Should I just become a bad person?

[Alvafe]

Yet you hear teachers telling students to apply themselves. You hear coaches yelling at their athletes to work harder. And you have people waking up early and going to sleep late for their jobs. Did all that just come through not giving a ****? I think not.

because its they job? I doubt a teacher will not sleep at night if a student fails a test, or a coach would get much work if he can't motivate people to work, people waking up for they work is because they want to help they boss to get money?

same for helping people you think the ones who help is because they want to just to help? they help because they feel good about it, if it was not the case they wouldn't help, some even think since they are superior they have to help the lesser, in the end its all about me, I and myself

so you come here and ask if you should stop being a good person, good and bad is relative, only thing you really should be asking is if you belive you are being fair with your dealings and are getting the same from others, if not you start to make it difficult for people who make difficult for you.

one thing I did learn over the time dealing with people is when people tell me i'm selfish I know I did a good decision, because tehy tell me that when they ask something of me who would help then but would give me more work/problem and that wouldn't give me anything good

 

[ubercat]

How you r feeling might be a couple of things. One could be simple overtraining it's really good to take a break or just do something completely different once in a while.

The other thing is you are quite Young and this forum exposes you to a lot of fairly heavy concepts. You are hanging out with a lot of older guys here who have significant life experience and are working through their own questions and issues. That's a lot to process for young guys I'd suggest you take a break from here every so often. When you were young you feel everything intensely and feel that any problem is a crisis and needs to be solved immediately. A lot of the issues we discuss here need years or even decades of work so try to keep a long-term perspective.

I don't think we can advise you on religion every man chooses their own journey. Myself I started out being raised Catholic and am probably more Buddhist nowadays. Which is more of a philosophy then a religion but that's another conversation.

I'd say rather than thinking of yourself as a good or bad person maybe surround yourself with good people instead. And by that I mean people who reciprocate. People who in their private and business life look for win-win approaches and who like to build people up. Yes you can get ahead by being a Machiavellian arseh0le but they aren't the people who build Society up. And it seems like you have a bit of a social conscience by nature.

Also in all the scientific studies on long term happiness that I'm aware of connection to family and friends is the number one Factor. Assh0les don't do well at that. So why not choose to be happy?

The machiavellians and nietzscheans here make me smile. If they don't care about community and we are all rampant individualists why hang out here trying to help other guys?

 

[Alvafe]

I’m thinking more on terms of religion. A lot of the best of the best have broken the rules or done ****ty things to get to the top to be the stongest, richest, etc. Guru, you know this yourself. People say what goes around comes around and I understand that concept. But shouldn’t it also mean that what you put into life is what you get out of it too? I’ve put in so much work into certain aspects of my life, so my effort and strain, I have worked so hard. I almost never see anyone working as hard as I have, and when they do it is only on a very rare occasion. I’ve bled for this so much that I’ve got no blood left to give. Now my mind is deteriorating and my body weakening. How can someone claim all that yet there are those like me who are failing? I hate to bring god into this but that’s a last resort that I have to keep my sanity, and I hate praying to something or someone when I know I can fix a situation myself. But this is beyond my control. Life did NOT come back around for me. It seems that I’ve just been forgotten and left behind. I hate venting this crap. Why should I? I keep searching for an answer that I know I won’t find but I do so anyway because of some remnants of weakness left inside of me. What’s happened? Well I guess I know the answer to that one; life.

I will not bring the morality and religion here because serious religion and moral is not the same, plus that was already debated and it was not a good result for religion

the problem I see here is you are working hard, and that is nice, but undertand its better you work smart not hard, you need to stop and think what will work and what will not work, also understand praying is for the week is that little thing to make yourself feel like you are doing something, if praying fixed anything we wouldn't have people starving or bad things happening, the world is chaos, things will happen good or bad don't matter what you do, at minimum you can try steer the chaos and do more good things for you.

maybe its time to take a rest, some vacantion, something you wanted to go or do, do it like a reward for yourself for what you are doing, relax and when you come back try to rethink things and see what you should change

 

[ubercat]

One last thought. Being a good person doesn't mean you have to be defenseless. By hanging out here you could come game aware. There are plenty of people out there who will try and manipulate you for their own profit or just to get a kick out of it. However you will find that the good people in the world aren't idiots and can spot a player coming a mile off.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

your totally contradicting yourself, we are on about HOW OTHERS TREAT YOU they treat you this way cause your a busy fool...training all day to become the heavyweight champion of the world is totally different ofcourse you should care about yaself

I don’t care about that. I will either stay away or force someone to treat me with respect if they’re an ass towards me. That’s not a problem. I’m talking about what I’m getting out of LIFE in return for WHAT I PUT IN.

How you r feeling might be a couple of things. One could be simple overtraining it's really good to take a break or just do something completely different once in a while.
What if it’s all I have left?
The other thing is you are quite Young and this forum exposes you to a lot of fairly heavy concepts. You are hanging out with a lot of older guys here who have significant life experience and are working through their own questions and issues. That's a lot to process for young guys I'd suggest you take a break from here every so often. When you were young you feel everything intensely and feel that any problem is a crisis and needs to be solved immediately. A lot of the issues we discuss here need years or even decades of work so try to keep a long-term perspective.
I figured out how to ha dale that stuff at 14. I’m not as young as my age in certain regards.
I don't think we can advise you on religion every man chooses their own journey. Myself I started out being raised Catholic and am probably more Buddhist nowadays. Which is more of a philosophy then a religion but that's another conversation.

I'd say rather than thinking of yourself as a good or bad person maybe surround yourself with good people instead. And by that I mean people who reciprocate. People who in their private and business life look for win-win approaches and who like to build people up. Yes you can get ahead by being a Machiavellian arseh0le but they aren't the people who build Society up. And it seems like you have a bit of a social conscience by nature.

Also in all the scientific studies on long term happiness that I'm aware of connection to family and friends is the number one Factor. Assh0les don't do well at that. So why not choose to be happy?
Yes I believe that this is my biggest failure right now. Most people have lived in the same place their whole entire life and only had to make friends once and get close to them once. I’ve had to do it about 5 different times already, 9 if you count smaller events. This is another part of my mental exhaustion. But now I’m not even getting better with my outlet which is the last straw for me.
The machiavellians and nietzscheans here make me smile. If they don't care about community and we are all rampant individualists why hang out here trying to help other guys?

How does one get rid of this feeling though? This desire to socialize or be with people or get close to them? At this point, I figure that it’s pointless trying to get close to others because so much **** happens that will take it away from me. And it’s not even that what discourages me, it’s that people here don’t try to make actual friends. Like shoot, even sex is more like a business transaction here more than anything and the girls here aren’t really that stunning either, although they are a whole lot better than last year. Maybe that’s what I need though.

I’ve been trying for years to get rid of this desire of closeness but it seems that I can’t override it. But I think now I’m starting to.

Bold.

 

[guru1000]

Yes, good things appear to happen to bad people.

Yes, bad things appear to happen to good people.

What's missing is:

1) We don't know all the good and bad acts of a good person nor a bad person. So to point to examples without knowing all the facts surrounding a person and all their acts is fruitless to the good/bad campaign;

2) To those who believe in past lives, we don't know if there were debts that had to be repaid.

Accordingly, the good upon bad and bad upon good ideology is inconclusive.

What we do know is:

1) Thoughts can affect matter: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/consciousness-affects-matter-and-thus-reality.244708/

2) People want to associate with other people who do good upon them;

3) Business relations and referrals are predicated on your doing good upon them;

4) You are less likely to get sued or thrown in jail if your acts are predicated upon good;

5) You will have less conflict from other people if your acts are predicated upon good.

As a weighted, logical decision, I don't see any benefit of being bad over good.

 

[ubercat]

I understand that you are unusually knowledgeable for your age. But what I'm saying is sometimes there aren't any shortcuts some life experience has to be gained by years. In other words try and not be so hard on yourself. You've got plenty of years to work these things out. And you are obviously a very smart guy success and peace will come.

In the meantime try and do all the proven stress relievers yoga meditation hiking in nature. And maybe find some groups to do it with they might be a more positive crowd.

 

[exhausted]

You arent good for others you are good for yourself.

Karma is real and you end up reaping what you sow eventually

I use to believe that.
Not anymore.

All ive done an no reward. Just schit on.
**** it all.

 

[exhausted]

I’m thinking more on terms of religion. A lot of the best of the best have broken the rules or done ****ty things to get to the top to be the stongest, richest, etc. Guru, you know this yourself. People say what goes around comes around and I understand that concept. But shouldn’t it also mean that what you put into life is what you get out of it too? I’ve put in so much work into certain aspects of my life, so my effort and strain, I have worked so hard. I almost never see anyone working as hard as I have, and when they do it is only on a very rare occasion. I’ve bled for this so much that I’ve got no blood left to give. Now my mind is deteriorating and my body weakening. How can someone claim all that yet there are those like me who are failing? I hate to bring god into this but that’s a last resort that I have to keep my sanity, and I hate praying to something or someone when I know I can fix a situation myself. But this is beyond my control. Life did NOT come back around for me. It seems that I’ve just been forgotten and left behind. I hate venting this crap. Why should I? I keep searching for an answer that I know I won’t find but I do so anyway because of some remnants of weakness left inside of me. What’s happened? Well I guess I know the answer to that one; life.

I'm in the same boat.
I give up. I'm naturally a good person who leads and carries others. It gets me no where.
Sometimes no matter what you do nothing works out.

If so innocent children wouldn't get cancer and die and child molesters wouldnt walk free their entire lives.

This world is chit.

Make it to the after world of heaven. Its all u can strive for.

Fuch this place and 95% of the people in it. Most of that percentage is chit women.

Even elderly grandmas freely tell me women today are garbage.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I understand that you are unusually knowledgeable for your age. But what I'm saying is sometimes there aren't any shortcuts some life experience has to be gained by years. In other words try and not be so hard on yourself. You've got plenty of years to work these things out. And you are obviously a very smart guy success and peace will come.

In the meantime try and do all the proven stress relievers yoga meditation hiking in nature. And maybe find some groups to do it with they might be a more positive crowd.

I have a deadline. I don’t have this whole ‘many years ahead of me’ thing to achieve my goals. I’ve got a little over 2 and a half years. But I don’t think I can achieve it due to things out of my control.

I'm in the same boat.
I give up. I'm naturally a good person who leads and carries others. It gets me no where.
Sometimes no matter what you do nothing works out.

If so innocent children wouldn't get cancer and die and child molesters wouldnt walk free their entire lives.

This world is chit.

Make it to the after world of heaven. Its all u can strive for.

Fuch this place and 95% of the people in it. Most of that percentage is chit women.

Even elderly grandmas freely tell me women today are garbage.

I think about stuff like that. It isn’t women that’s bothering me really, I’ve accepted how they are a little while ago. It’s also the fact that I see these people doing things detrimental towards themselves and they still grow and develop faster and better than me. Maybe I’m a little jealous, but I’ve lived long enough and competed against some of them enough to know that most of them don’t deserve to be ahead of me. Maybe they deserve to be good, maybe even great, but not ahead of me. Why am I lagging behind?

It’s not just like that in my situation. I see it everywhere. The idea of an afterlife is based of god or some supernatural deity. All these ideas about him render him as just and caring. Bull****. How is it fair you can see track athletes getting lung cancer, yet smokers of 40 years have nothing wrong with them? How is it that people can work so hard to get a good grade from studying and taking notes that they end up with a C or D on a test, and that kid sitting next to you who zones out a lot of time gets an A? How can you strive towards greatness and still not be great, yet others are inherently born with it? Life has been decided since the day we were all born. Our genes forced us to think certain ways towards our environment that also shaped how we think again. It shaped our mental and physical ability. It caused us to make decisions to effect those physical and mental abilities. It’s not of our own free will. One action caused us to do another action and thus another, and so on. The same goes for how we think about those things. Are we truly in control of our own destiny? It’s predetermined for us at conception. We were put on Earth so that some random dude in the sky can predetermine for us who he wants to favor and who he wants to suffer. That to me sounds rediculous. The more I grow and the older I get, the ****tier I see people becoming and the more opportunities I see where I can get away with lying, cheating, stealing. Most of this world is bull**** anyway so why should I stop myself anyway?

I’m just looking at life right now. I should be a LOT better than I am right now. A LOT. But I’m not. I see others surpassing me in a lot of endeavors that they shouldn’t be. Maybe this is what I need to lose all hope and to crush it. It’s what I wanted after all. Just not with my goals, just with my desire towards people. I’m getting too mad to type this so I’ll just leave this be.

 

[ubercat]

What is this 20 guesses? What s the mysterious deadline. People aren't posting to step on your d1ck they're trying to help you out.

So far it just sounds like a standard crisis of faith which is something pretty much every young guy goes through whether they tell you about it or not. It's a normal part of growing up and it's actually a sign that you're maturing.

 

[logicallefty]

I always say there is "nice" and there is "considerate". Nice people get taken advantage of. Considerate people get respected.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have a deadline. I don’t have this whole ‘many years ahead of me’ thing to achieve my goals. I’ve got a little over 2 and a half years. But I don’t think I can achieve it due to things out of my control.

I think about stuff like that. It isn’t women that’s bothering me really, I’ve accepted how they are a little while ago. It’s also the fact that I see these people doing things detrimental towards themselves and they still grow and develop faster and better than me. Maybe I’m a little jealous, but I’ve lived long enough and competed against some of them enough to know that most of them don’t deserve to be ahead of me. Maybe they deserve to be good, maybe even great, but not ahead of me. Why am I lagging behind?

It’s not just like that in my situation. I see it everywhere. The idea of an afterlife is based of god or some supernatural deity. All these ideas about him render him as just and caring. Bull****. How is it fair you can see track athletes getting lung cancer, yet smokers of 40 years have nothing wrong with them? How is it that people can work so hard to get a good grade from studying and taking notes that they end up with a C or D on a test, and that kid sitting next to you who zones out a lot of time gets an A? How can you strive towards greatness and still not be great, yet others are inherently born with it? Life has been decided since the day we were all born. Our genes forced us to think certain ways towards our environment that also shaped how we think again. It shaped our mental and physical ability. It caused us to make decisions to effect those physical and mental abilities. It’s not of our own free will. One action caused us to do another action and thus another, and so on. The same goes for how we think about those things. Are we truly in control of our own destiny? It’s predetermined for us at conception. We were put on Earth so that some random dude in the sky can predetermine for us who he wants to favor and who he wants to suffer. That to me sounds rediculous. The more I grow and the older I get, the ****tier I see people becoming and the more opportunities I see where I can get away with lying, cheating, stealing. Most of this world is bull**** anyway so why should I stop myself anyway?

I’m just looking at life right now. I should be a LOT better than I am right now. A LOT. But I’m not. I see others surpassing me in a lot of endeavors that they shouldn’t be. Maybe this is what I need to lose all hope and to crush it. It’s what I wanted after all. Just not with my goals, just with my desire towards people. I’m getting too mad to type this so I’ll just leave this be.

You might need to change your circle.

 

[Urbanyst]

What is a "good person"?

What is a "bad person"?

The majority of people are neither.

 

[switch7]

I am at a crossroads. I’ve always meant well for others even if I have wronged them. But certain events have lead me to believe that being more selfish to a near criminal level is the way to go. Maybe I’m asking this because I wish someone to reach to me lol. But overall I’m wondering why I should be a good person anymore. I feel exhausted and a little dead inside. No it wasn’t a girl. It was probably just me and my thoughts that I could be better than I am or was meant to be. I think I’m done. But I want to hear what you guys have to say anyway. Is it worth it to be a good person at all nowadays?

It's really difficult to give any constructive advice without knowing the context of your problem. Maybe you could detail exactly what it is that has happened

 

[Von]

The United States Navy Seals have a saying..."If you ain't cheating,you ain't trying". Cheating is basically the act of skirting with limits and going past them.(so you don't have to be so damn honest to get ahead in life) But being a bad guy like Ted Bundy,Adolf Hitler,Devin Kelley...is not the way to go,it ended very badly for those fellas.

But what if he is Stalin, Tito, Fidel Castro, any dictators who died in their sleep after killing millions of their own to consolidate central power

Grewd as the best advice. I was like you DoubleGreatest... being nice to the point of going out of your way to please to make friend or to help... people will rôle you over especially if they have no respect for you.

I've been selfish and focus on myself in the past year... Life never been better but their still up and down but I see à light. Yes, I still do good for others but I never impose it on myself of others.

You are discovering the life of a "nice" guy.
Time to be a good guy

 

[switch7]

But what if he is Stalin, Tito, Fidel Castro, any dictators who died in their sleep after killing millions of their own to consolidate central power

Grewd as the best advice. I was like you DoubleGreatest... being nice to the point of going out of your way to please to make friend or to help... people will rôle you over especially if they have no respect for you.

I've been selfish and focus on myself in the past year... Life never been better but their still up and down but I see à light. Yes, I still do good for others but I never impose it on myself of others.

You are discovering the life of a "nice" guy.
Time to be a good guy

Let's not forget the 'nice guy' isn't really being nice. The nice guy is using manipulation tactics to try and get what he wants and then complaining when these tactics don't work. Codependency is the psychological term.

 

[PapiChulo]

I can say one thing here, you can't just rationally choose to behave in an immoral way. For instance, If other people are selfish/lying/cheating/abusive, therefore I will also act this way, because that is the way the world is wired. Logical arguments don't apply in such cases. This whole thing goes much much deeper (into your soul if you will). Every person has core values that are so deeply ingrained in them, whether by nature or by nurture, that they are very hard to willingly ignore. One thing you can be certain of is your values, not other people's values and you absolutely must stay true to them. You are gonna be much better off and happier this way. Please consider the fact that that people suffering PTSD in majority of cases do so not because of the things done to them but rather the acts they had committed themselves. Their ptsd is the result of not being able to come to terms with it. But if your values agree with, for example, homicide then why not, you can kill someone and be on your merry way. There are folks out there that are hell-bent on taking revenge against the world and humanity that derive pleasure from doing despicable things every day.

 

[exhausted]

I can say one thing here, you can't just rationally choose to behave in an immoral way. For instance, If other people are selfish/lying/cheating/abusive, therefore I will also act this way, because that is the way the world is wired. Logical arguments don't apply in such cases. This whole thing goes much much deeper (into your soul if you will). Every person has core values that are so deeply ingrained in them, whether by nature or by nurture, that they are very hard to willingly ignore. One thing you can be certain of is your values, not other people's values and you absolutely must stay true to them. You are gonna be much better off and happier this way. Please consider the fact that that people suffering PTSD in majority of cases do so not because of the things done to them but rather the acts they had committed themselves. Their ptsd is the result of not being able to come to terms with it. But if your values agree with, for example, homicide then why not, you can kill someone and be on your merry way. There are folks out there that are hell-bent on taking revenge against the world and humanity that derive pleasure from doing despicable things every day.

Being honest, genuine, moral with values and integrity along with responsibilit and tresting women well has gotten me no where. The quicker I was alpha in my rela the quicker there were constant problems.

Today's entitled selfish cvnt wants nothing but to control everything.

When u dont let her there are problems and things fail