Hi guys,
Looking for some advice please.
Long story short. I had a relationship with a HB9 for 1 year and 3months which i turned into an open relationship after i wasn't happy because she was putting on weight and searching my phone (these things both stopped). This open relationship is 8 months long and she hasn't got with anyone, i have got with a few people but would never tell her and would always say i haven't got with anyone when asked. I would say she can sleep with anyone she want's but i probably wouldn't speak to her again if she did. Recently i have been failing **** tests and she came to my town to see me. She asked me a lot of questions regarding our "open relationship" and said she wanted to be exclusive with me. In the morning we ****ed and then when she was leaving to go for her friends party and i started an argument for no reason and she said "we need to talk about being exclusive" i said "we won't be getting back into a relationship!".
That night she ****ed someone else and phoned me crying on Sunday. I said I wouldn’t be able to trust her again and I didn’t want to speak to her again. I have since been ignoring calls etc these are the messages I have been getting
“...I don’t know what to say. I’m hurting a lot. I’m just shocked and so sad that it got like this. You became my best friend and I never meant to hurt you or us. It hadn’t been going well for a long time and we were not official but I know once something like that happens it’s done. It’s just very sad...”
“…Are you just going to ignore me? … please speak to me. You can’t just block me out your life like that. I am hurting too. You didn’t want to be official with me. I am not proud of my actions and do feel guilty but you can’t just block me. I’m not a mean person and I love you.”
“I’m so sorry. I’m so hurt. All I ever wanted was a loving proper relationship. I didn’t mean for it to get like this. I’m really really sad. I wish things were different. I wish we could of made us work. I wish it wasn’t this complicated.” “…Maybe in another time we will realise we actually both wanted this and make it work….”
“*** I feel so awful. I feel so guilty. It was so out of character and although we weren’t officially together I feel so ashamed with myself. I have never done that and never thought I would. I have been un happy in the relationship but I didn’t think that would happen. I feel sick with it. I really didn’t mean for it and I didn’t want to hurt you. I love you. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Can I please come and see you tomorrow? I just want to hold you and make this ok. I’m not a mean person. I’m just confused and I ****ed up. I didn’t think, I was on drugs and very drunk. That’s not what I’m about at all and I’m so ashamed for it. I hate myself and my life right now. I hate that I’ve disappointed you and hurt you. You are my best friend and I never meant to hurt you. Its all just got so complicated. I don’t know what to do. I can’t bare this. I feel like I’ve just ruined 2 years of my life. Will you ever speak to me again? Will you ever forgive me?”
I know i have pushed her to this and treated her like **** in this relationship but i don't know what my options are now. I have highlighted in Bold because they seem to be important about what she wants for the future and this could all well be a nuclear **** test i'm not sure.
I like this girl and I believe I probably ****ed up putting her in this position but not sure what i should do now. Should i speak to her again or will she think i am weak. She is going away for Xmas for just over a month so should i wait till when she's back. I don't want to seem to desperate if i go back to her so not sure how to tackle this.
Looking for some advice please.
Long story short. I had a relationship with a HB9 for 1 year and 3months which i turned into an open relationship after i wasn't happy because she was putting on weight and searching my phone (these things both stopped). This open relationship is 8 months long and she hasn't got with anyone, i have got with a few people but would never tell her and would always say i haven't got with anyone when asked. I would say she can sleep with anyone she want's but i probably wouldn't speak to her again if she did. Recently i have been failing **** tests and she came to my town to see me. She asked me a lot of questions regarding our "open relationship" and said she wanted to be exclusive with me. In the morning we ****ed and then when she was leaving to go for her friends party and i started an argument for no reason and she said "we need to talk about being exclusive" i said "we won't be getting back into a relationship!".
That night she ****ed someone else and phoned me crying on Sunday. I said I wouldn’t be able to trust her again and I didn’t want to speak to her again. I have since been ignoring calls etc these are the messages I have been getting
“...I don’t know what to say. I’m hurting a lot. I’m just shocked and so sad that it got like this. You became my best friend and I never meant to hurt you or us. It hadn’t been going well for a long time and we were not official but I know once something like that happens it’s done. It’s just very sad...”
“…Are you just going to ignore me? … please speak to me. You can’t just block me out your life like that. I am hurting too. You didn’t want to be official with me. I am not proud of my actions and do feel guilty but you can’t just block me. I’m not a mean person and I love you.”
“I’m so sorry. I’m so hurt. All I ever wanted was a loving proper relationship. I didn’t mean for it to get like this. I’m really really sad. I wish things were different. I wish we could of made us work. I wish it wasn’t this complicated.” “…Maybe in another time we will realise we actually both wanted this and make it work….”
“*** I feel so awful. I feel so guilty. It was so out of character and although we weren’t officially together I feel so ashamed with myself. I have never done that and never thought I would. I have been un happy in the relationship but I didn’t think that would happen. I feel sick with it. I really didn’t mean for it and I didn’t want to hurt you. I love you. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Can I please come and see you tomorrow? I just want to hold you and make this ok. I’m not a mean person. I’m just confused and I ****ed up. I didn’t think, I was on drugs and very drunk. That’s not what I’m about at all and I’m so ashamed for it. I hate myself and my life right now. I hate that I’ve disappointed you and hurt you. You are my best friend and I never meant to hurt you. Its all just got so complicated. I don’t know what to do. I can’t bare this. I feel like I’ve just ruined 2 years of my life. Will you ever speak to me again? Will you ever forgive me?”
I know i have pushed her to this and treated her like **** in this relationship but i don't know what my options are now. I have highlighted in Bold because they seem to be important about what she wants for the future and this could all well be a nuclear **** test i'm not sure.
I like this girl and I believe I probably ****ed up putting her in this position but not sure what i should do now. Should i speak to her again or will she think i am weak. She is going away for Xmas for just over a month so should i wait till when she's back. I don't want to seem to desperate if i go back to her so not sure how to tackle this.
