Current Plate Pushing For A Relationship?

[soulforge]

So this chick I have been seeing now for only 2 months, is now starting the whole, can we be BF and GF talk

I'm not sure if I should get serious with this girl, not because she is not a good person, but because I feel like I may be settling.

I think I can do better than her looks wise, also career success wise.


This is how I rate this chick..

Looks wise I only give her 6/10 (so not great looks) but she has a fantastic slim body, and in very good shape.

The sex with her is great & she will do pretty much anything I want her to do.

So far she has shown zero signs of attitude, no disrespect, no chit tests, no flaking, and she likes me to lead.

Overall she seems like a good woman.

However, there are a few things that are bothering me.

01. She broke up with her long term ex, only 5 months ago.. He left her for another chick and got her pregnant

02. It's a little long distance, about 50 mins away, but I am ok with that for now, because I have interest in other chicks, so wouldn't want her
around me all of the time.

03. The girl does not have a good career, she works part time, and financially she is not in a great place.

It's a tough one because, she seems like a nice girl, where as I could meet hotter and more successful woman than her, and they could be complete
CU@TS like my ex was.

My ex was very good looking, and had a very good career, but somewhat a chitty person. Maybe I am comparing her a little, which is not fair on her.

 

[Mr. Focus]

A 6/10? Eh bro, not worth it. Keep spinning her until she drops, then oh well. You'll get more.

 

[marmel75]

Keep her until you get something better...you know the drill

 

[soulforge]

Keep her until you get something better...you know the drill

I may have to give her the illusion of a relationship.. I'm not really feeling it for her long term.. And no not falling for her either..

the sex is good, and she is minimum trouble, just hate it when chicks get so serious so soon..

will have to keep spinning!

 

[Glassguy]

Monkey branch her!

 

[FwoGiZ]

"I like where this relationship is for 2 months in, and am looking forward the future with you"
Just say that and try and change subject.
I wouldn't promise anything...

 

[AJ84]

I may have to give her the illusion of a relationship.. I'm not really feeling it for her long term.. And no not falling for her either..

the sex is good, and she is minimum trouble, just hate it when chicks get so serious so soon..

will have to keep spinning!

Just be honest and say you aren't sure. Because you aren't sure. Sometimes that motivates women to step it up. If you let her know in a subtle way what is holding you back from being in a relationship with her she may try to improve those things if she really wants to be with you. If she doesn't then no loss for you as you have other options. You don't really owe her anything at this point, but giving the illusion of a relationship is kind of deceptive and if you have options why be deceptive? Guys are the gate keepers of relationships so you can manage this in an upfront way without having to mislead her and waste your time and hers.

 

[sazc]

Monkey branch her!

Monkey brancher!

 

[amaterasu]

I may have to give her the illusion of a relationship.. I'm not really feeling it for her long term.. And no not falling for her either..

the sex is good, and she is minimum trouble, just hate it when chicks get so serious so soon..

will have to keep spinning!

Be careful, you might not realize it but you're falling for her.

You're still human btw.

The human heart is greater than the physicalities of a person.

 

[marmel75]

Be careful, you might not realize it but you're falling for her.

You're still human btw.

The human heart is greater than the physicalities of a person.

Please...save that beta Disney sh!t for another board.

 

[El Payaso]

No. Keep it at FWB status.

 

[amaterasu]

Please...save that beta Disney sh!t for another board.

Unless you're a beta, you'll not take this one seriously.

 

[Macaframalama]

I may have to give her the illusion of a relationship.

I'm with AJ84. Deception is weak and you will only end up playing yourself in the end. Like you said, it's only been two months. If she can't respect that, then count yourself lucky, because she'll be talking marriage and babies in another 6.

 

[ubercat]

Agree. Minimum 7 for the LTR. Otherwise u ll just get resentful and take it out on her

 

[soulforge]

Dodge the topic for as long as you possibly can giving ambiguous answers.

Doesn't matter if the dodging gets to absurd levels. And it can get really silly. Embrace the daftness.

It's like a wrestling match. Don't let her mentally pin you down. Wriggle out of that sh*t.

First some white-noise for white-knights and women:

There. A distraction irressistable.

Every relationship is essentially playing for time. Women's biological clock doesn't tick, so much as it clangs.

"Wasting your time". What man would ever say this? It's not how we think. You're getting laid and having fun. People aren't prioritising your interests, they are thinking of hers - which are that you can be filtered quickly for provisioning.

Your interests are prolonging things without a commitment. Which means slowing down her relationship escalation as much as possible.

Two months is very normal, i've found, for a woman to start pressuring to be exclusive. I'm not even suggesting to accept and then cheat. But at least put up a fight

Practice dodging it. Don't get forced into defining the relationship. And just refuse to have "the talk."

A lot of women seriously won't press it further. The ones that do with any great force are masculine confrontational types, who you are better off rid of anyway. Not ltr material.

Now is the time to date another girl, if you've been too relaxed.[/QUOTE]


Sound advice man.. 2 months in for me, is nothing.. Wouldn't even consider a LTR

Dodging the conversation is the best option, if she pushes too hard, and does not like my stance, then she can walk..

 

[RangerMIke]

I may have to give her the illusion of a relationship..

I know it's tempting but my advice is to be up front and honest. I lost a good a few months ago when I wouldn't agree to a relationship. Now she's coming around again. If they like you they will want to be around you.... you just become her plate and that's fine with me. I just do not have the emotional energy to try and keep secrets from chicks, it's almost impossible to keep anything from them anyway.

 

[Mr Wright]

I'm going through something really similar. The girl tried to pull a fast one and asked if we were exclusive just as I was about to put it in. I fell for that when I was 18, I'm 25 now and I just told her not to ruin the moment. She never brought it back up again. I've gotten pretty good at ice skating around the issue of commitment, you can frame it that you want this to be serious and you don't rush into things and that but eventually she's going to call time on it...or go crazy. But at the end of the day, stick to your guns, go at your own pace and do what you want to do.

What stands out most for me is that you think you are settling. Don't be that guy. You get lazy now, you deserve everything you get in the future relating to it. Stick to your standards.

 

[AJ84]

I'm going through something really similar. The girl tried to pull a fast one and asked if we were exclusive just as I was about to put it in. I fell for that when I was 18, I'm 25 now and I just told her not to ruin the moment. She never brought it back up again. I've gotten pretty good at ice skating around the issue of commitment, you can frame it that you want this to be serious and you don't rush into things and that but eventually she's going to call time on it...or go crazy. But at the end of the day, stick to your guns, go at your own pace and do what you want to do.

What stands out most for me is that you think you are settling. Don't be that guy. You get lazy now, you deserve everything you get in the future relating to it. Stick to your standards.

Omg her timing hahahahaha. That is hilarious. I like how you handled that. You basically were upfront and she didn't bring it up again that's brilliant.

 

[AJ84]

I know it's tempting but my advice is to be up front and honest. I lost a good a few months ago when I wouldn't agree to a relationship. Now she's coming around again. If they like you they will want to be around you.... you just become her plate and that's fine with me. I just do not have the emotional energy to try and keep secrets from chicks, it's almost impossible to keep anything from them anyway.

Being honest may also lead to fewer sh*t tests down the road.

When in doubt, we start sh*t testing and things are no longer fun for the guy or the girl. Letting her know where she stands just saves time and headache of having to hide crap or constantly avoid her questions around where the relationship is or isn't going.

If it's just a plate or someone you are dating with no known intention then you don't own them anything at that point. Being deceptive kind of implies that you feel you do owe them something, that warrants hiding your intentions. Women pick up on that and it can lead to dealing with bs you don't want to deal with.

 

[exhausted]

Being honest may also lead to fewer sh*t tests down the road.

When in doubt, we start sh*t testing and things are no longer fun for the guy or the girl. Letting her know where she stands just saves time and headache of having to hide crap or constantly avoid her questions around where the relationship is or isn't going.

If it's just a plate or someone you are dating with no known intention then you don't own them anything at that point. Being deceptive kind of implies that you feel you do owe them something, that warrants hiding your intentions. Women pick up on that and it can lead to dealing with bs you don't want to deal with.

How about a gf of a few years who wants to take the next step but won't get her chit together to make the next step yet is mad at the guy?.
Like get her finances in order to where she can offer more than 300 a month for a home and board.
I tried to talk to her about it and she just shut down, yet shamed me for not selling my home to buy another with her.
Is that spoiled brat syndrome?.