Girl who I used to talk to messaged me randomly

[doctor1996]

last summer, met this girl and started talking with her. We talked for 3 months. She was in my class. I asked her to hangout during that time, and she said yes! But she had to go to NYC for some wedding. Well, months pass, and 2 months ago I started messaging her, and asked her what happened to our plans from summer? And she said "I didn't know how to tell you this, but I have a boyfriend." And I stopped messaging her. She could have told me from the first month I was talking instead of taking up my time and attention. Anyway, I would never make the past mistakes I made after reading the wealth of information on this site. I was in class this morning, and I got a message from her saying "hey, long time no see or talk lol"

What do you guys think I should do?

I think she kept me as a second option, and I don't think I'm going to give her the attention she wants. Or maybe I can smash? Opinions?

 

[doctor1996]

"Who's this?"

What should I do after that.. I mean should I just say fvck her and talk to other girls?

 

[icantgetlaid]

What should I do after that.. I mean should I just say fvck her and talk to other girls?

Ask her out on a date.

"Yea it has been a while, we should grab a drink and catch up, what's your schedule like this week?"

If she doesn't clearly accept and state her availability than you should ghost.

 

[doctor1996]

I don't think I want to re-engage with someone who treated me like that. Or some attention seeking *****. I'm sorry, but she's not up to my level. And I'm getting random phone calls with random caller ID's. How mature.

 

[icantgetlaid]

Re engage slowly. Let her imagination run wild and use this time to get info

I disagree. This is something that might work on a girl who has higher interest but I can already tell this is a low quality lead given the way she's treated him in the past.

It's pretty clear he's been her time ho. I would just cut right to the chase by asking her out; if she doesn't accept he can confidently move on/ghost her permanently.

 

[Glassguy]

My bet is as SOON as you ask her out, she will disappear again.

Just a hunch.

Maybe send her a "Lets bang or GTFO" text and see how it goes. Make sure to report back and let us know the results of that lol.

 

[doctor1996]

Pointless thread if you don't care to do anything about it

Unless what you really wanted to ask was how to get back at a mean old girl

Yes. I'll do something about it. I like your point.

I'll just treat her like you said, besides, she isn't even up to my standards.

 

[icantgetlaid]

If she isn't up to your standards why in the hell would you be motivated to create a post about her and ask our advice/waste our time?

 

[doctor1996]

If she isn't up to your standards why in the hell would you be motivated to create a post about her and ask our advice/waste our time?

I was unsure of what to do. I was kind of angry, and surprised. I wasted so much time on her.

 

[dude99]

I don't think I want to re-engage with someone who treated me like that. Or some attention seeking *****. I'm sorry, but she's not up to my level. And I'm getting random phone calls with random caller ID's. How mature.

Then when you say "who is this?" And she replies with :

"its so and so, remember me from a few months back."
You wait 2 to 3 days then reply with, "yeah. How have you been?"

When she replies with "I've been busy/good/ blah blah blah." You then wait another 3 or 4 days to anawer "good."

In between your answers you date other women. You live your life. You have fun. She is not a priority in your life and should be treated accordingly.

Treat her with total indifference.

 

[TheGambino]

My bet is as SOON as you ask her out, she will disappear again.

Just a hunch.

Maybe send her a "Lets bang or GTFO" text and see how it goes. Make sure to report back and let us know the results of that lol.

Lol dont do This

 

[Glassguy]

That's exactly what's gonna happen. That's why he needs to flip the established script and get her to qualify while getting some Info on her newfound curiosity.

I'm willing to bet she's noticed his new shift in charming jerk boy ways and he's triggered her curiosity. If he plays it right he can get a lay out of it.

I swear, girls are like fvcking sharks
They can sniff out ambition and talent 10 miles away

I agree 100%.

I would treat this chick like she was my 8th option, even if I had none.

 

[lizardking82]

That's exactly what's gonna happen. That's why he needs to flip the established script and get her to qualify while getting some Info on her newfound curiosity.

I'm willing to bet she's noticed his new shift in charming jerk boy ways and he's triggered her curiosity. If he plays it right he can get a lay out of it.

I swear, girls are like fvcking sharks
They can sniff out ambition and talent 10 miles away

Always. When they see a motivated guy, they are all over. I have noticed this with myself. You don't even have to be the best in the field or sth, just make sure you you're working hard and are motivated. When they smell that, the lays are easy, quite easy.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I was unsure of what to do. I was kind of angry, and surprised. I wasted so much time on her.

This is why we preach to escalate asap with any "prospect". You find out immediately if they are a time waster or not. You talked to her for 3 months and never made a move?
Your OP isn't very clear. It sounds like you just came off as super nice guy so she had no reason to tell you she had a bf?

I think this is a good opportunity for you to practice. Just like thedude & others have said, low priority with attention. It's probably just an attention "ping" from her but you are not, or well you shouldn't be emotional invested so you have nothing to lose.

 

[doctor1996]

This is why we preach to escalate asap with any "prospect". You find out immediately if they are a time waster or not. You talked to her for 3 months and never made a move?
Your OP isn't very clear. It sounds like you just came off as super nice guy so she had no reason to tell you she had a bf?

I think this is a good opportunity for you to practice. Just like thedude & others have said, low priority with attention. It's probably just an attention "ping" from her but you are not, or well you shouldn't be emotional invested so you have nothing to lose.

This was before I discovered this site. This was last summer. I've changed my ways, and I am not emotionally invested with any female I currently talk to. I let them chase me.

 

[doctor1996]

Do what Big Neil advised (which can be found in the DJB), reply back with, "f*ck off".

Nothing else. Just "f*ck off". That's going to piss her off. Which in turn is tapping into her emotions; which is even better. Remember, women love confusion, mystery, and drama.

I know, I saw, but that seems a little ruthless. that's one thing I'm a little cautious about in the djb

 

[doctor1996]

This is why we preach to escalate asap with any "prospect". You find out immediately if they are a time waster or not. You talked to her for 3 months and never made a move?
Your OP isn't very clear. It sounds like you just came off as super nice guy so she had no reason to tell you she had a bf?

I think this is a good opportunity for you to practice. Just like thedude & others have said, low priority with attention. It's probably just an attention "ping" from her but you are not, or well you shouldn't be emotional invested so you have nothing to lose.

I was angry and surprised she messaged me out of the blue.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

What I like to do is talk to them like it’s the first time ever talking to them. I’m still friendly and all that crap but I don’t reference past convos or say anything that will infer that I know anything about them. Then if they ask to meet up or reference something from the past about me saying or doing something, then I will say “you know I gotta be completely honest with you, I don’t really know who you are lol” then send a second text saying “you just randomly started talking to me about [insert when she began hitting you up again] ago and I just kinda went along with it cuz I figured why not” or something like that. Then depending on the context I may or may not send a third text saying “so who exactly are you?” She will most likely only say her first name without saying how you and her talked however long ago and then you reply asking for her last name because she isn’t the only girl with that name that you know (unless it actually is some kind of foreign name that no one has or if she points out exactly how I got her number in the first place then I don’t say that, but normally I would). After her telling me and all that crap, then I just turn cold and send short curt responses. It’s fun just to kinda string them along like that tbh. Unless they really seem to go above and beyond to to talk to me then I’ll start to warm up a little, but no girl in 2017 (almost 2018 now) does that anymore. Unfortunately for me, this has only happened 2 or 3 times so far, but it’s still fun nonetheless. It’s fun to just mess around with them and waste their time though. Even those random telemarketing phone calls from India too, I start spouting out some horrifically racial slurs so bad that most people don’t even get offended and just think “damn, that’s racist”. I mean it’s over the phone and text so who really cares? So much fun to troll people. Serves them right for trying to take my money.

 

[doctor1996]

Guys. Am I being an ******* here? My friend is saying "good luck trying to bang a female you can't be decent to"

Or "you're sounding like a tool".

I mean is this correct? It's alright when girls do it to guys. But oh when we do it, we are considered *******s?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Guys. Am I being an ******* here? My friend is saying "good luck trying to bang a female you can't be decent to"

Or "you're sounding like a tool".

I mean is this correct? It's alright when girls do it to guys. But oh when we do it, we are considered *******s?

Well were you telling him that you were above her?