The death stare

[AttackFormation]

So I hit this cashier up a month ago, left her a note saying bla bla and to send a hi to my # if she wanted to. She does, two days later. Exchange some sentences but then she stops responding. I see her again a couple more times irl and she lit up like a christmas tree the first time, the second time two days later I suggest we have coffee at this place. When I try to set it up after that she didn't respond again. I move on, just being glad for and seeing it as a plus that I have the balls to take these risks instead of living life like a mouse. So now I stop going to the checkouts where she tends to be, instead just taking the ones slightly closer to the exit that I'm gonna leave through anyway.

But yesterday I went to the store again. Took the slightly more convenient checkouts as usual now, and while I was waiting for the payment to process I start looking ahead to the next checkouts instead of down. I see her sitting in her checkout and she's already looking at me before I look at her.

She's looking right at me - or as I felt then, into me - with the most directed, death-cold stare I think I've ever experienced. I automatically started smirking/smiling but her expression didn't change. Now, before this, I haven't asked her out more than once or tried to talk to her more than twice, which was weeks ago. And since then I haven't even glanced at her. I would understand if she merely quickly beheld me while sitting idly as "oh, that guy" with a blank look to her face, but the look here felt clearly intentional, penetrative and ice cold even when I started smirking. I wasn't going to post about it having moved on but I've never experienced anything like it. Why would she do that? is she jealous or upset that she lost the attention or something?

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

She's just letting you know that she's not interested. Some females go overboard with this ****, but it aint no biggie, just keep ignoring her.

 

[AttackFormation]

She's just letting you know that she's not interested. Some females go overboard with this ****, but it aint no biggie, just keep ignoring her.

Yeah this sh!t was overboard as hell. A disinterested girl would ignore you or at the most accidentally glance quickly and then look away, right? I've never experienced a girl staring with this kind of intent before, like she had some kind of unspoken business with me. But I haven't even done anything with or to her and I don't think I'm so ugly that being hit on by me is an insult . Has this happened to you?

 

[RichardTheFrog]

At least you invoked a strong emotional reaction. I've heard girls say they can go from hating to liking someone easily. I doubt you would care to spend the time to find out if that's possible with her. The only question is how physically attractive does she find you? From what you've said, you only talked to her for mere minutes. How well could she even know you to form such a strong opinion of you at all?

 

[Mike32ct]

Some women take this stuff WAY too personally. You genuinely tried to set something up, and when it was clear that she wasn’t interested, you backed off. Ok fine.

Notwithstanding, (and I know hindsight is 20/20), maybe you should have dropped her after she stopped responding the first time.

In 2017, a one strike rule is probably best. I’m not sure that women like “persistence” anymore, if they EVER did lol.

I’m not taking her side btw. You didn’t deserve the evil stare.

 

[AttackFormation]

Who cares? Next.
Also, handing out notes to women is very childish. If you feel yourself having to do that, stop and ask why that is. Perhaps it just shouldn't be done at all, if taking the number feels so uncomfortable.

I just found her reaction interesting. Don't see why I shouldn't find it so just because it relates to a woman.

I'd rather give her the note and wink at her to handle it smoothly than stop her in the middle of absent-mindedly scanning customers' items in a busy store to ask for her # on the spot. If that's childish, put me in kindergarten. This BS is just like the guys on this forum who insist you call and not text women.

How well could she even know you to form such a strong opinion of you at all?

Only thing I can think of is that the visible attention withdrawal stings a bit, subconsciously. She probably didn't even think about the look she was giving, it was a subconscious expression.

 

[resilient]

Ah, the classic cold smoldering look.

Maybe, you're actually doing something right.

 

[icantgetlaid]

I made the mistake of approaching a girl from my work ... we went on a date, and we didn't really hit it off. All i got was weird cold stares afterwards as well and it was awkward as hell anytime i ran into her at the office.

I agree with the poster that said that this is their way of telling you they are not interested.

 

[resilient]

It's not just women doing this to you. You can do the cold stare to former plates or women you're not interested too sometimes subconsciously.

I think, we, as DJs, should be warm and short, not burn bridges with low-interest level plates or the ones that didn't quite get lifted into plate spinning status. Sometimes it's hard not to let our ego show how we want to feel. Think poker face or IDGAF attitude.

Example:
After a second date with a girl earlier this summer, I got turned off by some of the things she said or behaved after the date, so I stopped pursuing. I.e. acting entitled or like she had a million options. She thought she was a 9 and in my mind was clearly not. Anyway, I didn't wait for a rejection or a hard no, I soft next her then eventually went ghost. I see her time to time because she's in one of my social circles. We don't have the fun vibe we did when we first met at the start of summer when there was an attraction. Now, we sort of avoid each other with awkward interactions.

Final word: Like @TheGambino said in another thread. Don't chase, replace. Also true, don't spend another ounce of headspace like @deesade said.

Dwelling too much on spilled milk effects your vibe as a DJ.

Move on to the next set and ultimately, next plate option.

 

[cola]

May I coin a new acronym?
SCAJC.(Some Chicks Are Just Crazy)
Or if a guy
SDAJC(Some Dudes Are Just Crazy)

Some chicks are just crazy.
There is no logical explanation to their behavior you just have to accept that some people are just nuts..

Its how I get through my day..

Dude honking at me in traffic to go faster even though its clearly a car in front of me?
SDAJC.

I say good morning to a chick for no reason other than to be polite and she looks at me like a piece of doody.. Oh well.
SCAJC.

Not my problem, won't let It effect my cheery, peaceful mood.

Apply it.