Start a Conversation Follow Ignore”
 
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I think you are making it harder, than it has to be. You don't have to be fully engaged in what she's saying, although it helps to do so with ppl. You just have to be aware enough to respond and let your sexual vibe, through your body language to the rest. You're already hopefully wondering what she looks like naked or thinking sexual thoughts about her. Start slowly undressing her in-between your normal eye contact breaks. Make a commitment to be aware enough to observe ONE thing about each approach to remark or inquire about if you are going out today. If she engages, expand on it, but make the commitment.
The problem is that the conversations end almost just as fast as they start.

Not to mention that I usually need 7 beers in me even to get them started.
 
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