Do Good Looking Men Need to Play Mind Games?

[jaymbrs]

I have had a pretty high success rate in getting females. A lot of that attributed to my social circles. But I recently moved to another state and have had to start from scratch, hence why I joined this board for ideas on a particular situation I'm dealing with. Most, if not all the recommendations I've received is to ignore, act uninterested, don't return calls/texts promptly, etc. Which raises the question: is this advice for everyone or is it aimed towards guys who do not possess physical attractiveness? I can't help but question these recommendations as I've never had to do that to get female interest. It seems very counter-intuitive.

This is just my input as it pertains to me personally but do any other DJs here understand where I'm coming from?

 

[byers90]

Lets use our heads - a woman finds a man good looking ----> probability she'd want to be with him goes up. A big thing on this forum at least it used to be back in the day was that a woman decides in the first few seconds whether she'd be with a guy or not....if that's the case we are not obviously factoring in personality or anything else into the equation - we're going solely by looks.

Everything else that you listed was never meant to be a "tool" in order to attract women, it should be come naturally. You probably do it with your male friends; you most likely don't sweat your friends and bust their balls for the hell of it - apply that to women. Now if in her eyes you are unattractive, no playing it cool, ****y n' funny, negging is going to ****ing matter - in fact you are likely to get the opposite where she'll become annoyed and hate your guts assuming there is some sort of connection, albeit a non romantic one. I saw this specifically happen back in the day when I started college back in the mid 2000's and pua was new and "hot" at the time - there was some guy in one of my classes who was really into it and him and I would talk about this things. I saw this guy guy run one of the routines on some classmate of ours, he came from the "you aren't on my level" angle and the problem was and this isn't meant to **** on him, but he deep down wasn't confident and nor did he have the swag to pull it off, but he was under the assumption that was EXACTLY what you had to do....you can guess what happened....it looked fake and didn't go over well. This classmate basically laughed at and dissed him.

Some people are naturally manipulative and play mind games with everyone - and when it works people are like "wow, that is the way" - it is the way for that person since that is how THAT person is- it's not a one size fits all approach.

 

[claudolfgeorgini]

The way I look at it is if a woman finds you very attractive for ANY reason (usually good looks) you don't need to play mind games with her.

 

[jaymbrs]

Lets use our heads - a woman finds a man good looking ----> probability she'd want to be with him goes up. A big thing on this forum at least it used to be back in the day was that a woman decides in the first few seconds whether she'd be with a guy or not....if that's the case we are not obviously factoring in personality or anything else into the equation - we're going solely by looks.

Everything else that you listed was never meant to be a "tool" in order to attract women, it should be come naturally. You probably do it with your male friends; you most likely don't sweat your friends and bust their balls for the hell of it - apply that to women. Now if in her eyes you are unattractive, no playing it cool, ****y n' funny, negging is going to ****ing matter - in fact you are likely to get the opposite where she'll become annoyed and hate your guts assuming there is some sort of connection, albeit a non romantic one. I saw this specifically happen back in the day when I started college back in the mid 2000's and pua was new and "hot" at the time - there was some guy in one of my classes who was really into it and him and I would talk about this things. I saw this guy guy run one of the routines on some classmate of ours, he came from the "you aren't on my level" angle and the problem was and this isn't meant to **** on him, but he deep down wasn't confident and nor did he have the swag to pull it off, but he was under the assumption that was EXACTLY what you had to do....you can guess what happened....it looked fake and didn't go over well. This classmate basically laughed at and dissed him.

Some people are naturally manipulative and play mind games with everyone - and when it works people are like "wow, that is the way" - it is the way for that person since that is how THAT person is- it's not a one size fits all approach.

I agree very much with this. I'm convinced most of the mind games girls play stem from something they read about in a Cosmo magazine or something.

The way I look at it is if a woman finds you very attractive for ANY reason (usually good looks) you don't need to play mind games with her.

I'm going to disagree because it does happen. Sometimes the reasoning is due to past negative experiences, having more than 1 attractive man pursuing her, or just being stupid.

 

[byers90]

I agree very much with this. I'm convinced most of the mind games girls play stem from something they read about in a Cosmo magazine or something.

You just have to remember it all stems from wanting to be the prize - they have to make it seem like they are so hard to get and because they are willing to let you "get them", that you must be "special". The games that happen once you are with them usually have a different purpose but it all stems from insecurity, yeah. Very few women are blunt and upfront....the important thing is to just maintain your frame as they say around these parts. Don't bite and don't be afraid to call them out on it if necessary....there's been times where i've called them out on what they are doing - it comes as a shock and most of the time they later apologize (after they stop being butthurt about what happened).

 

[jaymbrs]

its universal advice.

if there isnt enough initial attraction, it will fvck with your head if youre chasing after her. a few teases, a few flakes a few ambigous words and you will convince yourself shes playing games.

nothing to do with making up for a lack of skills. many good looking men can get girls but its usually for other reasons than their looks. although thats not to say that being very good looking doesnt help.

the advice you are being offered is not "mind games" its the behavior that a sought after mate exhibits. it might sound like "fake it till you make it"

but if you really truly believe that you are a prize catch, are you really faking it?

Yea true. I can see this being a real thing. And I'm assuming you mean this goes for both men and women.

 

[jaymbrs]

Just to add to this, whenever I play hard to get or pretend like I'm uninterested or don't care, women have admitted to me that it seems like I seriously just don't care. That the way I carry myself discourages them to continue their pursuit of me. In other words, I'm overdoing it and it's probable that I'm not seeing the line at which I should stop. It's impossible for anyone here to know where I'm going wrong but that's kinda where I am with this.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Just to add to this, whenever I play hard to get or pretend like I'm uninterested or don't care, women have admitted to me that it seems like I seriously just don't care. That the way I carry myself discourages them to continue their pursuit of me. In other words, I'm overdoing it and it's probable that I'm not seeing the line at which I should stop. It's impossible for anyone here to know where I'm going wrong but that's kinda where I am with this.

Instead of playing just have a full life.

 

[jaymbrs]

Instead of playing just have a full life.

There definitely is a fine line between living a full life and just not making time for someone. The result in the end is the same regardless.

 

[Macaframalama]

Just to add to this, whenever I play hard to get or pretend like I'm uninterested or don't care, women have admitted to me that it seems like I seriously just don't care. That the way I carry myself discourages them to continue their pursuit of me.

I had an ex tell me this exact same thing the other day, when talking about how we first met. I just generally had the tendency to push and rarely pull with everything back then. Nowadays, I text or call whenever I feel like it. I just treat it like as if I were contacting a friend. Would I want a friend blowing me up like this and vice versa?.?. Just be conscious of if you are starting to over-awe or pedestalize and rein yourself in. If I know that I have been busy with everything and haven't been in contact with them, they will usually initiate contact and i will pull a little more. You will get a feel for it and it will become more natural. It's honestly best to keep it as natural as possible to begin with. If you like her and feel like telling her, let her know it. Just be mindful to not become that smothering guy. I usually reserve the pushing for bantering and punishment anymore.

 

[jaymbrs]

right, its impossible for anyone to know and anyone that tells you anything with any certainty is trying to sell you something.

it could be a number of reasons.

the women you are interested in might be past the "caraousel" stage and looking for serious commitment and thus gaming them, push-pull, acting aloof might be overkill and they wont respond to that. most of these women require way more rapport than their counter-parts. they might be ticking boxes for the perfect provider type to settle down with.

you might be too much of an attractive prospect (rare cases) and perceived to be out of reach for them to actually try to gain your attention.

or theyre simply not interested (usually the case) and whatever reason they give you is the rationalization (irrelevant) for why theyre not doing the dance with you.

whatever the case, just remember to judge them on what they do, not what they say. then you wont be the guy saying things like "she told me she thought i was cute but then she flaked the day of our date wtffff!!!" or "my ex gf said she loved me but shes having xyz issues and cant be with me atm"

Very good insight.

I've been under the notion that the game has changed when really, it's probably just me getting older and I'm dating women who are also older. I perhaps need to adjust my game accordingly.

BTW was in a serious relationship from 25-29 so I missed out on a good chunk of time practicing if you will. Although I wasn't exactly faithful during that time.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

There definitely is a fine line between living a full life and just not making time for someone. The result in the end is the same regardless.

Wow. That not making time for someone is a ***** if your on the receiving end.

 

[wifehunter]

the game = social economics

It will be around long after we're all dead and gone.

 

[Red Legg]

You better damn well know how to play mind games or at least know how to counter them,women are experts at them.

 

[wifehunter]

You better damn well know how to play mind games or at least know how to counter them,women are experts at them.

Yep, the best way to learn to kick a$$, is to get your a$$ kicked!

 

[malz1]

Yes you will encounter mind games but not as much as the average man. Women will focus more on bonding with you than putting walls up. The walls put up will be easy to climb but even then I don't even try to climb it. I expect her to put a hole through it. You're the pedestal so it would be counter-productive for her to play games and they should know it. The women that are a little confused on that can simply be dismissed if it displeases you.

If you are handsome, then unless you have serious competition, women should behave generally like how beta males treat attractive women. Forget being the awesome personality guy. No need to sell yourself as a worthy fit. Drop a lot of the gaming advice out there - it makes you think of unnecessary plans, routines, styles, and approaches. Confusion.

I rarely lead. If they like you they'll lead you and you just need to follow. "Screen, do little, and allow them to chase" is my game now. I expect to be treated well and baby-stepped with few inconveniences. I know my value. A few nights ago, I talked to an orbitor (hb7) outside a night club. I said less than 20 words probably but a min later she led me to the club, offered and paid my $30 cover, and paid for my drink. She kept mentioning finding her boyfriend but I just ignored it and continued to let her chase and grind me.

When you truly Know your self-value and dating options, everything seems to fall in place.

 

[Mazer]

If both, the woman and man are good looking then you bet your ass you have to play mind games with her.

 

[Billtx49]

I have had a pretty high success rate in getting females. A lot of that attributed to my social circles. But I recently moved to another state

Establish your character in the new state and make new social circles. Blend into your new environment…
Don’t expect instalays in a new state until the foundation is installed.

 

[malz1]

Establish your character in the new state and make new social circles. Blend into your new environment…
Don’t expect instalays in a new state until the foundation is installed.

In my experience, things like foundation-building and blending in, outside of knowing what offends her, is unnecessary if handsome. Just presence and middle-school level communication my man. Albeit the pool of attracted girls will grow when showing some substance of course but that's mainly to compensate for not being at a higher level of attractiveness.

As a personal issue, I used to have Very bad social anxiety, putting off unapproachable vibes. I wasnt aware of this so naturally I thought I needed game even though I was supposedly good looking. After getting the hint and feeling bad in general, I worked to manage my anxiety. All of a sudden the tables were flipped and ideas such as "alpha," "good personality," and "comm. structures" fell apart in the face of how blantantly easy things have become. The many theories and books of literature on game out there mostly seem silly to me now. At least from a certain perspective, that is. Very few game ideas are valid such as not being needy tho I cautiously associate the idea and others with game and more to do with not being a really awkward human being.

 

[Infern0]

No, and in fact it can backfire on you.

Once i'd gotten myself into amazing shape, aquired a good sense of style etc etc etc I started to get a lot of INITIAL attractions.

Then i deployed typical "red pill" advice such as going missing for a day, replying to texts hours later, negging, etc etc etc and literally I had women saying yeah you are hot but so full of yourself and a douche

I'm not kidding!!!

Best bet is be yourself, be caring and a good man just don't be a needy little boy.