28 year old man who has never had a girlfriend

[bigdave17]

I'm going to make a very long story short. I'm a 28 year old dude who has never had a girlfriend. I was fat in high school so that destroyed my confidence. After high school, I worked obsessively hard to improve myself but success in dating was slow to come. Finally, last few years, I've started to have some women show interest in me but they've been all single moms, over 30 or overweight. I've had horrible luck with the kind of women I want to date

As it stands now, I think I'm a pretty awesome catch. I am

- decent looking face
- 5'10 195, like a football player body type. Dress very sharp
- make 160K a year, have my own house, nice car
- good social circle
- great lifestyle
- educated and intelligent

I basically want the female equivalent of that (a cute, fit, mid 20s woman with no kids and a good head on her shoulders) but I don't meet a lot of that living in the suburbs, and the ones I do meet never seem to like me! It's so unbelievably frustrating. I've had some good looking single moms and over 30 women be very interested in me. Is it that much harder to get a cute mid 20s girl to be interested?

What would you guys recommend?

 

[skinnyguy]

How often do you cold approach college HBs?

 

[RangerMIke]

What city/country do you live in?

Living in the 'burbs in not where you will find the women you are interested in. Chicks in their twenties live in the cities. I would find a place in whatever city you live in that is under revitalization, and find a place to live there. It doesn't have to be a great place, because it will be more expensive, but it does have to be interesting. Normally you will find these women living together, 4 to an apt, living like they are still in a college dorm.

My next suggestion would be to go on Facebook, and look for events in your city that seam to be attracting young women, and go and participate. There are any number of organizations and free stuff to do that these women are going to. Here in my city there are a number of micro-brewers popping up. And a lot o organizations use these for fund-raising events. This is where you can meet women. You have built in rapport and it's easy to talk to them, get number make dates... it's easy.

They typically will involve themselves with organizations promoting social issues (environmental, education, et. al.) Go ahead and join these groups. You do not have to be a believer... in fact if you aren't, so much the better. Just tell them you are trying to keep your mind open and learn more... and let them try to change you and inform you. Then stick to your principles, don't be an @ss or get angry, be nice and don't insult them, and it will drive them nuts. The harder they try the more committed, the easier it is to build rapport.

 

[bigdave17]

How often do you cold approach college HBs?

not looking for that

I want a serious relationship so I want someone educated/established/successful in addition to being attractive

 

[switch7]

not looking for that

I want a serious relationship so I want someone educated/established/successful in addition to being attractive

If you want long term sexual interest from a female you need game. If I could only have one quality to get women I would choose outer and inner game. The job, the car the money the looks, they are all just sprinkles on the cake (albeit some bigger than others) the sponge however is the game.

 

[Mr Wright]

I want a serious relationship so I want someone educated/established/successful in addition to being attractive

Okay what do you do that brings women into your life? Are you hanging out where the type of woman you want to meet goes to?

 

[bigdave17]

Okay what do you do that brings women into your life? Are you hanging out where the type of woman you want to meet goes to?

I go to the gym 5 to 6 times a week. I see tons of beautiful women at my gym but approaching them is insanely hard

I go out to every kind of social gathering as much as I can, but I just haven't had any opportunities with anybody I can date

 

[Bible_Belt]

I want someone educated/established/successful in addition to being attractive

If she had all that, she wouldn't be single. And if she is, there is probably a reason.

 

[bigdave17]

If she had all that, she wouldn't be single. And if she is, there is probably a reason.

I have all that and I'm single, why is there no female version of me

 

[resilient]

I have all that and I'm single, why is there no female version of me

You have a lot to learn, OP.

Since you’re new, start by reading the Don Juan bible. Your SMV (sexual market value) helps you net more fish, you still have to run tight game to get the plates you want and compete with other guys with similiar-to-higher status.

What you are doesn’t entitle you to anything.

 

[Urbanyst]

Move to the city.

Its almost too easy here.

The suburbs are for families and fatties. HOT women move to the city because that's where men with MONEY are along with most good jobs.

 

[bigdave17]

Move to the city.

Its almost too easy here.

The suburbs are for families and fatties. HOT women move to the city because that's where men with MONEY are along with most good jobs.

I can't move to the city dude

I have a house, a fantastic paying job, great friends and family within 10 minutes of me. I can't uproot that in hopes that it will magically fix my dating issues

 

[Roober]

I'm going to make a very long story short. I'm a 28 year old dude who has never had a girlfriend. I was fat in high school so that destroyed my confidence. After high school, I worked obsessively hard to improve myself but success in dating was slow to come. Finally, last few years, I've started to have some women show interest in me but they've been all single moms, over 30 or overweight. I've had horrible luck with the kind of women I want to date

As it stands now, I think I'm a pretty awesome catch. I am

- decent looking face
- 5'10 195, like a football player body type. Dress very sharp
- make 160K a year, have my own house, nice car
- good social circle
- great lifestyle
- educated and intelligent

I basically want the female equivalent of that (a cute, fit, mid 20s woman with no kids and a good head on her shoulders) but I don't meet a lot of that living in the suburbs, and the ones I do meet never seem to like me! It's so unbelievably frustrating. I've had some good looking single moms and over 30 women be very interested in me. Is it that much harder to get a cute mid 20s girl to be interested?

What would you guys recommend?

None of your qualities talk about inner game. Your focused too much on your exterior and what you have to offer. Having a sound mind with confidence and a DGAF attitude is unique, especially as you get older. There are just as many men that are mentally fvcked up as women.

Good social circle? Maybe a bit more description there
Great lifestyle? Everyone thinks theirs is great. What is great about yours?

It sounds like you know your a catch, but ultimately fall short in actually believing it. Either that, or you come across as completely arrogant in person. It could also be as what Pook describes, you are not a sexual being. Women see you a good guy, but not someone they want to fvck.

There is too much missing to make an assessment of where you are failing. A good place for you to start would be with...
1. Dominance by True Story
2. The Book of Pook
3. The DJ Bible
4. The Rationale Male

 

[Urbanyst]

I can't move to the city dude

I have a house, a fantastic paying job, great friends and family within 10 minutes of me. I can't uproot that in hopes that it will magically fix my dating issues

Then you just have to deal with the slim pickings in the suburbs. Don't know what to tell ya lol.

 

[bigdave17]

Then you just have to deal with the slim pickings in the suburbs. Don't know what to tell ya lol.

you guys think it's so easy. I already work 55 hours a week. You add 1 hour commute to that and I'm working 65 hours a week


and no I can't work less, you can't make 140-180K a year at a very young age like me if you're not working 45-60 hours a week

 

[PokerStar]

see if you can get into any social classes. cooking class i think would be a great place to start. talking to people is a little easier, easier than approaching at the gym. you have to build confidence in yourself. after that cold approaching will feel like water, free flowing and free!

 

[sph21]

Are you a fun person to be with? If you are not one, then it might be the reason why you're having a hard time getting a girlfriend.

What women want from a man:

• A confident man
• Unshakable character
• Fun
• Not desperate
• Ambitious
• Mysterious
• A challenge
• A masculine man (a leader)

It's not easy to be that man. Money & looks are important but they're not what they want the most from a man.

These are somethings that will guarantee her to next you:

• Being too desperate. A desperate guy sees as being in a relationship with a girl will make his life complete. A desperate guy is someone who has no life because his life is her life.
• Being too nice in a weak way. Being nice to a woman is not always a turn off for her. With the right kind of attitude, you can be a great guy in her eyes
• Doesn't want to stand up for himself. A man who doesn't know/ want to stand up for his own dignity is a weak man. No woman wants a weak man as her leader unless she's too desperate to get a mate.
• Someone who is clueless about gender roles. Women naturally want to take the feminine role instead of the masculine one. If you don't want to lead her (by being masculine) the she will lead the relationship. No good thing can end from that.
• Not being authentic. This includes trying too hard to impress her. A man who is secure with himself, doesn't need to impress anyone for his own accomplishments. Women test men because most men aren't authentic
• Not making any move to make her see that you want to be more than just a friend. Nice guys always want to be any woman's friend. Thinking that being her friend first is the best way to make her see your great personality is the lamest way to attract her. Once she sees you as a friend, she will always honor your position as a friend.
• Still can't accept her sexuality or your own sexuality. Accepting her and your own sexuality are thoroughly explained in DJ Bible.

Which ones from that list do you still have in you?

You want a high quality girl but you never even dated any girl. Come on man. Your expectation is too high.

A high quality girl has so many options. If you don't know how to stand out from her crowd, then your chance is very slim.

You need to work your way up. Start building confidence by dating from the low quality girls to build your experience with women.

I'm asking you to take risks by failing and then learning from your experiences with low quality women. There is no other way around. By dating these HB 5 or 6, you will learn more about yourself and what you can do to improve yourself. Only through bettering yourself, you will deserve to be with the HB 8+. You do not get in life what you desire; you only get what you deserve.

 

[byers90]

The reason is because you are screwed up inside/have bad "inner game" as they say on here. If what you say is true, professionally you got everything going for you and have done more than the majority ever well (very few people will sniff at 100k at year, nevermind at such a young age). Based on that alone you should literally be having no problems although as you've come to find out it's not everything. You need to fix whatever internal hangups - once you do that you'll be unstoppable i'm sure.

 

[bigdave17]

I keep saying this, I really am not looking for a 9 or a 10/10 HBB

a cute, sweet, low maintenance 6 or 7/10 would be perfect as long as everything else is aligned well

the problem is I can't even get a 6 or a 7 with everything aligned (as in my age or a little younger, no kids, decent job, decent with finances, etc...)

 

[J Roc]

I keep saying this, I really am not looking for a 9 or a 10/10 HBB

a cute, sweet, low maintenance 6 or 7/10 would be perfect as long as everything else is aligned well

the problem is I can't even get a 6 or a 7 with everything aligned (as in my age or a little younger, no kids, decent job, decent with finances, etc...)

You havent even gone through your player stage and you are already thinking long term relationship.You need to run through some hot girls first and get some game before you start thinking long term.