Triangulation

[Tuttleycool]

You know what boy? You want real answers from forum members about a woman, then state all the facts from the git go if you want real answers.

My mistake. New to the whole PD thing. How bad of a condition is bipolar? Should I expect crazy for the rest of her days?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My mistake. New to the whole PD thing. How bad of a condition is bipolar? Should I expect crazy for the rest of her days?

She doesn't have to be but usually they are. A lot of these bipolar's live double lives and do a lot of lying. There's a lot of stress for them to maintain frame and this is what causes the bipolar split. I've personally witnessed some getting a lot better over a period of 3-5 years. A BPD had a friend group that was enabling the double lifing and lying... And then they wouldn't let her lie anymore. She had to tell the truth and would you believe all that craziness went away and minimized?

The group stopped her from lying not to "fix" her, but they just stopped helping her out that's all.

 

[Tuttleycool]

She doesn't have to be but usually they are. A lot of these bipolar's live double lives and do a lot of lying. There's a lot of stress for them to maintain frame and this is what causes the bipolar split. I've personally witnessed some getting a lot better over a period of 3-5 years. A BPD had a friend group that was enabling the double lifing and lying... And then they wouldn't let her lie anymore. She had to tell the truth and would you believe all that craziness went away and minimized?

The group stopped her from lying not to "fix" her, but they just stopped helping her out that's all.

Is it normal for a person with bipolar to cheaton their partners? Why the double lives?

Does this behavior improve over time or get worse? Will a person like this ever change or find a stablize in a relationship?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Triangulation usually means someone gets in your relationship business and two go against the one. Like your wife letting a guy at the bar make an aggressive move on her and she sticks up for him.

My example illustrated when a woman is getting "wins" over her husband or the man that loves her. "Power wins"... The world will defend her as she's a woman. She gets easy wins when she sides with a man who was disrespectful or acted like the husband wasn't there. A real woman would say "I'm with him...", one of these females trying to win off the man who loves her would allow the man to hit on her, and flip it on the husband and act like he's insecure... It sucks... Once they start this all you can do is leave them. Also when they are doing this game, usually you put your heart and soul into them. They think you cannot get another, get another then...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Is it normal for a person with bipolar to cheaton their partners? Why the double lives?

Does this behavior improve over time or get worse? Will a person like this ever change or find a stablize in a relationship?

They can improve. You have to check and punish them on their behaviors. As long as they are enabled to be all powerful and lead this double life they will get worse and worse. Those roads need to be cut out and made literally impossible or painful. They don't even need meds. Exercise helps a lot, and living a life of integrity. But asking a NPD/BPD for integrity is like asking the president to send you a check for $100,000,000. It's not easy. Their choices that enable them need to be destroyed or made extremely painful.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Is it normal for a person with bipolar to cheaton their partners? Why the double lives?

Does this behavior improve over time or get worse? Will a person like this ever change or find a stablize in a relationship?

Yeah they will cheat and lie. It's normal in BPD.

 

[Tuttleycool]

Yeah they will cheat and lie. It's normal in BPD.

My current gf slept with me a few years ago while she was engaged just before she broke it off with the guy. Pretty sure she slept with another guy too before she left the fiance. Now she's with me after sleeping behind her previous bf back, also with me.

I feel like I'm constantly looking over my shoulder for any behavior like that against me. She just seems like an unhappy, bitter person sometimes. But the good times are good.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My current gf slept with me a few years ago while she was engaged just before she broke it off with the guy. Pretty sure she slept with another guy too before she left the fiance. Now she's with me after sleeping behind her previous bf back, also with me.

I feel like I'm constantly looking over my shoulder for any behavior like that against me. She just seems like an unhappy, bitter person sometimes. But the good times are good.

Who is she listening to? That can make a big difference. If you can calmly divert her to a group that's more relationship friendly you may be able to change your fate.

The BPD's we speak of normally have treacherous permenant singles who are hunting for men to rob in their ears, and they hate men.

Find some cool couples and hang with them, maybe you'll get 10 years of awesome sex and incredible devotion.

 

[xstang77]

It depends if it's bpd or bipolar there's quite a difference,as they say bpd is like bipolar but to the tenth power. The example listed is rare about the friends no longer enabling,that usually never happens as most there friends have A lot of low life issues as well and she puts on what's sometimes known as the bpd mask. Even so if that group of friends had enough she could simply jump state and start a new life with cult followers like nothing.

 

[captain55]

I sometimes questions her intentions for doing it. She almost always has negative things to say about her exes. Would even show me text conversations where they were trying to talk to her, maybe trying to get back together, and her denying them.

Makes me wonder what she says about me or will say if things go south.

Funny...my bpd Ex did the same thing the first time i went out with her. Showed me the texts from her ex trying to get back with her.

 

[noBSgames]

The combination of the exes still being hung up on her, aka them still missing the initial idealization stage, and their devaluation before their split "might" fit BPD or NPD, yes. I'm no therapist though…
Bottom line - If she has the same type of problem with All her exes, the cause may not lie with them.

Ah man my ex she would say they were the one that cheated.. or before me she did not know the guy was married now that I look back on it all I can see it was all a lie

 

[noBSgames]

Funny...my bpd Ex did the same thing the first time i went out with her. Showed me the texts from her ex trying to get back with her.

Mine would always tell me she had plenty of guys waiting to hook up with her if I screwed up.. also she kept all her past exes phone numbers in her phone and she was bold enough to text one to ask them if she acted a certain way and they all said no.. man I wished I dropped her ass then any girl that does that now is a red flag and I sure would not look back on it

 

[noBSgames]

If her ex's are still hitting her up its because she's letting them/giving them a reason to, her telling you all her ex's are hung up on her is a big red flag,and I most certainly agree this could be PD territory.

I so wished I was active back when I met my ex I would of not wasted 2 years mine did the same.. it’s crazy they all follow the same pattern.. why is that?

 

[Billtx49]

I so wished I was active back when I met my ex I would of not wasted 2 years mine did the same..

Yours is a classic story. Most men, myself included, got involved with a disordered woman without even knowing beforehand that women could exist that far away from the beaten path of normal women.
Now you are enlightened. You’ve taken the Crazy 101 class and found knowledge you didn’t have before.

 

[noBSgames]

Yours is a classic story. Most men, myself included, got involved with a disordered woman without even knowing beforehand that women could exist that far away from the beaten path of normal women.
Now you are enlightened. You’ve taken the Crazy 101 class and found knowledge you didn’t have before.

The crazy thing was one night I started searching and searching until I saw bpd and I was like wow it matches everything she’s said and done..

Even now everything is still a game to her my eyes are really open she’s married a guy over in her country then came back to the us still tries to hoover me.. gets depressed then she picks up..

She follows her mother as well she went to her country married some guy and he’s still not here.. all my friends says it’s a money deal.. if that’s the case thank god it got her off my hands.. she’s done crazy things like asking my friends what I’m up to or stalking any videos I post.. She had the nerve to say I’m still waiting for that ride in your car.. the very card she kept stalling me from fixing.

 

[Billtx49]

she’s done crazy things like asking my friends what I’m up to or stalking any videos I post.

Been there. My Ex, while living with another man, had my own daughter spying on me for a year. You will never be able to rationalize her behavior…
You can’t explain crazy.

 

[noBSgames]

Been there. Mine had my daughter spying on me for a year. You will never be able to rationalize her behavior…

Funny I guess she thought I was going to be depressed however i think she will be when she sees I moved on however I’m more mindful of what I put up.

I know for the next relationship I’m not taking a picture of any female so she is just by herself that’s a red flag I did that some pictures she put up is her using my camera or her dressed up when we were going out.

If she has a issue with that she can turn and walk.