Controlling plate causing irritation

QuadDeuces

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2012
Messages
651
Reaction score
436
Location
Amsterdam, Netherlands
I'm currently honeymooning with hb 8, triathlete, hardbody, phd, uni professor. Fvcks like a pornstar, cooks like michelin chef, cleans like a forensic team at a crime scene.

This girl is something, I've never met anyone with such insane demands and willpower and ambition to succeed. She climbs mountains, runs marathons, can't sit still for tv for 1 second, she leads scientific studies, publishes in scientific journals, gets referenced all over the internet. Stays up til 5am to prepare for uni lectures and seminars.

But it's turning out her demands for me are sky high too.
The way I hold my fork is wrong when I eat, the way I tie my shoes is wrong, she goes crazy when I walk barefoot in the house because my feet can attract bacteria from floor, the toilet seat is not positioned right, when I'm reading something my head is tilted in a wrong angle, I slam the car door too loud. The list goes on and on.
But she is very giving, has bought me multiple expensive gifts, and really makes an effort to dress up to be with me and is very interested and welcoming to my family and friends. She has an expensive condo beachfront on the southern Spanish coast, she invited me to move in with her there.

But this girl controlling behaviour and perfectionism is driving me crazy. Do you guys there is a way to reframe this?
 

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
3,637
Reaction score
2,638
If you think it's bad now, wait until she becomes your wife. She's shown you who she really is. Don't bother trying to stick around. Just eject and save yourself the trouble.
 

Casillas

Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2015
Messages
73
Reaction score
24
Like my fella sosouage said you're in front of a high value woman, and in my opinion you have two options:

1. If you feel that she is controlling you in all the aspects of your life and you don't feel comfortable with that, just talk to her and find the way to fix the things. Don't throw away all the progress with her just for a common behavior in women. Remember women always want someone good for they in all the aspects. So show her the best version of you.

2. If you already tried number one and see no change in her behavior and it still annoys you, move on. Trust me you will find someone good for your mental health, the secret of a good relationship is that both parts work at the same level, if she intimidate you or you don't feel comfortable anymore this is not for you bro.

Good luck!
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,575
Reaction score
8,418
A person can only control you if you let them! I don't see anything wrong with this chic, sounds like she has her schitt together. As long as she is fun to be with then don't get hung up on the little irritations that don't matter anyways.
 

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
1,775
Reaction score
3,511
Location
Mile High City, USA
I'm currently honeymooning with hb 8, triathlete, hardbody, phd, uni professor. Fvcks like a pornstar, cooks like michelin chef, cleans like a forensic team at a crime scene.

This girl is something, I've never met anyone with such insane demands and willpower and ambition to succeed. She climbs mountains, runs marathons, can't sit still for tv for 1 second, she leads scientific studies, publishes in scientific journals, gets referenced all over the internet. Stays up til 5am to prepare for uni lectures and seminars.

But it's turning out her demands for me are sky high too.
The way I hold my fork is wrong when I eat, the way I tie my shoes is wrong, she goes crazy when I walk barefoot in the house because my feet can attract bacteria from floor, the toilet seat is not positioned right, when I'm reading something my head is tilted in a wrong angle, I slam the car door too loud. The list goes on and on.
But she is very giving, has bought me multiple expensive gifts, and really makes an effort to dress up to be with me and is very interested and welcoming to my family and friends. She has an expensive condo beachfront on the southern Spanish coast, she invited me to move in with her there.

But this girl controlling behaviour and perfectionism is driving me crazy. Do you guys there is a way to reframe this?
QUESTION: Do you like feminine women? Because this one is not. SHe's a man trapped in a woman's body but was blessed with good looks. I call this phenomenon "Plastic Balls Syndrome" -- women who act like and want to be men. Many female business owners and executives are like this.

I had a gf like this for a while. It was emasculating to listen to her constantly try to "correct" and "fix" me. It really affected our sex life as I lost attraction for her even though she looked like a Croatian super model.

Finally, I had to end it. These women only work well for very beta or omega men who need a mommy to tell them what to do.
 

wifehunter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Messages
5,192
Reaction score
3,319
Age
50
Location
Hoe County, California
QUESTION: Do you like feminine women? Because this one is not. SHe's a man trapped in a woman's body but was blessed with good looks. I call this phenomenon "Plastic Balls Syndrome" -- women who act like and want to be men. Many female business owners and executives are like this.

I had a gf like this for a while. It was emasculating to listen to her constantly try to "correct" and "fix" me. It really affected our sex life as I lost attraction for her even though she looked like a Croatian super model.

Finally, I had to end it. These women only work well for very beta or omega men who need a mommy to tell them what to do.
This describes 90% of women, where I'm at. If I wanted a man, I'd be gay.

Disgusting.
 

TheMonkeyKing

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 20, 2014
Messages
2,337
Reaction score
1,427
Sounds a lot like an ex of mine: professional model, multiple business owner, speaks like 6 languages, penthouse apartment, born from old money etc etc. I can't tell you the whole story because I'd be here all day, but it started out not dissimilar to yours. Alas it didn't end well for me.

The points about perfectionism and domination are correct. Just remember, no matter how much they try and portray themselves to be, nobody is perfect. My ex had pretty deep seated childhood parental issues, which developed in to these very controlling tendencies. As Dash said above, these types of birds don't need a man, they need a boy that they can keep and train as a pet. I truly believe that certain people like this can't be changed. They are this way for good.

You could try and test her a bit. Try a bit of domination and criticism of your own, see how it goes down. She might even like it. My problem was that I was too soft, and didn't stand up for myself like this. Maybe you can make it work.

Plus, tell her to chill the fck out a bit. That hyperactivity and insomnia is a hallmark of something psychological going on as well; like if she stays still for too long, her deep thoughts will catch up with her. Another ex would tell me that she would hardly sleep at night unless I was there. Turns out she was abused by family members during the night as a child. Fck, it does my head in when they can't just relax and sit still for a couple of hours.

Would be interesting to know this girl's family background.
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,812
Reaction score
4,137
This girl could be a lost cause or, maybe with a little work, the highest quality girl you will ever get. Only you know.

It´s been ages since I was able to pull a high quality girl so If I were you I would try to "fix" my issues with her before giving up. MonkeyKing is giving great advice.
 

Roober

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2016
Messages
2,383
Reaction score
2,123
Sounds a lot like an ex of mine: professional model, multiple business owner, speaks like 6 languages, penthouse apartment, born from old money etc etc. I can't tell you the whole story because I'd be here all day, but it started out not dissimilar to yours. Alas it didn't end well for me.

The points about perfectionism and domination are correct. Just remember, no matter how much they try and portray themselves to be, nobody is perfect. My ex had pretty deep seated childhood parental issues, which developed in to these very controlling tendencies. As Dash said above, these types of birds don't need a man, they need a boy that they can keep and train as a pet. I truly believe that certain people like this can't be changed. They are this way for good.

You could try and test her a bit. Try a bit of domination and criticism of your own, see how it goes down. She might even like it. My problem was that I was too soft, and didn't stand up for myself like this. Maybe you can make it work.

Plus, tell her to chill the fck out a bit. That hyperactivity and insomnia is a hallmark of something psychological going on as well; like if she stays still for too long, her deep thoughts will catch up with her. Another ex would tell me that she would hardly sleep at night unless I was there. Turns out she was abused by family members during the night as a child. Fck, it does my head in when they can't just relax and sit still for a couple of hours.

Would be interesting to know this girl's family background.
Very similar to my exwife, but not to the extreme you guys experienced. The key is pushing back. Either she will submit, or you will leave her. Either way, it's her loss...


Her: "you don't hold your fork right"
You: *flip fork around and eat with the back of it* "Your right, this is much better" =D
 

That_dude

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2017
Messages
171
Reaction score
71
Age
37
Control freak, personally I can't deal with it. Some people can. My guess is you wouldn't make a thread about it if you could.
Me either amen. I can't deal with controlling people in general. I usually kick people like this out of my life very quickly.

Think it's bad now.. Once he puts a ring on it o_O:D
 
Last edited:

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,069
Reaction score
4,918
Age
33
Location
Eye of the storm
But this girl controlling behaviour and perfectionism is driving me crazy. Do you guys there is a way to reframe this?
The short answer is no. If you want her you must keep up with her and thrive with that kind of lifestyle. If you can't then eventually she'll see you as an anchor dragging behind her and break up. I would probably just have ended the relationship, I wouldn't take heaps of criticism or stress myself to avoid it either. Either way it's going towards that binary choice where either she bends or she goes.

I mean, sometimes people are just too different to function together and this seems like a case of that.
 

Masculinity

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2009
Messages
1,911
Reaction score
544
Age
35
I'm currently honeymooning with hb 8, triathlete, hardbody, phd, uni professor. Fvcks like a pornstar, cooks like michelin chef, cleans like a forensic team at a crime scene.

This girl is something, I've never met anyone with such insane demands and willpower and ambition to succeed. She climbs mountains, runs marathons, can't sit still for tv for 1 second, she leads scientific studies, publishes in scientific journals, gets referenced all over the internet. Stays up til 5am to prepare for uni lectures and seminars.

But it's turning out her demands for me are sky high too.
The way I hold my fork is wrong when I eat, the way I tie my shoes is wrong, she goes crazy when I walk barefoot in the house because my feet can attract bacteria from floor, the toilet seat is not positioned right, when I'm reading something my head is tilted in a wrong angle, I slam the car door too loud. The list goes on and on.
But she is very giving, has bought me multiple expensive gifts, and really makes an effort to dress up to be with me and is very interested and welcoming to my family and friends. She has an expensive condo beachfront on the southern Spanish coast, she invited me to move in with her there.

But this girl controlling behaviour and perfectionism is driving me crazy. Do you guys there is a way to reframe this?
Move into this woman'd place and you'll end up being her puppy.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,695
Reaction score
8,641
Age
47
"Hey I like our situation, but the requests you're demanding are wearing me out. I am who I am. Take me or leave me but I don't want to feel suffocated by your demands if I want to walk around barefoot.".

Communication is critical. This chick obviously has tons of upside. Let her know how you feel about it and she will either make the effort to chill out or she won't. If she does, great. If not, walk.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
Control freak, personally I can't deal with it. Some people can. My guess is you wouldn't make a thread about it if you could.
It'll take you apart and shouldn't be tolerated. He's going to suffer an accumulation of blows.
 

exhausted

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 22, 2014
Messages
1,238
Reaction score
712
Location
usa
A person can only control you if you let them! I don't see anything wrong with this chic, sounds like she has her schitt together. As long as she is fun to be with then don't get hung up on the little irritations that don't matter anyways.
Until she starts punishing him for not following her control..
 
Top