Wtf is she doing?

[exhausted]

These are the definition of vacuous people. No matter how much you give them it is never enough, they are always in need of more, they always must be the center of attention, they are forever victims in their own lives because they cannot be filled. And it is rather sad, because often they are the way they are as a result of something that happened to them that was not their fault. They become resentful, or angry or constantly keep score because everything for them in relationship is transactional. Everything is "what have you done for ME lately" and they get spiteful if they are asked to give you anything at all because they feel so empty they are so busy gobbling up attention and affection and priority for themselves they really don't feel as though they HAVE anything to give. And if they do it's about payback and getting even and scorecard. And they will take and take and take with entitlement and without apology. And they are indignant if you mention the way they constantly take.

Bingo!

Mine once said " i only give what i get"

I said wtf kind of thinking is that? If that s how we are suppose to be NO one would do anything!!!nothing would ever move.

What a fool

 

[Bucko]

This is solid here and a benchmark for guys wondering when they're going to ever get over a cluster b nightmare. Once you're at the point where you can think of them in this regard you can rest assured you've done some serious healing, as you already know. But yes, the fallout from that and realizing what really happened is hard to deal with.

I've done some serious reading on the subject and yes whatever type of pain they experienced as a young child is serious stuff. Pretty sure it was molestation in the case of the girl I was with.

Heh. With my ex she'd told me something about being molested by a family member. I'd told her it wasn't her fault. Funny thing was though she told me that I really think these same types also use their own tragedies in life to PURPOSEFULLY tell you in order to get YOU to be THEIR victim. As in they want to see how you react, it gives them an "excuse" to try to get over on / abuse others and be completely selfish while stringing you along with sob stories. I look at it as there are many others who have experienced the SAME treatment earlier in life and don't act toxic to others so the sob story is zero excuse to spread the toxic behavior around.

I always watched though, actions matching words. It was like I was in the relationship but also fully aware of things being amiss with the same person I was with. Gently brought certain things to her attention at times which pretty much went in one ear and out the other. Did I confront her on it? Nope. Just sat back as normal, watched red flag after the next pop up and gave her enough rope to hang herself with till I simply and literally said "enough of you", walked away and never looked back. No reply, no text, no call, no email, nada. If you have to teach an adult how to act like an normal adult it's not worth your time and effort. Just learn and grow in a positive direction for you.

God help the dude who ends up with her. Completely toxic chick to the core. Selfish isn't even the tip of the ice burg. I could literally post a laundry list. My ex is the type I wouldn't be surprised in the least to try to get pregnant to get a steady second income out of a dude and pilfer his bank account should any dude ever be dumb and desperate enough to marry her.

Leave them where you found them.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I always watched though, actions matching words. It was like I was in the relationship but also fully aware of things being amiss with the same person I was with. Gently brought certain things to her attention at times which pretty much went in one ear and out the other. Did I confront her on it? Nope. Just sat back as normal, watched red flag after the next pop up and gave her enough rope to hang herself with till I simply and literally said "enough of you"

I can relate to this quite a bit. Although instead of doing the right thing, what you did, I kept projecting my want for the perfect woman onto her essentially ignoring and rationalizing away any concerns that I felt in my gut for these red flags. What's truly ironic and stupid and sad all mixed up in one is that I knew what I was dealing with on the 3rd date. I should have walked right there. Instead, I hung around for a year and a half and got completely wrecked.

 

[Bucko]

I can relate to this quite a bit. Although instead of doing the right thing, what you did, I kept projecting my want for the perfect woman onto her essentially ignoring and rationalizing away any concerns that I felt in my gut for these red flags. What's truly ironic and stupid and sad all mixed up in one is that I knew what I was dealing with on the 3rd date. I should have walked right there. Instead, I hung around for a year and a half and got completely wrecked.

Dude I can relate 100%. Chick I dated I could tell was potential bad news even before we met. Thing was I was blowing off toxic chicks left and right before I met her and stopped myself thinking "I" was the issue and to give someone a chance. Proved myself correct in never doubting my common sense. Lasted a year and literally just dropped the chick.

Again laundry list of red flags. And again God help the dude who's co-dependent enough to get into an ltr let alone ever marry that chick. She'll destroy him.

My ex could literally be the poster girl for toxic chicks. No joke

 

[Bucko]

I can relate to this quite a bit. Although instead of doing the right thing, what you did, I kept projecting my want for the perfect woman onto her essentially ignoring and rationalizing away any concerns that I felt in my gut for these red flags. What's truly ironic and stupid and sad all mixed up in one is that I knew what I was dealing with on the 3rd date. I should have walked right there. Instead, I hung around for a year and a half and got completely wrecked.

You have to be a whole and complete person with or without someone. Not needing someone to complete you as if you're incomplete and or broken alone.

My thing is I always keep my cool, watch actions matching lip service, and play "dumb" so if the person thinks they're getting over all I'm doing is giving them enough rope to hang themselves with till I drop them for good. No sense investing in something that isn't worth it. Invest in yourself. Learn from the experience and move on. Let them be someone else problem.

 

[exhausted]

At the time though you never see this as something a sociopath would say, you see

This was actually near the end. I brought it up a few days later after a fight when she was calm and listening and she just did not have any responses to it. but yes you are right there are many things said that you look back on you missed, I know I do. I just cant get over the fact that mine was a fun good nice person half the time and then BAM out of no where just flip out and a cvnt *****..... Just unreal to be having a wonderful day and then the mood just changes and you get the silent treatment and that wave of anxiety go over you and the feeling that the day is fucched. then when i ended things i get told how much she loves me and wants a life forever with me. like wtf....you want to be my wife, want me to help raise your kid, want us to be life partners and best friends, but something so simple like you think my kid interrupted you and then you get mad at me and ignore me at a restaurant for an hour, let me pay for the meal, ignore me in the car and at the house for an hour then just get up and leave like a cvnt... the mind fuchery is unreal. absolute mental and emotional abuse

like they are too stupid to realize you should treat your life partner good, not like an enemy.

Never in my life did i ever see my mom or dad mistreat one another. even if they weren't happy they were always a team

my ex is a legitimate dumbass and doesn't even know it.

and what is with this site censoring cuss words? my God allow us to vent

 

[exhausted]

Heh. With my ex she'd told me something about being molested by a family member. I'd told her it wasn't her fault. Funny thing was though she told me that I really think these same types also use their own tragedies in life to PURPOSEFULLY tell you in order to get YOU to be THEIR victim. As in they want to see how you react, it gives them an "excuse" to try to get over on / abuse others and be completely selfish while stringing you along with sob stories. I look at it as there are many others who have experienced the SAME treatment earlier in life and don't act toxic to others so the sob story is zero excuse to spread the toxic behavior around.

I always watched though, actions matching words. It was like I was in the relationship but also fully aware of things being amiss with the same person I was with. Gently brought certain things to her attention at times which pretty much went in one ear and out the other. Did I confront her on it? Nope. Just sat back as normal, watched red flag after the next pop up and gave her enough rope to hang herself with till I simply and literally said "enough of you", walked away and never looked back. No reply, no text, no call, no email, nada. If you have to teach an adult how to act like an normal adult it's not worth your time and effort. Just learn and grow in a positive direction for you.

God help the dude who ends up with her. Completely toxic chick to the core. Selfish isn't even the tip of the ice burg. I could literally post a laundry list. My ex is the type I wouldn't be surprised in the least to try to get pregnant to get a steady second income out of a dude and pilfer his bank account should any dude ever be dumb and desperate enough to marry her.

Leave them where you found them.

I can relate.
can you name off some of the red flags she kept displaying?

 

[exhausted]

I can relate to this quite a bit. Although instead of doing the right thing, what you did, I kept projecting my want for the perfect woman onto her essentially ignoring and rationalizing away any concerns that I felt in my gut for these red flags. What's truly ironic and stupid and sad all mixed up in one is that I knew what I was dealing with on the 3rd date. I should have walked right there. Instead, I hung around for a year and a half and got completely wrecked.

what happened on the third date?

we all made mistakes and held on for dear life for a loooooong time. I was over a year in and bonded beyond belief. didnt help i met her 6 months after finding my dad deceased then having to go through that. here I though God sent me my life companion at the time I needed her. instead it was the devil sending in a demon.

 

[Bucko]

I can relate.
can you name off some of the red flags she kept displaying?

Tells me on the first date her ex "gave" her money and when they broke up he wanted it back and she told him "no you gave that money to me". I was thinking hmmm. So even IF he "gave" you this small amount of money you couldn't just give it back to be done with him? Shyt was suspect. Someone "gives" me money and we end a friendship I'm not telling them they "gave" it to me and can't have it back. I'm giving them back the money and moving on. Chick was definitely a selfish chick looking for come ups.

Out drunk another night on the phone with me walking home. Alone. For blocks.

Smoked weed. Not in front of me but I know she did.

"Ex" club chick.

Normal adult conversation was like talking to a spoiled kid.

The molestation by a family member story.

Self proclaimed "hopeless romantic" aka hopeless, and "romantic" as in you provide I take. Zero reciprocation. You get involved with one of them they live in a delusional fantasy dream world where their "soul mate" must be perfect, walk on eggshells for their unlimited emotional driven at the time satisfaction or else you aren't the "one" and believe me they'll be looking elsewhere.

Feeling like you couldn't trust the chick as far as you could throw her.

Pig headed to the point of wondering at times if she was mentally retarded without the downs syndrome.

Attention seeker.

Friends that met her? Disliked her almost immediately.

And that's nowhere near the half of it.

The chick was literally though having some good qualities and we got along for the most part was if I hadn't been trying to see if "I" was the problem blowing off toxic chicks in the past and up till I met her the type i wouldnt even bother to meet in the first place.

I already knew about narcissism etc. After dropping her I had to see if my suspicions were correct and this chick hit the nail on the head 100%.

Too bad for her she had zero clue I was on to everything. I just let her think I was a dumb "nice guy". Gave her the rope, pulled the cord and bounced.

 

[exhausted]

Tells me on the first date her ex "gave" her money and when they broke up he wanted it back and she told him "no you gave that money to me". I was thinking hmmm. So even IF he "gave" you this small amount of money you couldn't just give it back to be done with him? Shyt was suspect. Someone "gives" me money and we end a friendship I'm not telling them they "gave" it to me and can't have it back. I'm giving them back the money and moving on. Chick was definitely a selfish chick looking for come ups.

Out drunk another night on the phone with me walking home. Alone. For blocks.

Smoked weed. Not in front of me but I know she did.

"Ex" club chick.

Normal adult conversation was like talking to a spoiled kid.

The molestation by a family member story.

Self proclaimed "hopeless romantic" aka hopeless, and "romantic" as in you provide I take. Zero reciprocation. You get involved with one of them they live in a delusional fantasy dream world where their "soul mate" must be perfect, walk on eggshells for their unlimited emotional driven at the time satisfaction or else you aren't the "one" and believe me they'll be looking elsewhere.

Feeling like you couldn't trust the chick as far as you could throw her.

Pig headed to the point of wondering at times if she was mentally retarded without the downs syndrome.

Attention seeker.

Friends that met her? Disliked her almost immediately.

And that's nowhere near the half of it.

The chick was literally though having some good qualities and we got along for the most part was if I hadn't been trying to see if "I" was the problem blowing off toxic chicks in the past and up till I met her the type i wouldnt even bother to meet in the first place.

I already knew about narcissism etc. After dropping her I had to see if my suspicions were correct and this chick hit the nail on the head 100%.

Too bad for her she had zero clue I was on to everything. I just let her think I was a dumb "nice guy". Gave her the rope, pulled the cord and bounced.

Yep.

Similar to mine.

Selfish beyond belief.

Always the victim.

Never reciprocate effort. No empathy.

Ex pot head for 4 years daily and she told me this.

Always talking about an ex but to make herself the victim in the situation.

Stubborn beyond reach.

Literally unreachable when she was mad.

Childlike tantrums.


These females are disturbing.

We are lucky to be out

 

[Bucko]

This was actually near the end. I brought it up a few days later after a fight when she was calm and listening and she just did not have any responses to it. but yes you are right there are many things said that you look back on you missed, I know I do. I just cant get over the fact that mine was a fun good nice person half the time and then BAM out of no where just flip out and a cvnt *****..... Just unreal to be having a wonderful day and then the mood just changes and you get the silent treatment and that wave of anxiety go over you and the feeling that the day is fucched. then when i ended things i get told how much she loves me and wants a life forever with me. like wtf....you want to be my wife, want me to help raise your kid, want us to be life partners and best friends, but something so simple like you think my kid interrupted you and then you get mad at me and ignore me at a restaurant for an hour, let me pay for the meal, ignore me in the car and at the house for an hour then just get up and leave like a cvnt... the mind fuchery is unreal. absolute mental and emotional abuse

like they are too stupid to realize you should treat your life partner good, not like an enemy.

Never in my life did i ever see my mom or dad mistreat one another. even if they weren't happy they were always a team

my ex is a legitimate dumbass and doesn't even know it.

and what is with this site censoring cuss words? my God allow us to vent

You need to realize people like your ex expect to be abandoned by either you the next and so on. Their brains are broken. They are mentally ill.

She was doing that trauma bonding to you. Great then abusive, "sorry", back to "nice" then abusive.

With my ex she tried things like that but it didn't work. I knew her better than she knew herself. I just observed and kept my cool because I knew I had no problems dropping her at any time for good. I wasn't going to invest in foolery.

It was like shed get completely confused at why I wouldn't react and just talk as if nothing happened.

These types only get worse. Doesn't matter who they're with. They need a co-dependent that feeds off dysfunction to stay with them till they drop that person and "medicate" themselves with their own crazy for the rest of their life.

Sad as it may sound you can only laugh to yourself as they are beyond help and you are free from the constant mental torment that they cannot escape in their diseased mind.

That's life.

 

[btownbuck2012]

what happened on the third date?

we all made mistakes and held on for dear life for a loooooong time. I was over a year in and bonded beyond belief. didnt help i met her 6 months after finding my dad deceased then having to go through that. here I though God sent me my life companion at the time I needed her. instead it was the devil sending in a demon.

She told me about her parent's bizarre relationship and mentioned how she "wasn't a very nice person".
Yup I'm an idiot.

 

[guru1000]

Thing was I was blowing off toxic chicks left and right before I met her and stopped myself thinking "I" was the issue and to give someone a chance.

You are the issue.

Let's see if I understand this correctly:

You, Naughty Ninja, troll SoSuave with a new handle each week, which gets banned;
You, Naughty Ninja, has had over 100+ banned handles on this site;
You, Naughty Ninja, harass SoSuave members on a daily basis;
You, Naughty Ninja, troll SoSuave with stupid-ass threads;
You, Naughty Ninja, live on a monthly disability check, because you're too lazy to work;
You, Naughty Ninja, have zero friends;
You, Naughty Ninja, can only meet mentally-disabled women because healthy women won't even look at you.

The problem is not the market. The problem is YOU. Go get some mental help.

 

[Bucko]

Yep.

Similar to mine.

Selfish beyond belief.

Always the victim.

Never reciprocate effort. No empathy.

Ex pot head for 4 years daily and she told me this.

Always talking about an ex but to make herself the victim in the situation.

Stubborn beyond reach.

Literally unreachable when she was mad.

Childlike tantrums.


These females are disturbing.

We are lucky to be out

Same mutherfvcking sh1t.

The projection was a real knee slapper to me.

It's all men. She believes in "love".

If some chick tries to blame everything on exes I just listen and don't get ego invested like "I'm the better man". I think I wonder if I knew the dude and not her what HIS side of the story would be like.

Some of these chicks will try to gas your head up like a mofo with words, sex, declarations of "love", tell you what they think you want to hear but I'm past that. I observe actions matching words. Talk is cheap. I kind of find it amusing though as myself they don't realize I'm whole and complete already and don't hang on to lip service as the end all be all.

 

[exhausted]

She told me about her parent's bizarre relationship and mentioned how she "wasn't a very nice person".
Yup I'm an idiot.

The one time she was being honest and yiu dont listen. Ha