Now what?.

[exhausted]

College degree...

Successful career..

Home...

Cars....

Money for whatever..im not rich just responsible and save well. Decent living.

The checklist is completed..

At the end of the day i am bored.

Thought about buying a boat but have no one to go on it with me..

Family is all out of town, friends are married with kids.. son is in college.

Who wants to buy a boat to ride in it alone?.
Is this lonliness or boredom?.

I'm 39..here is my day.
work.
Dinner.
Gym.
Dog walk.
Couch---- BORED..

What the **** this is it?.

**** i would rather have little kids running around than this boredom.

I'm 39 and found myself playing ps4 the other night.. i watch little tv, mostly movies if anything.

I was an all state athlete , but dont even watch sports anymore except for boxing because of politics and entitled athletes.

I am seriously bored..

can't find an honorable woman as a companion for the life of me.

Maybe i will buy a farm so i have something to do.

I mean is this seriously it?.

Feels like I'm waiting for retirement then death.

 

[user43770]

…if the lives of men were relieved of all need, hardship and adversity; if everything they took in hand were successful, they would be so swollen with arrogance that, though they might not burst, they would present the spectacle of unbridled folly—nay, they would go mad. And I may say, further, that a certain amount of care or pain or trouble is necessary for every man at all times. A ship without ballast is unstable and will not go straight.

- Arthur Schopenhauer


I'm actually in the same position right now. Once all of our immediate needs are met, we get bored and need something else to strive for. It's easy to recognize this, just difficult to determine what's worth striving for.

I just try not to let my boredom lead to any drastic decisions that I'll later regret.

 

[Desdinova]

I'm almost never bored. I have hobbies galore. I have a Youtube channel, a blog, 7 acres of land to deal with, an album that's half recorded, things that need repair, a coin collection that needs attention, and i have to make time in there for the damn GF

Go ahead and buy a farm. You'll never be bored again. Everyone needs at least one hobby. I have too fvcking many. Come over and help me get some of this 5hit done!

 

[exhausted]

I'm almost never bored. I have hobbies galore. I have a Youtube channel, a blog, 7 acres of land to deal with, an album that's half recorded, things that need repair, a coin collection that needs attention, and i have to make time in there for the damn GF

Go ahead and buy a farm. You'll never be bored again. Everyone needs at least one hobby. I have too fvcking many. Come over and help me get some of this 5hit done!

Ha..
i have been looking at land for over a year so its on the agenda..

I have hobbies as well, though at the end of the day bored to where i am not fulfilled.

 

[exhausted]

…if the lives of men were relieved of all need, hardship and adversity; if everything they took in hand were successful, they would be so swollen with arrogance that, though they might not burst, they would present the spectacle of unbridled folly—nay, they would go mad. And I may say, further, that a certain amount of care or pain or trouble is necessary for every man at all times. A ship without ballast is unstable and will not go straight.

- Arthur Schopenhauer


I'm actually in the same position right now. Once all of our immediate needs are met, we get bored and need something else to strive for. It's easy to recognize this, just difficult to determine what's worth striving for.

I just try not to let my boredom lead to any drastic decisions that I'll later regret.

Makes sense.
We need something to strive for. The older we get the more we need that internally i feel.. ten years ago didnt matter.

 

[resilient]

Your list looks good from the outset, OP. You earn a living daily, live responsibly, gym, take care of pet, and make yourself a dinner. All good things and shows you can take care of yourself alone just fine. ++

The only glaring thing I don't see in that simple list is socializing.

I have friends that are all married up and have kids or thinking about having kids too. I hardly see them anymore since I got divorced. Once we separated and she moved out of our home, I had to establish various new social circles to avoid going home every night after night from work, gym, and then straight to video games, Netflix or DVR. My old mutual friends social sphere avoided me like the plague in fear of their relationships becoming unstable or something...

I started up or had to restart hobbies that put me around people: archery, hiking, bonfire chilling, scuba diving, bowling, movie theater night, craft beer tasting, game night, etc.

Are you on Meetup.com? If you not you should check it out. I rarely if ever run into HB8-10s.... there are a ton of HB4-7s to chat up. It's not preferable for LTR, yet it will help prevent you from getting stuck in a rut.

Without being active socially, we DJs get rusty in our game and our sets are sloppy. Beyond Meetup, there are community happenings, festivals, classes, volunteer events, church gatherings, etc., I would suggest putting yourself in those opportunities once a week for a start, so you have something to look forward beyond the daily grind.

 

[BeExcellent]

The only glaring thing I don't see in that simple list is socializing.

Without being active socially, we DJs get rusty in our game and our sets are sloppy. Beyond Meetup, there are community happenings, festivals, classes, volunteer events, church gatherings, etc., I would suggest putting yourself in those opportunities once a week for a start, so you have something to look forward beyond the daily grind.

Truly you need to get out there and get social. You do not know where it will lead and what things will arrive on your radar screen as a result. It will keep your game sharp, give you some stimulation and something fun to do, and might create opportunities in various realms you might not have otherwise run into.

You have to reinvent yourself a little bit. Enjoy the process and you never know what will happen. Look at it as an adventure and get going!

 

[teebear]

Spin plates!

Seriously, manging two or more plates is time consuming and very involving. You won't have time to be bored.

 

[exhausted]

Your list looks good from the outset, OP. You earn a living daily, live responsibly, gym, take care of pet, and make yourself a dinner. All good things and shows you can take care of yourself alone just fine. ++

The only glaring thing I don't see in that simple list is socializing.

I have friends that are all married up and have kids or thinking about having kids too. I hardly see them anymore since I got divorced. Once we separated and she moved out of our home, I had to establish various new social circles to avoid going home every night after night from work, gym, and then straight to video games, Netflix or DVR. My old mutual friends social sphere avoided me like the plague in fear of their relationships becoming unstable or something...

I started up or had to restart hobbies that put me around people: archery, hiking, bonfire chilling, scuba diving, bowling, movie theater night, craft beer tasting, game night, etc.

Are you on Meetup.com? If you not you should check it out. I rarely if ever run into HB8-10s.... there are a ton of HB4-7s to chat up. It's not preferable for LTR, yet it will help prevent you from getting stuck in a rut.

Without being active socially, we DJs get rusty in our game and our sets are sloppy. Beyond Meetup, there are community happenings, festivals, classes, volunteer events, church gatherings, etc., I would suggest putting yourself in those opportunities once a week for a start, so you have something to look forward beyond the daily grind.

Meet up sounds like a decent idea as really what else is there to do at this age? I don't really feel like hitting the bar by myself.

 

[exhausted]

Truly you need to get out there and get social. You do not know where it will lead and what things will arrive on your radar screen as a result. It will keep your game sharp, give you some stimulation and something fun to do, and might create opportunities in various realms you might not have otherwise run into.

You have to reinvent yourself a little bit. Enjoy the process and you never know what will happen. Look at it as an adventure and get going!

Out where is the question.
Not into bars anymore..

 

[resilient]

Yeah man, check out the Meetups in your area. People, I've found are more open to the approach and expanding their social circles.

You can do a search for any interest your into.

I bet you can find a dog walking group too. Kill two birds with one stone. Walk your dog and collect digits.

A majority of my groups don't involve drinking unless we're going camping in the mountains for a few days and we need to kill time sitting by the fire and keeping warm.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

College degree...

Successful career..

Home...

Cars....

Money for whatever..im not rich just responsible and save well. Decent living.

The checklist is completed..

At the end of the day i am bored.

Thought about buying a boat but have no one to go on it with me..

Family is all out of town, friends are married with kids.. son is in college.

Who wants to buy a boat to ride in it alone?.
Is this lonliness or boredom?.

I'm 39..here is my day.
work.
Dinner.
Gym.
Dog walk.
Couch---- BORED..

What the **** this is it?.

**** i would rather have little kids running around than this boredom.

I'm 39 and found myself playing ps4 the other night.. i watch little tv, mostly movies if anything.

I was an all state athlete , but dont even watch sports anymore except for boxing because of politics and entitled athletes.

I am seriously bored..

can't find an honorable woman as a companion for the life of me.

Maybe i will buy a farm so i have something to do.

I mean is this seriously it?.

Feels like I'm waiting for retirement then death.

If you are bored, or in a state of despair, then you need to work on educating yourself further.... to the point of rediscovering a natural gratitude and awe toward life.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

…if the lives of men were relieved of all need, hardship and adversity; if everything they took in hand were successful, they would be so swollen with arrogance that, though they might not burst, they would present the spectacle of unbridled folly—nay, they would go mad. And I may say, further, that a certain amount of care or pain or trouble is necessary for every man at all times. A ship without ballast is unstable and will not go straight.

- Arthur Schopenhauer


I'm actually in the same position right now. Once all of our immediate needs are met, we get bored and need something else to strive for. It's easy to recognize this, just difficult to determine what's worth striving for.

I just try not to let my boredom lead to any drastic decisions that I'll later regret.

Sitting on my bookshelf, next on my reading list.

Contrary to all the jargon from specialists on psychological health, the spiritual and psychological reality may be one of quiet despair; that the human condition is to a certain extent less than perfect... is flawed, or ignorant, or fallen, or vacuous, and the task for us is to learn to bear that burden, not seek to escape from it in consumption, in pursuing happiness, in fleeing misery, in popping pills, in dissolving ourselves in some solvent or mind-bending substance..... or in sex I might add.

 

[exhausted]

If you are bored, or in a state of despair, then you need to work on educating yourself further.... to the point of rediscovering a natural gratitude and awe toward life.

I am in awe of life everyday. The blue skys and low clouds these past weeks are breathtaking. I pulled over to look at the moon last week on my way to the gym, it was gigantic, seemed so close, i called my son to step outside and look at it..
My baby sister gave birth for the first time last week, i am joyous of such miracles.

Yet at the end of the day if you share none of this with anyone there is a genetic human disposition leaving me unfulfilled.

If i was bitter i couldn't care less, i am just unfullfilled and bored.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I am in awe of life everyday. The blue skys and low clouds these past weeks are breathtaking. I pulled over to look at the moon last week on my way to the gym, it was gigantic, seemed so close, i called my son to step outside and look at it..
My baby sister gave birth for the first time last week, i am joyous of such miracles.

Yet at the end of the day if you share none of this with anyone there is a genetic human disposition leaving me unfulfilled.

If i was bitter i couldn't care less, i am just unfullfilled and bored.

It sounds like you have a well developed aesthetic sense and an appreciation for the poetic moments. However, perhaps it is in ethics, in philosophy, in sociability, that we gain more of an 'even keel' for the duration that is life. For example, I've noticed myself feeling more grounded and less moody when focusing more on the 'prose' of life in contrast to the 'poetry' of it..... though no doubt they are complementary.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Some thoughts of Kierkegaard, 'The Sickness unto Death':

"Despair is a self-consuming that can not do what it wants to do. What it wants to do is consume itself, something it can not do and this impotence is a new form of self-consuming... this is an intensification, or the law of intensification. This is the provocativeness of the cold fire in despair, this gnawing that burrows deeper and deeper in impotent self-consuming. The inability of despair to consume him is so remote from being any kind of comfort to the person in despair that it is the very opposite. This comfort is precisely the torment, is precisely what keeps the gnawing alive and keeps life in the gnawing, for it is precisely over this that he despairs [not as having despaired]: that he can not consume himself, can not get rid of himself, can not reduce himself to nothing. This is the formula for despair raised to a higher power, the rising fever in the sickness of the self.'

As soon as a man ceases to be regarded as defined by spirit but only as psychical-physical synthesis, health is an immediate qualification, and mental and physical sickness is the only dialectical qualification. But to be unaware of being defined as spirit is precisely what despair is. even that which, humanly speaking, is utterly beautiful and lovable - a womanly youthfulness that is perfect peace and harmony and joy - is nevertheless despair. To be sure, it is happiness, but happiness is not a qualification of the spirit, and deep, deep within the most secret hiding place of happiness there dwells also anxiety, which is despair; it very much wishes to be allowed to remain there, because for despair the most cherished and desirable place to live is in the heart of happiness. despite its illusory security and tranquility, all immediacy is anxiety and thus, quite consistently, is most anxious about nothing.... it requires extraordinary reflection, or, more correctly, it requires great faith to be able to endure reflection upon nothing - that is, infinite reflection.

... the common view that despair is a rarity is entirely wrong, on the contrary, it is universal. The common view, that assumes everyone who does not think or feel he is in despair is not, or that only he that says he is in despair, is totally false. ... the physician of souls will certainly agree with me that, on the whole, most men live without ever becoming conscious of being destined as spirit - hence all the so-called security, contentment with life etc, which is simply despair. On the other hand, those who say they are in despair are usually those who have so deep a nature that they are bound to become conscious as spirit, or those whom bitter experience and dreadful decisions have assisted in becoming conscious as spirit; it is either the one or the other; the person who is really devoid of despair is very rare indeed.

 

[speed dawg]

I am in awe of life everyday. The blue skys and low clouds these past weeks are breathtaking. I pulled over to look at the moon last week on my way to the gym, it was gigantic, seemed so close, i called my son to step outside and look at it..
My baby sister gave birth for the first time last week, i am joyous of such miracles.

Yet at the end of the day if you share none of this with anyone there is a genetic human disposition leaving me unfulfilled.

If i was bitter i couldn't care less, i am just unfullfilled and bored.

Even if you were married, you'd still be unfulfilled eventually. I mean, you seem to have a balanced life, so why the angst?

I see guys ask this question all the time. No matter how tough or independent guys THINK they are, or want others to think they are - they still have this issue inside them. All of us. I personally think you need to look towards your own spirituality - and not just to make you 'feels' good....find the TRUTH.

 

[exhausted]

It sounds like you have a well developed aesthetic sense and an appreciation for the poetic moments. However, perhaps it is in ethics, in philosophy, in sociability, that we gain more of an 'even keel' for the duration that is life. For example, I've noticed myself feeling more grounded and less moody when focusing more on the 'prose' of life in contrast to the 'poetry' of it..... though no doubt they are complementary.

Makes sense. I've had to turn off the news for the last 2 months due to the negativity and daily cycle of garbage. I had to let my ex go because of all the chaos instability and negativity and stress which was merely mostly over nothing do to her personality disorder. I do much better with positive surroundings

 

[exhausted]

Even if you were married, you'd still be unfulfilled eventually. I mean, you seem to have a balanced life, so why the angst?

I see guys ask this question all the time. No matter how tough or independent guys THINK they are, or want others to think they are - they still have this issue inside them. All of us. I personally think you need to look towards your own spirituality - and not just to make you 'feels' good....find the TRUTH.

I am a dedicated Christian although I will not lie from time to time I do struggle with the disappointment of such the world and how things played out or play out not just my life but many many lives. A lot of people have it very very badly as a healthcare worker I see this daily. Perhaps in a marriage I would be unfulfilled but that is the goal to find such a partner that you are fulfilled even through tough times you are complete

 

[speed dawg]

I am a dedicated Christian although I will not lie from time to time I do struggle with the disappointment of such the world and how things played out or play out not just my life but many many lives. A lot of people have it very very badly as a healthcare worker I see this daily. Perhaps in a marriage I would be unfulfilled but that is the goal to find such a partner that you are fulfilled even through tough times you are complete

Well Christianity was what I was getting at, I just didn't want to come right out and slap you in the face, seeing how I didn't know your preferences. Marriage without Christianity would be unfulfilling, but marriage with Christianity would probably help.

But yeah, we were created for marriage, for that relationship, etc. The family unit is a fundamental tenant of life. People who deny that just contribute to the downfall. You can be independent and still be part of a larger community, and we were meant to be that way. Life is full of all sorts, and it takes all of them working at their best ability to make this place the way it was intended to be.