BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
- Messages
- 4,727
- Reaction score
- 6,716
- Age
- 55
Firstly, who cares how y'all would rate her. OP likes her look and OP's opinion is the only one that matters here. One person's 6 is another person's 8, although the better looking a woman gets the more universally men agree she's attractive.
I talk some about being a "player magnet." That's generally the type of man that I end up in LTRs with and that's the type I married if you look only on the surface. But as I've noted in other posts, many men who are perceived as players get that way because of lack and the inability to find a woman they really enjoy (sexually and otherwise) who is emotionally stable and suits whatever other their individual criteria might be. Many of these men actually WILL gravitate to a relationship with the right (for them) sort of woman. But they are not going to be celibate while they keep an eye out for the right chick, either. That's the rub for many girls and it actually benefits the man in question.
What do I mean by that? Women know that players and perceived players are sought after in the SMP. The OP's disclosures to blondie are in line with this statement. Therefore women who are terribly insecure about a man who is already involved with other women are selected against. Really neurotic or insecure women cannot handle the fact that they enter this man's realm ALREADY with other competition (that he's actively having sex with) on the radar screen. A sexually confident woman who knows she has substance outside the bedroom to offer is not worried about throwing her hat in the ring. Such a woman understands that the player type WANTS to find something MORE than a FWB or hookup. She knows she can deliver that too. And so she doesn't worry about his other interests, she doesn't cling or act insecure, she simply enjoys her time with him, encourages him, gets to know him and demonstrates what she has to offer at the same time. She takes a "May the best gal win" attitude and herself has a DGAF attitude about her. She lets the chips fall and doesn't devolve into clinging or insecurity or drama. She knows this is unusual and she trusts that the player will recognize this in her.
Now as to the contents of Blondie's profile...It does reek of "my way or the highway", which appears in my view to indicate she has had sub-par outcomes in the past with various men. THAT to me is a red flag. There is a bitterness conveyed in this sort of attitude. I mean we all face disappointments in life and romance, but those with good self esteem and stable personalities are able to get up, dust off, and have an openness toward future potential relationships with out carting tons of baggage around. Such people have no need to try and frame the interaction from the get-go with "No THIS, No THAT, Certainly none of X, no Y and under no circumstances any Z!"
So this chick comes to new relationships with bitterness and distrust emanating from her past. New men have to OVERCOME this defense mechanism to be able to have a positive outcome. Most men couldn't be bothered and so will go along just enough to get what they want (sex) and move on. They'd rather not deal with her emotional baggage and therefore she, by her bitter, negative attitude has set herself up for failure. But she doesn't know she is doing that to herself.
And it's not your job to inform her either.
So I agree with your premise, @LJC that being straighforward about being a player or being known or percieved as a player can work in your favor. IMO the biggest advantage it gives you is the ability to select for women who can actually handle the player's perceived higher value in the marketplace. To me the jury is out on whether or not this chick is such a woman based on material she has written about herself. You'll have to let us know if that's so in order to field test the theory, lol.
I'll make a few observations FWIW. You had the balls to be utterly direct. Not vulgar, not snotty, not inappropriate and not snide. Just direct. To be direct in this way conveys IDGAF and also allows that you have other stuff going on. All attractive people always have options. Another attractive person is going to understand this and find it normal. To have such an attitude also conveys that you are NOT going to be clingy to her, women despise clingyness in a man and most hot women are drawn to people who display nonchalance about a pretty woman's looks. When you are nonchalant it gets across that you are accustomed to beautiful women. This adds a comfort factor. All good things.
I bolded the parts in your quote that I think are important for people here to understand. It's transparent. When you are transparent off the bat you are displaying trustworthiness. You are not apologizing for your present situation. You have self respect. You gotta own it and put it out there. This is an efficient strategy in the marketplace because it weeds out women who are put off by the information you have shared and it weeds them out quickly.
I talk some about being a "player magnet." That's generally the type of man that I end up in LTRs with and that's the type I married if you look only on the surface. But as I've noted in other posts, many men who are perceived as players get that way because of lack and the inability to find a woman they really enjoy (sexually and otherwise) who is emotionally stable and suits whatever other their individual criteria might be. Many of these men actually WILL gravitate to a relationship with the right (for them) sort of woman. But they are not going to be celibate while they keep an eye out for the right chick, either. That's the rub for many girls and it actually benefits the man in question.
What do I mean by that? Women know that players and perceived players are sought after in the SMP. The OP's disclosures to blondie are in line with this statement. Therefore women who are terribly insecure about a man who is already involved with other women are selected against. Really neurotic or insecure women cannot handle the fact that they enter this man's realm ALREADY with other competition (that he's actively having sex with) on the radar screen. A sexually confident woman who knows she has substance outside the bedroom to offer is not worried about throwing her hat in the ring. Such a woman understands that the player type WANTS to find something MORE than a FWB or hookup. She knows she can deliver that too. And so she doesn't worry about his other interests, she doesn't cling or act insecure, she simply enjoys her time with him, encourages him, gets to know him and demonstrates what she has to offer at the same time. She takes a "May the best gal win" attitude and herself has a DGAF attitude about her. She lets the chips fall and doesn't devolve into clinging or insecurity or drama. She knows this is unusual and she trusts that the player will recognize this in her.
Now as to the contents of Blondie's profile...It does reek of "my way or the highway", which appears in my view to indicate she has had sub-par outcomes in the past with various men. THAT to me is a red flag. There is a bitterness conveyed in this sort of attitude. I mean we all face disappointments in life and romance, but those with good self esteem and stable personalities are able to get up, dust off, and have an openness toward future potential relationships with out carting tons of baggage around. Such people have no need to try and frame the interaction from the get-go with "No THIS, No THAT, Certainly none of X, no Y and under no circumstances any Z!"
So this chick comes to new relationships with bitterness and distrust emanating from her past. New men have to OVERCOME this defense mechanism to be able to have a positive outcome. Most men couldn't be bothered and so will go along just enough to get what they want (sex) and move on. They'd rather not deal with her emotional baggage and therefore she, by her bitter, negative attitude has set herself up for failure. But she doesn't know she is doing that to herself.
And it's not your job to inform her either.
So I agree with your premise, @LJC that being straighforward about being a player or being known or percieved as a player can work in your favor. IMO the biggest advantage it gives you is the ability to select for women who can actually handle the player's perceived higher value in the marketplace. To me the jury is out on whether or not this chick is such a woman based on material she has written about herself. You'll have to let us know if that's so in order to field test the theory, lol.
