Split up with gf

[Murk]

So me and my gf of 5/6 months decided to end things last Sunday due to constant arguing and both not being very happy.

I go NC for the week and get a text/call Friday asking me to come over. It was 10pm I was in bed after a long work week and really just wanted to chill so I said no, she got angry and hung up.

She text me Saturday (yesterday) asking if I wanted to come over later, I said yeah... ended up at my aunts house (preplanned) and tell her I will be at hers at 9ish and she flips out that I don’t respect her or her time and that I should have kept her updated and how she’s not gonna sit at home waiting for me (zzzz) I lie and tell her I’m going out drinking with friends she’s never met.

Today Sunday and I go to her house, we have sex, kissing cuddling etc but still agreeing that this is it. She goes to the toilet and low and behold... her phone is unlocked. Now in all the time I’ve been seeing her this has never happened so I do the right thing and quickly head for messages and Whatspp keeping an ear open for footsteps.

There’s no other dudes in there except one guy she messaged on the Wednesday saying hi it’s X from last night. They have boring back and forth over the Wednesday and Thursday and he’s invited her out for a burger to which she says yes. She creeps back up the stairs I shut the phone and act normal.

Now obv we are broken up but she’s gone out on the Tuesday night met some dude and texting him and arranging dates before my bed is cold, and telling me she has had an uneventful week with no drinking, *****, can’t help but admire her game though.

Anyway my question is can I under any circumstances bring up what I’ve seen? I plan to go NC again starting when I head to work from her house tomorrow but I know she will reach out and we will bang at some point. She did ask me today if I’ve slept with anyone and if she needs to use a condom which I found weird. I have that Australian girl I’m gonna ask on a date either Monday or Tuesday night but I have no other plates so determined to progress with her. Have another girl I met on POF who wants to go out next Saturday too so I’m certainly not waiting for this girl to take me back (few more sex sessions would be nice though). This post is more a vent/current situation update and I’d like some thoughts?

 

[sazc]

No, don't say anything to her. Why would you? So you can start a lot of drama? Your broken up. If you can't causally FWB her then tell her you need space and go total NC until you feel strong enough not to get sucked back in.

BTW, in case you were wondering, you can't causally FWB her, this thread proves it.

Don't start drama, just move on silently

 

[Murk]

I know, the answers I need I already knew. Gonna bang one for the road in the morning and NC.

 

[El Payaso]

No, don't tell her anything. Just move on. Sounds like she's just keeping you on the side until she can fully branch swing.

 

[Glassguy]

As soon as the one for the road is over, tell her that you're not coming back over. Tell her that since shes been "seen" out dating already, you need to move in a different direction as well. Wink and smack her rear end and head out the door.

She will get the point and have no idea who could have saw her out with her new dude. It won't come back to the phone episode. Just don't answer any of her questions. Just walk.

I went through this with an ex that wanted to get back together. She had been sending pics back and forth to her former fwb. I woke up the next morning, fvcked her silly and then acted like a buddy of mine texted me to tell me my ex had for sure been talking to the guy (bravo for mutual friends). What really happend was after she fell asleep the night before he sent her a pic and it came up on the home screen of her phone. So I had to investigate. Boy did she start back peddling. The look on her face was priceless. I just smiled and left. She called me over and over on my way home to "explain".

Oh.....and this girl of yours has probably been talking to other dudes the entire time you've been together. Thus the fights and arguments. She's a poor player or monkey brancher. Run don't walk.

"There will be an answer, let it be"

 

[marmel75]

I don't understand the lame sh!t dudes do...

 

[Murk]

As soon as the one for the road is over, tell her that you're not coming back over. Tell her that since shes been "seen" out dating already, you need to move in a different direction as well. Wink and smack her rear end and head out the door.

She will get the point and have no idea who could have saw her out with her new dude. It won't come back to the phone episode. Just don't answer any of her questions. Just walk.

I went through this with an ex that wanted to get back together. She had been sending pics back and forth to her former fwb. I woke up the next morning, fvcked her silly and then acted like a buddy of mine texted me to tell me my ex had for sure been talking to the guy (bravo for mutual friends). What really happend was after she fell asleep the night before he sent her a pic and it came up on the home screen of her phone. So I had to investigate. Boy did she start back peddling. The look on her face was priceless. I just smiled and left. She called me over and over on my way home to "explain".

Oh.....and this girl of yours has probably been talking to other dudes the entire time you've been together. Thus the fights and arguments. She's a poor player or monkey brancher. Run don't walk.

"There will be an answer, let it be"

No this guy she was messaging she had met out on the Tuesday as she messaged him on Wednesday saying his its X and he replied with "this was my train journey home [insert video clip]" so it wasn't a date I'm guessing she went out with her girls.

I gave her one for the road this morning, she asked for a cuddle for 5 mins but I said I needed to take a shower and get to work, she was crying, it was quite emotional and weird never had a break up like that before. I took a quick look on her phone while she was out of the room, typical of the the creepy stalker I've become, and saw she had joined some OLD app Bumble on Wednesday and had some matches on Saturday.

I'm arranging a date with the australian, and I've also reached out to my ex at the weekend who wants to go for dinner. I also reached out to a plate I was spinning 2 months ago for a drink. A beautician from plenty of fish wants me to meet her on Saturday too but I think I've swerve it.

Is the best course of action to just hit up multiple girls? It's weird because I'm happy to let this girl go (and was planning to) but it kinda hurts she is willing to let me go to if that makes sense, I wanted it all on my terms but I guess in life that's a selfish and naive outlook to have.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

In my more naive days, I'd go through girls' apps and sh!t to find out what they're up to. Once you get to a stage where you don't even consider doing this kind of stuff anymore, you know you're starting to have the right attitude with women.

Here's my take. She got lonely, as women invariably need the emotional support of attention than men do. She desperately grabbed some guy's number during the week, text him first, immediately agreed to go on some lame 'burger date' (wtf??), after which he clearly wasn't interested; hence she back-peddles and messages you, then gets sh!tty when you don't seem that bothered either.

Five or six months isn't that long. It's a good screening period. You've basically worked out that she's only of mediocre quality. No real harm done. I'd just move on. This kind of sh!tty needy behaviour from a girl is really unattractive to me.

Unless you're 'exclusive' with a girl, you should assume she's in contact with other guys, and basically should not have a problem with it. Even when you are exclusive, you can't do lame sh!t like going through her phone, rather you need to pay close attention to how she behaves with other men (in person) and treats you; i.e. if she pays a lot of personal attention to other men, she probably does in general.

 

[Murk]

In my more naive days, I'd go through girls' apps and sh!t to find out what they're up to. Once you get to a stage where you don't even consider doing this kind of stuff anymore, you know you're starting to have the right attitude with women.

Here's my take. She got lonely, as women invariably need the emotional support of attention than men do. She desperately grabbed some guy's number during the week, text him first, immediately agreed to go on some lame 'burger date' (wtf??), after which he clearly wasn't interested; hence she back-peddles and messages you, then gets sh!tty when you don't seem that bothered either.

Five or six months isn't that long. It's a good screening period. You've basically worked out that she's only of mediocre quality. No real harm done. I'd just move on. This kind of sh!tty needy behaviour from a girl is really unattractive to me.

Unless you're 'exclusive' with a girl, you should assume she's in contact with other guys, and basically should not have a problem with it. Even when you are exclusive, you can't do lame sh!t like going through her phone, rather you need to pay close attention to how she behaves with other men (in person) and treats you; i.e. if she pays a lot of personal attention to other men, she probably does in general.

That's my take on it too bro.

To be fair during the time we were together she showed me lots of attention and affection and didn't give me any reason to suspect anything, I looked through her phone opportunistically yesterday and had no reason to do it before.

The relationship was doomed 2 months in when she caught me texting a girl suggestively - we broke up then got back together but she had resentment there and it was a spiky relationship from then on. I've also cheated on her 3 times with 2 different women (not proud of this) and even contracted an STD which I took pills for - blamed on a NSU (non specific urinatory infection), bought a pill online and made her take it (again, not proud) to cover my back.

Basically I've been chit and we were arguing and she'd had enough, we both had and I saw this coming hence me lining up backups. I've learned not to waste time in dead end relationships, I feel like the past 5/6 months have been a waste.

A good thing is I have arranged a date for tomorrow with the Australian and she's invited me out this Saturday for her bday, still feel a bit down though.

Edit: she just whatsapped me ““ I’m gonna archive and not open it. Done.

 

[Murk]

Its 5:43 am just kicked a blondie out the door but i ****ed up massively tonight!

Messaged the ex saying "hows the tinder hunt going" she replies with:

"Don't be ridiculous DeepTech. Just cause you need someone to "fill the void" doesn't mean I do"

I ignore this then 1.5 hours later she goes:

"Don't know what the ****ing point of that snide text was. Just leave me alone please"

Me, being drunk and an absolute ****HEAD then send her a voicenote with this chick in the background shouting about bumble loool honestly it was like something out of a sitcom.

Anyway she lied and said that she never deleted her bumble account and that people had told her she was still showing up too. This is a blatant lie, I saw the fcking notifications on her phone but I'm yet to pull the trigger and expose her for the liar she is. She said that I obviously downloaded it last week so I'm the hypocrite, honestly she needs a stern uppercut to the solar plexus, how women have the audacity to do this **** astounds me.

I know what you're thinking, this guy needs to move on and leave this **** for the birds. I do, but easier said than done. I'm going on a date after work today and hopefully get my D wet and on to pastures new but I can't get this 6.5 out of my head. The sex was incredible we were so sexually compatible but the relationship offered little else.

 

[GT40]

Use her as a Plate. FWB only her and that’s all
Stop the bickering via text man. It’s lame and childish.

 

[Masculinity]

So me and my gf of 5/6 months decided to end things last Sunday due to constant arguing and both not being very happy.

I go NC for the week and get a text/call Friday asking me to come over. It was 10pm I was in bed after a long work week and really just wanted to chill so I said no, she got angry and hung up.

She text me Saturday (yesterday) asking if I wanted to come over later, I said yeah... ended up at my aunts house (preplanned) and tell her I will be at hers at 9ish and she flips out that I don’t respect her or her time and that I should have kept her updated and how she’s not gonna sit at home waiting for me (zzzz) I lie and tell her I’m going out drinking with friends she’s never met.

Today Sunday and I go to her house, we have sex, kissing cuddling etc but still agreeing that this is it. She goes to the toilet and low and behold... her phone is unlocked. Now in all the time I’ve been seeing her this has never happened so I do the right thing and quickly head for messages and Whatspp keeping an ear open for footsteps.

There’s no other dudes in there except one guy she messaged on the Wednesday saying hi it’s X from last night. They have boring back and forth over the Wednesday and Thursday and he’s invited her out for a burger to which she says yes. She creeps back up the stairs I shut the phone and act normal.

Now obv we are broken up but she’s gone out on the Tuesday night met some dude and texting him and arranging dates before my bed is cold, and telling me she has had an uneventful week with no drinking, *****, can’t help but admire her game though.

Anyway my question is can I under any circumstances bring up what I’ve seen? I plan to go NC again starting when I head to work from her house tomorrow but I know she will reach out and we will bang at some point. She did ask me today if I’ve slept with anyone and if she needs to use a condom which I found weird. I have that Australian girl I’m gonna ask on a date either Monday or Tuesday night but I have no other plates so determined to progress with her. Have another girl I met on POF who wants to go out next Saturday too so I’m certainly not waiting for this girl to take me back (few more sex sessions would be nice though). This post is more a vent/current situation update and I’d like some thoughts?

Congratulations. You're now on your way to meet younger, better women.

 

[marmel75]

Its 5:43 am just kicked a blondie out the door but i ****ed up massively tonight!

Messaged the ex saying "hows the tinder hunt going" she replies with:

"Don't be ridiculous DeepTech. Just cause you need someone to "fill the void" doesn't mean I do"

I ignore this then 1.5 hours later she goes:

"Don't know what the ****ing point of that snide text was. Just leave me alone please"

Me, being drunk and an absolute ****HEAD then send her a voicenote with this chick in the background shouting about bumble loool honestly it was like something out of a sitcom.

Anyway she lied and said that she never deleted her bumble account and that people had told her she was still showing up too. This is a blatant lie, I saw the fcking notifications on her phone but I'm yet to pull the trigger and expose her for the liar she is. She said that I obviously downloaded it last week so I'm the hypocrite, honestly she needs a stern uppercut to the solar plexus, how women have the audacity to do this **** astounds me.

I know what you're thinking, this guy needs to move on and leave this **** for the birds. I do, but easier said than done. I'm going on a date after work today and hopefully get my D wet and on to pastures new but I can't get this 6.5 out of my head. The sex was incredible we were so sexually compatible but the relationship offered little else.

1) Stop doing lame bullsh!t like this checking her phone---I don't care what the reason was it's fvcking lame as fvck. That is little boy sh!t. Your goal should be to act like a man at all times.
2) Stop worrying about what some chick you broke up with thinks
3) If you want to keep her around as a FWB then do so, but make sure you realize that is all she is.

 

[Murk]

I can’t plate or fwb her, she said she can’t see me casually when she loves me. I think if we don’t speak, there’s room down the line for that.

We are just so compatible sexually I can’t seem to leave her alone but I will stop this lame **** and be a man. Having options doesn’t seem to be making this easier, but maybe I’d be feeling a whole lot worse if I didn’t.