She said, "I miss you."

[Eric Hawkins]

I am in an interesting situation. My ex girlfriend (we cohabitated) moved out about two months ago. I do not doubt that she loves me. I love her. So, what is the problem? The I'm "I'm not in love with her" situation. While we were together, she helped me a lot. But, when my 13 year old daughter moved home to be with me, my ex withdrew. She would go to the bedroom for hours and not come out or talk. She would get upset if I had to go to my daughter's school and so on, and so forth. Finally, she got mad one morning and left. She just recently told me that she misses me. I did not respond that I miss her. I think that to do so would have been unfair to her. I care about what happens to her. But, we can not be together. There are other issues of incompatibility, as well. How can I reinforce to hwe that I care. But, I do not want her in my life romantically. Any suggestions?

 

[ubercat]

Translation I miss being able to post status affirming things on my Facebook. I miss the social cachet of having a guy on my arm. I miss being able to make my single friends feel bad. And I miss having a boyfriend to subsidise my lifestyle. See Brifaults law

 

[penkitten]

She withdrew because of your daughter?
Was she scared to get attached to her?
Does she like children?
Was she trying to make space so that you could settle your daughter in and bond?
Or was she jealous?

 

[Eric Hawkins]

They got along really good for the longest time. They would joke, have shaving cream fights, etc. I had a few medical problems last year. She would send pictures of them together and they looked like they were having a good time. But, when it became apparent that my little girl would be moving back home, she (my ex) started talking about moving out. She moved her appointments up. She stopped socializing with us. I would go as far as to beg her to join us in the living room for a movie, go out to dinner, etc. I didn't want her to feel like I was forcing her to leave. There were appointments with my daughter's school that I had to keep. She got angry about that. Then, she got angry and left one morning. Now, this woman did a lot to help me after my medical issues. So, for that, I am grateful and will always have a love for her. I just want to understand why someone would leave and then try to make me feel guilty when I don't say that I miss them.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

She's miserable and is hoping you are too. Just let it go man and move on with your life. She made her decision now she has to live with it.

Why should you "reinforce" that you care? She obviously doesn't based off her actions! You did the right thing by not saying it back.

 

[sazc]

If you need to say anything, just reply and say "you are sad that this didn't work out but your daughter comes first and that you wish her the best."

Your child comes first. Leave this woman behind

 

[penkitten]

If you need to say anything, just reply and say "you are sad that this didn't work out but your daughter comes first and that you wish her the best."

Your child comes first. Leave this woman behind

I agree.

 

[Desdinova]

She just recently told me that she misses me. I did not respond that I miss her. I think that to do so would have been unfair to her. I care about what happens to her. But, we can not be together. There are other issues of incompatibility, as well. How can I reinforce to hwe that I care. But, I do not want her in my life romantically.

Respond with "Thanks "

 

[BetterCallSaul]

She's miserable and is hoping you are too. Just let it go man and move on with your life. She made her decision now she has to live with it.

Why should you "reinforce" that you care? She obviously doesn't based off her actions! You did the right thing by not saying it back.

Exactly this.

OP a while back someone posted in another thread that all this ridiculous amount of attention that most women receive in their 20s or for however long really throws their way of thinking so far into left field to seem absolutely nonsensical to most rational folks. The reason their thinking is that way is because whatever stupid sh!t she says when she's that age, guys will agree just for that 0.001% increased chance of getting in her panties. Multiply that by hundreds of guys every year for however many years till she hits the wall and tada! Post-wall she's still thinks that way.

Sounds like you have one of these women.

 

[Eric Hawkins]

Thank you all for your replies. It seems that she has calmed a bit since I did not respond to her manipulation. I'm guessing that she is having a hard time believing that I am happy and content just being a father. Sure, a nice lady to share my time would be great. But, my common sense is lacking in the area of relationships. Hell, even my 13 year old daughter said, "I love you, Daddy. But, sometimes, you're clueless." That's why I'm here.

 

[derby1]

Eric you seem a very mature minded man and im gonna tell you this straight, i can sniff it clean out...the woman has "DADDY ISSUES" she most likely came from a broken home or had a useless dad!!!!! and YOU are the DAD she always wanted sounds weird i know.......i went out with one she even had kids of her own!!!!

*you get on more than great with them!!
*they worship you more than any previous partner in a short period of time*
*they will do ANYTHING for you within reason"
*the sex is good and on tap"

"your kid and them get on like theyre long lost sisters everytime there together!! hence the shaving foam pics" (but then came the mardiness)

^^At First............


and then you may start to not like certain things she does so you "TELL HER OFF"

she then slams her little Fairy dust car into god dam reverse mate and i mean hard!!!! drives over the castle of love she led you too believe and deattaches herself from you QUICKSTYLE

then comes the playground jealous behaviour that youve now witnessed, and now shes attention seeking with the "miss you" she dont miss you mate shes checking your still "THERE FOR HER" incase "SHE NEEDS" you

DO NOT COMMUNICATE WITH THIS WOMAN EVER AGAIN, EVER OVER **** ALL... if you reply to ANYTHING she will eventually go weird/quiet on you like a push pull leaving you mind****ed and "CHASING" her (your one of a hundred mate) (where as to you she is probably 1 of 1?)
you need to get 5 other women on the end of your phone only then will this woman become a distant memory

 

[dude99]

I am in an interesting situation. My ex girlfriend (we cohabitated) moved out about two months ago. I do not doubt that she loves me. I love her. So, what is the problem? The I'm "I'm not in love with her" situation. While we were together, she helped me a lot. But, when my 13 year old daughter moved home to be with me, my ex withdrew. She would go to the bedroom for hours and not come out or talk. She would get upset if I had to go to my daughter's school and so on, and so forth. Finally, she got mad one morning and left. She just recently told me that she misses me. I did not respond that I miss her. I think that to do so would have been unfair to her. I care about what happens to her. But, we can not be together. There are other issues of incompatibility, as well. How can I reinforce to hwe that I care. But, I do not want her in my life romantically. Any suggestions?

Dude she probably moved out and broke up with you because she was branch swinging to another guy. The branch probably broke so now she misses you. This is how i would handle the situation:


Her --"i miss you."
You -- "drive safe!"

Dude she was jealous of your 13 year old daughter. Next!

 

[exhausted]

She withdrew because of your daughter?
Was she scared to get attached to her?
Does she like children?
Was she trying to make space so that you could settle your daughter in and bond?
Or was she jealous?

Jealous. F her

 

[XFORCE]

Did you respond at all? This just happened to me and I'm eager to see how this plays out.

I do have to agree with everyone here. She's testing you to see if you still care but perhaps just to make herself feel better but not necessarily so she can act on it afterwards. She wants to hear (or read) the words. From my experience though, a no response or a somewhat sterile response will have her keep trying to get more reaction from you. F****** women...

 

[Solomon]

She's miserable and is hoping you are too. Just let it go man and move on with your life. She made her decision now she has to live with it.

Why should you "reinforce" that you care? She obviously doesn't based off her actions! You did the right thing by not saying it back.

This, is this woman more important than your daughter? you even said it yourself you had issues, time to move on mate

 

[Masculinity]

Instead of trying to change the culture, these new forum members need to learn from the rest of us and not post their real name and picture.

This ain't Facebook.

 

[noBSgames]

This. She wants to see if you still care. She wants to see if she still has power over your emotions. Don't respond or if you do say "I know" or "thanks".

Don't give any emotional response that's what she wants. If you let her pull your back she will just reject you again. Women always try to win. They're petty, childish, and vindictive. Very few women are too a lesser degree.

My ex does this and she lied and married a guy in her country came back home and tries to do that I miss you crap or like my birthday is in a few weeks and she’s like someone’s special day is coming up with a kissing face.. I don’t respond to any of it..

 

[noBSgames]

What a sicko.

Yeah speaking of that I think she had her sister send me a text saying hi I miss you... I’m like wth.. how are you going to say this when the whole family was in on this going away to get marrried shyt.

I never responded