How some women “commit” in an LTR

[Augustus_McCrae]

Below is a link to a blog entry on RPG that has a very interesting comment from a poster named Yareally. The comment was originally posted on therationalmale.com. It’s a little long, but worth the read. And while some of it may not be a revelation, the way Yareallly writes about it is interesting.

https://notesfromaredpillgirl.com/2016/08/24/games-girls-play/comment-page-1/

-Augustus-

 

[The Duke]

So very true.

I dated a girl last spring/summer and agreed to delete my dating apps about the 3month mark. She pissed me off around month 4 so I put the truck in reverse and started using online dating again and let her know I didn't care to be exclusive with her anymore. A week later she screenshots me my Tinder profile and gives me all sorts of hell for it. I'm like yeah biatch, I told you that's was I was doing!

I proceeded to tell her that there is no difference in me being on Tinder and her having a facebook account. She made the mistake of telling me that she gets several guys every week asking her out on facebook. Of course she didn't agree with the point I was trying to make. A few weeks later she is out on a date with one of the guys that had been orbiting her on facebook since the start of our relationship.

Guys, Its time to draw the line in the sand. These women have the upper hand and they know it. If we would all stop caring if she stays or goes when we drop the hammer we wouldn't be in this problem.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

yareally has always known his shlt

Agreed. And he has a gift for relating his knowledge via his writing style.

-Augustus-

 

[The Duke]

They are not even close to being exclusive at 3 months into nominal fake exclusivity. Ive found at like 1 year in they stop actively maintaining their options(and start getting somewhat irritable towards you because they are not happy they have to depend on you solely for validation now). I know this being on both sides of the fence. I found out a chick I was sexing had an exclusive boyfriend for 3 full months before she cut me off...I had predated him and their exclusivity by about 3 months.

I met this girl thru Bumble a year ago. We never went out mainly due to distance reasons. I only talked to her on occasion, but we text a few times a month. On occasion she would send me semi-nudes. I checked out her faKebook and see she is in Mexico laying on the beach with some dude and has been "in a relationship" with him for several months. I'm thinking that's hilarious because a few weeks ago I was still getting semi-nude pics texted to me with out me even asking.

The amount of validation these girls crave is an epidemic and social media is their crack cocaine. Forget the drug problem we have, lets address the validation problem women have.

 

[Trump]

The amount of validation these girls crave is an epidemic and social media is their crack cocaine. Forget the drug problem we have, lets address the validation problem women have.

It’s not their fault. It’s the laws of the country, the system, the politicians, the leaders, the rich people. Change the laws, change the women.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I've said it once and I'll say it again that women are inferior beings when it comes to this type of thing. They're NOT bad but you MUST understand what you're dealing with. Even being with a woman long enough is enough for your SMV to drop, in her eyes, out of sheer boredom with you. Novelty is king.

The only part I'll disagree with from yareally is this (not so much disagreeing but just trying to clarify at least from what I've noticed):
"This is why they’ll keep pushing that stuff trying to program boys from an early age so that it’s normalized to them when they’re adults and they don’t question the arrangement where they give up all their options while the girl says she does but is still pinging for better in the background thanks to the technology that’s made that abundant, easy and discreet"

I truly don't think women are aware of what they're doing. I mean, yeah, they DO these things and KNOW what they're doing. But this force that drives them, hypergamy, causes them to act in such obscene, duplicitous ways that it should come as no surprise to any guy how powerful that force really is. You can't compete with it long term, no matter how high your SMV, because of the freedom women have today in regards to the attention and options they're able to generate effortlessly. They just can't help it. The dog in the room alone with a steak is a great analogy here. It WILL eat that steak. Period.

Don't get down on yourself, just smarten up. DO NOT marry one. I've already decided that I'm still open to a LTR with a woman and even having kids with her but there will be NO legal contracts involved. It'll be a long term partnership and what the hell we'll even have a ceremony - but the STATE will not be involved. You just can't risk it. I don't hate or hold a grudge against women, I simply appreciate them for what they are now. That's been a HUGE paradigm shift, but I'd rather face reality head on. It is very hard though.

 

[lizardking82]

The primary reason why we like women is their looks. We are biologically programmed to see fertility in them and that's what we do. Any man who comforts himself in a woman's arms, seeks warmth and love from her and thinks he needs to "connect" has deep issues in their subconscious and the two most known ones are white knight and mommy issues. There is a huge number of people in the world with either one or the other and this is what has led to men thinking they need a woman to complete their lives. Go connect with your parents, with your friends and then connect to a woman, but be always ready and willing to leave if she becomes too comfortable.

Men should always keep other women at hand. If you have the time, have options. If one girls decides to stray, you got the other girls still available. It is natural to us as men to want to bang multiple chicks. Have you noticed than after sex, right after, you get this desire of wanting to "leave the crime scene" LOL while she is just bugging you, trynna hug you, trynna stay close to you? It's cause that's your testosterone and biological programming telling you "job done here, get away now" and it's her estrogene telling her "his job is done, try to lock this man down now for protection, caressing, love, goods". Of course we are humans we connect deeper than mere animals, but that side of us should be listened to as well.

No matter what a woman tries in the first few weeks or months after sex (and they will try everything) to lock you down in a commitment, never fully commit AND most importantly, never commit first. And have the DGAF attitude. When they see that, they can't leave you. Women don't leave a guy who doesn't give a ****. If they sense you care a lot or that you give a **** much...you're dead.

I know it seems like a cold world and everything, but this is how it is and men should be used to this. No whining allowed or else you're ****ed. Go about your life, do things you like, do things that fulfill you. There is beauty in life and you will not find that in women only. Use them only as complementary to your other, main goals in life.

 

[AJ84]

The primary reason why we like women is their looks. We are biologically programmed to see fertility in them and that's what we do. Any man who comforts himself in a woman's arms, seeks warmth and love from her and thinks he needs to "connect" has deep issues in their subconscious and the two most known ones are white knight and mommy issues. There is a huge number of people in the world with either one or the other and this is what has led to men thinking they need a woman to complete their lives. Go connect with your parents, with your friends and then connect to a woman, but be always ready and willing to leave if she becomes too comfortable.

Men should always keep other women at hand. If you have the time, have options. If one girls decides to stray, you got the other girls still available. It is natural to us as men to want to bang multiple chicks. Have you noticed than after sex, right after, you get this desire of wanting to "leave the crime scene" LOL while she is just bugging you, trynna hug you, trynna stay close to you? It's cause that's your testosterone and biological programming telling you "job done here, get away now" and it's her estrogene telling her "his job is done, try to lock this man down now for protection, caressing, love, goods". Of course we are humans we connect deeper than mere animals, but that side of us should be listened to as well.

No matter what a woman tries in the first few weeks or months after sex (and they will try everything) to lock you down in a commitment, never fully commit AND most importantly, never commit first. And have the DGAF attitude. When they see that, they can't leave you. Women don't leave a guy who doesn't give a ****. If they sense you care a lot or that you give a **** much...you're dead.

I know it seems like a cold world and everything, but this is how it is and men should be used to this. No whining allowed or else you're ****ed. Go about your life, do things you like, do things that fulfill you. There is beauty in life and you will not find that in women only. Use them only as complementary to your other, main goals in life.

If she knows you have options yeah she is more likely stick around but if a guy acts cold or aloof like he gives zero f**ks about her she will bounce to the many options she has to get those good feels.
Being nice and charming to a girl who knows you have options yet are paying her attention is powerful and helps keep her in your frame.
A chill, laid back guy who is genuinely positive, has social grace and can charm the ladies but got his own stuff going on that excludes the ladies (hobbies etc). It's very attractive.

I can't stress enough how attractive it is when guys got stuff going on that they're passionate about and it doesn't involve getting laid. Like their life does not revolve around us but they don't have to go out of their way to show that. I don't know why but for me it makes me respect him more and appreciate the time he spends with me, not just the sexual times lol.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I truly don't think women are aware of what they're doing. I mean, yeah, they DO these things and KNOW what they're doing. But this force that drives them, hypergamy, causes them to act in such obscene, duplicitous ways that it should come as no surprise to any guy how powerful that force really is. You can't compete with it long term, no matter how high your SMV, because of the freedom women have today in regards to the attention and options they're able to generate effortlessly. They just can't help it. The dog in the room alone with a steak is a great analogy here. It WILL eat that steak. Period.

Don't get down on yourself, just smarten up. DO NOT marry one. I've already decided that I'm still open to a LTR with a woman and even having kids with her but there will be NO legal contracts involved. It'll be a long term partnership and what the hell we'll even have a ceremony - but the STATE will not be involved. You just can't risk it. I don't hate or hold a grudge against women, I simply appreciate them for what they are now. That's been a HUGE paradigm shift, but I'd rather face reality head on. It is very hard though.

And who created the cultural conditions to have made all this possible? Men. The Romantic movement, which rejected the old strictures on human nature, and over-idealized love, has a lot to answer for. It rejected collective culture in favor of individual freedom... and what a mess we are in. I will now only enter into a LTR with a woman who is capable of rejecting our contemporary anti-culture [mass culture], or in other words, is educated properly.

 

[guru1000]

Don't buy it. And I'm likely more seasoned than any of these authors. Sure it happens, but not to all. Guesstimate 50-60% of women behave this way.

IF you want an LTR and wish to stay exclusive, then stay exclusive.

And should you discover one day that she is cheating, dump her azz, and move on.

Not complicated.

 

[Mazer]

It’s not their fault. It’s the laws of the country, the system, the politicians, the leaders, the rich people. Change the laws, change the women.

Blame it on the thirsty ass dudes that hit on everything that walks and tells them how beautiful they are hoping to get a piece of that ass.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Blame it on the thirsty ass dudes that hit on everything that walks and tells them how beautiful they are hoping to get a piece of that ass.

This will never change. It's impossible.

Even former ISIS brides can come back to Western countries and get lots of male attention, as long as they're decent looking.

 

[user43770]

Don't buy it. And I'm likely more seasoned than any of these authors. Sure it happens, but not to all. Guesstimate 50-60% of women behave this way.

IF you want an LTR and wish to stay exclusive, then stay exclusive.

And should you discover one day that she is cheating, dump her azz, and move on.

Not complicated.

Only 60% of women in relationships have orbiters? Lol ok

What about the fact that as a man, when you agree to exclusivity, you're losing most of your options while she retains hers? You know, because men do the vast majority of approaching.

Approaching new women is the only way a man can keep his options open like women effortlessly do.

What don't you buy exactly?

 

[guru1000]

Only 60% of women in relationships have orbiters? Lol ok

What about the fact that as a man, when you agree to exclusivity, you're losing most of your options while she retains hers? You know, because men do the vast majority of approaching.

Approaching new women is the only way a man can keep his options open like women effortlessly do.

What don't you buy exactly?

50-60% of women enter exclusivity with the implicit understanding that the relation is not exclusive.

When a girl has eyes only for you, hypergamy is dead.

Seems like you operate from a position of fear (of her cheating), and thus try to "compete." For me it's simple: Let her cheat, and in the meantime I will operate the way I want, fearlessly. If she cheats, she's booted. Her (implicit) strategy bears no effect on my own.

 

[guru1000]

disagree.

if you dont think so, do you honestly think your woman would still stay with you if you decided to stop maintaining your appearance, stopped making good money, stopped being the leader in your relationship etc etc?

This question is if I decided to stop being ME, then would she still be into ME?

there is a small moment during pair bonding (aka honeymoonphase) where women only have eyes for you, but hypergamy is never dead. its never satisfied to a degree that you can "shut it down" we can only mitigate it to the best of our abilities, and even then there is never a gaurantee. thats why shlt tests are a lifelong thing that doesnt stop even after you marry, in fact many would argue that they only get more severe after marriage.

Hypergamy is a Manosphere theory, certainly not a fact. If hypergamy were a fact then my ex of a few years should have left me for the dozens of COOs of major corporations who were hitting on her, giving her yacht party and other invitations. Where did hypergamy play out there?

Hypergamy theory is for Rollo to make money explaining to basement dwellers why their ex left them for a better man.

Let's talk truth: A loser is a loser. Be a winner and you won't have to saddle yourself with Rollo theories and profess them as experiential facts.

 

[lizardking82]

thats not exactly how it works. hypergamy isnt just the idea of "marrying up" although thats there too. a guy having more money or power (whether real or perceived) doesnt mean your girl is gonna drop you at the first chance to make a B line for that guy. you might do it for her in ways that guy cant. there may be other factors in your favor that compensates for a lack of money or power that keeps her around (despite the fact that she will need constant reminder regardless) and/or she may sublimate her own hypergamy on her own for obvious practical reasons. this is the essence of game, i wouldve thought someone like you understood this well

i dont know what rollo has to do with the discussion as hes not the only person that has described it. we even have women finally ADMITTING to it. not to mention the scientific studies that support it directly or indirectly.

once you get into a commited relationship or marriage, is that a pass to relax and forget everything you learned from game?

if youre too much of a jerk that doesnt provide enough comfort to your lady, she'll fall into the arms of a more charming man. thats hypergamy

if youre a doormat and let her lead, she'll fall for a more masculine man. thats hypergamy

if all you do is go to work and come home and down a six pack and dont take her out, bore her, stop taking care of yourself, she'll leave you for a more exciting guy. thats hypergamy

it goes beyond women just wanting to "marry up" to money or "power"

its the sum of all her female needs and how it reflects in her behavior depending on the phase of life she is in and other environmental factors (take the OLD attention wh0re epidemic for example)

That is completely normal and I agree. In the end, none of us would stay long with a woman who doesn't keep fit either, or with a woman who just takes us for granted so it is the same for them. Men here need to get used to the nature of women. A lot of things they do, they do cause of their nature, not cause they are some evil rooted creatures LOL

 

[highSpeed]

The primary reason why we like women is their looks. We are biologically programmed to see fertility in them and that's what we do. Any man who comforts himself in a woman's arms, seeks warmth and love from her and thinks he needs to "connect" has deep issues in their subconscious and the two most known ones are white knight and mommy issues. There is a huge number of people in the world with either one or the other and this is what has led to men thinking they need a woman to complete their lives. Go connect with your parents, with your friends and then connect to a woman, but be always ready and willing to leave if she becomes too comfortable.

Men should always keep other women at hand. If you have the time, have options. If one girls decides to stray, you got the other girls still available. It is natural to us as men to want to bang multiple chicks. Have you noticed than after sex, right after, you get this desire of wanting to "leave the crime scene" LOL while she is just bugging you, trynna hug you, trynna stay close to you? It's cause that's your testosterone and biological programming telling you "job done here, get away now" and it's her estrogene telling her "his job is done, try to lock this man down now for protection, caressing, love, goods". Of course we are humans we connect deeper than mere animals, but that side of us should be listened to as well.

No matter what a woman tries in the first few weeks or months after sex (and they will try everything) to lock you down in a commitment, never fully commit AND most importantly, never commit first. And have the DGAF attitude. When they see that, they can't leave you. Women don't leave a guy who doesn't give a ****. If they sense you care a lot or that you give a **** much...you're dead.

I know it seems like a cold world and everything, but this is how it is and men should be used to this. No whining allowed or else you're ****ed. Go about your life, do things you like, do things that fulfill you. There is beauty in life and you will not find that in women only. Use them only as complementary to your other, main goals in life.

I'd honestly prefer to have one woman who I bang on a regular basis. I don't want her to be a starfish but be active, engaged, try new things and generally be available as much as I'd like. This idea of the hugh hefner harem, where these chicks are all dying to hop on your c*ck is silly, doesn't happen. Yes, you may have a harem around you for a bit, but they're all hoping to outshine one another and become the "one." If any or all of them feel at some point as if you're keeping all of them around for "variety", they're going to be out of there quicker than a rat out of an aqueduct. Yes, I look at other chicks. I might even consider how awesome it might be to try them out in all manner of ways. But to try and keep a heard, a gaggle of unruly women satisfied? Just the thought of it is exhausting. Who the hell wants to spend your time seeing this woman today and trying to keep her happy, then seeing another woman tomorrow and keeping her happy, no thanks. And look, I appreciate your world view of "oh, they're all there to please me" but that's not the way it works man, c'mon, you know that. The minute that there is not something mutually beneficial to her or any of them? They're out of there and you know it. If she's even remotely hot, she will have her options. I'd rather find a pretty hot chick who gets it, who understands the importance of building a sound relationship where both parties are actively involved in fulfilling each other's wants, needs and desires.

 

[lizardking82]

I'd honestly prefer to have one woman who I bang on a regular basis. I don't want her to be a starfish but be active, engaged, try new things and generally be available as much as I'd like. This idea of the hugh hefner harem, where these chicks are all dying to hop on your c*ck is silly, doesn't happen. Yes, you may have a harem around you for a bit, but they're all hoping to outshine one another and become the "one." If any or all of them feel at some point as if you're keeping all of them around for "variety", they're going to be out of there quicker than a rat out of an aqueduct. Yes, I look at other chicks. I might even consider how awesome it might be to try them out in all manner of ways. But to try and keep a heard, a gaggle of unruly women satisfied? Just the thought of it is exhausting. Who the hell wants to spend your time seeing this woman today and trying to keep her happy, then seeing another woman tomorrow and keeping her happy, no thanks. And look, I appreciate your world view of "oh, they're all there to please me" but that's not the way it works man, c'mon, you know that. The minute that there is not something mutually beneficial to her or any of them? They're out of there and you know it. If she's even remotely hot, she will have her options. I'd rather find a pretty hot chick who gets it, who understands the importance of building a sound relationship where both parties are actively involved in fulfilling each other's wants, needs and desires.

I would prefer having one solid chick as well, mate. It would make life easier and let me concentrate in other things, that is for sure, but then you're laying all eggs in one basket and that's never good. The high point of any guy's life would be, I think, to have a good partner by your side, but not to have your life turned upside down if she decides to leave for whatever reason and that is hard to achieve. Any man who has decided to go with the one solid partner theory would probably be suffering if she left.

 

[guru1000]

thats not exactly how it works. hypergamy isnt just the idea of "marrying up" although thats there too. a guy having more money or power (whether real or perceived) doesnt mean your girl is gonna drop you at the first chance to make a B line for that guy. you might do it for her in ways that guy cant. there may be other factors in your favor that compensates for a lack of money or power that keeps her around (despite the fact that she will need constant reminder regardless) and/or she may sublimate her own hypergamy on her own for obvious practical reasons. this is the essence of game, i wouldve thought someone like you understood this well

i dont know what rollo has to do with the discussion as hes not the only person that has described it. we even have women finally ADMITTING to it. not to mention the scientific studies that support it directly or indirectly.

once you get into a commited relationship or marriage, is that a pass to relax and forget everything you learned from game?

if youre too much of a jerk that doesnt provide enough comfort to your lady, she'll fall into the arms of a more charming man. thats hypergamy

if youre a doormat and let her lead, she'll fall for a more masculine man. thats hypergamy

if all you do is go to work and come home and down a six pack and dont take her out, bore her, stop taking care of yourself, she'll leave you for a more exciting guy. thats hypergamy

it goes beyond women just wanting to "marry up" to money or "power"

its the sum of all her female needs and how it reflects in her behavior depending on the phase of life she is in and other environmental factors (take the OLD attention wh0re epidemic for example)

Hypergamy defined:

hy·per·ga·my
hīˈpərɡəmē/
noun
noun: hypergamy

1. the action of marrying a person of a superior caste or class.

hypergamy
Evolutionary Psychology theory on the instinctual desire of humans of the female sex to discard a current matewhen the opportunity arises to latch onto a subsequent mate of higher status due to the hindbrain impetus to find a male with the best ability to provide for her OWN offspring (already spawned or yet-to-be spawned) regardless of investments and commitments made to a current mate.

Hypergamy IS a woman’s inclination to trade up based on status and wealth.

Hypergamy IS NOT:

Mitigated;
Subliminated;
Dependent on comfort;
Losing out to charm;
Masculinity;
Superceded by your not taking her out or boring her.

Don’t force fit the definition to serve your fallacious point.

As I stated: When a girl has eyes only for you, hypergamy is dead.

 

[guru1000]

But the actual debate is over whether they actually do only have eyes for you, and if so, why.

Your participation here is based upon your other threads, specifically, (1) that all women do not see exclusive relations as exclusive, (2) you will be discarded upon her securing a more hypergamous mate, correct?

If not, what’s your specific position?