Tips on frame control . Advice plz

[Johnsmith8899]

so I need some tips on frame control. For the most part I’m a confident good looking guy with a great job who gets women. But from time to time I get anxious and feel my frame slip in some social or business situations. I’ll worry about saying or doing the wrong thing with women and at work. This causes short lived relationships and not making the best decisions. I been dating very hot women and slipped a few times causing the females to walk I believe. starting to get better tho... was able to walk away from a smoking hot blonde because of disrespect. But honestly at times with many failures controlling the frame can be a challenge especially without other influences (others ageeeing or alcohol). What are some good tips to maintain frame even under pressure remember who u are and remain confident individual who’s lives carefree. Sometimes I’ll think even irrational things such as “is what im thinking right?” Or even question if I’m the most dominate guy in the room and other irrational things. This typically happens during conversations where I do not know what the other person is talking about or if I’m talking to someone I perceive as older or wiser. When I’m confident and only care about myself i tend to get the most positive outcomes. Sometimes I’ll even worry about having too strong of a frame so I don’t come off as an a-hole or want to make anyone feel inferior to me. Like I find trouble sometimes rationalizing with women because to me why treat someone u care about like dirt. I want to make a positive inpaxt and change as well. Any tips welcomed -thanks !

 

[resilient]

Be authentic and unapologetically you. It's when we let women and others manipulate our emotions that we change for them without putting up a proper logical and sound argument first without reproach that we lose the frame.

When you catch yourself thinking irrational thoughts... ask yourself why... and what good do these thoughts serve?

To keep your frame in check you need a healthy dose of skepticism. Not exuberant amounts to where you're a stubborn ox, yet just use street sense wisely to not accept everything at face value. You'll keep more self-respect this way.

 

[TheGambino]

Spin plates.

 

[PokerStar]

I dont think spinning plates is the answer. why? well if your frame is broken or unhinged it'll carry through to every relationship you encounter.

now with you saying that sometimes you have to strong of a frame, sometimes you have be flexible. bend but dont break. Basically, its all on you. If you feel like you have been disrespected and dont know how to act or even react, walk away without saying anything and go over the situation in your head. Even write it down how you are feeling or maybe some well thought out reactions to the situation. Through this you will learn.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Strength of frame is directly related to deep beliefs about yourself, your confidence and your experiences. It's not something you can tweak with a few tips.

It's something that takes time to build. I'd recommend dating girls with SMV so it's easier to maintain the frame. Then SLOWLY work your way up.

Sounds like you're swinging above your pay grade.

Getting girls is one thing, but keeping them is something different entirely.

It's a skill that needs time to build. Changing how you think won't do squat.

 

[Bible_Belt]

No one is always the most dominant person in the room. If you find yourself in a conversation about a subject you know nothing about, and other guys there are experts, just shut up and listen. That's not losing frame.

 

[Roober]

Sometimes, I step out of the situaton, this could be done by going to the bathroom, taking a quick stroll, keeping silent, etc. Check out for a short period of time and ask yourself..

a) What do I want? - over and over and over.... and when you do determine that, ask...
b) Am I being reasonable? If "no", repeat with #1

For example...

Frame test - your lady wants to see you and asks you to come over, a simple 20-minute drive. likely stay the night with loads of sex.

First - You WANT to play videogames cause you just are just about to beat king Koopa. Your want is unreasonable. I don't feel like I need to explain why videogames are trivial and a complete waste of time. So, you answer "no".

Second - You WANT to grab a bite and watch a game at a local bar. This is reasonable. So, you invite the lady. If she comes, great, if not, you are doing what you want and being reasonable. This is obviously assuming there are no variables like you guys had plans already, or she is wearing nothing but whipped cream.

 

[Julian]

No one is always the most dominant person in the room. If you find yourself in a conversation about a subject you know nothing about, and other guys there are experts, just shut up and listen. That's not losing frame.

You can still have frame by being the guy there with the line of questioning in order to gain more knowledge, a hearty thank you and smiles all around in appreciation for their info will gain you frame because you extracted what you wanted in a positive way so it seems the whole interaction was there just to educate you. boom. frame achieved.

 

[sph21]

Or even question if I’m the most dominate guy in the room and other irrational things. This typically happens during conversations where I do not know what the other person is talking about or if I’m talking to someone I perceive as older or wiser.

You can't always dominate everyone. If you're in a conversation where you don't know what the other person is talking about, just go with the flow. Consider it as an opportunity to learn new things. Do the same with older/ wiser person.